Thai: Don't go out of your way for Thais.

[Happy Grumpy]

I had breakfast with a well educated Thai, they said don't go out of your way to help the majority of Thais.

 

Because, even though they'll wai, smile and feign gratitude to ease the immediate social situation:

 

1) They won't appreciate it.

 

2) They will consider you stupid for doing so.

 

3) They will expect more.

 

 

For those that have lived here for a decade or more, what do you think? 

[CharlieH]

Nonsense ! You are who you are, people will or won't help others entirely dependent on the situation and their own demeanor.

Race Creed Color or religion doesn't enter into it, or at least it shouldn't. Not in my book anyway.

[Pilotman]

what do I think; keep clear of this 'educated chap',  would be my advice; he sounds like an antisocial Muppet. 

[anterian]

1 and 2 is often true, 3 is always true.

[smutcakes]

Personally i think you are thinking to much.

 

I would do something to help a Thai, the same I would do any other nationality if the situation arose. I would not think to myself, well will this thai show gratitude, feign a smile etc.

 

I would just assist because its good manners and the way i was brought up. Quite frankly, i could not care less whether they say thank you, respect me less or anything else.

 

To be clear i am talking about random interactions, like helping someone with a bag, opening a door for someone. Not talking about house neighbors etc. If i was helping neighbors and they did not say please or thank you, i probably would not bother helping them in the future.

 

Quite frankly other than to make a thread on here, i have no idea why anyone would think or care what others thought about them, especially for doing a good deed.

[nikmar]

not in my experience and I say that knowing full well that people's experiences differ. 

 

Ive always been friendly and social to my neighbours and to those who have kids, I keep an open house to help with English..homework, queeries etc. 

 

My neighbours have reciprocated when Ive needed help in the past, such as moving. 

 

It's all good.

 

 

 

 

[Grumpy John]

That's a pretty large sword to swing at the entire population!  I don't like many people, and befriend very few as in my estimation there are far to many spongers and criminals regardless of what country your in who will try and lead you up the garden path in an attempt to lighten your wallet.  But I have 67 years of living behind me and many experiences to recall so if in doubt about what I see and hear I just think about past outcomes.  Really,  it's up to you not to act like a sucker where ever in the world you are.

[worgeordie]

Did the well educated Thai you had breakfast with,say don't help other Thai's ?

or is this your opinion ?, or did something happen a breakfast to make you

come to this conclusion.your post is a bit confusing.

regards Worgeordie

[samsensam]

 

haha, yes i recognise this attitude. many of my thai friends and the thais i date are thai/chinese and while the majority are extremely pleasant, generous, friendly people; have good jobs, are well educated and are well travelled, some can be absolutely awful to their fellow countrymen and women who they feel are below them. it happens to an extent in many countries but i have noticed it quite a lot here and it is very embarrassing when the thai you has this overblown sense of entitlement; with walks to the front of a queue, speaks in a patronising way to others, is unacceptably demanding. i have dumped women for such behavior.

 

it is partly a result of the hierarchical nature of thai society and wont change, please dont use such behaviour to generalise on the nature of the people of thailand.

[kwonitoy]

1) They won't appreciate it.

They will most definitely appreciate it 

 

2) They will consider you stupid for doing so.

Not really, if any thinking occurs it might be "WHY"

 

3) They will expect more.

10 out of 10 here

[Chazar]

2 hours ago, CharlieH said:

doesn't enter into it, or at least it shouldn't. Not in my book anyway.

your  book however is  not everyone elses  book

[473geo]

Did you offer to pay for his breakfast?

[473geo]

We occasionally help Thai by having locals do jobs for us, and paying them, I doubt they consider us stupid for doing so

Sure they want more work when available

[pookondee]

Probably best to treat this like Thais do.

 

You can offer to do absolutely anything to

"help" Thais,

help with English, whatever.. 

but as soon as money is mentioned, be ready with multiple excuses..

why you cannot.

 

Doesn't matter who it is, family of gf.

It only takes 1-2 knockbacks and they will usually not ask again.

 

Done it many times myself and they dont seem to hold a grudge.

[Number 6]

Not untrue but this is how they view everyone so follow the social norms and be pleasant, wai and move on. You've met the social obligation as the Thai. Done. Far worse can come of it by not doing so.

 

The foreigners that don't wai make all sorts of excuses but in the end they don't know how and don't care.

 

[sirineou]

13 hours ago, Happy Grumpy said:

For those that have lived here for a decade or more, what do you think? 

I hope this thread lasts a while because I have a couple of months before I am here  a decade or more.

[mstevens]

I have always felt that one of the worst traits in a person is a lack of gratitude. Unfortunately, I have found this to the case with quite a few Thais I have known over the years and done things for or helped out (and conversely, I have also known some Thais who are super grateful for even the smallest things). But certainly, if I learn someone lacks gratitude and takes things for granted, it puts me off having much at all to do with them.

[metempsychotic]

I have known plenty of people like this, from all walks of life in many countries. 

 

[metempsychotic]

Has anyone noticed how palpable the misery in here can be when folks are having a few Friday night beverages. 

[scoutman360]

Unless most posters here speak well-educated Thai language and work in affluent Thai offices, I wouldn't put any credibility to the posts I read here. I personally completely relate to this post, and have experienced it for over 10 years working here.

 

The middle class and well educated Thais (mostly educated in western countries) have a respect and tolerance for us here, but in the end, they value their country and we are outsiders. How many of us foreigners living here have best friends that are Thai and they invite us out with their middle-class friends?

 

You can rest assured that the class below this are thinking about their own survival and how can your friendship with them benefit them. This place is not the west. Survival is what they care about most, at any expense.... with a smile.

[Happy Grumpy]

26 minutes ago, scoutman360 said:

How many of us foreigners living here have best friends that are Thai and they invite us out with their middle-class friends?

????

[AlexRich]

It’s a generalisation but will certainly be true for many people. But it also applies to my home country ... you’ll find people like that everywhere. 

[4675636b596f75]

15 hours ago, CharlieH said:

Nonsense ! You are who you are, people will or won't help others entirely dependent on the situation and their own demeanor.

Race Creed Color or religion doesn't enter into it, or at least it shouldn't. Not in my book anyway.

I didn't read where the OP mentioned:

• Race
• Creed
• Color
• Religion

Are you saying that we cannot make assumptions about Thais? I live here and I don't believe it to be true.  We can make assumptions and while there may be exceptions, we will be mostly correct.