Familiarity breeds contempt?

[Yagoda]

14 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Don't think there's many 70 year olds getting free ones!

Speaking for many 70 year olds, I pay them to leave. Im beyond the famous 333, im a more like tired615 and they leave faster

 

[Bday Prang]

3 minutes ago, bob smith said:

I had hundreds from 18-30.

 

never paid for it once.

 

bob.

didn't even pay for 1/2 of lager  or a bag of chips,  c'mon that's stretching it a bit

[bob smith]

2 minutes ago, Yagoda said:

I myslef am exceedingly unattractive and the women in Thailand are a plus. The air sucks though

I could… but im not gonna 😄 

 

bob.

[bob smith]

1 minute ago, steven100 said:

 

agree Korat,   some on here think everything is perfect everyday ... they need to take their rose colored glasses off and get out into the real world of thais.

well said mate.

 

Thailand is far from perfect, that’s a fact.

But it is warm and the beer is cold..

 

for some, that’s just about enough to keep us here long term.

 

bob.

[Yagoda]

Just now, bob smith said:

I could… but im not gonna 😄 

 

bob.

It doesnt matter if you do. 

[Bday Prang]

47 minutes ago, Dolf said:

Humans are just animals. Learn to pat them on the head.

unless they are Thai 

[brianthainess]

2 hours ago, bob smith said:

What I found was the dumb farang fresh off the boat gets more respect and better service than the average Thai speaking expat does.

Of course they do. First question "how long you stay Thailand?"

[Dan O]

9 minutes ago, bob smith said:

and yet here you are, hoping that someone will agree with you, maybe even post a thumbs up emoji, who knows!!

 

bob.

I'm not after anyone to agree with me or like what I tell you. Tge truth may sting you but its still the truth.  I'm just calling you out because you make up stories, change your mind every other week, make claims that are completely unbelievable. If you notice though most everyone replying to you knows you full of crap 

[brianthainess]

24 minutes ago, bob smith said:

I had hundreds from 18-30.

 

never paid for it once.

 

bob.

Same here, I only ever pay them to leave my room. 

[bob smith]

5 minutes ago, Dan O said:

I'm not after anyone to agree with me or like what I tell you

whatever you say, Dan.

 

bob.

[FritsSikkink]

2 hours ago, bob smith said:

how does one act like an entitled jerk by just walking into a restaurant?

 

is it the body language? dress sense?

or can they smell it on me?

 

bob.

People in general don't like alcoholics.

[BritManToo]

23 minutes ago, brianthainess said:

Of course they do. First question "how long you stay Thailand?"

My answer is always "I arrived 2 days ago“.

[bob smith]

1 minute ago, FritsSikkink said:

People in general don't like alcoholics.

have you done a study on this yourself?

 

bob.

[bob smith]

1 minute ago, BritManToo said:

My answer is always "I arrived 2 days ago“.

interesting!

 

I may start giving this a try from now on.

 

it seems that honesty is not always the best policy here.

 

bob.

Edited March 21 by bob smith

[Enoon]

2 hours ago, bob smith said:

I've started to notice a pattern emerging.

 

I usually go out to eat and drink quite a lot in various places around Thailand.

Whenever I go somewhere new for the first time they are always all smiles, greeting me and lavishing me with their service.

 

However, I have noticed that once I return to the same establishment and they recognize my face the servers arent nearly as friendly.

Now if i get chatting with them and I have had a few I will sometimes let my guard down and start speaking with them in Thai.

This is when things become critical.

They either warm to this, or as is in the case of the woman the other day - they get offended by it.

 

I am a pretty well dressed guy and I usually dine alone.

So naturally the girls/waitresses want to get to know me a bit more.

sometimes they even sit at my table. they ask questions like ‘how long you stay here?’ ‘you have thai girlfriend?’..

sometimes I give them a cover story, depending on how I gauge the atmosphere in the place (are they scammy, etc)

but other times I let my guard down and tell all.

 

I have definitely noticed a pattern emerging:

The places were I play the dumb farang on holiday welcome me with open arms every time,

the places that know the real me start to become more aloof and even (i think) dislike me after my 4 or 5th visit.

The truth is, I am a wealthy farang who has done good here,

I think many of them don’t like that and are envious of me.

or is it just a classic case of familiarity breeding contempt? 

do I just need to find a new place to eat?

 

This has happened on multiple occasions in different parts of the country.

I decided to start this a while back as kind of a social experiment.

What I found was the dumb farang fresh off the boat gets more respect and better service than the average Thai speaking expat does.

 

Make of that what you will.

 

bob.

 

When you speak in Thai they gain an insight into your character that they would not get if you only spoke English......because they do not speak English so well and are unable to read you very well.

 

Because you speak Thai you reveal yourself to them in the same way that you reveal yourself on AseanNow.

 

I find you to be a typically tiresome, alcoholic bore.

 

It seems that many people, perhaps the majority, who respond to you on AN think you to be a complete ****...............why should Thai people think otherwise?

 

Do you get it?........people treat you as they find you.

 

That's all the "attention" you'll be getting from me today........carry on.

