Finding true love caring partner

[GypsyT]

2 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

11 hours ago, jaywalker2 said:

There are plenty of women in their 50's. and 60's looking for companionship and a stable relationship.

Perhaps, but they ain't sexually attractive and probably don't want sex.

Right on!

I've met many attractive 50s and 60s women but lack of interest in sex was a big turn-off.

I won't date any of them.

 

[fredwiggy]

3 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

You need to learn women only love and nurture their children.

 I already have been here 68 years and know full well what women do. A woman will love and nurture you if you in reality do the same for her. Ignoring them, expecting them to act a certain way because they're women doesn't see them as people but as slaves to do your bidding. If you haven't learned how to listen to a woman, they will turn away from you, thinking you don't understand them or really don't care. A smart woman who was treated with love by her dad knows how to give and receive love. A smart woman also knows her children will only be in the house for about 18 years, and then it's just you and her. If she neglects you, or you neglect her, what's left of the relationship? Kids cannot fill all of a woman's needs. They take more than give, are selfish and demanding, and are there temporarily. The most important people in a family are the wife and husband to each other. You put kids first, the relationship loses. This doesn't mean you neglect them but more should be given to the partners, as the children also benefit from seeing the love between their mom and dad. You meet the kids needs, but also the partners, as they came first and will be there last. You neglect your wife, of course she will turn away from you and put all her attention on those kids.

[Celsius]

This story touched me very deeply.

 

I think I'm going to give it to my wife now.

[ravip]

13 hours ago, georgegeorgia said:

I should of out this in the Pattaya section but I didn't.

So don't harp on about it what's done is done !!

Anyway I was in a bookshop cafe today a few expat farangs were telling me that they lived alone ,let me say it again ,lived alone in a room ,by themselves 

I asked them if they were lonely all denied it of course, except one who went on to tell me he would love to have a REAL partner but living in Pattaya is not the place to look for REAL Relationship.

So...the moral of the story is...these men retire from other countries to come to Thailand for a MORE exciting life 

Several months later they are actually LONELY 

 

They go back to their rooms after a day out or night out ...and ...as one said to me ...he has no one 

I wanted to HUG him ..I started to have tears in my eyes as were the only ones left in the book shop cafe 

He invited me back to his room in the FLY BIRD Condo 

I declined  but decided to go after he was crying ,he said he wanted to show me pics of his now grown up children who are hard to contact .

Don't answer there WhatsApp 

 

His wife died of cancer in the UK , 71yo now lives alone in the Flybird Condo 

I went back a small room type like a motel room only longer 

No air conditioning 

I said what do you do after you come back here to the Flybird after a day of drinking ,he said Watch TV then sleep 

 

 

I told him to leave Thailand and go to the PHILIPPINES to find a partner,I said I will arrange his flight

He didn't look to keen ,I said you are LONELY in Pattaya right ,you won't find a partner here !

 

He then asked if he could bring a Filipino partner to Pattaya to live ,I said yes you must for your health 

He looked happy 

He wanted someone to be waiting for him at home each night when he came back to cook for him ,to care for him 

He wanted LOVE and someone to CARE for him 

I have and will help him to go to the Philippines 

You can't find love in Pattaya 

 

[jaywalker2]

14 minutes ago, GypsyT said:

Right on!

I've met many attractive 50s and 60s women but lack of interest in sex was a big turn-off.

I won't date any of them.

 

I haven't found that to be the case. You do need to approach sex in a different way from when you were younger however.

[Gandtee]

I just wonder why you consider all old expats are drunks. Just easy to label? It would be like me saying all male floor moppers are homosexuals. It's insulting and ridiculous. Your claim to caring is lip service methinks.

[GypsyT]

9 minutes ago, jaywalker2 said:

I haven't found that to be the case. You do need to approach sex in a different way from when you were younger however.

Like how?

I've tried may ways but when they themself see and say; "sex belongs to young" what can be done?

One reason is Thai men see 35 yrs "too old!" In a way it's good for us farangs.

[SAFETY FIRST]

14 hours ago, georgegeorgia said:

So...the moral of the story is...these men retire from other countries to come to Thailand for a MORE exciting life 

Several months later they are actually LONELY 

Lots of these guys in Thailand. 

 

You can blame Dan about Thailand, he's always broadcasting how cheap it is to live in Thailand. 

