What happens to my child if both parents die?

[jack71]

Im having some health issues and was thinking if I were to pre-decease my wife and then later she dies of something... what happens to our child? Chatted with my wife last night and we both agreed that its not good if our child would be sent to her parents in Isan. Its definitely not in the best interests of our child if this happens. My wife also has a problem with her health but not as significant as my issue. 

 

So what can legally be done to cover this situation? We know a family nearby that we think would be suitable for our child but havent talked to them yet.

 

Obviously all this is not an issue right now as we are both alive but if something were to happen then its a different story... 

 

Does this sort of thing go in a Will or what? All I want to do is to protect my child and ensure he is never sent to the in laws to live. 

 

Any opinions are appreciated

 

 

[Adumbration]

How old is the child?

 

Boy or Girl?

 

If you and your spouse are ill why do you not already have wills in place?

 

Do you have relatives back in your home country who are suitable to care for the child?

 

Soooo much more information required to provide any sort of worthwhile answer.

Edited May 6, 2022 by Adumbration

[Kenny202]

I am in a similar but different situation where as my 6yo child has been raised by me since birth, his mother gone when he was about 3 months. Last 5 years have raised him with my gf and have no wish for him to go to his birth mother should I pass...given only reason she would want him if some financial benefit to her. I have provided for his later life in my will and the rest to my gf who for all intents and purposes is his mother, and the plan is she will take care of him. I have even made mention of this in my will tho I doubt it carries much weight. I believe the child has a fair bit of say in it as well. Will follow this thread with interest

[Kenny202]

4 minutes ago, Adumbration said:

How old is the child?

 

Boy or Girl?

 

If you and your spouse are ill why do you not already have wills in place?

 

Do you have relatives back in your home country who are suitable to care for the child?

 

Soooo much more information required to provide any sort of worthwhile answer.

Would u know the answer even if he provided you with this mostly irrelevant information? Do you think the man hasn't considered if he has suitable relatives overseas and he is clearly garnering information to make a will. What is the point of your rhetorical post? To admonish someone as if they were a child? Far too many like this on Asean now. Why reply if u clearly don't know?

[Adumbration]

17 minutes ago, Kenny202 said:

Would u know the answer even if he provided you with this mostly irrelevant information? Do you think the man hasn't considered if he has suitable relatives overseas and he is clearly garnering information to make a will. What is the point of your rhetorical post? To admonish someone as if they were a child? Far too many like this on Asean now. Why reply if u clearly don't know?

Oh...please....

 

Advice, especially specific advice, cannot be given in the absence of facts.

 

OP good luck for the future, however you can sit back and relax now because @Kenny202 is in your corner.  And, quiet obviously, he knows everything.

[kwonitoy]

I'm 64 with a 10 year old son, single parent recently moved back to Canada.

Once I got settled I went to a lawyer and made a will 

One of the items is the care of my son should I pass on. The ex-wife has no claim to him any longer.

After discussing it with my Brother and his wife who were more than willing to be nominated as his legal guardians if I'm no longer capable.

Not just death but an accident rendering me incapable, dementia, medical emergency etc.

My estate will be used in his upbringing and passed on to him when he is 25.

Makes me sleep better at night.

 

Talk it over with your wife and whoever you would like to see raise your child and make a will accordingly.

[Kenny202]

1 minute ago, kwonitoy said:

I'm 64 with a 10 year old son, single parent recently moved back to Canada.

Once I got settled I went to a lawyer and made a will 

One of the items is the care of my son should I pass on. The ex-wife has no claim to him any longer.

Do you mind if I ask how you guaranteed his natural mother has no claim? I am currently going down the custody path and was wondering if I get full custody...in the event of my death if it gives me the right to nominate a parental successor or if parental rights will revert back to his natural mother

 

[Kenny202]

16 minutes ago, Adumbration said:

Oh...please....

 

Advice, especially specific advice, cannot be given in the absence of facts.

 

OP good luck for the future, however you can sit back and relax now because @Kenny202 is in your corner.  And, quiet obviously, he knows everything.

Yeah right lol...and quite obviously you know nothing

[JeffersLos]

1 hour ago, jack71 said:

never sent to the in laws to live. 

Did their daughter not turn out alright? 

[kwonitoy]

1 minute ago, Kenny202 said:

Do you mind if I ask how you guaranteed his natural mother has no claim? I am currently going down the custody path and was wondering if I get full custody...in the event of my death if it gives me the right to nominate a parental successor or if parental rights will revert back to his natural mother

 

I'm have 100% Parental Powers as awarded by the Thai Family Court

My lawyer looked at the Thai custody papers and said they are adequate for Canadian law to prove my custody

My ex-wife is a convicted felon having served 9 years in prison who cannot get a visa to enter Canada. I have left a notification with the Canadian embassy in Bangkok of her status of being 

1. A convicted drug felon

2. Legal ex -wife

3. My status as having full Parental Powers.

All documented of course

 

My son and I live in Canada, and are both Canadian citizens.

