Need your opinion as experts on Thai girls, telling my experience

[scubascuba3]

It will depend on age gap, if money is involved (includes long game) and attraction.

 

I think guys are gullible and think it's genuine. Non sex workers are generally looking for someone around their age unless desperate

[theonetrueaussie]

On 8/29/2021 at 4:04 AM, bunnydrops said:

Pretty much my story. Met on Thaikisses, Married 2 months after I met her. A hard working woman. Even though I told her she didn't have to work, she works everyday for less than 500 baht a day when here in Thailand. ^ months out of the year we go back to the US where she got a job working in landscaping. 11 years together now. I recommend the book "Thai Fever" to learn about how Thai women think.

I think this is the thing most westerners fail to acknowledge here though, You met her and quickly got married. Most guys including myself want to date for at least a year or more before we get married and the thing with most thai girls is if you are not married then many consider themselves single still. 

[steven100]

now ....  Dear John,   ....   oop's '   sorry I forgot the question     !

[OneMoreFarang]

What do people expect from online dating?

Pretty/cute young girls have more than enough opportunities to meet guys in real life. If they go online they will only have hundreds of more available guys waiting for them.

So if you are superman or maybe a Korean boy band member then those girls might be really interested in finding YOU. What chances have normal guys to find great girls for a real relationship on the internet? About 0.

[jesimps]

On 8/28/2021 at 11:23 PM, Golden Triangle said:

Stop looking online, the ones on line as far as I can work out only want your dosh, I met plenty of very nice ladies working in markets, 7/11 etc, yeah had a few bar girls in the early days of a month long holiday to get rid of the dirty water but plenty of normal girls out there.

 

My Mrs used to sell fish in lots of the local wet markets, we met at a party of a mutual friend, been together for just over 10 years now, my neighbour has a GF who operates 3 or 4 food stalls around the Jomtien area, always busy ordering stock & checking on staff, but she's independent and enjoys life. Try normal women.

Good advice. Give the online ones a body swerve. After several months of bar mongering I met my missus at a local restaurant where she worked as a temporary waitress/cook. She's a teacher by profession, but had recently arrived in the area and took the restaurant job to tide her over until she found a suitable position at a local school. It took a lot of wooing, but I managed to win her over and we've now been together/married some 14 years. 

 

Edited August 30, 2021 by jesimps
change

[malibukid]

i find Thai woman superficial, and way to conservative for my likes.  hung up on themselves and constantly seeking affirmation. can't blame them, look at the repressive cultural they where raised in. they do not like to show affection in public.,  have you been to a bar, i have never seen Thai's get down and dance.  just sit around and drink,  boring.  they are eye candy and thats about it. try having a challenging conversation or eliciting an opinion, forger about it.  Western girls are a lot more fun in every way.  i can not see how anyone would travel half way around the world to hook up with one.  the Thai's are nice people but you should never trust them they lie with impunity.  

Edited August 30, 2021 by malibukid

[malibukid]

27 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

What do people expect from online dating?

Pretty/cute young girls have more than enough opportunities to meet guys in real life. If they go online they will only have hundreds of more available guys waiting for them.

So if you are superman or maybe a Korean boy band member then those girls might be really interested in finding YOU. What chances have normal guys to find great girls for a real relationship on the internet? About 0.

this is why i always worked the backstage passes. 

[JBChiangRai]

Have you been married before?

Did it work out?

 

Remember the definition of stupidity....

[CrunchWrapSupreme]

1 hour ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I'm glad you realise that "luck" was involved.

Yup. I definitely lost the height game. Purely luck. In about 6th grade I noticed that I just stopped growing. In the US and most other Western countries the ladies all want 6'+. Ridiculous when this is largely the exception. Totally superficial also. Being seen next to that big guy is quite the status symbol, regardless of how much of a jerk he might be. Which usually winds up being the case when seeking others with superficial priorities. I solved that problem coming to a country where most of the chicks are 5'. ???? Now I seem to have gotten lucky with my wife.

[hotchilli]

On 8/28/2021 at 10:36 PM, John2021 said:

Shall i change nationality? What am i doing wrong? Thanks for your feedback.

All you seem to want to do is date and enjoy, that's why you find the girls you use.

There in it for the same reason.

As for finding a new love after dumping you that's because they dumped you, would you think they would miss you or mourn their loss for months?

They move-on.

Try some commitment and sincerity you might find likewise.

[CrunchWrapSupreme]

16 minutes ago, jesimps said:

After several months of bar mongering I met my missus at a local restaurant where she worked as a temporary waitress/cook.

That's the same path I took. Had my fun after having arrived, then popped into a random small restuarant down a Sukhumvit soi. Causally chatted up a waitress. Got her Line ID like it was nothing, I'd already gotten so many. Cute, but not a stunner, which really is the way to go if you're expecting an LTR. Though at the time I wasn't expecting much of it. Then over time we just kept talking and talking, then I moved far away and we kept talking. I was surprised she wanted to stay in touch, then wanted to come see me. All these other chicks I had in progress were flaky, just wanted to mess around, or began shamelessly hitting me up for cash, which she never did. So we ended up living together, then later got married. Lucky she's a hard worker, and for awhile we had a successful little business going, which Covid's put a stop to unfortunately. I believe she'll go far when I take her back to the States.

