"Conversations" on Tinder

[Elkski]

Some very great information from Sbux and Airalee here.   I had lots of experience with Thai cupid 4-5 years ago.  Tinder at that time seemed like a meat market.  I was looking for more than raw meat.  I wanted potatoes and salad too.  No sorting feature and it took to long to find out the basics.     Some very good pints have been made in this thread and much more eloquent than that could pen.   But let me try to give a good star to some.   I assume you know how to thin down the list if your not looking for working girl.  Contact you at 2-4 am Thai time.  As others have said, fancy bags, phones, pictures of travel, no ce hotels, lots of skin, sexy pics.    The religious tattoo on the back can be in very good girls but usually older women.  But one tattoo means they will be chast until married. 

*. They are working 70 hours so really be mindful of their spare time.

*. Even if their english is above average they will be shy using it for fear of mistakes.

* Love for thai womsn does contain more if the support than Western society.   I think they know the pay ranges for the top 10 professions.  They want to be able to make parents proud.  Teacher isn't on the top 10 list.  But as you say maybe it helps you weed out good diggers.  I know this broke old dentist. ( Bought n lost two houses to thai wives) he really shouldn't use Dentist on a dating site but it brings them in , young and all. 

 

 

 So sad to see people who use the word "sinful" and judge other people. 

I found it can take several months of online chatting, even if you met in person while on holiday for some good girls to open up on line.  They begin to risk using english.  Try  using TTalk translator app.  Talk in thai.  You can talk real time as it has  an auto copy paste feature. I have never chatted using it's chat feature.  

Many thai women are quite innocent and conservative.  They stay clean until entering nursing school and don't get out until after a couple years on the job at 25-26.   Can still be virtuous.   

You say her beauty is in a quirky way?  This can be good because Thai boys left her alone as well as many farang.   Some women blossom after 25, 30, or 35 IMHO.  

[bwpage3]

On 4/18/2021 at 4:00 AM, Nick in Thailand said:

What heathenly filth you are sir! I implore you to reread my previous comments. I am speaking with young women of good repute, nurses, teachers etc. 

 

How very dare you! 

They wouldn't be on Tinder if they were of good repute now would they?

[bwpage3]

On 4/18/2021 at 4:00 AM, Nick in Thailand said:

What heathenly filth you are sir! I implore you to reread my previous comments. I am speaking with young women of good repute, nurses, teachers etc. 

 

How very dare you! 

duplicate post

Edited April 19, 2021 by bwpage3

[Gracas]

On 4/18/2021 at 4:01 AM, Nick in Thailand said:

Perhaps I should just accept my fate and marry a masculine, overweight feminist in Australia. 

Someone has to take a bullet for the rest of us. Nice to see people stepping forward.

[Gracas]

On 4/18/2021 at 4:01 AM, Nick in Thailand said:

Perhaps I should just accept my fate and marry a masculine, overweight feminist in Australia. 

Someone has to take a bullet for the rest of us. Nice to see people stepping forward.

[Airalee]

24 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Don't you think it is already a big compromise for a Thai woman to spend time with a farang? We are in many ways different to Thais. And what we think is normal is for many Thai people absolutely not normal.

Sometimes we are attracted to easy other. But there are lots of compromises right from the beginning.

They have a choice,  after all, we are in Thailand.  They can always date a Thai guy although sometimes, depending on the person, that too could be considered a compromise.  When I speak of compromise, I speak more of us having to assimilate to every aspect, whim and fancy of a Thai woman because...Thailand.   I can (in general) respect their culture without having to kowtow to every cultural nuance lest I be “pulled up” by whatever Thai woman I might be talking to at the time.  If they want a Farang guy, then there will have to be a meeting of the minds somewhere in the middle for the relationship to be healthy and somewhat equitable.  
 

If they want a Thai guy in a Farang body?....not gonna happen and both parties are going to end up disappointed.  Saying that they are already compromising by choosing a Farang paints all Farangs here with a broad brush (although I will readily admit that there is a higher proportion of shady/sketchy Farangs here than back in the west).  If a woman is compromising by choosing a Farang, she is always welcome to go back to Thai men.  

Edited April 19, 2021 by Airalee

[Airalee]

20 minutes ago, Elkski said:

Many thai women are quite innocent and conservative.  They stay clean until entering nursing school and don't get out until after a couple years on the job at 25-26.   Can still be virtuous.   

I can tell some hilarious stories about some Nurses, and can show you the picture of one in her Nursing uniform looking as innocent as can be.  What you won’t see is the massive chest tattoos or the big thigh tattoo nor will you know that before going to nursing school, she was (per a friend of mine) working in Singapore.

[The Theory]

Dating in Thailand is different/difficult than 10 or 12 years ago when there was no smart phones in hand of girls, full of apps. The only way was sitting in net cafe or pub/disco. It was really easy to meet girls since they had no smart phone to keep their head in it. They looked around and picked what they liked. 
Now, they can interview you in matter of few minutes from anywhere they are and they waste time, next. 

[Elkski]

Tinder is just a tool.  Some good girls may try it.  Who knows.  

