how do you tell a thai girlfriend i don't want her 18 year son living with us

[Nemises]

OP, lots of other beautiful, single girls in Thailand with "normal" jobs are out there waiting for you. 

 

Suggest sample many of them and have fun. Life is too short to be stuck with just one - especially when living the dream in amazing Thailand ????

[samsensam]

23 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Could be worse ...... could be her brother living with you.

 

could be even worse, could be her 'brother' living with you...

[Cereal]

I do not understand how any guy, and I am assuming this guy is western, could actually have neither spine nor testicles. 

[giddyup]

1 hour ago, Cereal said:

I do not understand how any guy, and I am assuming this guy is western, could actually have neither spine nor testicles. 

Is everything so cut and dried with you?

[Heppinger]

1 hour ago, Cereal said:

I do not understand how any guy, and I am assuming this guy is western, could actually have neither spine nor testicles. 

did i miss something? am to lazy to back read, can you please give me the highlights? last i knew was, he is her biological son.

[GAZZPA]

First thing to do is ignore every idiot who tells you stuff like "just tell him to go" or "just tell her you don't want him here", I suspect most, if not all pedalling this advice are from broken relationships. 

 

Firstly do you and your girlfriend have a good relationship that has legs? I assume you do, so things to consider. She had a son before she met you, fact, you cannot change that. It is not uncommon for young men of 18 to still be at home. Some cultures have older kids and grandparents living with them, Thai society are much more "family" support then Western cultures. Does the son have the means to support himself properly yet? Whatever his situation in most cases if you start playing ultimatum with a mother she will chose her own children and you you will wreck your relationship. So best thing to do is ask yourself what is it that bothers you about him being there? Does he play music very loud at all hours for example, then you can have a sympathetic discussion with your girlfriend about this and deal with the issues individually but be reasonable..

 

If after thinking this all through you can't live with it then maybe you and your girlfriend were not meant to be because you don't want "the baggage" and you move on...

 

Good luck in sorting it out but be considerate, make reasonable compromises and lastly have an honest and calm talk with your girlfriend.. 

 

 

[Skeptic7]

GTFO! 

 

But good luck with that. Have a feeling you'll be moving or looking for a new GF. 

[rumak]

15 minutes ago, GAZZPA said:

First thing to do is ignore every idiot who tells you stuff like "just tell him to go" or "just tell her you don't want him here", I suspect most, if not all pedalling this advice are from broken relationships. 

 

Firstly do you and your girlfriend have a good relationship that has legs? I assume you do, so things to consider. She had a son before she met you, fact, you cannot change that. It is not uncommon for young men of 18 to still be at home. Some cultures have older kids and grandparents living with them, Thai society are much more "family" support then Western cultures. Does the son have the means to support himself properly yet? Whatever his situation in most cases if you start playing ultimatum with a mother she will chose her own children and you you will wreck your relationship. So best thing to do is ask yourself what is it that bothers you about him being there? Does he play music very loud at all hours for example, then you can have a sympathetic discussion with your girlfriend about this and deal with the issues individually but be reasonable..

 

If after thinking this all through you can't live with it then maybe you and your girlfriend were not meant to be because you don't want "the baggage" and you move on...

 

Good luck in sorting it out but be considerate, make reasonable compromises and lastly have an honest and calm talk with your girlfriend.. 

 

 

"please leave the check with my receptionist.   and I'll see you again next thursday "

[BTB1977]

If you support him in any way, stop. Cut him off of all support.  Motorcycle, cell phone. Only take care of your girlfriend.  At 18 he should be out of school and working.  You didn't say if you are renting or own a house. If renting look for a smaller place. One bedroom.  And tell your girlfriend she can move in with you if she wants. If she doesn't want to, you know where you stand with her and move on. I told my girlfriend many times there are over 30 million thai women.  And said up to you . The boy has a father. Maybe it is time for him to reunite with that side of the family. Have him get a job. There are many options,  but let them know living with you is not one of them. And don't agree to set him up in another place. Or support him. Remember over 30 million.  She can be replaced. 

[lee b]

Dont, move out yourself and live on your own again.

[JeffersLos]

6 hours ago, Cereal said:

I do not understand how any guy, and I am assuming this guy is western, could actually have neither spine nor testicles. 

 

The 18 year old son stole and sold them. 

[daveAustin]

4 hours ago, BTB1977 said:

I told my girlfriend many times there are over 30 million thai women.

Indeed, and you have the pick of about 10 of them ????

[Tagged]

To many keyboards worriers at Tv with to big cajunas! 
 

should be proud of yourselves!

[thaibeachlovers]

On 7/29/2020 at 8:39 PM, yeahbutif said:

how do i  tell a thai girlfriend that i don't want her 18 year son living with us.any longer

Open mouth, say "I don't want your son living with us any longer". If she loves you, he's gone, if she doesn't he's not.

Time to say something was three years ago, so if you want to stay with her, might be a problem. My wife put her family above me- she's alone now, and the money tree has died.

 

One solution would be to move to a very small place, such as a condo with only one room.

[thaibeachlovers]

12 hours ago, GAZZPA said:

Good luck in sorting it out but be considerate, make reasonable compromises and lastly have an honest and calm talk with your girlfriend.

LOL.

 

11 hours ago, rumak said:

Whatever his situation in most cases if you start playing ultimatum with a mother she will chose her own children and you you will wreck your relationship.

True.