 

 

Edited March 21 by Enoon

[brianthainess]

15 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

My answer is always "I arrived 2 days ago“.

I sometimes answer ''why? do you know my wife?" 

Edited March 21 by brianthainess

[NanLaew]

3 hours ago, bob smith said:

I am a pretty well dressed guy and I usually dine alone.

So naturally the girls/waitresses want to get to know me a bit more.

 

Naturally...

 

3 hours ago, bob smith said:

do I just need to find a new place to eat?

 

How about finding a new place to post?

[Gecko123]

I want to explain some things to the OP and guys who agree with the 'familiarity breeds contempt' thesis of the OP. I'm doing this out of the kindness of my heart, OK, not to come across as 'Mr. Thai-er than Thai.' 

 

The initial enthusiasm which Thais display when meeting someone new should not be treated as an overture, interest or willingness to entertain a relationship with the person. It is a sociable persona that most Thais, particularly women, have perfected to allow an initial assessment of who you are. You are being assessed. That's it. Once that initial assessment is made, there's a high likelihood that interest will plateau or even drop off. Remembering that the sociable and engaging demeanor you initially observed was most likely just a persona to facilitate an assessment would probably be beneficial.

 

Some guys actually think - and expect -  that all Thais should be as enthusiastic towards them as a bar girl pretends to be when she's trying to rope in a new customer. Many Thais - especially women - are aware of foreign men's naivety about Thai female friendliness and initially pour on the charm when meeting a foreign man for the first time just to see how they will react and to see if the woman is able to have the same effect on the man that she's seen other women have. But that doesn't necessarily mean she's interested in you.

 

One thing I will agree with Mr. Smith about is that I have experienced cases where I have assumed that just because I have been patronizing a service or store for a long time that I have achieved "valued long-time customer" status only to discover that the business ethic of building long term customer relations is not in place. I have experienced this with repair shops, my insurance agent, my post man, and delivery services. When this happens I have on occasion had to make clear that my service expectations are not being met, and on rare occasion had to deliver a serious scolding/tongue lashing to get my point across, but those situations are mostly one-off.

 

The final piece of advice I would give is that it has been my observation that Thai women are not the greatest listeners in the world. If you observe Thai male-female relationships whether married or girlfriend, I think you will see that the men are not especially talkative around their wives. You simply do not see men being overly verbose or yacking on and on with their wives that often. Most of the husbands I've observed seem to think long and hard before they open up their mouths around their wives. This auditory fatigue seems to be even more pronounced when there is a language barrier. The problem and frustration that some foreign guys encounter, especially if their Thai is limited, is that they become dependent on their Thai spouses to be their primary conversation partner, but in Thai culture Thai spouses don't really play that conversational partner role for their husband. The Thai husband's need for conversation appears to be satisfied primarily through work or socializing with other men. It has been my observation that If the foreign husband requires the Thai wife to fulfill this role, this can sometimes cause friction.

 

Edited March 21 by Gecko123

[Dolf]

1 hour ago, bob smith said:

interesting!

 

I may start giving this a try from now on.

 

it seems that honesty is not always the best policy here.

 

bob.

Hello I'm Bob please don't hate me.

[Dolf]

21 minutes ago, Gecko123 said:

I want to explain some things to the OP and guys who agree with the 'familiarity breeds contempt' thesis of the OP. I'm doing this out of the kindness of my heart, OK, not to come across as 'Mr. Thai-er than Thai.' 

 

The initial enthusiasm which Thais display when meeting someone new should not be treated as an overture, interest or willingness to entertain a relationship with the person. It is a sociable persona that most Thais, particularly women, have perfected to allow an initial assessment of who you are. You are being assessed. That's it. Once that initial assessment is made, there's a high likelihood that interest will plateau or even drop off. Remembering that the sociable and engaging demeanor you initially observed was most likely just a persona to facilitate an assessment would probably be beneficial.

 

Some guys actually think - and expect -  that all Thais should be as enthusiastic towards them as a bar girl pretends to be when she's trying to rope in a new customer. Many Thais - especially women - are aware of foreign men's naivety about Thai female friendliness and initially pour on the charm when meeting a foreign man for the first time just to see how they will react and to see if the woman is able to have the same effect on the man that she's seen other women have. But that doesn't necessarily mean she's interested in you.

 

One thing I will agree with Mr. Smith about is that I have experienced cases where I have assumed that just because I have been patronizing a service or store for a long time that I have achieved "valued long-time customer" status only to discover that the business ethic of building long term customer relations is not in place. I have experienced this with repair shops, my insurance agent, my post man, and delivery services. When this happens I have on occasion had to make clear that my service expectations are not being met, and on rare occasion had to deliver a serious scolding/tongue lashing to get my point across, but those situations are mostly one-off.

