To Pay, Or Not To Pay. That Is The Question?

[0Mix1up]

Would you do it for a child of yours? more than likely not.

[qwertz]

If the issue comes under the broad heading of "take care of family" you are in a no win situation - I trust you knew what you were in for when you took the woman on - so fix the bike.

[blizzard]

loz s answer is the best if the guy wanted to help the boy become a man .

but does anyone actually thinks its about anything other than the money. the gf probably just a booty call. having the boy move in with them would be a huge inconvenience.

wertz, i think guys really dont know what they are getting into when thy court thai girls. its all about lub they think. boy lub girl girl lub boy, everything work out.........yeah yeah yeah,etc.

i bet if the girl brings this topic up with her friends her friends would reply get a new boyfriend.

Edited May 11, 2007 by blizzard

[qwertz]

loz s answer is the best if the guy wanted to help the boy become a man .

but does anyone actually thinks its about anything other than the money. the gf probably just a booty call. having the boy move in with them would be a huge inconvenience.

Blizz, you're talking about why I would never again take on a woman with teenage kids. I've been down that road, not with Thais but the result is much the same.

[chanchao]

Tough situation. Having to raise & instil a sense of responsibility in both the son AND the mother. That's almost a no-win situation. I'd say address the mother's education first, if at all possible.

In the same situation I would expect my wife/kid's mum to beat the irresponsible little brat up and down the soi and then take the bike away altogether until he grows some responsibility. And THEN I would pay to fix up the bike and not a second earlier.

Cheers,

Chanchao

[buriramboy]

1) a 14 YO should be living with his mother

2) what is a 14 YO doing riding a motorbike??

3) fix the bike and sell it

4) buy the kid a mountain bike, to show you are a good caring man

[Livinginexile]

Hows a 14 year old kid going to pay for it when he goes to school and lives out in the sticks? Drop out of school and get a full time job paying 2,500 baht a month?

Get your GF to fix it, its her bike, she lent it to her son - surely the money should come from her pocket.

I have to say though, the kid's living without his mum (and I'm guessing his dad) and going to school, I wouldn't be too rough on him, dirt roads and motorbikes don't fare too well and he could have had an accident, which would account for teh damage.

Your G/F's son wrecked HER bike and she wants YOU to pay for the damage???

....and you're thinking about paying???

I bet you pay for everything right?

Time to get a new g/f dude, sounds like she's using you up.

[Acquiesce]

If you give your GF an allowance every month then take it out of that, she'll learn not to give out the bike again in a hurry. I've done this, one thing she hated was loosin money every month.

Give your girlfriend an allowence? Is that like when you got 'pocket money' as a child?

[Firefan]

He,he - now THAT was funny! A point in my book dumspero! Cheers!

Agreed, don't pay.

If she puts up a fuss about it, throw a fit, cry, grab a knife and threaten to slash your wrists. That will put her off balance. (but it doesn't work so well the second time.)

[torito]

I wonder how these 'gentlemen' would have reacted to this thread if it had been a 17 year old Thai girl instead of a 14 year old Thai boy....

Just a thought.

[Luckydog]

Lucky Dog,

Why doesn't the boy come to live with you and your LIVE IN GF? Then you can teach him the values that you stand by and wish to both uphold and perpetuate. You can be as fatherly as your good nature allows and he can learn from your examples. You might just help shape his future in a positive way. If you have moved his mum in I can only assume you care for her somewhat so, why not exercise a bit of charity where the boy is concered. I bet the schools are better where you live that out in the sticks. I bet you could set him a fine example of how to grow into a man. Do you have son's back home, by the way? just wondered.

Go on... Be the exception to the rule and do something special.

Thanks. Wish I was as nice as you. But I ain't! I have my own well brought up Son in The UK. This blighter

is not my problem......

[Luckydog]

My live-in GF has a Son back in the Village. He is 14yrs old. Three months ago she loaned him her New Meo so that he could get to school on time.

