How Many Are “Stuck” Here With No Way Out

[fhickson]

6 hours ago, Ron jeremy said:

It seems like he made the right move, a little older but wealthy, and can do what he wants now, I've seen far too many men come here at a young age to live the dream,most for the gals,  some do okay, but the vast majority don't. Run low on cash, especially now as the currency's have tanked. Waste away drinking all day, eating 40 baht meals at food courts, doing visa runs because they can't afford the $800 k. 

Not so much a dream anymore. 

thats likely a self control issue that builds over time. most wont make the move if money is not available.

 

your going to end up like that no matter how much you come with if you have no self control and get a new girl every night, sit around drinking etc.

Edited September 8, 2019 by fhickson

[fhickson]

On 8/14/2019 at 6:53 PM, FredGallaher said:

Finding a reasonable good looking man 20+ years older might be OK in Thailand but its robbing the cradle in the US. Thais also respect older people, my father was quite taken by my wife and told me so. She never complained that he was an old man, but respectfully called him Dad.

he may still have a few years left in him

[jayboy]

9 hours ago, FredGallaher said:

Actually, a young Thai women with a young Thai guy isn't the most desirable situation. Being responsible and taking care of things is not a strong suit of Thai culture. Thailand (Thai) is a matrilineal society where girls are taught they are responsible for mom and dad. Girls remain part of the family after marriage, but authority goes from father in law to son in law. Girls may take the husband's last name but the family is still connected through the mother's side. This is very different than western or Chinese family structures. An older (not too old) man is desirable if they are settled down and prosperous. Many Thai girls don't have the western hang-ups with age difference that we seem to have. However 30 years senior might be too much, but 20 would not raise eyebrows. 

Completely wrong in several particulars though many farang oldsters foster the fond delusion that mysteriously of all the people in the world young Thai women prefer old geezers. Go to a smart meeting place for bright well educated young Thais and you will see the kind of company young Thais prefer.Surprise surprise they prefer bright well educated young Thais of the opposite sex of roughly the same age (usually).

 

If you are talking about uneducated and poor Isaan girls, it's a different story of course.They have very few options.

[madmen]

On 8/18/2019 at 7:50 AM, Nemises said:

 

Where in Aus did you go?

 

+1

I went back to the gold coast and it was great very friendly staff in hotels bars and resteraunts even at the local supermarkets, clean air and world class beaches. Will be my final home when I'm eventually done with Thailand

[Thongkorn]

7 hours ago, fhickson said:

where do all these thai guys go after they sire children and break up with the girlfriend?

 

do they become tuk tuk drivers?

Do you think they really break up, or just hide, then take part of the wife's takings made from the Falang husband

[jts-khorat]

What an interesting Thread!

 

After 15 years in Thailand, at the age of 40, I did exactly that: relocate back with my wife to Europe. But it was not an easy task and a lot of preparation went into it.

 

First, it was clear that I had to marry, here in Thailand, a process taking altogether 9 months to complete.

 

Second, as my birth country has a language test before granting visas, my wife had to go through language school. As she was not always the most motivated (she rather would have stayed in Thailand with me), this was another process taking months, with quite a few set-backs.

 

Third, a job had to be secured; I could have brought her here without it; but even though a guarantor for finances existed in my home country, starting to look for housing on top of buying a car, getting all papers in order (insurances were a nightmare, as I counted as "lifelong uninsured", as they were obligated to keep documentation only for 10 years; my rather expensive Thai health insurance never counted a bit) within the shortest time while at the same time also looking for work would have been too much.

 

As luck had it, I chose a good time in the job market to go back home and had a contract in my pocket beforehand. A job I still have, six years later.

 

But, a lot of wheels had to be kept in motion, my wife had to play her part and I still was well-enough to do in Thailand to be able to choose timing and circumstances, there was never desperation. But I know many friends, who did their relocation the hard way and crash-landed due to having a little bit less fortunate circumstances and luck... and I know a lot of people who would not be back at all without abandoning their families and existence built up over many years.

 

In closing: a lot of time and energy will have to be spent in planning, your partner needs to be on board and you need to be sure yourself that this is the best way forward (the winters here are cold and it took years before we were able to afford the first holiday back). Good luck to all who make this decision!

