The week that was in Thailand news: Animals and Thais jostle for attention in another wonderful Thaivisa week!

[rooster59]

The week that was in Thailand news: Animals and Thais jostle for attention in another wonderful Thaivisa week!

 

 

It was a hectic week on Thaivisa with animals and humans vying for column inches on the news pages of Thailand's favorite online media organization (even if I do say so myself).

 

Rooster was kept busy as four legged creatures gave the two-legged upright variety a run for their money in a series of entertaining stories featuring old and new themes.

 

With a bit of salacious crime and the denouement of a murder case thrown in for good measure it was easy to see why Thai watchers turn to Thaivisa for the best news that the kingdom has to offer.

 

Those who suspect there may be reasons behind all this TV trumpet blowing can rest assured that it has nothing to do with the fact that Rooster is putting in for a "raise" this week. I might even revert to kind and use the term "rise" just in case my English boss gets confused and turns me down citing "economic hardship" or the euphemistic favorite "misunderstandings".

 

Chuang Chuang (or Xuang Xuang) led the way by dying after 19 years on Earth being gawked at by tourists. The Giant Panda - 'loaned' to Thailand by the Chinese  - went to that great bamboo plantation in the sky after chewing his last at Chiang Mai zoo.

 

The Chinese people took to social media to blame the Thais for not looking after him properly claiming Chuang Chuang was fed bamboo stalks instead of the customary leaves. Central kingdom netizens demanded that the deceased's female mate Lin Hui was returned. Lin Hui seemed to take all this in her ample stride by munching on food as normal.

 

It all seemed unfair on the Thais as they had given Chuang Chuang the best accomodation the zoo had to offer and the average lifespan of a panda is 20 years. I hope the Thais don't pander to the Chinese on this issue.

 

Meanwhile in Kaeng Krachan national park - one of Thailand's treasures that teems with wildlife if you can get past the dual pricing guards - an elephant rampaged destroying a convenience store midweek.

 

The Hua Hin district chief has promised a transfer to a less active post for the pachyderm after a string of complaints. This seems rough on "Ai Duan" (The Bloody Amputee) as he lives in an area called Huay Sat Yai - the Creek of Big Animals - and probably considers humans as usurpers of HIS land.

 

Might I suggest a novel idea for his transfer. Why not relocate him to share sanctuary with that other "Elephant in the Room" Big Joke - Lt-Gen Surachate Hakparn. The former immigration chief now shuffling paper could feed him bananas and get the PM's office to foot the bill.

 

This win-win situation would give Surachate something more worthwhile to do and keep both of them out of harm's way.

 

Pigs were also in the news with an outbreak of swine fever causing consternation and traffic cops reinventing what passes for the Thai Highway Code.

 

Some 200 beasts were culled - the four legged variety - in an effort to stem disease. Concerned about the festering mountain of minced pork at Big C I decided to telephone the swine fever hotline - but all I got was crackling.

I'll get my coat.

 

Friday was D-Day for the cops to stop pinching our licences when we so much as breathe while operating a conveyance. The country has so many D-Days now that I am proposing they initiate a day to promote larger mammaries in the Kingdom. This will boost the flagging tourism sector for Europeans. They can call it the "DoubleD-Day".

 

From now on two-footed plod will have to send fines to our homes and it has been promised that from October 1st that threat will actually mean something. Thai media this week said that only 20% of fines out of 13 million outstanding had been paid.

 

All my fines for driving motorbikes on forbidden bridges have been sent to "The House that Rooster Paid For" where my ex-wife still resides. She always gets into a sanctimonious strop demanding that I pay them forthwith. So I remind her about how she got a mechanic to wind the clock back on her car. Accepting her part in malfeasance she pipes down and returns to watering the garden following heavy rain.

 

My policy of filing fines under 'R' (IE binning them) may still work but it appears that the RTP and the DLT might have finally got their collective act together after refusing to speak to each other since HM Rama IV invented plod. However, I shall believe it when I see it and wait to pay fines when tax renewal time comes. 