When she got it back last week is was in a he-ll of a state ie Panels Missing. Rear Brake not working. Kick starter missing. Mirrors missing. Damaged forks. Engine Valve burned out etc etc.

Now she wants me to pay for the repairs!

I say no-way. Am I right?

I would have had a "chat" with the GF and told her that we pay, but I would also tell her that the consequence is that we have to reduce our spendings to be able to. That way the GF will understand that giving money to her son will impact her monthly spendings, and hopefully she will relay that message to her son. what I'm trying to say is that not paying will make you look bad, and paying unconditionally will make you look like a fool. the main point is to get the GF to understand that money has to be allocated from somewhere. I'm sure that when the GF sees that the repair will hurt her ability to spend money, she will demand an attitude adjustment from her son, and you will be coming out of the situation as a person of good heart, and willing to help. Hopefully this would also solve future money problems with in laws.

just my 2 satang

Morty

Morty. You are a wise old Owl.......Thank you for your 2 satang worth. I may try it.......

[torito]

This blighter is not my problem......

and the question was.....

I say no-way. Am I right?

I am missing something in here......

[Luckydog]

loz s answer is the best if the guy wanted to help the boy become a man .

but does anyone actually thinks its about anything other than the money. the gf probably just a booty call. having the boy move in with them would be a huge inconvenience.

wertz, i think guys really dont know what they are getting into when thy court thai girls. its all about lub they think. boy lub girl girl lub boy, everything work out.........yeah yeah yeah,etc.

i bet if the girl brings this topic up with her friends her friends would reply get a new boyfriend.

Another Wise old Owl! Never had so many really good answers.........

[scousemouse]

Absolutely. Make the little s#!% get a job and pay for the repairs. I would be a good learning i.e real life experience for the lad.

Get a job at 14 years of age !!!!!! , surely school would be better.

And if you are going to lend your motorbike out then make sure you know who your lending it to and that they can look after your property properly.

Either that or move the lad in .

[aussiestyle1983]

If you give your GF an allowance every month then take it out of that, she'll learn not to give out the bike again in a hurry. I've done this, one thing she hated was loosin money every month.

Give your girlfriend an allowence? Is that like when you got 'pocket money' as a child?

You are spot on.

It's actually quite funny hearing on here how many guys have to give their girls an "allowance"

I stoped getting an allowance when I was 15 and started working. Anyone over the age of 18 who needs an allowance can't take care of themselve and obviously that means they are also irresponsible and can become a liability. I would not want to be in a relationship with a liability, regardless of how much or how little they cost...........

[Luckydog]

Hows a 14 year old kid going to pay for it when he goes to school and lives out in the sticks? Drop out of school and get a full time job paying 2,500 baht a month?

Get your GF to fix it, its her bike, she lent it to her son - surely the money should come from her pocket.

I have to say though, the kid's living without his mum (and I'm guessing his dad) and going to school, I wouldn't be too rough on him, dirt roads and motorbikes don't fare too well and he could have had an accident, which would account for teh damage.

Your G/F's son wrecked HER bike and she wants YOU to pay for the damage???

....and you're thinking about paying???

I bet you pay for everything right?

Time to get a new g/f dude, sounds like she's using you up.

On the button as usual Pal.

[Luckydog]

im usually very perceptive about these things.

you think the avg farang w thai girlFRIEND give a hoot about a 14 old boy, not living with them in unholy matrimony.

wake up and smell the som tum!

it would help if posters did give more info so we can make better comments.

Why should I bother you give you more info Bliz?.....When you read between the lines!

[qwertz]

Yeah, I'm having trouble following this too. Now let me see,,,,,,,,,,,,the OP's girl's bike is trashed. Was that the problem? Who did it? - the boy................okay so far. The boy is not the OP's problem............okaaaaaaaaaaaaay. Hm. I'll post later maybe, must go see my therapist. Don't close the thread, maybe he can help me focus.

