Will You Be Expecting Your Luk Kruang(s) To Look After You In Your Old Age

[garro]

As most of you are aware the family is very important here in Thailand and it is traditional for children to take care of their parents in their old age. My wife is expecting a baby in august and this has got me thinking. In eighteen years time will it be the case that I can kick back, put my feet up and watch the money roll in? or will my child still be leeching off me when they are forty.

What do you guys think?

I am planning on having at least twelve children. That way at least one of them is bound to be a good'un. I haven't discussed my plan with the wife yet

[jumnien]

Interesting question, garro. Hmm? Well, both of my parents are living in Los Angeles, divorced 46 years ago. They are in their mid 70's. I give my mom $2,000/month, but I really don't "take care" of either of them on a daily basis. So, karmically, I suppose I can't expect much different from my luk kreung son when he is my age. Of course, when he is my age I will be 98 years old! I do tell my parents I love them whenever I talk to them and try to be a good son. If my son can manage that, I'll be happy.

[qualtrough]

Certainly not expecting it, but I have made the suggestion to my two daughters from time to time...

[Heng]

It's all relative. There are folks out there that will adamantly insist that being a good child (or good parent) means paying the funeral bill or showing up to claim the body of the child or parent you haven't seen for 30+ years when the cops, hospital, or nursing home calls. Others will go to the other extreme and insist it means remaining a cohesive family unit for each member's entire lifetime, also living in close proximity. To each, his/her own.

[Ijustwannateach]

Both scenarios sound like nightmares... is there a happy medium?

[garro]

Certainly not expecting it, but I have made the suggestion to my two daughters from time to time...

I think that I will read bedtime stories every night to my kid about very good children who looked after their parents. Maybe he/she will get the hint

[qwertz]

Certainly not expecting it, but I have made the suggestion to my two daughters from time to time...

I think that I will read bedtime stories every night to my kid about very good children who looked after their parents. Maybe he/she will get the hint

I'm still helping my in laws 4 years after my wife's death. They're in their 90s and their other kids and grandkids don't do anything unless I twist their arms. It would be nice to think that someone would be there for me one day but I wouldn't count on it and I don't expect it from my own kids. I've saved enough to pay someone to come in and help when I need it, purely on a contractual basis, otherwise I fear my future would be bleak.

Edited March 18, 2007 by qwertz

[naka]

As most of you are aware the family is very important here in Thailand and it is traditional for children to take care of their parents in their old age. My wife is expecting a baby in august and this has got me thinking. In eighteen years time will it be the case that I can kick back, put my feet up and watch the money roll in? or will my child still be leeching off me when they are forty.

What do you guys think?

I am planning on having at least twelve children. That way at least one of them is bound to be a good'un. I haven't discussed my plan with the wife yet

What a strange question !

Did you look after your parents when you reached 18 ?

Naka.

[Casanundra]

I think things are changing across all fronts on this question.

I speak to a lot of educated Thai's here and most of them take the view that once they leave the nest they will not have the traditional responsibility of being their parents pension plan.

[Neeranam]

I speak to a lot of educated Thai's here and most of them take the view that once they leave the nest they will not have the traditional responsibility of being their parents pension plan.

Sounds like their not so well educated to me.

[Boo]

Me & hubby were joking yesterday about how, after our son in born in May we need to have 4 daughters. Get 2 of them married off for the dowries & have 2 of them stay single & at home to take care of us when we are old And if my son marries a good traditional thai girl we could have her live with us too.

It was only a joke but sounds pretty good all the same

[Laughing Gravy]

I think things are changing across all fronts on this question.

I speak to a lot of educated Thai's here and most of them take the view that once they leave the nest they will not have the traditional responsibility of being their parents pension plan.

Sounds like they are very educated to me. Breaking down draconian barriers placed upon them.

[GuestHouse]

In eighteen years time will it be the case that I can kick back, put my feet up and watch the money roll in? or will my child still be leeching off me when they are forty.

It doesn't work like that.

Thais are brainwashed into looking after their mothers, not their fathers.

