50,000 baht request from Thai long time friend.

[john donson]

On 8/19/2024 at 9:56 AM, Yellowtail said:

Not sure what your "friend's" financial situation is, but if I had a longtime friend that was left penniless when her a-hole husband died, and she wanted to borrow B50K, I would just gift her the money. 

 

That said, if I were living hand to mouth, I would just give her what I could. 

 

Never loan friends money. 

 

 

 

such a nice generous friend you are... and rich, handsome too ?

 

generous with words, on paper, like most keyboard warriors here

[ross163103]

20 hours ago, JimTripper said:

That works if you never fall on hard times and need a loan yourself. It's a give & take.

 

I wouldn't ask family or friends for money because I know how I feel when people ask me. IF I fell on hard times I might explain my situation--IF family or friends ask, then if they offer to help, great. But I don't want to create any hard feelings by asking.

 

Many years ago I had one friend ask for a substantial amount and after many hours of talking about it I said no, his response, "But you're my last hope, if you don't give me the money I don't know what I'll do." He didn't get the money and we are no longer friends because of it. Better to not ask as it just creates problems, unless everything turns out perfect.

[JimTripper]

34 minutes ago, ross163103 said:

I wouldn't ask family or friends for money because I know how I feel when people ask me. IF I fell on hard times I might explain my situation--IF family or friends ask, then if they offer to help, great. But I don't want to create any hard feelings by asking.

 

Many years ago I had one friend ask for a substantial amount and after many hours of talking about it I said no, his response, "But you're my last hope, if you don't give me the money I don't know what I'll do." He didn't get the money and we are no longer friends because of it. Better to not ask as it just creates problems, unless everything turns out perfect.

Ok, but don't dwell on your problems. It's just like asking. Maybe mention it once then that's it. Maybe even only if they ask about your situation. Otherwise they feel guilty about not helping out.

Edited August 20 by JimTripper

[Photoguy21]

44 minutes ago, ross163103 said:

 

I wouldn't ask family or friends for money because I know how I feel when people ask me. IF I fell on hard times I might explain my situation--IF family or friends ask, then if they offer to help, great. But I don't want to create any hard feelings by asking.

 

Many years ago I had one friend ask for a substantial amount and after many hours of talking about it I said no, his response, "But you're my last hope, if you don't give me the money I don't know what I'll do." He didn't get the money and we are no longer friends because of it. Better to not ask as it just creates problems, unless everything turns out perfect.

If you do help and dont get the money back that also causes problems. Do not give money unless you do not want it back.

[JimTripper]

39 minutes ago, Photoguy21 said:

If you do help and dont get the money back that also causes problems. Do not give money unless you do not want it back.

There are some people who do repay it back later. If you're getting a lot of people who don't return loans the problem could be you.

 

In other words, you're not judging people correctly or do not understand their ability to repay the loan.

[Mutt Daeng]

Al Pacino summed it up in one of the Godfather movies (3 I think).

"Money and friendship, oil and water"

[brianthainess]

Thanks for all your replies, I was talking my wife today again today about this, and she has already told her, I will not lend her the money as I may get sick and need the money myself to pay hospital bills(I'm 73 now and not in the best of health) and the lady has accepted that reasoning, I also asked her how did she pay for cremation anyway " her friend lent her the money" 🙄  and she will get the insurance in 3 weeks, so I said "good her friend can wait for the money then" . 👍🏻  🍻

 

[bogozy]

On 8/19/2024 at 4:56 AM, Yellowtail said:

Not sure what your "friend's" financial situation is, but if I had a longtime friend that was left penniless when her a-hole husband died, and she wanted to borrow B50K, I would just gift her the money. 

 

That said, if I were living hand to mouth, I would just give her what I could. 

 

Never loan friends money. 

 

 

When a thai person ask lent money from a farang, almost 99% is no thinking about pay back. They are handling this, as a gift. And all farangs are so rich, they no need for this money.

L

[George FmplesdaCosteedback]

20 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Depends on how much they give to the monks and how lavish the food was. The more the cost the more the "respect".

I pretty much expected this type of reply. I have been here long enough to know how it works thanks.

 

I am talking about this guy, who seems to have little respect and left his wife with nothing.

 

Food: Som Tam, Drink: bottled water, Chanting: as little as possible, Box: minimum spec.

 

50K seems a bit much for a Billy few mates skinflint funeral.

[Photoguy21]

16 hours ago, JimTripper said:

There are some people who do repay it back later. If you're getting a lot of people who don't return loans the problem could be you.

 

In other words, you're not judging people correctly or do not understand their ability to repay the loan.

I totally agree with you but if you adopt the attitude that once given you will never see it again you wont be disappointed if they dont return it. They should I know but many people dont.

[Photoguy21]

16 hours ago, JimTripper said:

There are some people who do repay it back later. If you're getting a lot of people who don't return loans the problem could be you.

 

In other words, you're not judging people correctly or do not understand their ability to repay the loan.

No, I know what people are like and many, not all, will assume you dont want the many back. Many will give it back but a lot wont and will be very offended if you ask for it.

[thaibeachlovers]

On 8/20/2024 at 1:12 PM, sikishrory said:

Don't lend money to anyone. In my experience it only creates issues

Depends. My first Thai GF asked me for a couple hundred $ loan and the next time I visited LOS I gave it to her. She gave it back to me and said that she no longer needed it.

[Ludzilla]

lending money = losing the friend and the money.
Not lending money = losing only the friend

[Danderman123]

This is Thailand.

 

Nobody ever pays back a loan.

[JimTripper]

36 minutes ago, Danderman123 said:

This is Thailand.

 

Nobody ever pays back a loan.

Why?

[Oliver Holzerfilled]

On 8/19/2024 at 3:52 AM, Dexxter said:

Tell her to start a GoFundMe. That seems to be the trend for raising mony these days.

In a few circumstances when friends needed money I suggested a ComeBlowMe.

[Yellowtail]

2 minutes ago, JimTripper said:

Why?

He only knows bargirls, have you not seen his bargirl thread?

 

Everyone I have loaned money to in Thailand has paid me back.

[JamesPhuket10]

On 8/20/2024 at 8:12 AM, sikishrory said:

Don't lend money to anyone. In my experience it only creates issues

You have to take into account who you are lending money to and their circumstances.

 

Most of us have friends you can count on one hand (real friends), the rest are just long-term acquaintances, especially in an expat community.

 

In the UK back in 2005 a friend (I had known him 17 years at that point)  worked on a software contract together, he suddenly needed 10k pounds sterling, and he had a sudden cash-flow problem, I told him no problem and I transferred the money to his account the next day.

 

He said he only needed it for a month but due to further complications, he paid me back nine months later.

 

In 2010, I had a cash flow shortfall after setting up a new company, he immediately lent me 15k pounds, and I said I did not know exactly when I could pay him back, he got it all back one year later.

 

My ex-Thai wife lent about 4000 pounds (her own money not mine) to her Thai cousin for a business startup, he gave a Rolex as a guarantee, but he did not pay it back in the time agreed so she took it to a jeweller, what a surprise, it was fake. 

 

Would I lend money to a Thai, no way.

 

A funny thing happened last year at the housing complex we live in, a Thai security guard working at the barrier to the complex rang our doorbell, he wanted to borrow 5000 baht for one hour and could pay it back after one hour, I thought which creditor can not wait one hour to be paid,  the answer was "no".

 

[JamesPhuket10]

1 hour ago, Oliver Holzerfilled said:

In a few circumstances when friends needed money I suggested a ComeBlowMe.

Even the blokes 😀