Thai Girl is almost perfect but are these serious problems?

[Cameroni]

6 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

who never asks for money,

 

X a million.

 

I'm telling you, it's true. This girl never asks for money. I've also never experienced this before, and this is one of the reasons I think she may be a keeper. 

[simon43]

To be honest, she sounds like my ex #3.  A good girl, no known father, looked after her mother and (real) brother, worked hard in a camera factory, no tattoos, no bar-work etc.  She was cute, pretty, always checking if I was ok, but the sex and intimacy was totally lacking.  She would grit her teeth during sex!  We knew each other for maybe 15 years off and on, and finally we legally married.  But within year we agreed to amicably divorce because we realised that we were much happier as close friends, but not as BF and GF or husband and wife.

Nowadays, she is the only Thai woman that I trust, and she will look after me in my dotage without complaint.  A true friend, but definitely not a GF or wife!

[Cameroni]

5 hours ago, FruitPudding said:

So, her love languages are not the same as yours: physical touch and spending quality time together. 

 

I am guessing her love languages, like most Thai girls, are: gifts and acts of service. Although, this is typically a one way street, lol.

 

You are both totally incompatible. She doesn’t equate physical touch or quality time as "love" but you do.

 

She probably only equates love to being given things and having things done for her. I think this is typical in Thailand. 

 

And, like so many here, she was abandoned by her parents and "raised" - which from my experience means neglected and abused - by the grandmother. 

 

You got yourself a totally broken woman.

 

You are right on two points, we have different love languages, and yes, hers may be gifts and acts of service. And yes, she clearly had a very hard childhood, with her father dying when she was very young, being abandoned by her mother and being raised by her grandmother. So she is a bit broken. The question is, can she be fixed?

[NowNow]

2 minutes ago, Cameroni said:

I would be lying if I didn't say it's because she's so attractive. I have people in the street when we go out come up to me and tell me what a great body she has, she's 168 cm, super slim and very pretty. But it's not just that, she's really easy going, does her thing, let's me do my thing, she's just very user friendly, never fusses with money, she's funny, okay in bed. She seems to have a good character overall.

 

I'm like you though, cuddling, kissing, all this is very important to me, but it's totally unimportant to her. And she knows she's very hot, so she can't walk by a mirror and takes constant photos of herself, she is highly focused on herself. This kind of bothers me. But I don't see it as a dealbreaker yet. 

 

Overall I think you're right though, it would be foolish to just look at looks. I just have not found a major in her character, apart from the lack of inclination for physical affection.

 

That's weird. 'People' commenting to you with regard to your partner's appearance. They must think she's a prostitute. If you mean other girls, they would say it to her, not to you. 

[Cameroni]

4 hours ago, CanadaSam said:

Did she tell you about the herpes before you had sex with her?

 

Did she explain why she had sex with the herpes guy without protection?

 

Too many questions to honestly answer the OP's query.

 

No, she did not, but she did not know she had it, that it was a thing, that it existed. I had to explain it all to her. She really just did not know herself.

 

Many girls have sex without protection in Thailand, Philippines etc, I don't really need an explanation for this.

[Cameroni]

3 hours ago, Lacessit said:

Any woman who gave me a STD would be out the door in the blink of an eye, and I don't care how beautiful she is.

 

Man, I was not thrilled about it, let me tell ya. That was another thing that really bothered me. But she did not know she had it, and got it from a Ukrainian Farang, so, you know. But yes, I did consider this.

[Cameroni]

3 hours ago, Will B Good said:

 

The prevalence of HSV-1 in Thailand is relatively high, around 67%, while HSV-2 prevalence is lower, generally between 10-20%. These figures are consistent with global patterns of herpes infection rates.

 

Best get yourself a virgin......good luck with that.

 

I actually did before this one, but that girl had a host of other problems and it sadly did not work out. She was terrible at sex btw.

[fredwiggy]

Just now, Cameroni said:

 

You are right on two points, we have different love languages, and yes, hers may be gifts and acts of service. And yes, she clearly had a very hard childhood, with her father dying when she was very young, being abandoned by her mother and being raised by her grandmother. So she is a bit broken. The question is, can she be fixed?