[OneMoreFarang]

39 minutes ago, malibukid said:

 they are eye candy and thats about it. try having a challenging conversation or eliciting an opinion, forger about it.  Western girls are a lot more fun in every way.

But most of those western women are ugly and have a bad attitude. And if you find the 1 in thousands who is pretty and has no attitude why would she want to waste her time with you? (sorry not just you, basically all of us).

 

Personally I think it's a good idea to look for the important things in life: A girl should be pretty and cute and fun and smile at me, and obviously it's good if she can cook. If I want a challenging conversation there are some smart people out there. And at least 99% of them are not what I would date or marry.

[dlclark97]

On 8/28/2021 at 11:03 PM, JustAnotherHun said:

"Love is just a four letter word" (Bob Dylan)

"What you call love was invented by guys like me to sell nylons" (Don Draper)

Love seems to be a five letter word here 'money'.  This is not to say there are not some very wonderful, loving and loyal Thai ladies here.  Instead of bars, parties etc, look at the educated ladies working in banks, hospitals and the like.  You have been looking in the wrong places.  The girls you refer to see their current boy friends off on the departures level at the airport then go to the arrivals area to snag a new one. 

[dlclark97]

1 minute ago, dlclark97 said:

Love seems to be a five letter word here 'money'.  This is not to say there are not some very wonderful, loving and loyal Thai ladies here.  Instead of bars, parties etc, look at the educated ladies working in banks, hospitals and the like.  You have been looking in the wrong places.  The girls you refer to see their current boy friends off on the departures level at the airport then go to the arrivals area to snag a new one. 

And, forget the dating and other social (anti social) websites.  Anyone can post their or anyone else's pictures to get the conversation started.  Once you fall in love having never met them face to face they may be looking for money to get passports and plane tickets to come meet with you.  They often may be working from scripts provided to them by their employer. 

[jomtienisgood]

On 8/29/2021 at 6:49 AM, ezzra said:

All the rest of your post is moot, in Thailand money talks, the rest walks, while everywhere else you can melt a lady heart with bunch of flowers, here a bunch of money will do the trick and the rest is just icing on the cake...

Because flowers in the rest of the world are for free????? ????????????

[jomtienisgood]

21 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

But most of those western women are ugly and have a bad attitude. And if you find the 1 in thousands who is pretty and has no attitude why would she want to waste her time with you? (sorry not just you, basically all of us).

 

Personally I think it's a good idea to look for the important things in life: A girl should be pretty and cute and fun and smile at me, and obviously it's good if she can cook. If I want a challenging conversation there are some smart people out there. And at least 99% of them are not what I would date or marry.

Conversations here are ALWAYS challenging. ????????????

[wwest5829]

On 8/28/2021 at 11:24 PM, TC17 said:

I think there are three issues here.

1) In this culture, the woman expects the man to support them and their family.  In return, you will be cared for in old age.  2)  Buddhism very much encourages you to live in the moment. The now is whatatters most.  The dwelling on the past leads to depression and dwelling on the future leads to anxiety.  

3)  What brings you here, brings thousands of guys here.  So your competition is fierce.  

Good observation.

[Farang99]

On 8/28/2021 at 11:00 PM, Airalee said:

You’re not doing anything wrong….you’re just finally catching on to the way things are here.

The ones who  want a serious relationship are not interested in "butterflies". You sound like the worst kind of sexual predator. If you wanted a steady girl they are not difficult to find, but that seems to be the last thing you want.

[wwest5829]

On 8/29/2021 at 12:24 AM, RichardColeman said:

I met my school teacher, 'normal' wife on-line on Thaifriendly. I met and married her within 4 weeks, happy married with one kiddie now for 6 years. Never asked me for anything other than our family living expenses. Best, considerate and kindest person I ever met.

 

 

I agree that the use of meeting someone online can be positive. Yes, it can also be bad for either a western Farang or a Thai girl. I would never have met Da as I was retired in Chiang Mai and she had a hair salon in Bangkok. Add to the reality that I speak only a few words of Thai and she spoke only a very few words of English. Her gf encouraged her to put a profile on Badoo and, as might be expected the swarm was wanting naked photos. Ha! A benefit for me as I did not approach in that manner. I flew down to Bangkok where a Thai female friend of mine from CM agreed to join us for dinner and help translate. That was four years ago and we married here in CM in April this year. The best girl I have ever had in my life. She, I and her 16 year old Daughter seem to be very happy as a family. One might be tempted to shake their head at the 26 year difference in our ages but … keep in mind I am 74 (and getting younger every year in Thailand with my Thai girl!).

