I think I completely missed the point about (not) having kids

[richard_smith237]

10 minutes ago, 473geo said:

Richard I was a day boy at a public school and to see the highlight of the month being the 'tuck box' sent by parents did not endear me to the idea of children being boarded in the school environment, just my opinion of 'higher learning' 

Being at home with the family is important - agreed.   

 

But you didn’t board, so why would your opinion be diminished just because some do ?

The children don’t board at the Top Schools in Thailand (Harrow does has some boarders).

And this is certainly not a sufficient reason to send them to a far inferior establishment. 

 

 

10 minutes ago, 473geo said:

Today I have been making oatmeal biscuit mix with my 4 year old grand daughter, teaching her how to break eggs into the mix, hopefully it will serve her well, making her own 'tuck box' memories of grandpa ????

Wonderful....   doing as much as we can with our children (and in your case grandchildren) brings rounded and cherished memories...  

 

Some children are lucky enough to have parents (and grandparents) who can give that and provide their children with the best opportunities and happiness they can. 

 

 

This thread seems to provide examples from both sides of that line.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[473geo]

13 minutes ago, richard_smith237 said:

you didn’t board, so why would your opinion be diminished just because some do ?

 I observed their happiness levels, as per the tuck box comment, I was fortunate to be reasonably good at sport, but not interested in education I got away with it, there was a hard road for the less intelligent and non sporting people, that is the basis of my thoughts

[Kwasaki]

3 minutes ago, 473geo said:

 I observed their happiness levels, as per the tuck box comment, I was fortunate to be reasonably good at sport, but not interested in education I got away with it, there was a hard road for the less intelligent and non sporting people, that is the basis of my thoughts

All too a bit heavy here with me I tried to be a good father in my way and whatever my kid's achievements were in their lives were down to them IMHO dame as I lived my life. 

[richard_smith237]

3 hours ago, BritManToo said:

I've never seen any evidence that a good education gives a good life.

I have, numerous times...  

The vast majority of everyone I know with a university education seems to have a better life than those I know without.... but that depends on you perspective of ‘good life’.... 

 

I remember speaking with my father about this...  suggesting that those friends who remained in the village working at the factory look happy and content - his answer was very clear, there was no way I would have ever have been content settling for that.

 

Happiness is individual of course, but opportunity is key and with greater education comes greater opportunity when all other factors are equal (i.e family wealth, connections, location etc).

 

3 hours ago, BritManToo said:

And what if the kids are no good at school?

Then they are no good at school... all you can do is give them the best opportunity so that informed choices are made. 

Sending kids to a rubbish school when there is an better option is selling them short. 

 

3 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Forcing them to go will make them hate you and hate their life.

Agreed, its their choice - give them the best opportunities to make that not only an informed choice, but one that is in their hands... (i.e if they go to a rubbish school they may not have the choice to go to Uni because their schooling was so poor).

An average kid will do much better in a better school than an average kid in a poorer school, and thus the better school opens up more opportunity. 

 

 

[richard_smith237]

14 minutes ago, Kwasaki said:

All too a bit heavy here with me I tried to be a good father in my way and whatever my kid's achievements were in their lives were down to them IMHO dame as I lived my life. 

Valid points... We obviously don't have to sacrifice ourselves completely...

I believe it is important for us to live and enjoy our own lives too...  When we as parents are happier and relaxed, our family life is a happier and relaxed and we as parents are happier and relaxed. 

 

I still do plenty of the things I want to do.. sports, beers with friends etc.....  

 

It is very fortunate that I take great enjoyment with being with my family so most of the things I want to do is with them... But there is still plenty of time I have to myself. 

 

 

All we can do is our best....    

 

The point I want to make here is that some of the comments suggest its not worth providing the best because our kids may drop out and / or may not even like us in the end...  It is perhaps these attitudes which caused these situations in the first place.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Kwasaki]

29 minutes ago, richard_smith237 said:

Valid points... We obviously don't have to sacrifice ourselves completely...

I believe it is important for us to live and enjoy our own lives too...  When we as parents are happier and relaxed, our family life is a happier and relaxed and we as parents are happier and relaxed. 

 

I still do plenty of the things I want to do.. sports, beers with friends etc.....  

 

It is very fortunate that I take great enjoyment with being with my family so most of the things I want to do is with them... But there is still plenty of time I have to myself. 

 

 

All we can do is our best....    

 

The point I want to make here is that some of the comments suggest its not worth providing the best because our kids may drop out and / or may not even like us in the end...  It is perhaps these attitudes which caused these situations in the first place.

Yeah well good call most of the time ???? you are a very thoughtful person.

Be lucky. ????

