Stories Can Be True

[Jimjim]

Time for a girl story since I've never shared. Oh, and even though it's a story, it's a true story.

I've had a few Thai girlfriends and a Filipina. Every one of them liked to check my mobile phone for who called me and who texted me. If something looked unfamiliar a short question and answer session ensued about who called me and why and who were they, etc. This every happen to anyone else? Seems everyone is suspicious in Bangkok.

My last two major girlfriends, one a Filipina and another Thai, were the most jealous women I've ever met by far. When I saw the story in a Thai newspaper about a farang woman coming to Thailand and killing her farang husband up north, which is a highgly interesting story in itself with many twists and turns as to the two main players (it could certainly be a movie and the thread can be found somewhere on this forum), my girlfriend said to me in the car as we were driving, "See, watch your back!" and then laughed heartily. I know it was said in jest, and she had a laugh that maked me feel good, but I always wondered in the back of my mind if she'd be so jealous as to go through with something like that.

As far as jealous incidents go, she got mad at me one night simply because I did not answer my phone. She thought I was with another girl. Is it not plausible that I could be in the shower? I was and told her so when I called her back. Then I talked to her again and I was already at the BTS by that time as shower was done and I had walked the 5 minutes to get there already. She was sure I was lying about being the shower 20 minutes earlier. It took a long phone call to convince her.

My question is, do you find women from Thailand or other closeby countries to be extemely jealous? I certainly do. It's a little scary in one sense, and comforting that they could think so highly of you to be jealous. I guess it's better than not caring.

THE END

Edited May 19, 2007 by Jimjim

[November Rain]

Possessiveness & jealousy are not comforting emotions, either for the person feeling them or the object of their jealousy. They are more to do with deep-rooted insecurity in the person feeling jealous, than their love for the other person.

"True" love means trusting your partner, & believing their explanations, in fact, rarely asking for explanations, as you feel secure in your relationship & your love for each other. Jealousy is one of the most destructive emotions for any relationship.

Of course, if the partner is not trustworthy & has proved that, then the above doesn't apply.

[Jimjim]

Agree, yet I have personally found jealousy to be par for the course in Thailand. I'm asking if most have found the same.

[PeaceBlondie]

I'm not going to answer the poll, having only had American girlfriends and a wife, none of whom were jealous. My Thai boyfriend can get jealous, but he's not a woman.

Agreeing with November Rain, as she posted above: love is trust. Distrust is not love. I would tell a ridiculously jealous lover, "You do not love me, so if you want to leave, leave now."

[scousemouse]

There is not one nation which creates the most jealous women....

It is the nation of women....

BTW - we dont help that much either !! .

[Jimjim]

To PB:

Did you have any American boyfriends? If so, would you say your current beau is more jealous?

Edited May 19, 2007 by Jimjim

[Fred Sanford]

It's normal here I'd say and can be the norm elsewhere. Did you ever check her phone? There might be some interesting stuff on there

[Jimjim]

It's normal here I'd say and can be the norm elsewhere. Did you ever check her phone? There might be some interesting stuff on there

Ya, never got the chance. Next time I have a Thai girlfriend, I should try and return the favor.

[PeaceBlondie]

To PB:

Did you have any American boyfriends? If so, would you say your current beau is more jealous?

Thanks for asking. No, they were born in China, Vietnam, Mexico, etc. And they weren't such long term relationships that I can make any conclusions.

How can one give an accurate answer, based on personal experience? Who among us has had 5 Thai, 6 American, 7 British, 4 Peruvian, and 2 Mongolian long-term lovers?

[Jimjim]

To PB:

Did you have any American boyfriends? If so, would you say your current beau is more jealous?

Thanks for asking. No, they were born in China, Vietnam, Mexico, etc. And they weren't such long term relationships that I can make any conclusions.

How can one give an accurate answer, based on personal experience? Who among us has had 5 Thai, 6 American, 7 British, 4 Peruvian, and 2 Mongolian long-term lovers?

Ah, ok, so you can't say any were more jealous than another?

I should add that some jealousy is common in any relationship and healthy to a point.

My brother is married to a Mexican girl. She's a great woman, but I tell you, she is way more jealous than any American girlfriend he's had for sure. He can't really keep up with a couple of his old female friends especially if she knows he liked them in the past, even though they weren't together. Something he has decided to accept though, so all power to him.

[PeaceBlondie]

Well, my Thai boyfriend is jealous enough that I just advised my American friend that if he's around the house, he shouldn't even mention the province where my prior Thai boyfriend hails from.....

[sgunn65]

To PB:

Did you have any American boyfriends? If so, would you say your current beau is more jealous?

Thanks for asking. No, they were born in China, Vietnam, Mexico, etc. And they weren't such long term relationships that I can make any conclusions.