People can fix themselves, if that's what they want because they look at themselves and see failure. taking pictures of herself like you mentioned is done all over the world. Some are narcissistic and bad, and most just have self esteem and a tad narcissism, which most have. Damaged good, broken, absent father, mom runs, raised by grandma happens here thousands of times, and the girls go into adulthood already hurting. They need love, lots of it, and consistent. They hear horror stories about the local men, and some about farangs, especially the tourists, so they're both naive and guarded. You can't fix them.You can only love and care for them every day. It's up to them if they trust enough to open their hearts. If you find a damaged girl and take a long time to earn her trust, they can be the best wives around, because you made them believe.

[Celsius]

22 minutes ago, Cameroni said:

I've never experienced this either. It does exist though, as I found out. I used to give her 2000 Baht per week at the beginning, but since I saw that she sent the money straight to her mother I stopped giving her anything, only the odd 200 or 300 to pay for her mobile phone. I also order some clothes or other gifts on Lazada for her now and then. She basically has all she needs. I told her I lost my job and and can't give her 2000 Baht. This was 7 months ago and not only did she just accept it, she never asked for money and did not leave. She may say I feel like ice cream, then I go get some. But she's really a decent girl, she just got unlucky she hooked up with this debauched Ukrainian.

 

Oh, so you did pay her then.

 

Disappointing.....

 

.... that the thread was a lie 

[FruitPudding]

7 minutes ago, Cameroni said:

 

You are right on two points, we have different love languages, and yes, hers may be gifts and acts of service. And yes, she clearly had a very hard childhood, with her father dying when she was very young, being abandoned by her mother and being raised by her grandmother. So she is a bit broken. The question is, can she be fixed?

 

Probably not. 

 

But hopping on to another one won't make much of a difference. 

 

They are mostly like this. 

[Cameroni]

12 minutes ago, simon43 said:

To be honest, she sounds like my ex #3.  A good girl, no known father, looked after her mother and (real) brother, worked hard in a camera factory, no tattoos, no bar-work etc.  She was cute, pretty, always checking if I was ok, but the sex and intimacy was totally lacking.  She would grit her teeth during sex!  We knew each other for maybe 15 years off and on, and finally we legally married.  But within year we agreed to amicably divorce because we realised that we were much happier as close friends, but not as BF and GF or husband and wife.

Nowadays, she is the only Thai woman that I trust, and she will look after me in my dotage without complaint.  A true friend, but definitely not a GF or wife!

 

It's not quite as bad with her, she actually enjoys sex a lot, never grits her teeth but has good orgasms. She's just not into the physical intimacy thing apart from sex. I'm just wondering if I cant get her used to that, or if she'll be like this all her life. She does cuddle me, but it's totally obvious she's not into that.

[FruitPudding]

Why doesn't she have a job?

 

What she do when you met her?

 

Where did she meet this Ukrainian?

[Cameroni]

12 minutes ago, NowNow said:

 

That's weird. 'People' commenting to you with regard to your partner's appearance. They must think she's a prostitute. If you mean other girls, they would say it to her, not to you. 

 

Yes, an older woman told me that. I don't think she meant to say she was a prostitute, she was just genuinely wowed by her body, which most people are. She said it first to her, then I asked what she said and she told me. But some of my friends think she is a prostitute because she is just so uber hot and dresses sexy, but she is not and never was. 

[Cameroni]

1 minute ago, FruitPudding said:

Why doesn't she have a job?

 

What she do when you met her?

 

Where did she meet this Ukrainian?

 

She had a job when I met her, she worked in a factory. I told her come to live with me, and she did. She also studied law at university.

 

I'm guessing she met him on a dating site, but then shacked up with him on an island. It quickly became apparent he was sex obsessed and after he insisted she do a threesome she broke up with him.

[MalcolmB]

2 hours ago, oxo1947 said:

 

 

 

 

Just because none of us can get a girl for free doesn’t mean that other people can’t.

 

The good thing about herpes is you can only catch it once.

 

Ukrainian probably wasn’t circumcised which resulted in the STI.

