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When you had a terminal diagnosis


georgegeorgia

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Luckily I have been given the all clear in regards to my liver pain,but I wonder about guys that didn't 

 

How many of you have lived through a terminal illness ,such as Cancer ?

How did you cope with this diagnosis and treatment ,and I mean that mentally

 

Has your attitude on life changed 

What about you guys with stage 4 of something eg prostate has your attitude to health changed ?

 

Eg Chissoris of the liver ?

Do you still continue to drink alcohol?

 

 And even if you have been diagnosed with a "fatty liver" that is not something to not be concerned about ,you can still be terminal later in life 

 

Do you take care now much better than before in regards to nutrition and exercise 

 

Ironically when I was working as a wardsman/bed pusher in the hospital there used to be a few bodybuilder types come through with prostate cancer as they used a lot of testereone which apparently made them higher cancer risk so I remember the doctor putting them on estrogens and some refused 

 

If you were going through the cancer treatment did you become more spiritual?

 

Do you now cope with dying much better ?

Luckily in Australia we now have the legal ability to go with euthanasia

 

I hope there is no one going through stage 4 cancer here but if you are please share your experiences

 

 

Edited by georgegeorgia
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Diagnosed with COPD 3 weeks ago. Puts a lot of things in perspective. I stopped smoking weed which I love doing. I had stopped 20 years and started again for a few months after legalization. Now the party is over. Got out of hospital y-day after 10 days in with a fever of 39 and a pneumonia. Can die easily of any lung infection, so yeah... my life took a left turn and I am still trying to figure out how to deal with it, I hope you have better luck and support system than I do when your turn comes.

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30 minutes ago, Pouatchee said:

Diagnosed with COPD 3 weeks ago. Puts a lot of things in perspective. I stopped smoking weed which I love doing. I had stopped 20 years and started again for a few months after legalization. Now the party is over. Got out of hospital y-day after 10 days in with a fever of 39 and a pneumonia. Can die easily of any lung infection, so yeah... my life took a left turn and I am still trying to figure out how to deal with it, I hope you have better luck and support system than I do when your turn comes.

how long have you lived in thailand and where ? if i may ask. 

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You actually ask rather too many questions to keep track of, georgegeorgia! ????????......but they are all questions to which I can relate to and to which I feel inclined to respond.

 

I have yet to know what precisely it is that will see me 'shuffle off this mortal coil', but know it is waiting to be given a name soon, I regret to venture,  by doctors I'm reluctant to meet anyway, anytime soon. My guess is cirrhosis of the liver. (Does anyone know how to spell 'cirrhosis'? Tbh, I think even dictionaries just guess...????) But my present awareness of this likely outcome reminds me of things I learned some time ago. 

 

My mother died of terminal pancreatic cancer in 2010. My own 'inner takeaway' of the mentality of my mother at that time,  based on both research then, but mostly intuition, was that there is a profound shift in 'normal mindset' to 'the other'. Or........'another'.  By which I mean an opening of perceptions that are not consistent with the natural, usually unconscious, 'I'm alive, and will continue to be so for a period ahead long enough to cause no concern at present' mentality of the non-terminally-diagnosed.

So a shift from that norm to....often poetically termed.....the abyss. 

 

When that happens, things will take their course inexorably, and will almost certainly be, oddly enough, a blessing. 

 

What I describe may appear to have a very grim tone to it, but in fact, none was intended, for there really is no 'grimness' to it....actually.

 

????????

 

 

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I'm back in the UK with suspected prostate cancer, had an MRI in Bangkok in December, insurance company refused to pay out, so back to the UK for NHS final diagnosis and treatment/surgery. Luckily, the cancer is still within my prostate, so a 'cure' should be possible.  However, we all have an "end-by" date.  Even if the cancer returns in later years, the medical stats suggest that I should have perhaps another 20 years which is fine for me.

 

But this serious illness has made me reconsider my plans for after surgery/treatment.  I could sit on a beach somewhere and relax.  That's not for me!  I prefer to use my time, whether it be 5 years or 20 years to help others, particularly as regards education in developing countries.  And if my time is near, then I have no plans to suffer.  It will be party time with a bottle of helium gas!!