Edited May 12, 2023 by Kwasaki

[Mac Mickmanus]

43 minutes ago, richard_smith237 said:

The point I want to make here is that some of the comments suggest its not worth providing the best because our kids may drop out and / or may not even like us in the end...  It is perhaps these attitudes which caused these situations in the first place.

Children do not dislike their Parents for nothing and its nearly always the Parents fault because their Children don't like them .

   The Parents must have done something that caused their kids to dislike them , off spring are usually quite forgiving of bad parenting and its usually extreme things like sexual abuse or violence against the Mother which isn't forgiven and causes the Children to disown the Father .

  

[IvorBiggun2]

35 minutes ago, Mac Mickmanus said:

violence against the Mother

Why the violence against the mother when in fact women are more likely to commit violence against the husband. Google is your friend. 

[Mac Mickmanus]

25 minutes ago, IvorBiggun2 said:

Why the violence against the mother when in fact women are more likely to commit violence against the husband. Google is your friend. 

I just had a look online and Females are more likely to be victims of domestic abuse 

[BritManToo]

2 hours ago, richard_smith237 said:

The point I want to make here is that some of the comments suggest its not worth providing the best because our kids may drop out and / or may not even like us in the end...  It is perhaps these attitudes which caused these situations in the first place.

If you were concerned in providing your kids with the best education, you wouldn't be living in Thailand. 

[Captain Monday]

On 5/11/2023 at 3:04 PM, Lacessit said:

I turned 80 two days ago, and I daresay I still have a lot more of my marbles than someone who posts breeding is a mug's game, thereby indicating his parents were idiots. It has me wondering what genes they passed down to you.

BTW, you forgot the apostrophe in Mug's. Early signs?

My parents are/were much worse than mugs. They are/were racists and conservative right-wingers.

 

 

[bignok]

On 5/12/2023 at 10:36 PM, Mac Mickmanus said:

Children do not dislike their Parents for nothing and its nearly always the Parents fault because their Children don't like them .

   The Parents must have done something that caused their kids to dislike them , off spring are usually quite forgiving of bad parenting and its usually extreme things like sexual abuse or violence against the Mother which isn't forgiven and causes the Children to disown the Father .

  

So no bad kids? 5555

[bignok]

5 minutes ago, Captain Monday said:

My parents are/were much worse than mugs. They are/were racists and conservative right-wingers.

 

 

So you have Thai parents.

[brewsterbudgen]

I left it late and and had my first child, aged 55 in 2015.  Married for the first time a year later.  No regrets but luckily I'm a very youthful father ????????.

[Mac Mickmanus]

27 minutes ago, bignok said:

So no bad kids? 5555

Its not natural or normal for offspring to hate their parents

[473geo]

38 minutes ago, Mac Mickmanus said:

Its not natural or normal for offspring to hate their parents

Any statement followed by 

"It's for your own good" 

Tended to spawn negative feelings ????

[Mac Mickmanus]

2 minutes ago, 473geo said:

Any statement followed by 

"It's for your own good" 

Tended to spawn negative feelings ????

Yes, you may dislike certain elements of your parents behaviour at the time , but I was referring to when you get older and have grown up 

[Captain Monday]

On 5/11/2023 at 3:04 PM, Lacessit said:

I turned 80 two days ago, and I daresay I still have a lot more of my marbles than someone who posts breeding is a mug's game, thereby indicating his parents were idiots. It has me wondering what genes they passed down to you.

BTW, you forgot the apostrophe in Mug's. Early signs?

I never hated them they did a lot for me but do you normally associate with people who think every problem in the world is because somebody has a different skin tone, religion, or was born in a different country than you were?

 

The media is to blame in my opinion. Free speech should have limits.

Edited May 17, 2023 by Captain Monday

[Lacessit]

39 minutes ago, Captain Monday said:

I never hated them they did a lot for me but do you normally associate with people who think every problem in the world is because somebody has a different skin tone, religion, or was born in a different country than you were?

 

The media is to blame in my opinion. Free speech should have limits.

My father thought Hitler had the right idea about Jews. A comparison of the number of Nobel prizes Jewish people have won in the hard sciences, against those won by Muslims, is revealing. Jewish world population, 44 million, Nobel prizes over 200. Muslim world population 1.4 billion, Nobel prizes 2.

 

Religion has a lot to answer for in this world. I don't exclude Christians from that assessment. 50% of Americans still believe in angels.

 

I agree, the media has dumbed down news in pursuit of the bottom line. Rupert Murdoch has been meddling in Australian, British and American politics for decades. He should be in jail.

 

Bigotry, racism and ignorance can only be countered with a decent education, the supply of which seems to be diminishing.

[Roadman]

On 5/11/2023 at 2:54 PM, bignok said:

I agree, have a kid. Don't adopt. When it's 50% your dna it means more. Good luck.

The "blood is thicker than water" old fallacy?