Some Thai women have seen bad examples of how thai men or father's are and seen successful farang unions and have decided they will try a farang relationship.  Most just looking for a non alcoholic, non gambler, caring man who  won't sleep around to mut.  

A western man who may cook, clean, garden, mechanic, hobbies, no n brown eyes, nice nose, tall, lighter skin, good teeth, and probably will always want to live in a nice house or accomodations with aircon and hot shower is a positive.  Maybe they dream of leaving Thailand.   Good girls don't go out to clubs often ( unless work function or girl group function like bday party) so social media is the only way.  You are looking for an innocent girl so assume she doesn't know what love feels like, doesn't know how to converse with a intelligent man.  You must be super patient.  But you can't leave a potentially good one alone to long.  There are probably other men talking to them.  Pre covid it meant book your tickets.  Show her your "sincere" a big word for Thai women.   

Edited April 19, 2021 by Elkski

[1FinickyOne]

On 4/18/2021 at 4:01 PM, Nick in Thailand said:

IDK, the women are beautiful but robotic, and they, and the rest of society, lack empathy imo. 

 

I was hoping I was going to get something more real here. 

 

Perhaps I should just accept my fate and marry a masculine, overweight feminist in Australia. 

robotic? lack empathy? - empathy seems to be a rare quality these days, but maybe be a bit more patient - real feelings take time... 

 

masculine? Try an ultra feminine lady boy maybe? 

[Elkski]

It takes a person with cajones to say these things about ladyboys.   Most of us can't imagine and are disgusted just hearing about this fetish some have.   May I suggest you keep these thoughts private as I think it tends to make some of  us open minded accepting types become more negative.  Enjoy your lifestyle but not in my face please. 

[Elkski]

Oh I forgot to tell op.  Most gals use a beauty app but many don't even know their phoned or apps are doing this, they claim.  Always live video with prospects before wasting much time.  This online dating sorting thing only works if the man is available during the woman's free time.  And also ask about debt early on as no way a teacher will be able to bail out some of these gals.  Such lax lending rules in Thailand.  Thais don't understand compounding of interest, principal and interest.  They believe debt is theirs and separate from the man so why should he care.  Others are seeking a western man as only way out of their debt predicament.    As others have said there are facebook groups dedicated to understanding all things in farangland legal and otherwise.  

[BritManToo]

2 hours ago, Elkski said:

I was looking for more than raw meat.  I wanted potatoes and salad too.

I have no interest in a 'woman' with meat and two veg!

[CharlieH]

4 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

I have no interest in a 'woman' with meat and two veg!

I do ! Used to love it when my Mother did a roast dinner on Sunday...????

[OneMoreFarang]

3 hours ago, Airalee said:

If they want a Thai guy in a Farang body?....not gonna happen and both parties are going to end up disappointed.  Saying that they are already compromising by choosing a Farang paints all Farangs here with a broad brush (although I will readily admit that there is a higher proportion of shady/sketchy Farangs here than back in the west).  If a woman is compromising by choosing a Farang, she is always welcome to go back to Thai men.  

There is a broad brush for farangs. They grew up in a different culture which was (likely) very different from the Thai culture. I.e. many of us grew up with only our parents and maybe siblings and we visited the grand parents from time to time. They didn't live in the same house or same village. Many of us grew up with "Christian values" even if we didn't go to church. And obviously we all grew up with not Thai as our first language. Many of us also grew up in countries with little corruption. Paying cash to the police is for most of us a new concept. There are many other differences about what is/was normal for us in our home countries and what is normal for Thais in Thailand. And many Thais don't know our "normal" because they never lived anywhere in farangland. 

 

In any relationship it helps if people from the same culture are together because lots of things don't have to be explained. When we have the same background we know the same "truth".

 

In a relationship between farang and Thai there are lots of things which we assume from our own culture but which is very different in Thailand. That means we both have to learn about the culture of the other person to understand the other person better. I think that is in a was a big compromise. Because it takes a long time and is often not easy.

[Nick in Thailand]

3 hours ago, 1FinickyOne said:

robotic? lack empathy? - empathy seems to be a rare quality these days, but maybe be a bit more patient - real feelings take time... 

 

masculine? Try an ultra feminine lady boy maybe? 

I'm talking about Chinese women here friend. But yes, I will try a ladyboy again, just to make sure. 

[Nick in Thailand]

2 hours ago, Elkski said:

Oh I forgot to tell op.  Most gals use a beauty app but many don't even know their phoned or apps are doing this, they claim.  Always live video with prospects before wasting much time.  This online dating sorting thing only works if the man is available during the woman's free time.  And also ask about debt early on as no way a teacher will be able to bail out some of these gals.  Such lax lending rules in Thailand.  Thais don't understand compounding of interest, principal and interest.  They believe debt is theirs and separate from the man so why should he care.  Others are seeking a western man as only way out of their debt predicament.    As others have said there are facebook groups dedicated to understanding all things in farangland legal and otherwise.  

Very interesting tip about debt. Thanks. 