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5 hours ago, Pouatchee said:

Diagnosed with COPD 3 weeks ago. Puts a lot of things in perspective. I stopped smoking weed which I love doing. I had stopped 20 years and started again for a few months after legalization. Now the party is over. Got out of hospital y-day after 10 days in with a fever of 39 and a pneumonia. Can die easily of any lung infection, so yeah... my life took a left turn and I am still trying to figure out how to deal with it, I hope you have better luck and support system than I do when your turn comes.

I was diagnosed with COPD after an extended COVID bout. After another month of gasping for breath I changed doctors. The new doctor ceased all the medications, gave me a course of antibiotics and cleared up the case of pneumonia that had been plaguing me for months.

 

It changed my life. It gave me the scare I needed to quit smoking, cut drinking out almost completely, and while I always lived and ate  healthy I exercise with a vengeance now.

 

Sorry to hear your diagnosis stuck.

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I'll reply to this because I already posted a few times about my cancer.

 

 

How many of you have lived through a terminal illness ,such as Cancer ?

How did you cope with this diagnosis and treatment ,and I mean that mentally

 

I had prostate cancer. The day I found out I had to take the day off work, but after that just carried on- life sucks anyway, and it was just another bad thing happened to me.

 

Has your attitude on life changed 

What about you guys with stage 4 of something eg prostate has your attitude to health changed ?

 

Attitude didn't really change.

Made no difference to my life style up till I had the op.

 

 

Do you take care now much better than before in regards to nutrition and exercise 

 

No.

 

If you were going through the cancer treatment did you become more spiritual?

 

No.

 

Do you now cope with dying much better ?

Luckily in Australia we now have the legal ability to go with euthanasia

 

We all die, sooner or later.

I've been DNR for many years now. Since the op ruined my life, I'm just waiting for the end.

Is euthanasia available in Aussie on demand, or only if in agony with end stage disease?

 

I hope there is no one going through stage 4 cancer here but if you are please share your experiences

 

Since the op stopped me dying of cancer, the complications of the op have ruined my life, and if I could go back, I'd have the hormones instead.

The treatments available now are far less likely to have same side effects, but not available to me.

 

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6 hours ago, n00dle said:

I was diagnosed with COPD after an extended COVID bout. After another month of gasping for breath I changed doctors. The new doctor ceased all the medications, gave me a course of antibiotics and cleared up the case of pneumonia that had been plaguing me for months.

 

It changed my life. It gave me the scare I needed to quit smoking, cut drinking out almost completely, and while I always lived and ate  healthy I exercise with a vengeance now.

 

Sorry to hear your diagnosis stuck.

Hi Noodle. I appreciate the empathy. As they say,'takes one to know one.' I just wonder one thing, my doctor and my research indicate that COPD is incurable. I am more than happy for you if this is not the case. Keep enjoying life and make the best of it. I am not even 60 yet... 

 

10 hours ago, norfolkandchance said:

I'm looking forward to the weekend. Jeez.

Dude, good for you. But unless you have something to share that is in contribution to the topic, why don't you abstain?

 

I realised coming out of the hospital that finding a support group for foreigners is not that easy. So unless you are here to offer support, your attempt at humor is not welcome. At least by me.

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1 hour ago, Pouatchee said:

Hi Noodle. I appreciate the empathy. As they say,'takes one to know one.' I just wonder one thing, my doctor and my research indicate that COPD is incurable. I am more than happy for you if this is not the case. Keep enjoying life and make the best of it. I am not even 60 yet... 

 

Dude, good for you. But unless you have something to share that is in contribution to the topic, why don't you abstain?

 

I realised coming out of the hospital that finding a support group for foreigners is not that easy. So unless you are here to offer support, your attempt at humor is not welcome. At least by me.

My apologies if I caused offence. Instead of the OP posting in the Community Pub section it would have been better in the Health and Medicine section. To this I would have not responded. That is all.

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23 minutes ago, norfolkandchance said:

My apologies if I caused offence. Instead of the OP posting in the Community Pub section it would have been better in the Health and Medicine section. To this I would have not responded. That is all.

