What would you do in this situation - gambling addicted minor son

[riclag]

On 2/16/2024 at 11:50 AM, FritsSikkink said:

Why on earth do you did you leave your 15 years old alone in another country?

Now you are paying the price of emotional neglecting him. Can't go till April because of work? One of you should go anyhow and sort this out personally.

Spot on!

[alex8912]

On 2/16/2024 at 9:16 AM, itsari said:

Stealing is just enough to say I would tell him to remove him self from the house and find your own way in life.

Moving to USA is not going to change him.

Casinos absolutely everywhere. And what about scratch tickets?!

[alex8912]

6 hours ago, Scouse123 said:

 

 

He's 17 for god’s sake, he can grow up. He has a house, he has an apprenticeship and food on the bloody table and no worries with gas and electric. Obviously, has a smartphone and transportation as well, which puts him a long way in front of many Thais his age.

 

Emotional neglect. I suppose you are one of these that believes in sitting them on naughty steps, and taking their Xbox away for an hour instead of proper punishment. I'd be throwing the Xbox away, and grounding the <deleted>e for two months.

 

This is the pathetic world we live in of molly coddling and not letting them find their way in life, nor allowing them to grow up and face the realities of the world and tough choices in life.

 

The little basket case, is thieving, stealing and lying.

 

He KNOWS what he is doing is wrong.

 

A natural progression down the slippery slope, because he's getting away with it.

 

Thai mothers don't help, so why take a delinquent to the USA to make problems there? What's she going to do? " Give him another stern talking to " 

 

Thai mothers are known for being less than useless with sons.

If everyone had your opinions about 15-17 year olds the planet would be done. Your post is complete garbage. The kid is a mess stealing 26k and 5 ounces of gold!! 

[bbi1]

Apparently lots of Thais have gambling problems. Seems like it's in their blood for many of them. Money lenders business makes a mint of these Thais who are addicted to throwing money down the drain    .

[bbi1]

On 2/16/2024 at 11:50 AM, FritsSikkink said:

Why on earth do you did you leave your 15 years old alone in another country?

It isn't his 15 year old. He said stepson. Not his blood & not his sperm to create the human being.

[Freddy42OZ]

Are you sure he's actually addicted? 

It could be that he just believes he would win back the losses and didn't so got deeper into the hole. 

I would address the stealing as something he should be punished for.

But the playing and losing is not entirely his fault.

He needs to be educated that any online game can be rigged (most likely is) to make you think you are winning and then take all your money.  
Not his fault if he's not very savvy when it comes to tech and online scams.   Plenty of people think these sites are completely honest, which of course the are not. 

The next question, which you have probably asked him, is why was he gambling on these sites?   Was there a reason he needed more money than you provide him?   Perhaps he wants an expensive gaming computer but doesn't think you'd pay 200K baht for one and saving up would take too long? 

 

[bbi1]

4 hours ago, Celsius said:

Farang comes to Thailand and works for his loser adopted "family"

Why any man wants to take over being dad to someone else's kids is beyond me, especially a kid from a Thai dad deadbeat who did a runner. Thai men are smarter than a lots of falang who come to Thailand. They'd never want to take over being dad to another Thai man's kids. They leave this for the falangs.

[JBChiangRai]

32 minutes ago, bbi1 said:

It isn't his 15 year old. He said stepson. Not his blood & not his sperm to create the human being.

 

That makes absolutely no difference.

[Scouse123]

2 hours ago, alex8912 said:

If everyone had your opinions about 15-17 year olds the planet would be done. Your post is complete garbage. The kid is a mess stealing 26k and 5 ounces of gold!! 

 

We have already established that he's a mess.

 

And your way of resolving this is how?

 

Instead of berating and criticism, what's your solution genius??

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[NativeBob]

3 hours ago, FritsSikkink said:

Shame they didn't rob you.

same to you

[NativeBob]

1 hour ago, bbi1 said:

Apparently lots of Thais have gambling problems. Seems like it's in their blood for many of them. Money lenders business makes a mint of these Thais who are addicted to throwing money down the drain    .

Oh yes!

Just observe pawn shops during big championships - everything goes!

But I would not generalize "lots of thais" and "many". I met quite many thais who never touched anything related to gambling )

[john donson]

you need a house sitter ? how much you pay?

 

many thais seem to suffer from bipolar

 

spending all their money on useless things in a few days , instead of spreading over the month

 

one girl does this...does not matter how much she gets from work, boyfriend...

 

her brother is a gambling addict

 

 

dopamine related ... neither wants to take meds

 

they enjoy the highs and are like zombie for the lows...

 

[WDSmart]

What I would do about this all depends on whether your stepson was winning money or not. 