12 time zones of separation from her are about right.

I will never travel to Thailand in my lifetime, my son my wish to do so when he is an adult, up to him.

 

 

[Kenny202]

1 minute ago, kwonitoy said:

I'm have 100% Parental Powers as awarded by the Thai Family Court

My lawyer looked at the Thai custody papers and said they are adequate for Canadian law to prove my custody

My ex-wife is a convicted felon having served 9 years in prison who cannot get a visa to enter Canada. I have left a notification with the Canadian embassy in Bangkok of her status of being 

1. A convicted drug felon

2. Legal ex -wife

3. My status as having full Parental Powers.

All documented of course

 

My son and I live in Canada, and are both Canadian citizens.

12 time zones of separation from her are about right.

I will never travel to Thailand in my lifetime, my son my wish to do so when he is an adult, up to him.

 

 

Thanks for that. Im a bit younger than you but will be about the same age when mine is 10yo. Good luck with it all

[swm59nj]

First I’m sorry to hear that you and your wife have health issues .  I wish you all the best.  
I don’t have any advice to give you personally, just a suggestion. 
I would speak to a reputable lawyer for advice.  This way you can get a definitive legal answer and you do it properly.

I know talking to a lawyer and having them handle it would involve cost.  But it sounds like you are good parents and thinking of the best for your child.  And you want to make sure the situation is handled correctly. 

[brianthainess]

11 hours ago, jack71 said:

we both agreed that its not good if our child would be sent to her parents in Isan.

So what do you both think would be good for your child ? 

 

11 hours ago, jack71 said:

We know a family nearby that we think would be suitable for our child but havent talked to them yet.

What if they die ?

[brianthainess]

11 hours ago, Kenny202 said:

I am in a similar but different situation where as my 6yo child has been raised by me since birth, his mother gone when he was about 3 months. Last 5 years have raised him with my gf and have no wish for him to go to his birth mother should I pass...given only reason she would want him if some financial benefit to her. I have provided for his later life in my will and the rest to my gf who for all intents and purposes is his mother, and the plan is she will take care of him. I have even made mention of this in my will tho I doubt it carries much weight. I believe the child has a fair bit of say in it as well. Will follow this thread with interest

I had a friend who was in a similar situation when he died, his sister came to Thailand, snubbed the GF at the funeral, his son was 10 and always called her mummy, the son had a UK passport and the sister took off to the UK with him, without telling his GF, she never even got the chance to say goodbye. 

[Kenny202]

Just now, brianthainess said:

I had a friend who was in a similar situation when he died, his sister came to Thailand, snubbed the GF at the funeral, his son was 10 and always called her mummy, the son had a UK passport and the sister took off to the UK with him, without telling his GF, she never even got the chance to say goodbye. 

I think more often than not, anyone other than the natural mother needs a letter form said birth mother to take the child on a plane and out of Thailand. usually they will also follow up with a phone call to the mother before allowing you to leave. Maybe she was lucky

[scorecard]

2 hours ago, swm59nj said:

First I’m sorry to hear that you and your wife have health issues .  I wish you all the best.  
I don’t have any advice to give you personally, just a suggestion. 
I would speak to a reputable lawyer for advice.  This way you can get a definitive legal answer and you do it properly.

I know talking to a lawyer and having them handle it would involve cost.  But it sounds like you are good parents and thinking of the best for your child.  And you want to make sure the situation is handled correctly. 

Agree, but please do some research to find a reputable, honest and knowledgeable lawyer before you go down this path. It could take some time to find an appropriate lawyer but worthwhile.

 

I would ask a few lawyers to give you the name and phone no. of any similar cases they have handed, call these folks, get their comments and ask if they would use that lawyer again, if needed. Maybe even ask if you could meet them for a coffee etc., to talk further.  

 

Further, If you post the location maybe other members in your area might share any info. they have re local lawyers.

 

This is an important issue and I admire you for wanting to get it set up well for the future. Good luck.

[bert bloggs]

My sons father died when he was a baby, when my then gf and i were going to the UK to live we had to have the fathers death certificate to take him , you cant just take a child out of the country

[bert bloggs]

If you are in Pattaya area  my wifes best friend is a lawyer and she has a company  if you need help just send a message

Edited May 7, 2022 by bert bloggs

[RichardColeman]

Personally speaking, my wife's daughter (18) would take over her care. 

 

However, If we had no family here, I'd take my 6 year old with mum to the UK and let my daughter or son take car of her - might have to get a solicitor to fight her corner to fight immigration, but enough in the will for that

[Tropposurfer]

You can make provision in your will as his biological father, principle legal guardian that he is adopted and parented by someone you name in your will. They do not need to be blood relatives.

As far as I know this is legal in LOS, as it is in my home Commonwealth country (as it is in lots of other nations of the world). You'd need to set this up and have legal documents made up and signed by all parties and kept with your will, copies to all relevant parties and legal supports.