 

One should only pay money to officialdom when all other avenues of avoidance have been exhausted.

 

TM 30 - surely the buzzword of 2019 - continued to plague the forum like an unwelcome rash. But a story about TM 6 being stopped and a new app for TM 30 was more like a red rag to a Krathing Daeng for the forum faithful. Posts suggesting expats were refusing to travel in the kingdom abounded and ministerial secretary Kobsak promised action in a couple of months. That's about April if this government is to be believed.

 

Thinking of Kobsak my mind wandered to a lovely Scrabble word that became a new addition recently - GOBSHITE. Does wonders on a triple-triple lane, I can tell you.

 

This year's runner up in the buzzword stakes - biometrics - also figured prominently. Naew Na, lackeys of immigration and tourist plod, banged on and on about the new system and immigration chief Big Oud was pictured next to some of Big Joke's old vinyl boards.

 

Big Oud - the sound of a snuffling porcine incidentally - was banging on about how the Big B (Biometrics) was helping him take down all the bad guys his predecessor couldn't locate before he had the shag pile pulled out from under his feet by Big Too. The result is lots of Burmese and Cambodians being sent home for crimes as horrendous as brewing up a bit of kratom tea with a cough syrup chaser.

 

Hopefully, Big Oud and Kobsak can get together before New Year - over regular tea though Krathom might help them be more imaginative - and discuss TM 30. Rooster may be obliged to top himself if the editor continues to send TM 30 stories for translation in 2020.

 

Rooster is much more at home when it comes to my favorite subject - crime. I would have loved the Victorian days when the British public paid a farthing for broadsheet news of the latest doctor murdering his patients or MPs and errant earls squandering public money at Ascot after burying their wives under the rose bushes.

 

All sorts of allegations were flying this week after a young "pretty" called Bell was found dead on a sofa in the lobby of a Bangkok condo. An acquaintance called "Ai Nam Un" (Bloody Warm Water) who had been with her at a drinks party was seen carrying her into then dragging her out of a flat.

 

Methinks that Bloody Warm Water - also referred to as a "Pretty Boy" in the baying media -  may have a case to answer and understandably Bell's mum is a tad suspicious.Friends of the deceased meanwhile sang happy birthday and brought a cake to Bell's coffin at the temple. Wednesday would have been her 26th anniversary.

 

This may be the era of Chakri and not Victoria but there are salacious similarities to keep us on the edge of our 21st Century seats!

 

Returning to animals, one was jailed in Pattaya. This was the scumbag Panya Yingdang who was given the death sentence (commuted to life on admission) for the contract murder of his girlfriend and her lover at Buddha Mountain. His associates also got jailed for very long terms while the mum of the girlfriend expressed her satisfaction with the justice - and the money - she has received.

 

In life Panya had paid his romantic interest 7 million baht before he found out she had a boyfriend. Now doing a life sentence sentence he has had to pay 7 million more.

 

Combining minor immigration crime with large breasts was a story from The Mirror in the UK - a publication that rivals Viz Comic for truth. We were told that Lacey Montgomery-Henderson from Glasgow had been in a cockroach infested Bangkok hell-hole prison for almost 24 hours after ripping two pages out of her damaged passport.

 

Such was the language that I would not have been surprised to read that the reason busty Lacey's travel document got wet was an unscheduled transfer of seminal fluid during an Instagram session in the Gorbals.

 

Also of concern was that someone from Glasgow could have a double-barrelled surname even one referencing our Monty of El Alamein (should that be hyphenated,too?). In my day such haughty names were reserved for parliamentary prats like Rees-Mogg. Last week I saw a Calvert-Lewin equalize for Everton.

 

What is the world coming to? I just can't keep up with this appalling lack of standards.

 

Exhibiting a more welcome change in standards this week was the female bank employee caught helping herself to a customer's cash. She was actually sacked - well, well what is Thailand coming to when you can't dip into something that isn't yours and just get a transfer! Rhetorical question.....