[Ron jeremy]

On September 8, 2019 at 8:31 AM, jayboy said:

Completely wrong in several particulars though many farang oldsters foster the fond delusion that mysteriously of all the people in the world young Thai women prefer old geezers. Go to a smart meeting place for bright well educated young Thais and you will see the kind of company young Thais prefer.Surprise surprise they prefer bright well educated young Thais of the opposite sex of roughly the same age (usually).

 

If you are talking about uneducated and poor Isaan girls, it's a different story of course.They have very few options.

Other than financial security, there is no attraction for 20 year old gals to old men. Just like a 20 year old guy being attracted to an old lady. Never seen a young man walking around with a 70 year old Thai woman.  It's ok to enjoy the moment, but dont be dillusional thinking your gal is there for any other reason.

ok, I'm getting my popcorn, this should start a <deleted>storm.

my gals different hahaha.

[CharlieH]

Troll remark and subsequent responses removed.

[kwonitoy]

I'm becoming more unstuck every day

 

-Got sole parental power (sole custody) with my son ( 5 years ago)

-Got a divorce from my Issan peasant wife ( July 4 this year, independance day)

-Sold everything with my name one it (ongoing)

-All money transfered back to an offshore bank (also ongoing)

 

End of the school year for my son and its AMF (AdiosMutherf##ker)

So Long and thanks for all the Fish

My son will be raised as a Canadian, and he wants to go.

 

This whole experiment in Thailand (over 23 years) has cost me massive amounts of money, 

But, at the end of it I got a beautiful son, that I love more than anything, and it is returned daily

 

*PRICELESS*

 

 

 

Edited September 11, 2019 by kwonitoy

[Lacessit]

On 8/17/2019 at 10:55 AM, thasoss said:

returning to one's homeland after a decade or more away can be difficult not least cos you find the society you originally left has changed as have the people and of course so have you.

 

I returned to australia and felt like a fish out of water.Found the place riddled with drug addicts,selfish people especially baby boomers with a sense of entitlement from the welfare state.Hated the place...nice country if it was devoid of human habitation.

Get 200 km inland from the coastline, and you'll find there aren't too many people to vex you If you stay away from river systems.

[Lacessit]

20 hours ago, Ron jeremy said:

Other than financial security, there is no attraction for 20 year old gals to old men. Just like a 20 year old guy being attracted to an old lady. Never seen a young man walking around with a 70 year old Thai woman.  It's ok to enjoy the moment, but dont be dillusional thinking your gal is there for any other reason.

ok, I'm getting my popcorn, this should start a <deleted>storm.

my gals different hahaha.

This week's award for a statement of the bleeding obvious goes to......

[fhickson]

 

On 9/10/2019 at 9:54 PM, Ron jeremy said:

Other than financial security, there is no attraction for 20 year old gals to old men. Just like a 20 year old guy being attracted to an old lady. Never seen a young man walking around with a 70 year old Thai woman.  It's ok to enjoy the moment, but dont be dillusional thinking your gal is there for any other reason.

ok, I'm getting my popcorn, this should start a <deleted>storm.

my gals different hahaha.

there is a subset that gets off on much older partners. i have seen this in short term flings where money was not involved.

 

its more common young girl - older man, then it is vice versa.

 

whether its security seeking deep down ill leave that one to the shrink.

[dcnx]

Not stuck but it’s difficult to move. I have a lot of assets here that have been slow to sell and difficult in some cases. 
 

I originally thought Thailand would be my home but wow was I wrong. You couldn’t pay me to spend the rest of my years here dealing with immigration nonsense, deadly roads that are getting more and more crowded, and hopeless pollution. I deserve better and earn enough to move without worry.

 

My heart goes out to those of you who are stuck. Thailand will turn on you when you least expect it, so I do wish you luck.

[Nemises]

Not stuck but it’s difficult to move. I have a lot of assets here that have been slow to sell and difficult in some cases. 
 
I originally thought Thailand would be my home but wow was I wrong. You couldn’t pay me to spend the rest of my years here dealing with immigration nonsense, deadly roads that are getting more and more crowded, and hopeless pollution. I deserve better and earn enough to move without worry.
 
My heart goes out to those of you who are stuck. Thailand will turn on you when you least expect it, so I do wish you luck.

Where do you suggest those still able to get out, move to?