You benefit from this only if you stick around with you wife ..... not such a stupid idea eh?!

[Heng]

I think things are changing across all fronts on this question.

I speak to a lot of educated Thai's here and most of them take the view that once they leave the nest they will not have the traditional responsibility of being their parents pension plan.

Sounds like they are very educated to me. Breaking down draconian barriers placed upon them.

Hardly draconian.... one rarely hears people say "I wish I had spent less time with them" when their parents pass away. It's a complete balanced cycle. Parents take care of kids when they are unable to take care of themselves. Kids take care of parents when they are unable to take care of themselves. Most would not like to admit it, but all humans are unable to take care of themselves when they are born and then once again when they are extremely old (and no, I am not referring to you guys and gals in your 40's, 60's, and 80's who still have the strength to click on the your automatic bill payment icon to transfer your pension payment to pay the rent for your room). Like it or not, we all eventually lose control of our bodies, no different from an infant not yet having full control over his/her body.

Having a stranger take care of one's parents is just as irresponsible (and some would say cruel and unusual) as having a stranger take care of one's babies. Just IMO of course.

[Ijustwannateach]

Heng, what about people who have been unlucky(?) enough to outlive their children?

[mogoso]

Hardly draconian.... one rarely hears people say "I wish I had spent less time with them" when their parents pass away. It's a complete balanced cycle. Parents take care of kids when they are unable to take care of themselves. Kids take care of parents when they are unable to take care of themselves. Most would not like to admit it, but all humans are unable to take care of themselves when they are born and then once again when they are extremely old (and no, I am not referring to you guys and gals in your 40's, 60's, and 80's who still have the strength to click on the your automatic bill payment icon to transfer your pension payment to pay the rent for your room). Like it or not, we all eventually lose control of our bodies, no different from an infant not yet having full control over his/her body.

Having a stranger take care of one's parents is just as irresponsible (and some would say cruel and unusual) as having a stranger take care of one's babies. Just IMO of course.

Nicely said, Those of us that'll die of old age problems, will at the end be crapping in our beds and being fed by someone, totally dependent on what we've reaped over the course of our lives. If your family takes on responsibility, it'll be for their love of you, and what you've done for them. Your karmic kickback so to speak. If your family justs sticks you somewhere or you've no family and you end up under the care of strangers, I don't think the quality of your final days will be the same. Be a shame to end it on a sour note.

[torrenova]

No, I would not expect my kids to take care of me. I have no intention of taking care of my parents.

[GuestHouse]

Its a very appealing idea to people who are getting old to think of their children taking care of them in their old age.

Perhaps though we should examine the means by which this duty is instilled into children and the impact that has on the lives they live.

I'm not at all sure many of the methods Thais use are particularly healthy for the development of their children, or for that matter, for the adults.

That two way dependency is not accident, and it comes at a price.

[Queers for Fears]

I think they will send a few thousand baht home to you and wife from Bangkok and Pattaya if most of the Thais I know working in these places are anything to go by. This is something you can look forward to

[Queers for Fears]

My kid is graduating Stanford this spring and starting salary will be over 100K in silicon valley with stock options. I like my chances. Oh wait, he's not half thai, full blooded American. sorry

Edited March 19, 2007 by Queers for Fears

[Heng]

Heng, what about people who have been unlucky(?) enough to outlive their children?

Or even people who don't have any children... or gays... or those who are infertile? I'd assume that their answers would be just as varied. Not everyone takes care of their folks. Some focus their energies on themselves, their significant others, their nieces/nephews, their Ferrari, whatever...

Plenty of kids taking advantage, rather than taking care of their parents. Plenty of parents taking advantage of their kids. There also a lot of Thai folks who want to take care of their parents, but burn the candle of their lives at both ends to try to make ends meet (which usually just results in a lot of burnt wick and wax) to do so. I'd suspect that many foreigners are in relationships with those in the latter two categories, hence the frequent bitter views regarding some of these norms. *It can't possibly be their own loved one's doing wrong.... so it must be the system that is wrong.*

"Heng"