Thailand is cheaper than the west but you just can't move here and expect a good life living of an aged pension. 

 

You need money to enjoy yourself, go out to restaurants, travel, shopping. This is what you need and much more to have a healthy, liveable life. 

 

Hopping on and off a baht bus to get to the bar for a few beers and fish and chips for dinner would be a miserable existence. 

 

BTW, Flybird condo is an awful dull, spooky place for an elderly guy, it's got heaps of beautiful, young bar girls living there but these guys are not looking for a teenager. 

 

 

[SAFETY FIRST]

14 hours ago, georgegeorgia said:

I wanted to HUG him

 

He invited me back to his room

 

He wanted LOVE 

Crikey, you've got some energy. 

 

I thought you'd be all hugged out after spending all that time at Jomtien Complex 

 

[Lacessit]

1 hour ago, BritManToo said:

You need to learn women only love and nurture their children.

They can also love their man. However, the man definitely takes second place behind their children.

[Lacessit]

1 hour ago, fredwiggy said:

Who called you a narcissist? You referred to me as one, when I'm the opposite. I know exactly how a narcissist operates, and where they come from, as I've been the victim of a few, especially here with my ex. Narcissists don't always shed relationships. Some stay with their partners because they give them what they need, especially finances, sex and a house to live in. This doesn't stop them from cheating or degrading. The difference between a narcissist and a normal person is the narcissist will always look at their partner as a thing to use, and maybe discard when they find "better". A normal person looks at their partner as exactly that. Not to use but to cherish and do whatever they can for to make them comfortable with them. 

 

I'm sure most relationships here between foreigners and local women start off with the woman thinking their man will take better care of them than the local men here do, which is partly true but not always. Greed drives the women here, here and in other poor countries, especially ones where the men aren't held accountable for the children they help create. One woman hears what the farang husband does for her friend, and she wants the same, so the fantasy grows. That still doesn't take away from the fact these women are still women, with needs, desires and wants. Attraction can still be there, although the first thing in many minds is still that money they might receive. I think it all depends on how old a woman is, and if she's in her lat 30's or older, she might now be looking for companionship more than financial gain, especially if she has her own money.

 

Again, yes, I think most relationships here between us and them start out as the financial kind, and then could grow into something more "normal", where the more important things are companionship, care and love. In other countries where women are more independent, they look more for someone to treat them with respect and loyalty, less so financial, but I think most women still want to be taken care of. Mutual respect, love, a sense of comfort, and loyalty are still the most important things a woman needs, and when they want these things, it isn't a transaction if he also does. There are millions of women and men in the world who would love to have someone to grow old with, as partners and not looking for what they can get out of the deal. Going into a relationship looking at it as a transaction is wrong. People aren't object to use or gain from. Some want companionship more than anything else.

 

 

"Narcissists are the ones that look at relationships as transactional. There are many that look for trust, companionship, care, shared times and a future together as partners and not someone to use or gain from. If yours were all transactional, maybe you should look inward and ask yourself why. "

 

IMO that is tantamount to calling me a narcissist.

 

Personally, I think all relationships start as transactional, in Thailand or elsewhere.

 

Men are evaluating whether the woman they have met is worth the time and trouble of bedding. Women are attracted to power, intelligence, looks and money. There are very few places on the planet where women earn the same amount of money as men. You may think in more purist terms, but that's just your cockeyed Christian morality at work.

 

Have you ever wondered why some very attractive women end up with complete sleazebags and criminals? It's doubtful it's for love, trust, or even companionship.

 

"Again, yes, I think most relationships here between us and them start out as the financial kind, and then could grow into something more "normal", where the more important things are companionship, care and love."

 

So in effect, you are now agreeing with me.

[fredwiggy]

Just now, Lacessit said:

 

 

"Narcissists are the ones that look at relationships as transactional. There are many that look for trust, companionship, care, shared times and a future together as partners and not someone to use or gain from. If yours were all transactional, maybe you should look inward and ask yourself why. "

 

IMO that is tantamount to calling me a narcissist.

 

Personally, I think all relationships start as transactional, in Thailand or elsewhere.

 

Men are evaluating whether the woman they have met is worth the time and trouble of bedding. Women are attracted to power, intelligence, looks and money. There are very few places on the planet where women earn the same amount of money as men. You may think in more purist terms, but that's just your cockeyed Christian morality at work.

