The world’s worst cruise? Sailing from Singapore to Thailand complete with monkey attacks, sexism and even a punch-up

[webfact]

Spirits aboard the ship were dampened by more than rain. Photo: Shutterstock

 

● For one travel writer, an eight-night experience aboard a ‘floating Oriental Express’ turns out to be the misadventure of a lifetime

 

● ‘By the time dinner came around, I knew we had made a horrible mistake’

 

By Lee Cobaj

 

The skies are a bleak shade of grey above the island of Koh Adang, in Thailand’s magnificent Tarutao National Marine Park. The usually luminous green Andaman Sea has dimmed to the colour of moss. Soaked in drizzle we sit under palm trees with towels wrapped around us, watching feral monkeys prowl through the prehistoric landscape.

 

We were warned not to bring any food or drink to the island as it might encourage the monkeys to attack – macaques are the hooligans of the animal world – but one German woman must have missed the memo. No sooner has the ring pull popped from her can of cola than a marauder splits off from the troop and starts sprinting along the shore towards her. In a blink, it’s running up her body tearing at flesh as it snatches the can from her hand. Everyone on the beach looks on in horror as the woman cries and bleeds and the monkey jubilantly downs the dark liquid. It’s day five on the worst trip I’ve ever taken as a travel writer.

 

Going on a cruise was not something I had ever wanted to do – the rushed stops, the forced fun, and round-the-clock buffets held no appeal, never mind the hideous environmental impact and regular outbreaks of disease – even before the coronavirus made the Diamond Princess famous for all the wrong reasons . But, my editor (not for this publication) had persuaded me that this would be a floating Oriental Express; an intimate experience on a smaller tall ship, one with about 150 passengers and a more tasteful feel.

 

Full story: https://www.scmp.com/magazines/post-magazine/travel/article/3129377/worlds-worst-cruise-sailing-singapore-thailand

 

-- © Copyright South China Morning Post 2021-04-18

 

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[wombat]

sounds like a normal Saturday night in Darwin

[Surelynot]

Rather unfair.....the writer seems to have had set their mind on it being a disaster ......can't control the weather, can't control stupid........having said that I can't think of anything worse than a cruise.

[Falcon]

Many years ago now, we went on a cruise from Singapore to Thailand and back again with star cruises. It was honestly one of the best holidays we ever went on.  It was great, from the entertainment, the food and the quality and friendliness of the staff, couldn’t complain about anything and would definitely do it all again and recommend to anyone to try it out.

[parallaxtech]

I went on the Diamond Princess all the way around Japan in 2018 with my girlfriend and, out of ten cruises I have taken, it was the best!  I love cruises.

[Surelynot]

Just now, parallaxtech said:

I went on the Diamond Princess all the way around Japan in 2018 with my girlfriend and, out of ten cruises I have taken, it was the best!  I love cruises.

I have often thought of trying one.....but the enjoyment of such, I think, is more dependent on one's character than the cruise itself........I know friends who live and breathe cruises.....very gregarious .....make friends for life with everyone on board.........I am more suited to an isolated croft in Ross and Cromarty.........each to his own

[micmichd]

Analphabetic hysterical German women should stay at home. 

[J Town]

I used to work for Royal Caribbean Cruise Line and have gone on several afterwards as a guest. I plan on taking another as soon as this Covid nonsense is contained. Different strokes I guess.

[Excel]

3 hours ago, Surelynot said:

Rather unfair.....the writer seems to have had set their mind on it being a disaster ......can't control the weather, can't control stupid........having said that I can't think of anything worse than a cruise.

I can,  sinking whilst on one ????

[Caldera]

Jesus H, the horror.

 

[Andycoops]

Never had the inclination to do a cruise stuck with thousands of others and no chance of getting off when you want to escape the bingeing hordes.