Kids who face harsh discipline more likely to develop mental health problems

[onthedarkside]

 

Parents who harshly discipline their young children may be putting them on a path toward lasting mental health symptoms, a new study suggests.

 

Researchers found that among 7,500 children followed from age 3 to 9, about 10% fell into a "high risk" group where mental health symptoms -- ranging from persistent sadness to acting out -- worsened over the years and children whose parents often used harsh discipline, including yelling or physical punishment, were about 50% more likely than their peers to end up in that group.

 

Experts said the findings, published recently in the journal Epidemiology and Psychiatric Sciences, underscore an important reality: Some parents need to learn better strategies for managing young children's behavior.

 

https://www.upi.com/Health_News/2023/04/03/parenting-mental-health-children/9751680272384/

 

[transam]

That's why my generation are all crackers.............

[OneMoreFarang]

Yes, that is a problem.

 

And then there are the parents who allow everything. That is also a problem.

As usual it seems the middle path is the best.

[Scott]

Discipline is not about revenge or dealing with personal anger issues.  In general, it does not need to be physical.  I don't ever recall hitting my kids.  I did, when they were little, physically restrain them, holding them tightly to prevent them from doing something potentially injurious. 

 

If I said no, it meant no.  That was the way it was when they were 1 and that's what it meant when they were 17.   As they got older, a lot of things were up for discussion, but I found it is a lot easier to say no and change it to yes, than to say yes and change it to no.  

 

There were rules, but they were open to amending when necessary.  We ate at the same time and we ate together and we talked or I should say they talked.  I'd find out about their day, their friends and what was going on.  It helped that they were close enough in age to know if someone was telling porkies. 

 

Parents need to understand they have the power with the 'implied threat'.  I remember my oldest putting on his coat to leave the house with friends who were waiting in a car.  I said, "I don't recall you asking if you could go out".  He made some non-committal type response and I told him he couldn't go and he retorted with "What are you going to do"?  I told him that if he walked out that door, he'd find out.   He didn't go and I never told him there wasn't much I could do, but in his mind he conjured up all kinds of things.  That was about the most intense defiance I had.  

 

Kids need to feel like they belong and to belong, you have to have rules. 

[Bkk Brian]

2 hours ago, Scott said:

Discipline is not about revenge or dealing with personal anger issues.  In general, it does not need to be physical.  I don't ever recall hitting my kids.  I did, when they were little, physically restrain them, holding them tightly to prevent them from doing something potentially injurious. 

 

If I said no, it meant no.  That was the way it was when they were 1 and that's what it meant when they were 17.   As they got older, a lot of things were up for discussion, but I found it is a lot easier to say no and change it to yes, than to say yes and change it to no.  

 

There were rules, but they were open to amending when necessary.  We ate at the same time and we ate together and we talked or I should say they talked.  I'd find out about their day, their friends and what was going on.  It helped that they were close enough in age to know if someone was telling porkies. 

 

Parents need to understand they have the power with the 'implied threat'.  I remember my oldest putting on his coat to leave the house with friends who were waiting in a car.  I said, "I don't recall you asking if you could go out".  He made some non-committal type response and I told him he couldn't go and he retorted with "What are you going to do"?  I told him that if he walked out that door, he'd find out.   He didn't go and I never told him there wasn't much I could do, but in his mind he conjured up all kinds of things.  That was about the most intense defiance I had.  

 

Kids need to feel like they belong and to belong, you have to have rules. 

I've had a similar approach. Never had a need for physical punishment. Not when children are brought up correctly. As you say restraining from harming self or others or putting themselves in danger is very different to hitting.

 

Children need to feel safe and secure. Routine, food, love, attention and strong boundaries with a clear consequence should they attempt to break them. Only with that in place do they thrive within a positive environment. Without those boundaries in place and if the "No" is not carried out then kids  learn to thrive on the excitement of breaking rules. That excitement can then transfer to them as they grow up into delinquent behaviour and onward into adulthood.

 

Physical punishment is often carried out by parents who failed to do the basics and now use a quick sharp shock instead. The problem with this approach is learned behaviour that then feeds into their own values, its ok to hit others, after all their parents did it to them. (obviously this is not in all cases)

 

Good parenting is about providing a secure circle of safety that they feel safe and loved within. 

[Tug]

We used to get spanked fairly regularly notice I sad spanked not whipped never with malice ever although I do remember to this day I got it for something I dident do still kinda miffed about that one lol never did hit my kids tho guess I turned out ok???lol

[Chomper Higgot]

4 hours ago, Scott said:

Discipline is not about revenge or dealing with personal anger issues.  In general, it does not need to be physical.  I don't ever recall hitting my kids.  I did, when they were little, physically restrain them, holding them tightly to prevent them from doing something potentially injurious. 

 

If I said no, it meant no.  That was the way it was when they were 1 and that's what it meant when they were 17.   As they got older, a lot of things were up for discussion, but I found it is a lot easier to say no and change it to yes, than to say yes and change it to no.  

 

There were rules, but they were open to amending when necessary.  We ate at the same time and we ate together and we talked or I should say they talked.  I'd find out about their day, their friends and what was going on.  It helped that they were close enough in age to know if someone was telling porkies. 

