Why do Thai people ignore Foreigners when they are speaking and begin speaking over them, interrupting them?

[ExpatInCM]

This is a serious question that I need help in understanding having to do with Thai culture and Thai communication behaviors,  but I am sure I'll get some non-serious, unhelpful replies mixed in with hopefully some helpful, well-intentioned and insightful comments also.  I honestly want to understand what is going on culture-wise so I can better deal with these experiences.  Thank you in advance for your helpful, insightful comments.

 

I am English speaking only.  My Thai wife is very fluent in both Thai and English. Many times in stores like Home Pro or with waiters/waitresses in many restaurants we go to, if I am active speaking just a sentence or 2 to my wife so she will be able to translate what I want or what I am looking for to the Thai person, they interrupt me quickly when I begin talking by starting to speak themselves.

 

Their interruption talks over my talking and it prevents my wife from hearing any of my words.  Many times I am trying to answer the Thai person who has asked me a question that I need to answer. But as soon as I begin talking to answer, they begin talking again as if I am not even there or as if I am not talking. Sometimes they are very much waiting for the answer they need from me, but every time I begin talking they also begin talking preventing me from possibly communicating and answering their question. This can happen 3 or 4 times in a row sometimes with me repeatedly trying to speak a sentence or 2 to answer their question, but I am just not allowed to speak in front of them and therefore no effective communication takes place. 

 

Sometimes we just give up and stop trying to buy what I need, and we either look for another employee to deal with who lets me talk just a little and we then have success with them and buy the item needed, or go to another store where communication is allowed/possible.  I witness this same thing happening to other foreigner customers also in these same businesses, so I don't feel it is personal.

 

Does anyone else who is a non-Thai speaking foreigner who is with a Thai interpreter (wife, girlfriend, friend, other) experience this frustration in Thailand?  And why does this happen? What is happening?  Is it because they know they can't understand my language at all, and they know the person I am with does understand them, and they are just really impatient and can't resist talking in Thai to the Thai person who is with me instead of allowing me to speak a few sentences that can translated for their (and mine) huge benefit? Something else? 

 

And most importantly, how can I better deal with this situation when it happens and do something that will allow or facilitate effective communication when they keep interrupting me?

 

Thank you again in advance for any helpful responses and insights!

[ezzra]

It's really a case of mined over matter, they the Thai people don't mind and foreigners don't matter...

[villagefarang]

Quite simply, the sounds coming out of your mouth are just noise and have no meaning because you don't speak Thai.  I would suggest you bring your wife up to speed before you go shopping, so she knows what you want and why.  If a young child was crying or talking, adults would simply talk over them, ignoring what to them is a useless interruption.  They may see you in a similar light.

 

I am sure it is frustrating for you, but you are the one who needs to adapt, not the other way around.  You are of course free to completely disregard my advise as I do not fit your criteria of being unable to converse in Thai and needing an interpreter.????

Edited September 1, 2019 by villagefarang

[ratcatcher]

20 minutes ago, ExpatInCM said:

But as soon as I begin talking to answer, they begin talking again as if I am not even there or as if I am not talking.

You say you don't speak Thai, but do you answer in English or leave your wife to communicate with the server?

Best to let the wife deal with ordering food or products and paying for it.

But, they can indeed act as if you do not exist. It happens.

Edited September 1, 2019 by ratcatcher

[Fex Bluse]

I think a few of the responses above are correct.

 

My trick has been to simply ignore them like other Asians do.

 

It is our Western instincts to be polite and respond when someone talks to/at us. 

 

But, here in Thailand, a sales person is regarded as 'lower' than you the customer and as such is not entitled to acknowledgement.

 

Just ignore them until you need something from them, at which time there is a high likelihood they will demonstrate their uselessness.

[Tayaout]

I agree the sound coming from your mouth is like white noise for them. Also since I'm Caucasian they sometime assume everything I say is English even when I speak Thai. They kind of need to switch off their English brain to understand. 