[Nick in Thailand]

4 hours ago, Elkski said:

Tinder is just a tool.  Some good girls may try it.  Who knows.  

Some Thai women have seen bad examples of how thai men or father's are and seen successful farang unions and have decided they will try a farang relationship.  Most just looking for a non alcoholic, non gambler, caring man who  won't sleep around to mut.  

A western man who may cook, clean, garden, mechanic, hobbies, no n brown eyes, nice nose, tall, lighter skin, good teeth, and probably will always want to live in a nice house or accomodations with aircon and hot shower is a positive.  Maybe they dream of leaving Thailand.   Good girls don't go out to clubs often ( unless work function or girl group function like bday party) so social media is the only way.  You are looking for an innocent girl so assume she doesn't know what love feels like, doesn't know how to converse with a intelligent man.  You must be super patient.  But you can't leave a potentially good one alone to long.  There are probably other men talking to them.  Pre covid it meant book your tickets.  Show her your "sincere" a big word for Thai women.   

Thanks for the quality reply. 

[Nick in Thailand]

3 hours ago, Elkski said:

It takes a person with cajones to say these things about ladyboys.   Most of us can't imagine and are disgusted just hearing about this fetish some have.   May I suggest you keep these thoughts private as I think it tends to make some of  us open minded accepting types become more negative.  Enjoy your lifestyle but not in my face please. 

I'm not sure what you mean. Are you saying that giving or receiving disgusts you? Which one do you prefer then? :s

[Airalee]

2 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

That means we both have to learn about the culture of the other person to understand the other person better.

I understand what you’re saying in the entirety of the post and agree with it too.  I snipped this part as to me it is the essence of what I was trying to explain.  The key word is that both need to understand and learn about their partners culture.  Just being with a Farang is not a compromise for the Thai women unless as you say, they too (the woman is included in “both”) are willing to learn about our culture in order to understand the other person (us in this situation) better.  My experience has mostly been that they have no interest in learning about us or our cultures.  They are very Thai-centric.  It is what it is and one has to accept that fact.  
 

I’m very much a “meet in the middle” kind of guy and am perfectly willing to make compromises but there are some areas where I am not willing, such as how it is somehow more acceptable to play fast and loose with the truth (much more grey areas).

[BritManToo]

7 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

And obviously we all grew up with not Thai as our first language.

About 60% of Thais grew up with 'not Thai' as their first language.

So I have that in common with them too!

Edited April 19, 2021 by BritManToo

[seancbk]

On 4/18/2021 at 3:16 PM, 1FinickyOne said:

The question can be - tell me about yourself, what do you enjoy doing? ask about their family... things that might be important to them - you can learn a lot that way

 

Say thing that will get them talking... 

 

I ask them what sort of cars their parents drive and if they are in Bangkok.   

If they aren't in Bangkok I ask what they do, if the answer is farmer then I never speak to them again.

I'm not sure how well it's working.  I've not had to deal with any illiterate, poor farm girls but on the flip side I've been single for 5 years since breaking up with my last stunning hiso gf.

[starky]

On 4/18/2021 at 6:00 PM, Nick in Thailand said:

What heathenly filth you are sir! I implore you to reread my previous comments. I am speaking with young women of good repute, nurses, teachers etc. 

 

How very dare you! 

Yes as it well known that all the reputable Thai ladies use tinder as finding fine upstanding men to spend their time with. 

[1FinickyOne]

5 hours ago, seancbk said:

 

I ask them what sort of cars their parents drive and if they are in Bangkok.   

If they aren't in Bangkok I ask what they do, if the answer is farmer then I never speak to them again.

I'm not sure how well it's working.  I've not had to deal with any illiterate, poor farm girls but on the flip side I've been single for 5 years since breaking up with my last stunning hiso gf.

I would far far far prefer a typical farm girl to any hiso brand wearing stuck up lady... 

[BritManToo]

Just now, 1FinickyOne said:

I would far far far prefer a typical farm girl to any hiso brand wearing stuck up lady... 

............ With a fortune in debt and expectations of more.

[1FinickyOne]

15 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

And obviously we all grew up with not Thai as our first language.

does with not = without? 

 

 

[1FinickyOne]

Just now, BritManToo said:

............ With a fortune in debt and expectations of more.

most that I know have no debt.. they are not rich enough to even expect anyone would give them a line of credit or how that works...

[OneMoreFarang]

1 hour ago, 1FinickyOne said:

17 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

And obviously we all grew up with not Thai as our first language.

does with not = without? 

Some of us also grew up without English. ???? 

[OneMoreFarang]

1 hour ago, 1FinickyOne said:

most that I know have no debt.. they are not rich enough to even expect anyone would give them a line of credit or how that works...

Then maybe you know more farm girls and not so many middle class girls.

It seems lots of people who can get credit cards max out all of their credit cards and from then on it goes only downwards.

[1FinickyOne]

33 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Then maybe you know more farm girls and not so many middle class girls.

It seems lots of people who can get credit cards max out all of their credit cards and from then on it goes only downwards.

correct.