 

Parents need to understand they have the power with the 'implied threat'.  I remember my oldest putting on his coat to leave the house with friends who were waiting in a car.  I said, "I don't recall you asking if you could go out".  He made some non-committal type response and I told him he couldn't go and he retorted with "What are you going to do"?  I told him that if he walked out that door, he'd find out.   He didn't go and I never told him there wasn't much I could do, but in his mind he conjured up all kinds of things.  That was about the most intense defiance I had.  

 

Kids need to feel like they belong and to belong, you have to have rules. 

Excellent and I agree entirely, especially your last sentence.

 

Like many kids I had my fair share of opportunities to get in trouble, the existence of clear and consistent rules at home helped me navigate those risks safely.

 

Neither I nor my brothers or sisters where ever hit by our parents, but we all absolutely knew what rule was and where the line was drawn.

 

 

[Chomper Higgot]

The article makes no distinction on what constitutes ’harsh discipline’.

 

While they almost certainly come as a pair, physical violence and emotional violence are not the same thing nor do they have the same impact.

 

I doubt anyone can recall the pain of being hit as a child, whether by a parent, sibling, teacher, whoever.

 

But emotionally abusive scaldings leave a scar that lasts. 
 

It’s not uncommon for adults to still wince at the recollection of cruel

words directed at them when they were children.

 

To my mind hitting a child and emotionally abusing a child with scaldings are two different things with very different impacts.

 

The latter, I feel, is far more damaging, yet it is the former that gets the attention.

 

 

Edited April 4, 2023 by Chomper Higgot

[Scott]

5 minutes ago, Chomper Higgot said:

<snipped>

 

I doubt anyone can recall the pain of being hit as a child, whether by a parent, sibling, teacher, whoever.

 

But emotionally abusive scaldings leave a scar that lasts. 
 

It’s not uncommon for adults to still wince at the recollection of cruel words directed at them when they were children.

 

To my mind hitting a child and emotionally abusing a child with scoldings are two different things with very different impacts.

 

The latter, I feel, is far more damaging, yet it is the former that gets the attention.

 

Oh, I remember some physical punishment well and vividly.  Unfortunately, that's all I remember.  I don't have a clue anymore what it was that I did that precipitated it.  

 

Emotionally abusive language is at least as damaging.  I had a close friend growing up who was subjected to outbursts from his mother with such things as, "I wish you were never born."  He was a nice kid.  He died by suicide as a young adult. 

I suspect that physically abusive behavior (not necessarily to be confused with discipline) leads to anger that is manifested outwardly, with abused kids becoming abusive to others.  Emotional abuse I suspect, in the extreme, ends up with self-harm.  

 

[Bkk Brian]

15 minutes ago, Chomper Higgot said:

The article makes no distinction on what constitutes ’harsh discipline’.

 

While they almost certainly come as a pair, physical violence and emotional violence are not the same thing nor do they have the same impact.

 

I doubt anyone can recall the pain of being hit as a child, whether by a parent, sibling, teacher, whoever.

 

But emotionally abusive scaldings leave a scar that lasts. 
 

It’s not uncommon for adults to still wince at the recollection of cruel

words directed at them when they were children.

 

To my mind hitting a child and emotionally abusing a child with scaldings are two different things with very different impacts.

 

The latter, I feel, is far more damaging, yet it is the former that gets the attention.

 

 

Agree although there are 3 distinct categories of abuse that are investigated by professionals. Physical, emotional and sexual. However they can be intertwined and all result in the same emotional scarring that needs intervention. Any or all of those three constitute significant harm although its of course to what degree it occurs in physical and emotional abuse.

 

There is another factor that is not dealt with in the article/study and that is the families socio-economic status. Which can have a bearing on how well you can bring up your children.

[Lee4Life]

If you read the entire article it explains that the study was done by having parents fill out questionnaires. That doesn't exactly instill confidence, it could be off one way or the other by quite a lot. Also, who is to define what constitutes a "mental health problem"?  

[RichardColeman]

Are they trying to say the current snowflake woke generation received harsh discipline due their current mental health issues 

[BusyB]

When your primary care givers as a child become your primary source of fear - physical, emotional, even sexual or otherwise - then you have a serious problem which will follow you into adulthood, and require much courage and painful work to resolve and even approach normal living and relationships. In many cases the damage is permanent.

[thaibeachlovers]

On 4/3/2023 at 8:35 PM, transam said:

That's why my generation are all crackers.............

Indeed. Seriously, my generation had harsh discipline at school and only some of us grew up mentally problematic.

 

I don't see that kids with less harsh discipline are any better mentally than my generation.

[thaibeachlovers]

On 4/4/2023 at 1:03 PM, Chomper Higgot said:

I doubt anyone can recall the pain of being hit as a child, whether by a parent, sibling, teacher, whoever.

Not so. I was a "good" pupil so didn't have much corporal punishment, but I remember every instance of it, and I certainly remember having my nose damaged by a fellow pupil.

[Chomper Higgot]

20 hours ago, RichardColeman said:

Are they trying to say the current snowflake woke generation received harsh discipline due their current mental health issues 

I believe that’s the claim:

 

2 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Indeed. Seriously, my generation had harsh discipline at school and only some of us grew up mentally problematic.

 

I don't see that kids with less harsh discipline are any better mentally than my generation.