[Yinn]

24 minutes ago, ExpatInCM said:

I am English speaking only

That is the answer.

 

You expat right? Do you speak with people in your country who can not speak English? 

How would you think about someone who live in England but won’t speak English? 

[Fex Bluse]

5 minutes ago, Yinn said:

That is the answer.

 

You expat right? Do you speak with people in your country who can not speak English? 

How would you think about someone who live in England but won’t speak English? 

Yinn, you need to travel more. 

 

Western countries have very diverse populations including immigrants. Many of the immigrants speak very little English (or whatever the national language is). And, yet most Westerners are polite to these immigrants and make effort to communicate with them anyway.

 

For example, Thai students attend the Western universities but most cannot speak English. Same with many Chinese students. But the students still graduate from the universities. How?

 

I have immigrant friends from the countries I lived in all over the world.

 

The fact that you don't understand this might be the reflection of your isolated Thai worldview.

Edited September 1, 2019 by Fex Bluse

[1FinickyOne]

The reason they are not interested in your incomprehensible rambling is that they are afraid of a miscommunication because they cannot understand... they probably have had experience or at least know stories where foreigners get angry [very culturally uncool] when they are not understood and they don't want to be put in harms way for not understanding... so, better to just have everything 100% in Thai where there is less likelihood of a problem... 

 

If you want a moment to explain to your wife [who also may not welcome your interference ] just learn how to ask the salesperson in Thai to wait a moment... and then use that moment to talk with your wife... 

 

I can speak Thai and sometimes a salesperson will repeat my exact words to another just to check that they understand my Thai... good luck..

 

Patience. [ they are also afraid that impatience is 1/2 way to anger ] They really really do not want a problem... 

[villagefarang]

@Fex Bluse Reading the news and social media coverage, one could easily get the idea that many Westerners have a very strong negative feeling for immigrants and those who do not speak English or whatever the native language is.  Granted 'some' Westerners are polite to immigrants but I am not sure you can say, 'most'.

Edited September 1, 2019 by villagefarang

[colinneil]

9 minutes ago, Yinn said:

That is the answer.

 

You expat right? Do you speak with people in your country who can not speak English? 

How would you think about someone who live in England but won’t speak English? 

Spot on Yinn, i am not very good at speaking Thai, but i try my best.

Sometimes my wife speaks to me in English, other times Thai, if i say i dont understand, she says this is Thailand you learn.

Maybe some people think she is wrong, but her doing that certainly helps me learn more of this countries  language.

[1FinickyOne]

9 minutes ago, Fex Bluse said:

Thai students attend the Western universities but most cannot speak English. Same with many Chinese students. But the students still graduate from the universities. How?

I lived in a University town and all the Thai students I met had excellent English skills... if they do not, it is probably that they have excellent written skills and can pass the exams but may be too shy to speak. 

[Fex Bluse]

Just now, kenk24 said:

I lived in a University town and all the Thai students I met had excellent English skills... if they do not, it is probably that they have excellent written skills and can pass the exams but may be too shy to speak. 

Well, I taught as an adjunct at a top-tier US university, and my experience is different.

 

I also worked with and employed top Thais from elite global schools who in their professional work settings can barely put together 2 sentences in English.

 

Despite our anecdotes, much has been written about how poorly Asian students speak English and especially about how poor Thais command of English is (near the bottom globally).

[473geo]

9 minutes ago, Fex Bluse said:

Yinn, you need to travel more. 

 

Western countries have very diverse populations including immigrants. Many of the immigrants speak very little English (or whatever the national language is). And, yet most Westerners are polite to these immigrants and make effort to communicate with them anyway.

 

I have immigrant friends from the countries I lived in all over the world.

 

The fact that you don't understand this might be the reflection of your isolated Thai worldview.

Not really correct, these days in my work place often I am in the company of people speaking a native language to each other, I tend to switch off as quite simply cannot understand. In England my expectation is English will be the language of communication.

[1FinickyOne]

1 minute ago, Fex Bluse said:

much has been written about how poorly Asian students speak English and especially about how poor Thais command of English is (near the bottom globally).