Good point. Moderator should address this issue. Where is mod?

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Due to language difficulties/misunderstandings/technical terms I was told I had stage 4 cancer........turned out to level 4 cancer.....which then turned out to be a benign lesion ........bit of a roller coaster ride to say the least...........maybe when the next one comes along I'll be a little bit better prepared mentally.

 

Knocked me sideways when I was told I can tell you

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Perspective is a good thing to have. When my mom passed at a relatively young age, I started counting the remainder of my life in months, rather than years. As in, perhaps I have 300 months to go. It is far too vague to think of it in terms of years. It just does not mean much. 300 months means I do not have enough time remaining to wait in line at a parking garage, a post office, or a restaurant. Nor, do I have time to tolerate much in the way of nonsense. 

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As I've got older (now 80) I've become paranoid about my health, to the point where it's probably ruining whatever time I have left. I'm going for an ultrasound for my prostate on Sunday, and I already fear the worst even before I get the results. I just dread any long term illness where the price of private healthcare takes me to bankruptcy.

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41 minutes ago, giddyup said:

As I've got older (now 80) I've become paranoid about my health, to the point where it's probably ruining whatever time I have left. I'm going for an ultrasound for my prostate on Sunday, and I already fear the worst even before I get the results. I just dread any long term illness where the price of private healthcare takes me to bankruptcy.

Even if you come down with prostate cancer, usually your life can continue as normal for many years.  Many older men die with prostate cancer, but not FROM prostate cancer.

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4 minutes ago, simon43 said:

Even if you come down with prostate cancer, usually your life can continue as normal for many years.  Many older men die with prostate cancer, but not FROM prostate cancer.

I guess it depends on how advanced it is when you're diagnosed.

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I have Stage 4 Prostate Cancer. Will likely be undergoing chemo in the next few months. with prognosis of extending life for another few years before the end of life process. I am not in fear of death and have a leaning towards spirituality (based upon Vedanta) as opposed to abrahamic religion/s.

 

I had bought a house in Pattaya for wife and I to retire, but cannot afford to live in Thailand because of cost of ongoing medical care / medicines. When I have died wife will move back to our house in Thailand to enjoy her Oz pension and extended family.

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I was DX-ed with advanced cancer in BKK a few years back.  Luckily,  I could return to my home country where I hadn't been in for 10 years, for 2 years of treatments.
Thanks to a lovely member of Thaivisa for the advice.

Im now cancer free 5year+.    

I did change my life?
I exercise , gave up booze and changed my diet ( to a veggie) . Im happy as can be, and grateful for being back home in LOS. Life is gift and Im happy about my lifestyle choices.    

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On 3/17/2023 at 3:40 PM, Pouatchee said:

Hi Noodle. I appreciate the empathy. As they say,'takes one to know one.' I just wonder one thing, my doctor and my research indicate that COPD is incurable. I am more than happy for you if this is not the case. Keep enjoying life and make the best of it. I am not even 60 yet... 

 

Dude, good for you. But unless you have something to share that is in contribution to the topic, why don't you abstain?

 

I realised coming out of the hospital that finding a support group for foreigners is not that easy. So unless you are here to offer support, your attempt at humor is not welcome. At least by me.

I had cancer in London. I was never offered the advice to join a support group by any health person involved in my case, either before or after the op, nor did any organisation that purports to assist cancer sufferers offer me any assistance.

Basically, other than the actual medical treatment I was on my own.

 

Was I worse off for not joining a group- I don't know.

 

If it's that bad in London, I can't imagine it being much better elsewhere.

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On 3/17/2023 at 11:18 PM, BritManToo said:

At 67 I no longer care if I live or die. I've had my life, no need to extend it any more with expensive and/or unpleasant medical treatments. 

 

I accept death when it comes! 

If I'm anything to go by, when you get to 77 you'll want to die.

I really hate being old, and forgetful. The idea of being imprisoned living in one of those ghastly "rest homes" and being parked in front of daytime tv because they don't have enough staff to care for the patients properly fills me with horror.