 

Have you ever wondered why some very attractive women end up with complete sleazebags and criminals? It's doubtful it's for love, trust, or even companionship.

 

"Again, yes, I think most relationships here between us and them start out as the financial kind, and then could grow into something more "normal", where the more important things are companionship, care and love."

 

So in effect, you are now agreeing with me.

No, it's saying there are also others who look at relationships as transactional because that's all they've ever had. I made bad choices in partners and admit this, because I went too fast without getting to know them better. Some look at women as those who are all only out for whatever they can get. Women sometimes look at men this way also. This doesn't mean they are narcissists. It means that's all they've experienced so far.  Everyone has some minor narcissistic tendencies. Some have a narcissists personality they were taught as children. Some very attractive women end up with criminals because of wrong thinking. They think the bad boy is a catch because he's exciting, not understanding it's dangerous. They might have had dull, boring relationships not thinking it might have been them that was the boring one, not knowing how to initiate things which could add excitement, and blamed it on others. I agree that many look at relationships as transactional, especially in poor countries or areas. You said 99% are transactional. I think it's a lot less than that, especially in countries with more independent women. Here, it's a lot more. I don't think with a cockeyed Christian morality. I see things how they are.

[Lacessit]

16 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

No, it's saying there are also others who look at relationships as transactional because that's all they've ever had. I made bad choices in partners and admit this, because I went too fast without getting to know them better. Some look at women as those who are all only out for whatever they can get. Women sometimes look at men this way also. This doesn't mean they are narcissists. It means that's all they've experienced so far.  Everyone has some minor narcissistic tendencies. Some have a narcissists personality they were taught as children. Some very attractive women end up with criminals because of wrong thinking. They think the bad boy is a catch because he's exciting, not understanding it's dangerous. They might have had dull, boring relationships not thinking it might have been them that was the boring one, not knowing how to initiate things which could add excitement, and blamed it on others. I agree that many look at relationships as transactional, especially in poor countries or areas. You said 99% are transactional. I think it's a lot less than that, especially in countries with more independent women. Here, it's a lot more. I don't think with a cockeyed Christian morality. I see things how they are.

I said 99% in Thailand were transactional. I am still waiting for factual data from you that rebuts that assertion.

 

"You see things as they are". Really. You worship a religion which brainwashes children, has developed an unsavory reputation for sexual abuse, and makes the protection of property the #1 priority. Yeah right.

 

Noted you still have no cogent response to my post w.r.to the daft concept of original sin.

[fredwiggy]

5 minutes ago, Lacessit said:

I said 99% in Thailand were transactional. I am still waiting for factual data from you that rebuts that assertion.

 

"You see things as they are". Really. You worship a religion which brainwashes children, has developed an unsavory reputation for sexual abuse, and makes the protection of property the #1 priority. Yeah right.

 

Noted you still have no cogent response to my post w.r.to the daft concept of original sin.

I can say the same thing, waiting for you to post data that supports your 99%. It's wrong, and if you read what I posted, it wasn't my words and can easily be researched. As far as God, no one has evidence he doesn't exist and looking at what the universe has, common sense shows it could only be created and was part of a plan. I worship God and not a man made religion. Teaching children about God isn't brainwashing but educating them. Free will means you can always choose your thinking and actions. Sexual abuse isn't limited to priests as anyone who is well read and watches the daily news knows. This isn't about religion anyway. You believe what you want and you'll find out the truth when you pass, as we all will.

[thaibeachlovers]

4 hours ago, fredwiggy said:

If they don't meet your needs, you can leave, but most people who understand their role in a loving relationship know they will get same in return if you're always giving.

I gave till I had no more to give, and walked away with nothing but a resolution to never get romantically involved with another western woman. I kept that for many years to my benefit, but made the mistake of thinking a Thai woman would be different. Was I ever wrong!!!!!

Personally, I'd rather never have had any woman other than a P4P, as they always provide a happy ending and don't take your house for it. Wooing with flowers and gifts is IMO for suckers.

In the end, women are not "special" and don't deserve the biased treatment they get from the law.