 

Changes to the rules about ganja also remained 'high' on the agenda. However, government plans to allow each household to grow six plants must be looked at as much with a pinch of salt as a whole pack of Saxa.

 

The devil - as always - is in the detail and Satan invariably dresses in tight fitting brown tunics in Thailand. Rooster's call is that the law will state that only plants with an absolute minimum amount of what does you good will be allowed. The strength of plants will then be ignored by the lawless populace who will fall prey to plod's "interpretation" of the law and subsequent extortion.

 

In turn the politicians will jump on Thai media stories about marijuana once again corrupting youth and damaging their ability to rote learn.  While all those of us who know how to sensibly self-regulate and enjoy ganja will suffer. Mark my words - the liberalization of cannabis in Thailand will be a long road appropriately full of potholes for the unwary and riches reserved for the powerful.

 

Mindless polls would have been better read with a spliff this week. One from Suan Dusit suggested that the Thais think MPs are rubbish (this apparently being news) and another via Nida gave a two thirds approval rating to building a new airport in Nakorn Pathom.

 

Though Suvaranabhumi is well on the way to an upgrade there are enormous problems at Don Muang. Going back a few years it was suggested that Government House could be relocated there. Few envisaged the rapid rise in Chinese tourism but now equally few who want a new airport can't imagine Mr Woo's 'wisits' waning. 

 

Forward planning is not a major strength for a nation that spends what they don't have while looking ahead to the next meal they can't afford.

 

Contrary to national habits, planning is rife in the Rooster household. With the wife's birthday next Tuesday every calendar is ringed and all manner of objects are out of place to remind OCD Rooster of the auspicious occasion. And with the sheer horror of the month long school break looming on Friday my DPA's (devious planning antennae) are twitching.

 

I shall be heading to the wilds of Loei for a sojourn with the mother and father-in-law. On the plus side the folks are easy going, central Thai speaking and friendly. Two young kids dumped on them by an errant daughter are polite and make great buddies for my own chicks. The province is also a beautiful place that is expecting 3.5 million tourists this year. Thankfully, I doubt many will be passing the door of another "House that Rooster Built".

 

And so to a few Rooster awards. The "Forward Planner in Thailand Even Though He Is As Barking as His Orders" award goes to Big Too Uncle Prayut for proposing that the capital of Thailand be moved. The search is underway for a suitable city and the General (retired) says it can all be accomplished by his administration.

 

I respectfully suggest to Khun Lung that Pattaya and Bangkok swap places. I am sure with Bangkokian savvy the flooding situation, traffic and sewage in Pattaya can be quickly sorted. Transfer Pattaya Plod to Krung Thep and Bob's your Uncle Too. An added benefit is that within no time at all the former Bangkok will slip beneath the waves as the Pattayans - distracted by having a thriving nightlife once again - perish.

 

Anybody in Pattaya got a condo they'd like to swap?

 

The "Better Get Down To The ATM Quick" award goes to Musk Melon whose continuing defamation spat with Our Vernon took a new twist this week. The Tesla twit claimed that calling someone a "Pedo" is just a common insult that he learnt during childhood in South Africa. Clearly he has never seen the Spitting Image video about the popularity of South Africans.

 

Many on the forum - judging by the likes - think that Musk and Vernon should shake hands and move on. I don't. Our Vern will hopefully take him for millions when the case comes up in a Los Angeles court later this year. There is a world of difference in essentially calling someone a sex criminal and telling them where they can stuff their unworkable sub.

 

Finally a very sad and somber story with a strong Thai connection came out of the UK. Media there reported the death of Laura Daniels, 30, who was the sister of Hannah Witheridge. It has been five years since the appalling rape murder of Hannah and murder of her boyfriend David Miller on Koh Tao in southern Thailand.

 

The whole case should be a reminder to us all that life is just not fair.

 

Rooster 
 

-- © Copyright Thai Visa News 2019-09-21

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[Samui Bodoh]

41 minutes ago, rooster59 said:

Changes to the rules about ganja also remained 'high' on the agenda.