[Charlie Halliday]

Met my Thai wife when I was 26 and she was 21 and still happy together 30 years later and 3 grown up kids. The only difference between her and my English girlfriend of 4 years is her temper!! My English girlfriend was incredibly gentle whereas my Thai wife can be quite be quite feisty when she's tired..but that aside I don't see any difference between English and Thai women. Sounds like you're seeing hookers not regular women.. If that's the case then you're always gonna be cheated and lied to. They're mentally and physically damaged as would any hooker in any country be. Best way to meet a nice Thai partner is thru introduction from someone you know and trust. Same as anywhere else in  the world. 

[bkk6060]

I much prefer one hour but if wanting extended company always follow the 3 day rule.

Usually bored by that time anyway.

[BTB1977]

Once the get out of you what they want. Or see there is no financial benefit in the future(Money, free trips, gold or what ever) they move on to the next bigger and better sucker. There is some dumb U tube blogger who just got dumped.  She didn't see any new car or house from this cheap guy . And moved on. He was always looking for cheap hotels and sleeping in his van. And he is milking I'm a victim on his blog . Very pathetic in my opinion.  

Edited August 30, 2021 by BTB1977

[peleid]

There are good and bad ladies all over the world. My advice is start as just friends and see where it goes

[thurien]

Mate...lazy Sunday afternoon - so you thought t'yourself "I'll scribble sum'thing just for fun..."

Edited August 30, 2021 by thurien

[Andre0720]

The word 'love' is used often here. So in Thai culture, it certainly has a definition of some kind, but not 'romantic love'.

In Thailand, 3 driving forces at play all the time:

-Generate money

-Taking care and being taken care of.

-Saving face.

 

Perhaps taking care of someone while getting money for it, is how love is felt here.

If you did not provide a salary, as they call it, the 'taking care' was not fulfilled, so their kind of love can fade away quickly.

[wombat]

On 8/28/2021 at 10:36 PM, John2021 said:

 this recurring thing, they finish with you and after a day or so (or during) they have another man

they are following my grandmothers sage advice...the quickest way to get over a relationship is to get under another one.

[bunnydrops]

3 hours ago, theonetrueaussie said:

I think this is the thing most westerners fail to acknowledge here though, You met her and quickly got married. Most guys including myself want to date for at least a year or more before we get married and the thing with most thai girls is if you are not married then many consider themselves single still. 

I understand your point. But maybe in this case I thought like a Thai. I dated many girls for as long as 5 years. I really didn't want to get married. But as I got into my 60s, I decided that it was time and was looking for someone for that purpose.

[Tropposurfer]

On 8/29/2021 at 7:38 AM, Tarteso said:

These girls are doing, literally, the same things like you do…. ????

Touche'

[Sticky Rice Balls]

1 hour ago, jomtienisgood said:

Conversations here are ALWAYS challenging. ????????????

Where u from?

Whats your job?

How long you stay thailand?

You ever have thai gf??

(Still waiting to introduce myself and state my name)

[spidermike007]

According to single friends of mine, meeting in person is infinitely better, than online. First of all you know what you are getting! Second, the women you meet on the street, in a store, or a restaurant, at a party, are not hunting for men. They are not scavenging for a salary. Many have professions, and many are higher functioning gals, than alot of the online gals, and they are not as needy as many of the online gals.

 

Many of the gals online seem to do it full time. That is their life, they know every trick in the book, they hop from one to the other, until they find a guy who is willing to spill, bit time. And with the neediness of many Western men, you will have alot of competition for the pretty, younger ones. 

 

So, that would be the first step. Be aggressive, and assertive. And use humor. That women love to laugh and love a playful guy, who does not take himself too seriously. Thai women are generally friendly, especially if you speak some Thai. You will not get shut down like in the West. They may not be interested, but they will be polite about it. And it is a numbers game. A good friend of mine, who lived in the world's greatest gold mine for women, Bangkok, told me he methodically approached at least ten women a day, and got at least three of their phone numbers, or line contacts. He kept busy, and usually had a big smile on his face. Bangkok is unique. There are a ridiculous number of gorgeous women there. 

 

Lastly, do not get hung up on them, emotionally. Have some fun. Get to know them. Take your time. Always remember, if it is good, it is only going to get better. If there are problems, they will reveal themselves over time. Time is your ally. It is rarely their ally. They are usually trying to step up the timetable. We need to push back. We need to assert control. We need to be honest, and let them know we are not interested in an immediate relationship. Something might develop, but if you are in a hurry, I am NOT YOUR GUY. An environment like this allows us to set boundaries, and take our time. Take advantage of that. Be a man. Step up. Pay tribute to the gender. Refuse to lay down anymore. Refuse to be a doormat. Refuse to check your cajones at the door. 

 

I have so many friends, who come here, and from the very start, make the same mistakes they made back in the West. Except here, they do not need to make those mistakes. The environment does not dictate that they behave like lambs. Many do not know, or realize that, or they succumb to "force of habit". Every ship needs a captain. If the man is not willing to be the captain of the ship, the woman will take over, here in Thailand. Most women here seem to want a strong man. But, if they end up with a wimp, they will take over. They have to. Someone needs to be the captain!

 

Time allows clarity. Never, ever move too quickly. That is the undoing of most of these guys. Be like Bond. be a real man. Man up. Do yourself proud.

Edited August 30, 2021 by spidermike007