 

Two kids from my 1st marriage all my DNA...oldest my son now at 43 is an outstanding man in every way and proud of him. My daughter lost tragically at 19 years old. 

 

Another daughter fully my DNA now 35 that I have no contact with due to her destructive vindictive mother.  So much for DNA there.

 

Two daughters now 30 and 23 from a Thai father (so none of my DNA) who walked out on them when the youngest was born....another great Thai father. They came with my Thai wife 18 years ago when I brought all 3 of them to New Zealand. I become their Dad at the oldest daughters request when she was a skinny little 13 year old. Guided her and taught her everything I could, and still do as she comes to me rather than her mum for the critical and surprisingly heart affairs decisions in her life. For the 17 years she has been in my life she has given me one of the most amazing relationships I could ever wish for. Possibly as I was broken from the tragic lose of my own daughter. She has graduated university and at 30 owns her own highly lucrative business and has just build her own brand new luxury home. She is an awesome and stunning young woman in every way. There have been many moments that my heart just busts with proudness and love for her. One example in relation to your blood thicker than water comment was at her Auckland university graduation celebration where one of her Thai friends ridiculed the introduction of me as her Dad. Right in front of all her Thai friends she boldly came out with that I was the one who stands by her, guides her and loves her unconditionally and that she is the luckiest person in the world to have me as her Dad. She's wrong thou on being the luckiest person in the world. That's me, as I have been given the greatest gift ever of her and her unconditional love and trust and her calling me Dad....with no DNA input whatso ever.

 

DNA has nothing to do with it. Your ability to build with and love those who want the same does. 

 

Edited June 3, 2023 by Roadman
spelling

[Roadman]

2 minutes ago, Roadman said:

Deleted ...repeat

 

 

Edited June 3, 2023 by Roadman

[sirquest007]

On 6/4/2023 at 3:01 AM, Roadman said:

The "blood is thicker than water" old fallacy?

 

Two kids from my 1st marriage all my DNA...oldest my son now at 43 is an outstanding man in every way and proud of him. My daughter lost tragically at 19 years old. 

 

Another daughter fully my DNA now 35 that I have no contact with due to her destructive vindictive mother.  So much for DNA there.

 

Two daughters now 30 and 23 from a Thai father (so none of my DNA) who walked out on them when the youngest was born....another great Thai father. They came with my Thai wife 18 years ago when I brought all 3 of them to New Zealand. I become their Dad at the oldest daughters request when she was a skinny little 13 year old. Guided her and taught her everything I could, and still do as she comes to me rather than her mum for the critical and surprisingly heart affairs decisions in her life. For the 17 years she has been in my life she has given me one of the most amazing relationships I could ever wish for. Possibly as I was broken from the tragic lose of my own daughter. She has graduated university and at 30 owns her own highly lucrative business and has just build her own brand new luxury home. She is an awesome and stunning young woman in every way. There have been many moments that my heart just busts with proudness and love for her. One example in relation to your blood thicker than water comment was at her Auckland university graduation celebration where one of her Thai friends ridiculed the introduction of me as her Dad. Right in front of all her Thai friends she boldly came out with that I was the one who stands by her, guides her and loves her unconditionally and that she is the luckiest person in the world to have me as her Dad. She's wrong thou on being the luckiest person in the world. That's me, as I have been given the greatest gift ever of her and her unconditional love and trust and her calling me Dad....with no DNA input whatso ever.

 

DNA has nothing to do with it. Your ability to build with and love those who want the same does. 

 

Thank you for sharing ????

 

[BritManToo]

On 5/17/2023 at 4:30 PM, Captain Monday said:

My parents are/were much worse than mugs. They are/were racists and conservative right-wingers.

I don't know anything about my parents politics, I never asked when they were alive, and they didn't offer to tell me. Were they racists? impossible to say as there were no non-whites where we lived (south of England).

Edited August 4, 2023 by BritManToo

[Celsius]

After reading all the replies I will not have any kids

 

 

[bignok]

On 5/11/2023 at 12:38 PM, Celsius said:

Because let me tell you, right now I have money and I don't even know how to spend it. I just need food and a place to live. The rest of the "stuff" I

Give some to me.

[bignok]

5 minutes ago, Celsius said:

After reading all the replies I will not have any kids

 

 

My gf might have one. We would like any support.

[JBChiangRai]

2 minutes ago, bignok said:

My gf might have one. 

I think you might have some input on that, at least I hope it’s you

[JBChiangRai]

I made a lot of mistakes first time around, I was a workaholic and skave to money.

 

second tine around, my kids came first, I was always there for them

[Celsius]

7 minutes ago, bignok said:

Give some to me.

 

Begging for money already?

[bignok]

2 minutes ago, Celsius said:

 

Begging for money already?

You said you don't know what to do with some. I can help.