[NowNow]

2 hours ago, fredwiggy said:

 I already have been here 68 years and know full well what women do. A woman will love and nurture you if you in reality do the same for her. Ignoring them, expecting them to act a certain way because they're women doesn't see them as people but as slaves to do your bidding. If you haven't learned how to listen to a woman, they will turn away from you, thinking you don't understand them or really don't care. A smart woman who was treated with love by her dad knows how to give and receive love. A smart woman also knows her children will only be in the house for about 18 years, and then it's just you and her. If she neglects you, or you neglect her, what's left of the relationship? Kids cannot fill all of a woman's needs. They take more than give, are selfish and demanding, and are there temporarily. The most important people in a family are the wife and husband to each other. You put kids first, the relationship loses. This doesn't mean you neglect them but more should be given to the partners, as the children also benefit from seeing the love between their mom and dad. You meet the kids needs, but also the partners, as they came first and will be there last. You neglect your wife, of course she will turn away from you and put all her attention on those kids.

 

But you are still PAYING, aren't you? You talk a lot, but in the end you are doing the same thing.

[thaibeachlovers]

1 hour ago, fredwiggy said:

You said 99% are transactional. I think it's a lot less than that, especially in countries with more independent women.

I doubt you can find any western woman that doesn't think her "presence" wasn't worth a lot when it comes to the divorce. It's only non transactional as long as the payoff is yet to come.

[fredwiggy]

Just now, NowNow said:

 

But you are still PAYING, aren't you? You talk a lot, but in the end you are doing the same thing.

Everything costs money, but taking care of your woman and family isn't about money. Providing is a man's job. I prefer providing for instead of paying for a woman's attention. They and I know the difference, and greed is something I leave fast. It's easy to spot, and never lasts as you can't please people who look at others as ATM's. Gold and cash never make people happy. They only buy things that wear out. Trouble is, real people who are looking for love and a comfortable relationship are the hardest thing to find, and most will never have it.

[thaibeachlovers]

2 hours ago, SAFETY FIRST said:

You can blame Dan about Thailand, he's always broadcasting how cheap it is to live in Thailand. 

Thailand is cheaper than the west but you just can't move here and expect a good life living of an aged pension. 

Rubbish. I could have a 1000% better life in LOS if I got the pension there. Life in home country on a pension alone sucks. If I didn't have savings my life would be <deleted>.

Unfortunately I am ineligible for the pension in LOS, or I'd be there.

[BritManToo]

1 hour ago, Lacessit said:

"Narcissists are the ones that look at relationships as transactional. There are many that look for trust, companionship, care, shared times and a future together as partners and not someone to use or gain from. If yours were all transactional, maybe you should look inward and ask yourself why. "

 

IMO that is tantamount to calling me a narcissist.

 

Personally, I think all relationships start as transactional, in Thailand or elsewhere.

IMHO Narcissists are people who believe in God.

They are never responsible, it's always God, and when they need advice the voice in their head gives it to them.

[thaibeachlovers]

1 minute ago, fredwiggy said:

Everything costs money, but taking care of your woman and family isn't about money. Providing is a man's job.

Of course it's about money. I don't know what universe you live in but try living on air and you won't last long. IMO only someone with loads of money has an opinion like that.

 

It's just as well I don't have kids or a wife to support, as I can barely support myself.

[NowNow]

1 minute ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I gave till I had no more to give, and walked away with nothing but a resolution to never get romantically involved with another western woman. I kept that for many years to my benefit, but made the mistake of thinking a Thai woman would be different. Was I ever wrong!!!!!

Personally, I'd rather never have had any woman other than a P4P, as they always provide a happy ending and don't take your house for it. Wooing with flowers and gifts is IMO for suckers.

In the end, women are not "special" and don't deserve the biased treatment they get from the law.

 

You are bitter due to your own behaviour and deficiencies. If you were so 'worthless' so as to put someone on a pedestal because you wanted sex, that's your own fault. I treated females as I would myself from the very beginning. That's likely why I haven't ever indulged in the pathetic P4P scene.

I have respect for myself and expect similar standards from them, otherwise, no matter how 'hot', back into the sea for them.

So many men sell themselves short and humiliate themselves. No chance to salvage any self respect and no longer care. 

[Lacessit]

23 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

I can say the same thing, waiting for you to post data that supports your 99%. It's wrong, and if you read what I posted, it wasn't my words and can easily be researched. As far as God, no one has evidence he doesn't exist and looking at what the universe has, common sense shows it could only be created and was part of a plan. I worship God and not a man made religion. Teaching children about God isn't brainwashing but educating them. Free will means you can always choose your thinking and actions. Sexual abuse isn't limited to priests as anyone who is well read and watches the daily news knows. This isn't about religion anyway. You believe what you want and you'll find out the truth when you pass, as we all will.