If you have no reliable family to look after the child/children then you can nominate anyone who is adult, of sound mind, reasonable moral standing etc, and who are willing and capable and trustworthy to carry the children until adulthood.

[scorecard]

1 hour ago, bert bloggs said:

If you are in Pattaya area  my wifes best friend is a lawyer and she has a company  if you need help just send a message

But is she / the company experienced in this subject area? And can they share some details of past cases they have handled and the outcomes and is it possible to speak briefly with their previous clients.

 

Hopefully; yes, yes and yes. Good luck.

[scorecard]

1 hour ago, Tropposurfer said:

You can make provision in your will as his biological father, principle legal guardian that he is adopted and parented by someone you name in your will. They do not need to be blood relatives.

As far as I know this is legal in LOS, as it is in my home Commonwealth country (as it is in lots of other nations of the world). You'd need to set this up and have legal documents made up and signed by all parties and kept with your will, copies to all relevant parties and legal supports.

If you have no reliable family to look after the child/children then you can nominate anyone who is adult, of sound mind, reasonable moral standing etc, and who are willing and capable and trustworthy to carry the children until adulthood.

My Thai son has done something similar. He had a daughter to his first wife, wife disappeared, son has cared for his daughter (now early teens) all of her life. 

Five years after first wife disappeard son married second wife, with snd wife 2 more kids and the second wife has, from first day they met agreed that she would give total love, support and guidance to son's first daughter, and she has.

The problem; second wifes' elder brother and sister (both are loud and demanding, expert about everything) have tried many times to get first daughter out of son's house with the usual 'but not the same blood, therefore bad girl'. Son, with his wife present has told them several times that it's not their business and to back off.

Several years back son's second wife suggested they go to a lawyer and get some real advice and then make a solid signed plan for the care of all 3 children if son and wife are deceased.

Result: Son made a will 'all son's assets and future incomes (successful consulting business owned by son and his wife) are to be shared equally by all three kids. Son's wife is deliberately not mentioned in his will.

However when the will was signed and witnessed at the lawyers office son's wife requested that she be allowed to write a small comment on the bottom of the pages, signed by herself, and witnessed by my son and by 2 lawyers. 

Lawyers conferrred quickly and agreed 'unusual but not illegal, the additional statement might not have total standing in a court but it would not be ignored either.

She wrote 'I agree with my husbands intructions in his will and I will ensure all three children are treated equally and all 3 are loved and supported equally until I die. All present signed/witnessed what she had written. (She had already prepared her statement, and at the correct moment she quickly copied it onto the bottom of the will.) 

When son passes away, son's brother in law and sister in law are in for a rude shock, they both think they are experts at everything and they believe that automatically (on son's death) that they (beause they are older than son's wife) will inherit everything.

Further if needed the oldest daughter (soon to reach majority) could (on her own behalf and on behalf of her isisters) ban them from setting foot on the land/in the family house. 

In regard to who would take care of the children, a long-term friend (married couple, 1 kid) have signed a document that they will love and support the 3 kids 24/7 until they each reach majority. 

 

Edited May 7, 2022 by scorecard

[bert bloggs]

30 minutes ago, scorecard said:

But is she / the company experienced in this subject area? And can they share some details of past cases they have handled and the outcomes and is it possible to speak briefly with their previous clients.

 

Hopefully; yes, yes and yes. Good luck.

I havnt a clue if you want the tel no you can phone yourself, she did our will  and her company deals with many falangs and Thai's. 

[Mavideol]

just surprised by the original poster, with so many good advice and,  not one answer from him

[scorecard]

59 minutes ago, bert bloggs said:

I havnt a clue if you want the tel no you can phone yourself, she did our will  and her company deals with many falangs and Thai's. 

Sounds very promising.

 

Note: I am not suggesting or wanting to interfere with your private situation in any way. Clearly not my business. Just as a personal aside, always hoping that lawyers are selected/used with great caution, no matter whether it's a Thai or a farng lawyer in Thailand. And in reality, used with caution in any country. 

5 hours ago, brianthainess said:

So what do you both think would be good for your child ? 

 

What if they die ?

Could be true, of course, however in subjects like this there's no perfect watertight plan.

 

Plan as best you can, then adjust the plan when and if needed.

[Liverpool Lou]

16 hours ago, jack71 said:

So what can legally be done to cover this situation? We know a family nearby that we think would be suitable for our child but havent talked to them yet.

You discuss it with that family and get their agreement, then you specify the arrangement in your wills, appointing them as guardians.

[khunPer]

18 hours ago, jack71 said:

So what can legally be done to cover this situation?

Make a last will - both you OP and the mother - and leave money or assets for the child's living costs and education...????

[scorecard]

8 hours ago, Liverpool Lou said:

You discuss it with that family and get their agreement, then you specify the arrangement in your wills, appointing them as guardians.

And get some form of document signed by the prostective guardians. The document should lay out, as simple as possible the scope of what you're asking them to do, if needed. Their authorities and some details of where needed funds will be available and some form of remuneration for the guardians. All signed by all parties and witnessed.