 

12 hours ago, GAZZPA said:

So best thing to do is ask yourself what is it that bothers you about him being there? Does he play music very loud at all hours for example, then you can have a sympathetic discussion with your girlfriend about this

That was the situation with my wife and her nephew. We moved as she was never going to confront him. However, that was the beginning of the end. I should have just moved out then, but should have's are always in retrospect.

[thaibeachlovers]

13 hours ago, Cereal said:

I do not understand how any guy, and I am assuming this guy is western, could actually have neither spine nor testicles. 

I'm guessing you are not, and have never been, in a relationship with a Thai woman with children/ family living with you.

[thaibeachlovers]

On 7/29/2020 at 8:46 PM, ukrules said:

Encourage him to join the army.

That's not easy to do. My Thai nephew tried and failed, and he wanted to.

 

I just checked the OP and seems I got caught again, but it's an interesting topic as I've been in a similar situation, but with a nephew.

[Tagged]

1 minute ago, thaibeachlovers said:

That's not easy to do. My Thai nephew tried and failed, and he wanted to.

 

I just checked the OP and seems I got caught again, but it's an interesting topic as I've been in a similar situation, but with a nephew.

I have her this story so many times, and a thai womans relationship to her Son is completely different than to a daughter! 
 

It depends how old the boy is when meeting the woman, but if not to old, the stepfather have as much responsibility to build a relationship with him and guide him as well as a father and a good role model! 
 

Good luck to op, I feel with you, but you as well have a responsibility to make things right for them as you! 

[thaibeachlovers]

1 minute ago, Tagged said:

I have her this story so many times, and a thai womans relationship to her Son is completely different than to a daughter! 
 

It depends how old the boy is when meeting the woman, but if not to old, the stepfather have as much responsibility to build a relationship with him and guide him as well as a father and a good role model! 
 

Good luck to op, I feel with you, but you as well have a responsibility to make things right for them as you! 

They ain't married. He has no responsibility for her son.

[rumak]

6 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I should have just moved out then, but should have's are always in retrospect.

good morning tbl .     that quote was not mine ( notice wrong verb tense...chose)   

but i also LOL  when i read  :  make reasonable compromises and lastly have an honest and calm talk with your girlfriend.     ( yeah right )

 

and just to be a pain in the butt.... i looked up retrospect       i think hindsight would be better:

Retrospect is simply looking back at the past. Hindsight is a perspective on the past in which understanding has been gained which was unavailable to the observer at the time in question.

 

oh, hindsight .   If only we could go back and do a few things differently !     cheers

[CorpusChristie]

21 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I'm guessing you are not, and have never been, in a relationship with a Thai woman with children/ family living with you.

Have you ever been in a relationship with a normal reasonable Thai woman or just psychos from bars ?

 

[Tagged]

10 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

They ain't married. He has no responsibility for her son.

 Married or not, doesnt matter! But the boy was 15 when he arrived, so anyway to late, and a good reminder to anyone what they could face in a relationship with kids! 
 

 

[thaibeachlovers]

1 minute ago, Tagged said:

 Married or not, doesnt matter! But the boy was 15 when he arrived, so anyway to late, and a good reminder to anyone what they could face in a relationship with kids! 
 

 

I agree, which is why I'd never get involved with a women that has live children. Big mistake, IMO.

[thaibeachlovers]

15 minutes ago, rumak said:

good morning tbl .     that quote was not mine ( notice wrong verb tense...chose)   

but i also LOL  when i read  :  make reasonable compromises and lastly have an honest and calm talk with your girlfriend.     ( yeah right )

 

and just to be a pain in the butt.... i looked up retrospect       i think hindsight would be better:

Retrospect is simply looking back at the past. Hindsight is a perspective on the past in which understanding has been gained which was unavailable to the observer at the time in question.

 

oh, hindsight .   If only we could go back and do a few things differently !     cheers

If, after I die, St Peter at the pearly gates grants me one wish before entering I'll ask to go back to when I was 5 years old and live my life over knowing what I know now.

[ChipButty]

Has he not gone yet?

[samisaurus]

16 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I agree, which is why I'd never get involved with a women that has live children. Big mistake, IMO.

THANK YOU!! Few people in this thread speaking with common sense in my opinion. None of this compromise/put him up in an apartment/be a father to him nonsense. He's not yours. Never will be. Gentleman... always remember we can ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS find someone better, younger and hotter. Especially one without any strings attached (ie: Kids). We age like wine they age like milk. Assuming she's 35+ something and with a kid.... she cannot possibly offer what a younger woman can. Her value is almost none compared to a woman who's 30 and without a child. So to the OP, why are U putting yourself through that. Get redpilled and walk away for your own good. Also none of this "love" and relationship nonsense. How many men have ended relationships here only to find love elsewhere. It's an emotion that comes and goes as well as can be re-created with someone else. 

[spiekerjozef]

It's the other way around, they don't want you live with them.

[thaibeachlovers]

7 minutes ago, spiekerjozef said:

It's the other way around, they don't want you live with them.

That's fine as long as they don't want our money either.

[Kelsall]

On 7/29/2020 at 3:49 PM, BritManToo said:

Could be worse ...... could be her brother living with you.

And with that, you are now front runner for POTY!

[rumak]

40 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

If, after I die, St Peter at the pearly gates grants me one wish before entering I'll ask to go back to when I was 5 years old and live my life over knowing what I know now.

"youth is wasted on the young "