What I posted was an opinion, based on my experience here. You would probably need to move out of your circle of Bible-bashers to get the same experience.

 

So the rabbis and mullahs brainwash children, and Christianity does not? Get real.

 

What you call common sense is belief, with no science to back it up. Some of the nuttier sects even try to deny the evidence of evolution.

 

You believe there is a life after this one. I believe there is nothing, make the most of this one, because it's all we get. We'll see who is right soon enough.

[fredwiggy]

Just now, thaibeachlovers said:

I doubt you can find any western woman that doesn't think her "presence" wasn't worth a lot when it comes to the divorce. It's only non transactional as long as the payoff is yet to come.

When a divorce happens, it's already too late to do the things you both should have done to maintain the relationship, and it takes two. When people divorce, revenge is on many minds, to get even with those who have somehow hurt you, instead of looking back and seeing it was for the best, and moving on with someone who appreciates you for who you are instead of how much you bring to the table, meaning assets and not care. That's where a relationship was transactional and not relational, because relational lasts a lot longer, and is many times permanent. All a man has to do is admit what he did wrong the last time, and stop that behavior in future relationships, and find a woman that does the same. Most everyone carries baggage from childhood, and some never get over it and use that anger to hurt others in the future. Problem is, most people's character is developed by the time they are around 30, and change isn't easy.

[thaibeachlovers]

2 hours ago, SAFETY FIRST said:

Hopping on and off a baht bus to get to the bar for a few beers and fish and chips for dinner would be a miserable existence. 

 

I'd be lovin it as it would mean I'd be living in LOS which would improve my life 1000%.

[NowNow]

8 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I doubt you can find any western woman that doesn't think her "presence" wasn't worth a lot when it comes to the divorce. It's only non transactional as long as the payoff is yet to come.

 

What divorce? Obviously you made a mistake getting married to someone who didn't actually like you....twice.

[fredwiggy]

7 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I gave till I had no more to give, and walked away with nothing but a resolution to never get romantically involved with another western woman. I kept that for many years to my benefit, but made the mistake of thinking a Thai woman would be different. Was I ever wrong!!!!!

Personally, I'd rather never have had any woman other than a P4P, as they always provide a happy ending and don't take your house for it. Wooing with flowers and gifts is IMO for suckers.

In the end, women are not "special" and don't deserve the biased treatment they get from the law.

I always give a lot, and you have to because giving less than 100% in a relationship shows them you aren't really into it, thinking they can be replaced if they make a mistake, which all do. P4P works for your sexual needs, but doesn't give you the closeness a real relationship gives. Picking the right partner is the hardest thing to do, but when it happens, it's worth the wait, even if it's decades.

[NowNow]

7 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

Everything costs money, but taking care of your woman and family isn't about money. Providing is a man's job. I prefer providing for instead of paying for a woman's attention. They and I know the difference, and greed is something I leave fast. It's easy to spot, and never lasts as you can't please people who look at others as ATM's. Gold and cash never make people happy. They only buy things that wear out. Trouble is, real people who are looking for love and a comfortable relationship are the hardest thing to find, and most will never have it.

 

Providing = Paying. What are you actually 'providing'? You do write some nonsense at times.

[Lacessit]

4 minutes ago, NowNow said:

 

You are bitter due to your own behaviour and deficiencies. If you were so 'worthless' so as to put someone on a pedestal because you wanted sex, that's your own fault. I treated females as I would myself from the very beginning. That's likely why I haven't ever indulged in the pathetic P4P scene.

I have respect for myself and expect similar standards from them, otherwise, no matter how 'hot', back into the sea for them.

So many men sell themselves short and humiliate themselves. No chance to salvage any self respect and no longer care. 

You're back?

 

I am wondering how long it is before your next holiday.

[georgegeorgia]

12 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Rubbish. I could have a 1000% better life in LOS if I got the pension there. Life in home country on a pension alone sucks. If I didn't have savings my life would be <deleted>.

Unfortunately I am ineligible for the pension in LOS, or I'd be there.

I can't understand why New Zealand doesn't have overseas old age pension like Australia???

 

So all you Kiwis over 67 getting the Old age pension can't leave to live overseas ???