Is that why Thai people rank so high in Scrabble scores? 

 

Are you talking about "much written" about Thais in Thailand learning English? That might be true, and surely the accent is difficult especially when they are learning from Thai teachers who also cannot pronounce well....

 

though I often wonder why most of the expats here speak near no Thai [though htey are here w/oppt at immersion, and their "uneducated" wives and girlfriends speak to them and learn English at a far far superior rate to their Thai... what does academia have to say to that phenomenon? Is that "written about" too?

[Fex Bluse]

23 minutes ago, villagefarang said:

@Fex Bluse Reading the news and social media coverage, one could easily get the idea that many Westerners have a very strong negative feeling for immigrants and those who do not speak English or whatever the native language is.  Granted 'some' Westerners are polite to immigrants but I am not sure you can say, 'most'.

That's fair. No reasonable person can deny that many in the West are also xenophobic. Some opinions of certain classes of immigrant are more warranted than others perhaps. For example, if a significant number of bombings are being caused by a certain group, or if a significant number of stabbings or shootings are being done by very specific groups, then I can understand some general suspicion of them.

 

But, some of the xenophobia is not reasonable. 

 

See, I can admit that certain aspects of my own culture are flawed and in need of constant improvement.

 

Can the average Thai admit and do the same?

 

The difference is that in an average Western country, maybe 50% or fewer locals are xenophobic. In Thailand, some people think that number is much closer to 100% than it is to 50%.

Edited September 1, 2019 by Fex Bluse

[scorecard]

34 minutes ago, villagefarang said:

Quite simply, the sounds coming out of your mouth are just noise and have no meaning because you don't speak Thai.  I would suggest you bring your wife up to speed before you go shopping, so she knows what you want and why.  If a young child was crying or talking, adults would simply talk over them, ignoring what to them is a useless interruption.  They may see you in a similar light.

 

I am sure it is frustrating for you, but you are the one who needs to adapt, not the other way around.  You are of course free to completely disregard my advise as I do not fit your criteria of being unable to converse in Thai and needing an interpreter.????

Whenever possible take a smartphone photo of what you want perhaps from your house or from a website, it helps a lot. 

[Orton Rd]

Even if you speak Thai and pay them they still give the change and receipt to the Mrs ???? Mine always directs them to give it to me.

[Fex Bluse]

11 minutes ago, kenk24 said:

Is that why Thai people rank so high in Scrabble scores? 

 

Are you talking about "much written" about Thais in Thailand learning English? That might be true, and surely the accent is difficult especially when they are learning from Thai teachers who also cannot pronounce well....

 

though I often wonder why most of the expats here speak near no Thai [though htey are here w/oppt at immersion, and their "uneducated" wives and girlfriends speak to them and learn English at a far far superior rate to their Thai... what does academia have to say to that phenomenon? Is that "written about" too?

Using scrabble as a baseline is not a very impressive view of Thais and English, particularly after several decades of English being a centerpiece of the Thai national education curriculum.

 

As for expats who don't speak Thai, I'm sure we both can identify the obvious reasons such as most expats get to Thailand well into their advanced years when it's very difficult to learn another language.

 

Other reasons given by some expats have been a realization that after spending time learning Thai and trying to assimilate, many Thais treat them with the same xenophobia and continue to treat them as perpetual outsiders never offering any improvements in cultural intimacy or other benefits. Many have said that upon Thais learning that they (the farang) speak/understand Thai, the farangs are even treated worse (which has been my experience in many cases).

 

In other words, there is minimal benefit to learning Thai. I use it as a tactical weapon of sorts to prevent people from taking advantage of me and my family. Its usefulness beyond that is minimal.

Edited September 1, 2019 by Fex Bluse

[villagefarang]

1 minute ago, Orton Rd said:

Even if you speak Thai and pay them they still give the change and receipt to the Mrs ???? Mine always directs them to give it to me.