 

The final piece of advice I would give is that it has been my observation that Thai women are not the greatest listeners in the world. If you observe Thai male-female relationships whether married or girlfriend, I think you will see that the men are not especially talkative around their wives. You simply do not see men being overly verbose or yacking on and on with their wives that often. Most of the husbands I've observed seem to think long and hard before they open up their mouths around their wives. This auditory fatigue seems to be even more pronounced when there is a language barrier. The problem and frustration that some foreign guys encounter, especially if their Thai is limited, is that they become dependent on their Thai spouses to be their primary conversation partner, but in Thai culture Thai spouses don't really play that conversational partner role for their husband. The Thai husband's need for conversation appears to be satisfied primarily through work or socializing with other men. It has been my observation that If the foreign husband requires the Thai wife to fulfill this role, this can sometimes cause friction.

 

Women are emotional creatures. They sometimes pour it on, sometimes ignore you. Just how they are. 

[jerrymahoney]

4 hours ago, bob smith said:

you have thai girlfriend?’..

When I was asked (in Thai) if I have a Thai wife or girlfriend, I used to answer: Both.

[bob smith]

1 hour ago, Gecko123 said:

I want to explain some things to the OP and guys who agree with the 'familiarity breeds contempt' thesis of the OP. I'm doing this out of the kindness of my heart, OK, not to come across as 'Mr. Thai-er than Thai.' 

 

The initial enthusiasm which Thais display when meeting someone new should not be treated as an overture, interest or willingness to entertain a relationship with the person. It is a sociable persona that most Thais, particularly women, have perfected to allow an initial assessment of who you are. You are being assessed. That's it. Once that initial assessment is made, there's a high likelihood that interest will plateau or even drop off. Remembering that the sociable and engaging demeanor you initially observed was most likely just a persona to facilitate an assessment would probably be beneficial.

 

Some guys actually think - and expect -  that all Thais should be as enthusiastic towards them as a bar girl pretends to be when she's trying to rope in a new customer. Many Thais - especially women - are aware of foreign men's naivety about Thai female friendliness and initially pour on the charm when meeting a foreign man for the first time just to see how they will react and to see if the woman is able to have the same effect on the man that she's seen other women have. But that doesn't necessarily mean she's interested in you.

 

One thing I will agree with Mr. Smith about is that I have experienced cases where I have assumed that just because I have been patronizing a service or store for a long time that I have achieved "valued long-time customer" status only to discover that the business ethic of building long term customer relations is not in place. I have experienced this with repair shops, my insurance agent, my post man, and delivery services. When this happens I have on occasion had to make clear that my service expectations are not being met, and on rare occasion had to deliver a serious scolding/tongue lashing to get my point across, but those situations are mostly one-off.

 

The final piece of advice I would give is that it has been my observation that Thai women are not the greatest listeners in the world. If you observe Thai male-female relationships whether married or girlfriend, I think you will see that the men are not especially talkative around their wives. You simply do not see men being overly verbose or yacking on and on with their wives that often. Most of the husbands I've observed seem to think long and hard before they open up their mouths around their wives. This auditory fatigue seems to be even more pronounced when there is a language barrier. The problem and frustration that some foreign guys encounter, especially if their Thai is limited, is that they become dependent on their Thai spouses to be their primary conversation partner, but in Thai culture Thai spouses don't really play that conversational partner role for their husband. The Thai husband's need for conversation appears to be satisfied primarily through work or socializing with other men. It has been my observation that If the foreign husband requires the Thai wife to fulfill this role, this can sometimes cause friction.

 

Nice post mate!

 

This is why I post here, in the hope of receiving a response as articulate as this.

 

Nice one Gecko.

 

bob.

[BMW Overlander]

5 hours ago, bob smith said:

Quote

I have definitely noticed a pattern emerging:

The places were I play the dumb farang on holiday welcome me with open arms every time,

the places that know the real me start to become more aloof and even (i think) dislike me after my 4 or 5th visit.

 

90% of your posts are total crap but have to agree with you on this one 😉

 

[FruitPudding]

I wouldn't worry too much what they think, Bob.  It's misplaced energy.

 

It's just the LOS.

 

 

Edited March 21 by FruitPudding

[Bday Prang]

3 hours ago, brianthainess said:

Same here, I only ever pay them to leave my room. 

Well i did say we all  pay "one way or the other"  pay them to come, or pay them to leave and stay away, its all the same in the end, Except perhaps for marriage when we end up paying twice, and it generally costs a lot more to get rid of them than it did to attract them initially

[Dolf]

1 hour ago, jerrymahoney said:

When I was asked (in Thai) if I have a Thai wife or girlfriend, I used to answer: Both.

Tungkoo

[Andycoops]

5 hours ago, bob smith said:

It’s strange.

 

Because a regular customer over years of frequenting the place will be worth a lot more than a short term one who only visits once.

 

bob.

Not the way Thais think as they have zero common sense or logic.

 

If you are a newbie it's all the more easy to extract the maximum amount...

[bob smith]

3 minutes ago, Andycoops said:

Not the way Thais think as they have zero common sense or logic.

 

If you are a newbie it's all the more easy to extract the maximum amount...

yep.. that seems to be the way it works here.

 

bob.

[john donson]

another narcissist that thinks the world evolves around him

[Dolf]

4 hours ago, bob smith said:

I had hundreds from 18-30.

 

never paid for it once.

 

bob.

BS