Make Your Own Pattaya News Headlines

[PhilHarries]

British tourist arrested 3am Walking Street - Sober!

[suiging]

Claims that his water supply had been on for 24 hours by a long term Pattaya resident, rejected as ridiculous by City Hall !!

[suiging]

SPACESHIP SEEN HOVERING OVER SOUTH PATTAYA.

Alien spokesthingy commented:

" We came looking for other intelligent life forms in the Universe.............. As we couldn't find any, we've gone home "

[Jet Gorgon]

Pattaya Quoted as Best Thai Resort Area -- Vancouver Gay Overeaters Anonymous

[cdnvic]

Pattaya Quoted as Best Thai Resort Area -- Vancouver Gay Overeaters Anonymous

Anonymous about what?

Being Gay, Fat, or from Vancouver?

[Jet Gorgon]

Pattaya Quoted as Best Thai Resort Area -- Vancouver Gay Overeaters Anonymous

Anonymous about what?

Being Gay, Fat, or from Vancouver?

Sh*t, it's their club's name, don't ask me.

[suegha]

Pattaya Quoted as Best Thai Resort Area -- Vancouver Gay Overeaters Anonymous

Anonymous about what?

Being Gay, Fat, or from Vancouver?

Sh*t, it's their club's name, don't ask me.

Oh Jet, I think you know the answer to the question...

[Thaddeus]

Pattaya Quoted as Best Thai Resort Area -- Vancouver Gay Overeaters Anonymous

Anonymous about what?

Being Gay, Fat, or from Vancouver?

Sh*t, it's their club's name, don't ask me.

Oh Jet, I think you know the answer to the question...

Let me guess .... the part they hide is being French

[suiging]

Surrender.

First word taught in German in French kindergartens.

[Thaddeus]

Man saved by sock

Tone deaf and tea-total westerner David Watt was saved from certain death by a lone sock.

Our intrepid reporter Watyuwant Imakeitup Jnr arrived at the scene early (well before the police) and discovered farang Khun David hanging upside down from a washing line and in an impromptu interview discovered that Khun David had decided to end it all. Instead of the normal 'head first' method, David just stepped off the balcony, half way down his foot neatly inserted itself into a sock that had been placed out to dry by the Condominium supervisor, Pl Lt Gen MaJ Whomee, some six months earlier.

Khun David stated that the next time he had a fit of depression he would try the normal technique and he has since moved to Condo Balaclava.

[Jet Gorgon]

Thai Aunty Kidnaps Monk for Bt2mil Ransom; wants compensation for his erroneous lottery numbers

[Austhaied]

Thai student asks her teacher a question and receives death penalty.

[suiging]

Government pledge to keep ownership of Socks for Thai People only.............National heritage must be preserved, says Minister.

[bazmlb]

Gasoline station on Pattaya Tai (you know which one) caught not cheating on fuel fills

Shell spokesperson claims it must have been a mistake

[coldcrush]

Thai Bar Girl Gives All her Money and Belongings to Foriegner

[kayo]

Thai Bar Girl Gives All her Money and Belongings to Foreigner

Mr Gere, 62, was relieved following the decision made by the kind hearted and generous Thai Girl. Some days prior to his introduction to the young lady, who was working for the first time in the bar, Mr. Gere's pet Hamster had fallen ill and refused to run on the round treadmill in it's cage, thereby deprived Mr Gere's Grandmother of electricity and... (article continues on page xx)

[Austhaied]

Immigration officer sacked for smiling at passport control

[suiging]

Pattaya Mail tells the truth about local politician !!!

Readers were amazed to find an article that actually contained reliable, truthful information in Sin City's premier English language rag.

Ned Brute, a convicted football hooligan commentated;

" Whatever next. They'll be calling for people convicted of crime to actually do their time soon........I'm off to South America ".

[Jai Dee]

Topic moved to Pattaya News Forum by request.

Although this is a fun thread and not meant to be taken seriously, please do not post overly-offensive remarks.

We're in this thread for fun... not to be offensive or offended.

/Moved.

[DeputyDawg]

Weho Pays a Bill without spending 30 minutes of his life checking for errors Staff at Fuji also stated he must have been in a forgetful mood on this particular day as he also left 3 x 1 baht coins on the table and said thank you as he left.

[Jingthing]

New York's Metropolitan Opera to Move to Thepprasit Boxing Arena

Thai Boxing and Mud Wrestling Still on for Tuesdays and Fridays

New Gugenheim Museum Asia Slated next to Tukcom

Jomtien Now Arts and Culture Capital of Asia, Aussie Gays to Blame

Police Colonel Sosuemepat Starts New Crackdown to Ban Opera Glass Sales 1000 meters from schools and beer bars

[DeputyDawg]

Toster Forgets to close a thread

[DeputyDawg]

Pattaya People print a true story

[DeputyDawg]

Tourist police find a sober English Man in Soi Bukhow (P*%s off Phil) with a valid Visa

When questioned all he could say was I am sorry.

[johnh101]

GARY GLITTER ELECTED MAYOR OF PATTAYA

[opothai]

Thai police arrest thai man for assaulting a foreigner, and the judge gives him four years.

and the judge added, he must serve at least a couple of days before he is considered for early release.

[crudy21]

CRAZY DAVE'S WINS EGON RONAY AWARD

[gharknes]

Motorbike taxi drivers beat up falang on soi 14 walking street then arrest themselves.

[Humphrey Bear]

CRAZY DAVE'S WINS EGON RONAY AWARD

He's just got his third Michelin Star tyre

[rgs2001uk]

english teachers fake degree proven to be genuine.

after an extensive internet search, teacher able to prove dumbass academy actually exists, and that the $200 he paid for the degree did not require attendace only ,for it to be issued.

shocked school authorities now to consider promoting said teacher to principal , in honour of his resourcefullness and ingenuity at not actually wasting 5 years of his life to get a traditional style degree.

a school spokesman said this method of learning may point the future course for thai schools, where pupils graduate with qualifications worth even less than the mickey mouse certificates handed out to their uk counterparts.