How can one give an accurate answer, based on personal experience? Who among us has had 5 Thai, 6 American, 7 British, 4 Peruvian, and 2 Mongolian long-term lovers?

Ah, ok, so you can't say any were more jealous than another?

I should add that some jealousy is common in any relationship and healthy to a point.

My brother is married to a Mexican girl. She's a great woman, but I tell you, she is way more jealous than any American girlfriend he's had for sure. He can't really keep up with a couple of his old female friends especially if she knows he liked them in the past, even though they weren't together. Something he has decided to accept though, so all power to him.

I can't say I agree that some jealousy is healthy. It isn't! Jealousy is about possession/ownership and derives from insecurity.

If you get jealous about your partners behaviour maybe look at the behaviour in isolation. Using jealousy as an excuse for your reaction is just that; an excuse.

To get back to the point the only experience I have is with English women though my thai wife doesn't like Kate Moss!! Can't think why! Maybe if this thread comes up in a year I might have a different opinion

[kmart]

To PB:

Did you have any American boyfriends? If so, would you say your current beau is more jealous?

Thanks for asking. No, they were born in China, Vietnam, Mexico, etc. And they weren't such long term relationships that I can make any conclusions.

How can one give an accurate answer, based on personal experience? Who among us has had 5 Thai, 6 American, 7 British, 4 Peruvian, and 2 Mongolian long-term lovers?

There's this kid with Down's works in the local temple near to me, and I quite fancy him but am unsure how to approach him.... Any tips?

[Jimjim]

I can't say I agree that some jealousy is healthy. It isn't! Jealousy is about possession/ownership and derives from insecurity.

If you get jealous about your partners behaviour maybe look at the behaviour in isolation. Using jealousy as an excuse for your reaction is just that; an excuse.

To get back to the point the only experience I have is with English women though my thai wife doesn't like Kate Moss!! Can't think why! Maybe if this thread comes up in a year I might have a different opinion

I think there is a healthy jealousy. Meaning, as little as possible and easily dismissed. It's healthy in that it shows we're human and we have strong feelings for another. Illogical and neurotic jealousy in not healthy of course, but some jealousy is quite harmless. When I say "some," I mean jealousy that shows up quite infrequently and is often more cute when observed than liable to cause a big, stupid argument. I have much experience with the big, stupid arguments and less with the cute kind, but anyway.

[tuky]

To PB:

Did you have any American boyfriends? If so, would you say your current beau is more jealous?

Thanks for asking. No, they were born in China, Vietnam, Mexico, etc. And they weren't such long term relationships that I can make any conclusions.

How can one give an accurate answer, based on personal experience? Who among us has had 5 Thai, 6 American, 7 British, 4 Peruvian, and 2 Mongolian long-term lovers?

There's this kid with Down's works in the local temple near to me, and I quite fancy him but am unsure how to approach him.... Any tips?

Is that meant to be funny? or were you intending to be offensive?

[November Rain]

I can't say I agree that some jealousy is healthy. It isn't! Jealousy is about possession/ownership and derives from insecurity.

If you get jealous about your partners behaviour maybe look at the behaviour in isolation. Using jealousy as an excuse for your reaction is just that; an excuse.

To get back to the point the only experience I have is with English women though my thai wife doesn't like Kate Moss!! Can't think why! Maybe if this thread comes up in a year I might have a different opinion

I think there is a healthy jealousy. Meaning, as little as possible and easily dismissed. It's healthy in that it shows we're human and we have strong feelings for another. Illogical and neurotic jealousy in not healthy of course, but some jealousy is quite harmless. When I say "some," I mean jealousy that shows up quite infrequently and is often more cute when observed than liable to cause a big, stupid argument. I have much experience with the big, stupid arguments and less with the cute kind, but anyway.

That's interesting. Sounds like the fact that you actually like a bit of jealousy displayed in your relationships. Could that be due to insecurities of your own? Wanting the other to display some form of "caring" about you & your actions, by exhibiting jealousy?

[qwertz]

I think, Rain, that there's a subtle difference between jealousy and possessiveness; they're often confused.

Jealousy often arises from mistrust, possibly caused by some failure to meet expectations of fidelity.

Possessiveness is often unfounded and directed at someone who has probably never stepped out of line.

It's a fact however that that both are usually based either on the imagined ownership of or exclusive claim on another person.

[Jimjim]

That's interesting. Sounds like the fact that you actually like a bit of jealousy displayed in your relationships. Could that be due to insecurities of your own? Wanting the other to display some form of "caring" about you & your actions, by exhibiting jealousy?

Hmm, not quite sure why this is in the Farang pub now, but anyway. I never would have found it.

All I was saying was everyone gets a little jealous from time to time, and it's normal. Don't read too much into it.

Edited May 21, 2007 by Jimjim