 

I fully agree that the Thai authorities will somehow snatch ganja's loses out of the jaws of ganja's profits and the BIB will somehow snatch extortion and robbery from the jaws of pleasure, profit and enjoyment.

 

It is terribly sad; the Kingdom has an opportunity to be the Asian leader of the legal ganja trade. A wee bit of foresight (yes, I know), a wee bit of planning (yes, again, I know) and a dab of preparation (yes, I still know. Sigh.) would see the establishment of possibly several multi-million/multi-billion baht companies supplying the herb for research and pleasure across the planet's largest continent. A dollop of good luck and a dab of fiddling might see cannabis-related medicines being invented and/or mass-produced in the Kingdom, again leading to potentially millions/billions of Baht profit. Further, that doesn't include all the advantages of creating, writing and implementing rules and standards which other countries would inevitably follow; those who make the rules make them to benefit their own situation and circumstances. Finally, a whole new generation of travelers would wash up on shore, cementing the repeat tourist trade for another 50 years and offering mass employment for generations.

 

Sadly, I can't help but think that instead we are going to see a string of petty scams, petty extortion and low-level, petty blackmail inflicted on the traveling youth.

 

Who's it going to be? Cambodia? Vietnam? Someone else? A wise man looking for a long-term investment might want to give that some thought; getting in on the ground floor of what likely will be a multi-million/multi-billion dollar, Asia-wide business is the method whereby people retire wealthy in their 40s/50s...

 

 

 

[Colabamumbai]

17 hours ago, Samui Bodoh said:

 

I fully agree that the Thai authorities will somehow snatch ganja's loses out of the jaws of ganja's profits and the BIB will somehow snatch extortion and robbery from the jaws of pleasure, profit and enjoyment.

 

It is terribly sad; the Kingdom has an opportunity to be the Asian leader of the legal ganja trade. A wee bit of foresight (yes, I know), a wee bit of planning (yes, again, I know) and a dab of preparation (yes, I still know. Sigh.) would see the establishment of possibly several multi-million/multi-billion baht companies supplying the herb for research and pleasure across the planet's largest continent. A dollop of good luck and a dab of fiddling might see cannabis-related medicines being invented and/or mass-produced in the Kingdom, again leading to potentially millions/billions of Baht profit. Further, that doesn't include all the advantages of creating, writing and implementing rules and standards which other countries would inevitably follow; those who make the rules make them to benefit their own situation and circumstances. Finally, a whole new generation of travelers would wash up on shore, cementing the repeat tourist trade for another 50 years and offering mass employment for generations.

 

Sadly, I can't help but think that instead we are going to see a string of petty scams, petty extortion and low-level, petty blackmail inflicted on the traveling youth.

 

Who's it going to be? Cambodia? Vietnam? Someone else? A wise man looking for a long-term investment might want to give that some thought; getting in on the ground floor of what likely will be a multi-million/multi-billion dollar, Asia-wide business is the method whereby people retire wealthy in their 40s/50s...

 

 

 

Just do it....

[sambum]

"Thinking of Kobsak my mind wandered to a lovely Scrabble word that became a new addition recently - GOB<deleted>E."

 

Wonderfully descriptive word that we Northerners have been using for "donkeys years"!

[thaibeachlovers]

On ‎9‎/‎21‎/‎2019 at 9:52 PM, rooster59 said:

The whole case should be a reminder to us all that life is just not fair.

Indeed. Each and everyone of us should recite that to ourselves after we wake up, and before going to sleep.

IMO the concept of "fair" is a very recent invention by some in western countries, but has never applied in most of the world.

[thaibeachlovers]

On ‎9‎/‎21‎/‎2019 at 10:43 PM, Samui Bodoh said:

It is terribly sad; the Kingdom has an opportunity to be the Asian leader of the legal ganja trade.

So long as "you know who" stand to benefit by it being illegal, don't expect any changes.

BTW, long term use does have psychological implications, and not good ones, despite all the mumbo jumbo about how non addictive etc it is. I know someone personally that used it every day for decades and now he's destroyed.