[FritsSikkink]

On 2/17/2024 at 2:34 PM, bbi1 said:

It isn't his 15 year old. He said stepson. Not his blood & not his sperm to create the human being.

So what? If you marry someone you are responsible for the children too.

[bbi1]

16 minutes ago, FritsSikkink said:

So what? If you marry someone you are responsible for the children too.

Never make the mistake of marrying a chick with kids to another man. Thai men are smarter than farangs as Thai men won't touch a woman that has a kid to another man. Lots of farangs seem to love to take on that job.

[charleskerins]

On 2/17/2024 at 10:02 AM, ChaiyaTH said:

Let me get this straight, you left your stepson, who is underage, and was like what, 14 years old when you left in 2021, alone in Phuket to live in your house with his girlfriend? And you are surprised that that ended in stealing some gold, and gambling a bit online? Lol.

 

Even a Thai at 30 years old, can still not be assumed to be a full adult, let alone if you'd leave an actual minor behind in Thailand. Neglecting a child usually ends up in addiction and depression on the kids side.

 

Would not even call it a 'gambling addiction'. All he did is steal some money and play, that is what almost 8/10 Thai guy here does once in their life. By the way, to then now still get him to USA and get him a green card, sounds even more naive. He likely ends up in a usa jail or messes up your wife status.

 

You should have brought him when he was 14, or never left him behind in the first place. Sounds like it is too late now to do that but I am sure your wife will keep nagging you until you do it, and it is gonna cost you more and more money over time, aside from energy.

 

My brother in law prefers stealing somehow too, even a 1 year suspended jail sentence, 2 years in the army and being a monk for 6 months, did not help.

i'm sure the OP appreciates your help(admonishment)

[FritsSikkink]

4 minutes ago, bbi1 said:

Never make the mistake of marrying a chick with kids to another man. Thai men are smarter than farangs as Thai men won't touch a woman that has a kid to another man. Lots of farangs seem to love to take on that job.

Absolute nonsense by someone with no parental skills whatsoever. 

[charleskerins]

27 minutes ago, FritsSikkink said:

So what? If you marry someone you are responsible for the children too.

no you aren't

[Hanaguma]

The situation is what it has become. All the recriminations and 'should have' or 'could have' won't change it.  Something I learned when raising my own son- kids would rather be praised than punished. BUT they would also rather be punished than ignored.  And this goes double for boys.

 

So a bit part of the problem may be solved if/when your family is back together again. Teenage boys need supervision and also a male role model in their lives.  Not sure how old the boy was when you turned up, but it is hopefully not too late for the OP to become that role model. As for the theft, he can pay the money back over time once he starts working.  Give him a chance to succeed at something and the urge to waste time/money/attention at gambling may go away.  

 

ETA: if he has been using legit or semi-legit gambling websites, is it possible to recover some of the money due to his being a minor? Similar if he sold/pawned the gold- I am not sure if there are laws in Thailand to prevent minors from such actions. 

[JBChiangRai]

30 minutes ago, bbi1 said:

Never make the mistake of marrying a chick with kids to another man. Thai men are smarter than farangs as Thai men won't touch a woman that has a kid to another man. Lots of farangs seem to love to take on that job.

 

Chick? that speaks volumes.

 

20 minutes ago, charleskerins said:

no you aren't

 

When you marry someone with kids, you are most definitely taking on the commitment of raising the kids.

 

In my case, when I dated someone with a daughter and allowed them to move in, when that relationship finished 4 months later, I still had the moral obligation to look after her and continue sending her to an international school, and subsequently university 15 years later. Adopting her too.

 

There is always the right thing to do and the wrong thing to do, I would never make a morally bankrupt decision, it's not hard to see what is the right thing to do.

[bbi1]

8 minutes ago, JBChiangRai said:

 

Chick? that speaks volumes.

 

 

When you marry someone with kids, you are most definitely taking on the commitment of raising the kids.

 

In my case, when I dated someone with a daughter and allowed them to move in, when that relationship finished 4 months later, I still had the moral obligation to look after her and continue sending her to an international school, and subsequently university 15 years later. Adopting her too.

 

There is always the right thing to do and the wrong thing to do, I would never make a morally bankrupt decision, it's not hard to see what is the right thing to do.

I'm sure the mother appreciates you being her human ATM forever after 4 months of dating her and breaking up with her.

[JBChiangRai]

3 minutes ago, bbi1 said:

I'm sure the mother appreciates you being her human ATM forever after 4 months of dating her and breaking up with her.

 

I have absolutely nothing to do with my daughter's biological parents.  In my case it was the grandmother who instructed they had to relinquish all rights to the child.