[simon43]

6 hours ago, Nemises said:

Where do you suggest those still able to get out, move to?

Exactly 1 month ago I moved from Thailand to live in the town of Luang Prabang, in north Laos.  so far, it was the best relocation decision that I've ever made.  Sure, all countries/cultures have issues, but so far all paperwork has been sweet and easy, all people friendly and helpful, with genuine smiles.

 

Blood pressure = 110/75, resting heart-rate < 50, looking good ????

[georgegeorgia]

13 minutes ago, simon43 said:

Exactly 1 month ago I moved from Thailand to live in the town of Luang Prabang, in north Laos.  so far, it was the best relocation decision that I've ever made.  Sure, all countries/cultures have issues, but so far all paperwork has been sweet and easy, all people friendly and helpful, with genuine smiles.

 

Blood pressure = 110/75, resting heart-rate < 50, looking good ????

I saw a pic of you before, very fit looking at 60????

[CaptainNemo]

I'm the opposite... finally escaped the west and all it's overbearing bureacracy and onerous costs of living.

Not tied to anywhere, after years of being held back by stuff, it's all buried in a cave, and I live/travel light.

 

Probably done it at the worst time ever, but life in the west coughing up everything I earned in high tax, high costs for accommodation (either rent, or mortgage interest, extra tax), and transport (cars, trains, buses insurance), and just basic shopping (clothes, supermarket), feeling like everyone else is doing better despite my apparently good education and good salary. I just want to keep some of the money I earn, instead of being told I'm well off and being mugged and having nothing left and not much to look forward to.

It's hard to get any kind of business off the ground, so many financial and regulatory barriers to entry; Europe seems to want to crush entrepreneurism and make you give up and opt for a life on benefits.

[TheAceFace]

On 8/12/2019 at 6:54 PM, bwpage3 said:

Total rubbish

 

I have first hand experience, what facts are you spouting from?

 

Thailand International schools are not world class anything

 

Private High Schools in the US top ten can run 1,594,650 baht per year. There isn't anything remotely close in Thailand or anywhere else.

 

Why do you think the majority of IVY league colleges are made up of Americans?

 

<2% of the students at Harvard are Thai (And those are probably the corrupt rich ones that can afford it)

 

 

Totally disagree, not being flippant. You need to give the kids the best you can. BS about Thai schools being bad, if the kids are ok then they will get noticed, maybe you back doored it.

[sunnyboy2018]

On 8/10/2019 at 4:59 PM, brokenbone said:

im stuck in the way of back pain, its too horribly painful to relocate with all that entails

Irrelevant to the discussion as your condition is personal and not due to Thailand. Wherever you were in the world you would have the same problem.  Its not Thai related. If you were broke in California or Qatar you would have the same problem. 

[sunnyboy2018]

4 hours ago, CaptainNemo said:

I'm the opposite... finally escaped the west and all it's overbearing bureacracy and onerous costs of living.

Not tied to anywhere, after years of being held back by stuff, it's all buried in a cave, and I live/travel light.

 

Probably done it at the worst time ever, but life in the west coughing up everything I earned in high tax, high costs for accommodation (either rent, or mortgage interest, extra tax), and transport (cars, trains, buses insurance), and just basic shopping (clothes, supermarket), feeling like everyone else is doing better despite my apparently good education and good salary. I just want to keep some of the money I earn, instead of being told I'm well off and being mugged and having nothing left and not much to look forward to.

It's hard to get any kind of business off the ground, so many financial and regulatory barriers to entry; Europe seems to want to crush entrepreneurism and make you give up and opt for a life on benefits.

Europe crushes entrepreneurship  not the UK. The latter is the least regulated country in Europe regarding setting up a business, especially for foreigners. In Thailand its very difficult.

[sunnyboy2018]

12 hours ago, Nemises said:

 

Where do you suggest those still able to get out, move to?

 

To your home country

 

[sunnyboy2018]

On 9/7/2019 at 5:48 PM, fhickson said:

maybe he's feeding you a line and there is more going on the you realize (likely)

Yep. Hes paying but too proud to say.

[singking]

$1000 a month sounds great. But who is going to pay for it? Governments don't have money except that which they take from other people via taxes.