[OneMoreFarang]

16 minutes ago, Cameroni said:

I would be lying if I didn't say it's because she's so attractive. I have people in the street when we go out come up to me and tell me what a great body she has, she's 168 cm, super slim and very pretty. But it's not just that, she's really easy going, does her thing, let's me do my thing, she's just very user friendly, never fusses with money, she's funny, okay in bed. She seems to have a good character overall.

 

I'm like you though, cuddling, kissing, all this is very important to me, but it's totally unimportant to her. And she knows she's very hot, so she can't walk by a mirror and takes constant photos of herself, she is highly focused on herself. This kind of bothers me. But I don't see it as a dealbreaker yet. 

 

Overall I think you're right though, it would be foolish to just look at looks. I just have not found a major in her character, apart from the lack of inclination for physical affection.

You sound like someone who analyses this situation like a business deal or a mathematical equation.

10 points for good looks, 6 points for the bed action, 8 points for the stress free, and 2 points for cuddling. Total, 26 points. Maybe you think over 20 points is good enough for you.

I see it like: She must have at least 7 points for he looks, and at least 7 points for cuddling. If she has any less, and the situation is unlikely to change, then for me that is a deal breaker. And that is not really a big problem, because there are so many beautiful girls in this country.

 

I despise people who constantly take pictures of themselves for various online apps. They have mental problems, and those problems don't just go away. 

[Cameroni]

12 minutes ago, Celsius said:

 

Oh, so you did pay her then.

 

Disappointing.....

 

.... that the thread was a lie 

 

Only at the very beginning, but even then she never asked for it. I just gave it to her. But I have not done so for 7 months and she still never asks.

 

I said in the thread header that she never asks, and that is the case. No lies at all.

[OneMoreFarang]

Just now, MalcolmB said:

Ukrainian probably wasn’t circumcised which resulted in the STI.

You seem to be a medical specialist. Or at least you think you are. Try again. 

[MalcolmB]

5 minutes ago, Cameroni said:

 

She had a job when I met her, she worked in a factory. I told her come to live with me, and she did. She also studied law at university.

 

I'm guessing she met him on a dating site, but then shacked up with him on an island. It quickly became apparent he was sex obsessed and after he insisted she do a threesome she broke up with him.

Don’t listen to the jealous fools on here. Get her to finish the law degree.

Herpes is for life but after a few years you won’t get any scabby flare ups, no big deal.

Better that she gets at least a part time job in my opinion.

[Cameroni]

1 minute ago, OneMoreFarang said:

You sound like someone who analyses this situation like a business deal or a mathematical equation.

10 points for good looks, 6 points for the bed action, 8 points for the stress free, and 2 points for cuddling. Total, 26 points. Maybe you think over 20 points is good enough for you.

I see it like: She must have at least 7 points for he looks, and at least 7 points for cuddling. If she has any less, and the situation is unlikely to change, then for me that is a deal breaker. And that is not really a big problem, because there are so many beautiful girls in this country.

 

I despise people who constantly take pictures of themselves for various online apps. They have mental problems, and those problems don't just go away. 

 

Well, the situation has changed, I did raise it with her, that her lack of physical intimacy is not normal and she does make an effort to hug in bed now. I am just wondering if she will change in this regard, or if this will really bother me long term. After all the sex is good.

 

Yes, the photo social media thing is a major annoyance, she is always on the phone playing games, but I don't think I can change that, and whilst annoying it's not a dealbreaker for me.

[Cameroni]

1 minute ago, MalcolmB said:

Don’t listen to the jealous fools on here. Get her to finish the law degree.

Herpes is for life but after a few years you won’t get any scabby flare ups, no big deal.

Better that she gets at least a part time job in my opinion.

 

I was thinking exactly the same. I'll get her to finish her law degree and get her out the house to take a job. This constant playing games on the phone is unhealthy and not good for her. Though she was a law student her education needs serious boosting.

[Celsius]

12 minutes ago, Cameroni said:

 

Only at the very beginning, but even then she never asked for it. I just gave it to her. But I have not done so for 7 months and she still never asks.

 

I said in the thread header that she never asks, and that is the case. No lies at all.

 

You were paying when you met her and now you don't.

 

 

Maybe if you still did, you would be getting extra cuddling.