[lazeeboy]

My live-in GF has a Son back in the Village. He is 14yrs old. Three months ago she loaned him her New Meo so that he could get to school on time.

When she got it back last week is was in a he-ll of a state ie Panels Missing. Rear Brake not working. Kick starter missing. Mirrors missing. Damaged forks. Engine Valve burned out etc etc.

Now she wants me to pay for the repairs!

I say no-way. Am I right?

dont pay. is it the same bike or are they scamming you .pay now and you will always pay if your gf is pissed then find a new one..

[Luckydog]

because all she'll hear is blah blah blah blah blah blah blah here's the 10,000 blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

no disrespect to the lady, but 'PhilHarries' is probably right......(yet I remain out of opinion in here...it is just that 'PhilHarries' comment is quite funny)

Funny yeah. But oh so true....he's been there and got the Tee Shirt. For sure.

[torito]

Yeah, I'm having trouble following this too. Now let me see,,,,,,,,,,,,the OP's girl's bike is trashed. Was that the problem? Who did it? - the boy................okay so far. The boy is not the OP's problem............okaaaaaaaaaaaaay. Hm. I'll post later maybe, must go see my therapist. Don't close the thread, maybe he can help me focus.

'qwertz' while you talking with your therapist please do not forget the question...he is asking whether he is right or not....

no...no...'qwertz' ....is not the 14 years old who is asking!!!

[markr]

1) a 14 YO should be living with his mother

2) what is a 14 YO doing riding a motorbike??

3) fix the bike and sell it

4) buy the kid a mountain bike, to show you are a good caring man

exactly!

It seems you couldn't give a toss about the boy anyway right?

So think of the bike as your gf's!

Would you fix it if she had done the damage?????

Theres your answer.

Mark

Edited May 11, 2007 by markr

[qwertz]

Yo torito, I'm back. My therapist says I'm borderline delusional and who am I to argue, he costs enough. He also thinks maybe I'm keeping bad company here and I'm too sensitive and ought to maybe check out the threads on Buddhism if I must persist with this Thai obsession. I tried to explain this knotty problem about the bike but he broke off the session to go and see his therapist. BTW he's gay and has a Dutch boyfriend; he says if I think women are trouble, better not go gay, that's a rocky road too. I think the prozac is kicking in now, maybe I'll sleep for a while.

P.S. Never heard of a Miaou bike, is it made by one of them hill tribes? Shoulda bought a Harley, they stand up better to rough handling.

Edited May 11, 2007 by qwertz

[Austhaied]

Put your foot down early mate or you will be sorry later.

I have ,and have gained a new respect for not being to "soft".

Thais respect strength not weakness.

I am not saying don't help the poor kid out, just don't let them take the piss..

My 2 satangs..

[dave111223]

Do it the Thai way; say you're going to pay but then avoid it as long as possible.

See how long you can just dodge actually handing over the money

[Neeranam]

There should be a large warning at the airport.

"If a Thai woman has a son, never get romantically involved with her."

There are always problems. Why do you think there are so many single women with sons?

Thais respect strength not weakness

Does anyone respect weakness??

Edited May 11, 2007 by Neeranam

[qwertz]

QUOTE by Neeranam: Today, 2007-05-11 20:12:22

Thais respect strength not weakness

Does anyone respect weakness??

The meek shall inherit the earth (if nobody harder has any objections).

Edited May 11, 2007 by qwertz

[Austhaied]

There should be a large warning at the airport.

"If a Thai woman has a son, never get romantically involved with her."

There are always problems. Why do you think there are so many single women with sons?

Thais respect strength not weakness

Does anyone respect weakness??

Weakness, vulnerabilty etc should be shown compassion, so yes i still respect weakness, we all have some..Do you ?? Stay on topic mate.

[qwertz]

Newsflash. the OP has signed off and posted his thanks in another thread. You are now all wrestling with a theoretical dilemma, may the force be with you.