Ah yes but if the greedy 1% paid their taxes and there was a cap on excessive greed then perhaps we could all live in a more equal scenario


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[CaptainNemo]

15 minutes ago, sunnyboy2018 said:

Europe crushes entrepreneurship  not the UK. The latter is the least regulated country in Europe regarding setting up a business, especially for foreigners. In Thailand its very difficult.

I think it's mainly the cost of ...everything... in the UK for me... I feel like there is way too much unnecessary dead money costs, and parasites operating off various species of rent (I include interest, and "fees" and taxes and things... there's way too much of it... like <deleted> is "stamp duty" for, for example?). I mean finally the whole letting agent scam has been overturned, with all those hollow fees for nothing. That's my problem with the UK, it's indicative of low productivity... just charging layers upon layers of compulsory or semi-compulsory fees/taxes/interest/rent/insurance/etc... for nothing, it's parasitic, and inefficient, and places barriers and burdens on businesses. I'm sure the EU's worse. By being out of it, it's possible to legally avoid quite a lot, and finally keep a reasonable amount of the fruit of your own labour, and recover from ripoff Britain.

[singking]

your body starts deteriorating much faster as you age. 10 years is a huge difference after 40. when your younger you dont notice it much.
 
apart from the obvious aches and pains and little john issues, also ability to be happy in a new location and mental adaptability. can lead to various hardships and resulting complaining about things as well.

That is true generally but if you have the initiative and drive you can channel all your energy into prolonged health and not be concerned about a high bank balance on your death bed. I’ve witnessed so many die having a great bank balance but an unadventurous life. I’m 67 and feel plus dare I say look 15 years younger because at the end of the day happiness and health overrides the bank balance


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[CaptainNemo]

1 minute ago, singking said:

That is true generally but if you have the initiative and drive you can channel all your energy into prolonged health and not be concerned about a high bank balance on your death bed. I’ve witnessed so many die having a great bank balance but an unadventurous life. I’m 67 and feel plus dare I say look 15 years younger because at the end of the day happiness and health overrides the bank balance


Sent from my iPhone using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

I can't wait for my £600/month state pension, just enough to buy a shotgun and opt out of retirement. ????

[seabass69]

OP, PR status for your wife won’t end after 4 years. It’s just that after 5 years on a PR Visa, a Resident Return Visa needs to be obtained. This is a cheap ($300ish), fast and easy process which ensures PR indefinitely 

[rosst]

On 8/10/2019 at 11:39 PM, NCC1701A said:

yes you are stuck. and even if you were in a western country changing jobs at 45 is difficult and in your fifties almost impossible. changing cities, schools is horribly difficult.

and sorry to say your children are really going to have a hard time trying to live in the west.

i think you need to stop thinking about leaving and get a house with no mortgage or debt in Thailand and pray to god nothing happens to your wife.   

There is also the scenario of retirement and where is the money coming from ??

I am currently in OZ sorting my pension, but you need 35 years of work to qualify for what is not a great deal of weekly income but you can live a reasonable life with it.  I couldn't see myself surviving without it.

Your future financial needs are your biggest issue and medical care for the long term and latter years.

If you can secure an English pension, you should be OK but that is also not so easy these days.

Good luck 

[Khon Kaen Jeff]

On 9/11/2019 at 5:55 PM, kwonitoy said:

I'm becoming more unstuck every day

 

-Got sole parental power (sole custody) with my son ( 5 years ago)

-Got a divorce from my Issan peasant wife ( July 4 this year, independance day)

-Sold everything with my name one it (ongoing)

-All money transfered back to an offshore bank (also ongoing)

 

End of the school year for my son and its AMF (AdiosMutherf##ker)

So Long and thanks for all the Fish

My son will be raised as a Canadian, and he wants to go.

 

This whole experiment in Thailand (over 23 years) has cost me massive amounts of money, 

But, at the end of it I got a beautiful son, that I love more than anything, and it is returned daily

 

*PRICELESS*

 

 

 

A bit similar to me, been here 20 years and have a boy and girl, if it wasn't for them I probably would have shot myself by now, as haven't achieved anything else living here, unless porking a few hundred girls and getting drunk on cheap beer is an achievment?

[steven100]

42 minutes ago, rosst said:

but you need 35 years of work to qualify

I think this is incorrect …. I thought it was 35 yrs of work also, however I believe it's 35 yrs as an Australian resident and anything under that is pro-rata