Edited July 29 by Celsius

[OneMoreFarang]

Just now, Cameroni said:

Well, the situation has changed, I did raise it with her, that her lack of physical intimacy is not normal and she does make an effort to hug in bed now. I am just wondering if she will change in this regard, or if this will really bother me long term. After all the sex is good.

 

Yes, the photo social media thing is a major annoyance, she is always on the phone playing games, but I don't think I can change that, and whilst annoying it's not a dealbreaker for me.

 

Obviously, we all have to live with compromises.

But some personality traits are just incompatible. If you want now a gf, and maybe another one in a couple of months, and then another one, then that is maybe good enough. But if you intend to stay with her "forever", then maybe think about if in 10 years you will be annoyed that she never comes to kiss you and you know that never happened since you are together with her, and it will never change. Maybe now you think that is not a big problem, because if you go and kiss her, she lets you do it. But in a few years... 

 

[Ralf001]

44 minutes ago, Cameroni said:

 he insisted she have a threesome.

 

Did she enjoy ?

MMF or FFM ?

[fredwiggy]

Just now, OneMoreFarang said:

 

Obviously, we all have to live with compromises.

But some personality traits are just incompatible. If you want now a gf, and maybe another one in a couple of months, and then another one, then that is maybe good enough. But if you intend to stay with her "forever", then maybe think about if in 10 years you will be annoyed that she never comes to kiss you and you know that never happened since you are together with her, and it will never change. Maybe now you think that is not a big problem, because if you go and kiss her, she lets you do it. But in a few years... 

 

She's under 30 and can still definitely change. Childhood damage takes a long time to get past, and what it takes is consistent love from someone she can trust. Some of the best wives men have found have been damaged goods they took time to earn their trust. Women that have been with a lot of men compare all the time, and always are looking for better, as no one will be special enough for them. A woman only needs a couple of bad experiences to shun most men, and hopefully open her heart to the right one. Men are to blame for hurting a woman's trust in them, and it starts with their father.

[Lacessit]

35 minutes ago, Cameroni said:

 

Man, I was not thrilled about it, let me tell ya. That was another thing that really bothered me. But she did not know she had it, and got it from a Ukrainian Farang, so, you know. But yes, I did consider this.

Gonorrhea is another one. Apparently women can have it and not know about it, although it can make them sterile. OTOH, very easily diagnosed in men.

 

I have had bareback sex with only one woman in Thailand, even that was after knowing her for two years.

[Rimmer]

Some off topic bickering posts and flames have been removed, please also take note of the following forum rules:

 

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[Celsius]

1 hour ago, Cameroni said:

Nah, it came from a Ukrainian ex who was heavily into prostitutes, threesomes and such, she threw him out when he insisted she have a threesome. But she also knew he used prostitutes. That's how she got it. She has no tattoos, never worked in a bar, she was a law student and worked in a factory. A good girl.

 

Hilarious.

 

Go tell this your mom and see what she says 🤣

[Cameroni]

13 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

She's under 30 and can still definitely change. Childhood damage takes a long time to get past, and what it takes is consistent love from someone she can trust. Some of the best wives men have found have been damaged goods they took time to earn their trust. Women that have been with a lot of men compare all the time, and always are looking for better, as no one will be special enough for them. A woman only needs a couple of bad experiences to shun most men, and hopefully open her heart to the right one. Men are to blame for hurting a woman's trust in them, and it starts with their father.

 

Yes, it's just what incentive would she have to do so, only to please me really. Or, as you said earlier, if she starts to really enjoy cuddling herself.

 

She's had only 2 guys, and overall fairly positive experiences, from what I can tell. Her not wanting cuddling and such is more due to her being raised by an older grandmother, her father dying and her mother being absent. This is what caused it, I'm quite sure. Like OneFarang said earlier I am just wondering if this will be a major problem if she does not change it, or not.

[OneMoreFarang]

15 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

She's under 30 and can still definitely change.

We can all change. But we never change fundamentally. 

Lots of our behavior develops in early childhood. If that is over, that's it. No fundamental changes anymore.

Obviously, we can try to support people in need. But how many of us want to do that for years only to find out that the change is minimal.