This seems to be an issue of some, but I have the opposite problem.  They want to deal with me but I don't want to be bothered, so direct them to my wife.  Long ago I set her up to be responsible for the daily stuff while I do the online payments and yearly assessment of our assets.  Giving responsibility tends to make people more responsible. 

[Dmaxdan]

 

32 minutes ago, Yinn said:

That is the answer.

 

You expat right? Do you speak with people in your country who can not speak English? 

How would you think about someone who live in England but won’t speak English? 

As far as I'm aware, this topic is not about peoples inability to speak the local language, it is about being interrupted mid sentence when they are trying to speak to someone which in most western cultures is extremely rude. In the west if someone is in mid conversation with another person then you either wait until they are finished, even if that take an hour or you politely ask if you can interrupt. Being constantly interrupted was something i really struggled with when i first came to live here, and even now I never start an important conversation with my wife when there are other Thais about. 

[Fex Bluse]

13 minutes ago, 473geo said:

Not really correct, these days in my work place often I am in the company of people speaking a native language to each other, I tend to switch off as quite simply cannot understand. In England my expectation is English will be the language of communication.

You mean working in England, in your workplace people are not speaking English?

[villagefarang]

3 minutes ago, Fex Bluse said:

Other reasons given by some expats have been a realization that after spending time learning Thai and trying to assimilate, many Thais treat them with the same xenophobia and continue to treat them as perpetual outsiders never offering any improvements in cultural intimacy or other benefits. Many have said that upon Thais learning that the speak/understand Thai, the farangs are even treated worse (which has been my experience in many cases).

 

In other words, there is minimal benefit to learning Thai. I use it as a tactical weapon of sorts to prevent people from taking advantage of me and my family. Its usefulness beyond that is minimal.

Personally, I strongly disagree with this excuse and I have found speaking Thai has produced profound benefits in my life here.

[villagefarang]

5 minutes ago, Dmaxdan said:

40 minutes ago, Yinn said:

hat is the answer.

 

You expat right? Do you speak with people in your country who can not speak English? 

How would you think about someone who live in England but won’t speak English? 

As far as I'm aware, this topic is not about peoples inability to speak the local language, it is about being interrupted mid sentence when they are trying to speak to someone which in most western cultures is extremely rude. In the west if someone is in mid conversation with another person then you either wait until they are finished, even if that take an hour or you politely ask if you can interrupt. Being constantly interrupted was something i really struggled with when i first came to live here, and even now I never start an important conversation with my wife when there are other Thais about. 

As far as I'm aware we are talking about Thailand and not what people do in some other country.????

[neeray]

Take a look around OP. Look well beyond Thailand. This is a world problem, rude but very common. Catch some American talk shows and watch how they "rudely" interrupt and talk over each other.

It's far from exclusive to Thais.

Personally, I have never experienced this problem in Thailand.

[NCC1701A]

what I do when I go to Home Pro is I first go to the tools section where they have wooden ax handles about three feet long and I pick one up and carry it with me as I do the rest of my shopping.  

Edited September 1, 2019 by NCC1701A

[473geo]

4 minutes ago, Fex Bluse said:

You mean working in England, in your workplace people are not speaking English?

Sure, chatting often, if I require an answer to a question I may well interrupt, politely of course

[colinneil]

16 minutes ago, Orton Rd said:

Even if you speak Thai and pay them they still give the change and receipt to the Mrs ???? Mine always directs them to give it to me.

Myself i never have that problem, i go shopping alone.

Always pay with my debit card, never have the wife along, she huffs and puffs at things, picks up puts down, so bloody annoying, i go alone, see what i want in the basket onto the next item.

[cranki]

24 minutes ago, 473geo said:

Not really correct, these days in my work place often I am in the company of people speaking a native language to each other, I tend to switch off as quite simply cannot understand. In England my expectation is English will be the language of communication.

You mean like this....lol

PS: spot the mistake...

 

[neeray]

1 minute ago, cranki said:

You mean like this....lol

PS: spot the mistake...

 

Nice spelling !