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On 3/17/2023 at 9:29 PM, simon43 said:

Even if you come down with prostate cancer, usually your life can continue as normal for many years.  Many older men die with prostate cancer, but not FROM prostate cancer.

Hopefully that is true with better treatments available than I had. Nothing about my life is "normal" since my op.

I only went for the op because I couldn't pee properly anymore. Now I pee too easily, if you know what I mean.

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5 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Basically, other than the actual medical treatment I was on my own.

 

Was I worse off for not joining a group- I don't know.

I asked one of my doctors why I had so much phlegm. She told me not to worry about it. I really was suspicious so I did research and the symptoms resembled COPD. I had to ask another doctor to set me up with a pulmonologist to do tests. Turns out I was right. God damned self diagnosis... why on earth couldn't one of my many doctors pick it up before?

 

I believe support groups can help and I wish I had one. Sometimes we have little things flare up and we don't know what it is. A support group has people who have been there and done that and sometimes they can help us before something bad happens and catch it in time. Right now, I don't know what is next and my so called health experts are far from helpful. When will I become a stage 3? What can I do to prevent it? ... all the normal questions that don't get answered in hospitals...

 

 

NB  thaibeachlovers... I used a sad emoticon because I legitimately feel for you... and yes I know what you mean. I gotta get up 7 times a night to go to the john...

Edited by Pouatchee
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I'm a walking billing machine for the medical profession.

Chronic bronchitis (COPD), chronic kidney disease, largest prostate my urologist had ever seen, a fatty liver and gout. Just about to have an operation to remove cataracts and I have been totally deaf in one ear since my teens.

Life is great. I eat what I want.  ???? ????I drink what I want ????and do what I want. ????

Quality of life is the important thing.

My son died aged 38 from untreatable brain tumours. I watched him die a slow, horrible death in a hospice where he could not do anything and had to wear nappies.

Not for me.

DNR registered and carry an organ donor card. (Heart is 100% OK).

All my friends know that I will not die a slow, painful death. 'Nuff said.

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Carpe Diem

 

Live and enjoy life every day.

IMHO if you would change your life after you are diagnosed with sometime terminal, why don't you change your life anyhow. Because we all won't live forever.

 

I am not exactly healthy. When Covid started I asked my diabetes doctor if I have a higher risk than others. He looked at me and told me: You are high risk!

Ok, accepted.

I didn't get Covid for a long time but finally I made a test one day (because I had to, not because I was feeling sick) and I had Covid. And then obviously I thought about the high-risk comment from the doctor. And what did I do? I just continued with my life. No panic, don't worry, I enjoyed my life until now and we all will die one day.

I didn't die. I wasn't even sick. A week later the Covid test was negative again.

 

Now my diagnosis is: Your lifestyle is not healthy. If you would do A and B and don't do C and D then you will likely live longer.

A new diagnosis could be: You have XZY and it is likely you won't live for another year.

What's the difference?

And if I know that I will die soon, is that a reason to do all the health things and avoid all the bad things? Or is it a reason to eat cake and ice-cream and have some drinks and enjoy (as much as possible) life until the end?

 

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1 hour ago, OneMoreFarang said:

And if I know that I will die soon, is that a reason to do all the health things and avoid all the bad things? Or is it a reason to eat cake and ice-cream and have some drinks and enjoy (as much as possible) life until the end?

I am not afraid of death, I do not believe in God... So if death is anything like general anesthesia then I welcome it as the BIG SLEEP when the time comes. I mostly worry about the suffering and the suffering I will cause to my loved one. Just because we have health issues doesn't mean we shouldn't try to live a bit healthier. I honestly don't feel like alcohol lately, yet I splurged with my wife and had a very big brunch at the Hilton the other day. When I am really critical, then I will live like there is no tomorrow. Until then, a little restraint doesn't hurt. I am only 57 and I have quite a resume of op's and I have hypertension and COPD. Wondering which one will get me first. Tuesday I am getting general anesthesia for an MRI because I am claustrophobic and I likely need spinal surgery on my neck. So if we want to talk about broken machines I really hate mine and it seems things just seem to be getting better (irony here).

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