"Getting out of dodge" fall-out from a failed realtionship - Guide for dummies.

[watthong]

I'm in the process of ending a relationship, the other person has moved out (but still comes back almost daily ostensibly t to pick up stuff  but actually to moan and groan. (You can follow the nail-biting, cliff-hanging thread that I have posted on same forun recently.) I'm also in the process of preparing myself to re-patriate to the USA. What I have to plan now is get out of the rented apartment with a 2-month notice clause when moving out.

 

Earlier this week I called an talked to my Thai teacher, she's a few years younger than me, a single grandmother whose now main occupation is to take care of her 2 yr old grandchild. We haven't stayed in touch much since covid as I have moved out of town. She felt sorry about what happened since she also knew my ex. However, she suggested that I drop everything, the ex=partner especially, and come and stay at her townhouse, she has a vacant room on the 3rd fl. "For a month or two, that's fine. But you should "poy" ie ditch him." The "month or two" window is the time I figure it would take for friends in the US to find accommodation in advance of my arrival there.

 

So has anyone experienced this kind of US withdrawal fr Afghanistan style? Leave everything behind, just pack up your papers and your rolexes in a small roll-on suitcase, lock the door and walk out. I don't have any place to store all the stuff that has accumulated during the span of our relationship, and the couple of server-size tower PCs I use are just too big to take back with me. I would like to give the whole household to my ex. But it would entail another drawn-out never ending blame multiple day -session and I would have to be the one orchestrating the move, yeah, too much and not worth it. Re the building management, I don't really want to stay here for another couple of months just to honor the end clause of the contract.  The rent is due by the 5th of the month.

So what is the best plan of attack? Thank you in advance for your concrete, time-tested wisdom and foresight.

Edited yesterday at 07:36 AM by watthong

[scubascuba3]

If you need someone find someone new and stay here, drama over

[watthong]

3 minutes ago, scubascuba3 said:

If you need someone find someone new and stay here, drama over

 

Thanks for the advice but that's not what I'm planning. Read the topic tittle again, thank you.

[scubascuba3]

6 minutes ago, watthong said:

 

Thanks for the advice but that's not what I'm planning. Read the topic tittle again, thank you.

ok sounds like you are being a drama queen anyway, no real question in the op, just waffle that you want to talk about you

[Lacessit]

If you don't have one, buy a large suitcase and pack toiletries plus a week's worth of clothing. Leave any non-essentials behind. Take all official documents.

 

No forwarding address. Change your phone SIM and email address. Close social media accounts. Your choice to empty joint bank accounts.

 

Then, walk out. No goodbyes, you're gone. Never go back.

 

IME clean breaks are liberating.

[bunnydrops]

Yes once. I loved the girl with all my heart but we got to a place where we were always in disagreement. One day while I was riding in her car, we got into one of the never-ending arguments. I said "I think it would be best if you let me off at the next corner". I went home, packed my car and left the state. I left everything I couldn't get in the car and left her a note saying she could have everything else. That was 50 years ago and I was young. Much easier to do then. Believe it or not, she is still one of my best friends.

[novacova]

4 hours ago, watthong said:

So what is the best plan of attack?

A relationship that is taking a nosedive, then the only stuff that matters is: sanity, wallet and any important documents. All this of course should be at the forefront of any long term planning dependent on a relationship while living in a country on a temporary immigration status, anything at any moment unexpectedly can happen. As for myself, I can cutout at any moment and move to the other side of town or another province if the wife goes berserk.

[watthong]

5 hours ago, scubascuba3 said:

ok sounds like you are being a drama queen anyway, no real question in the op, just waffle that you want to talk about you

 

To you it's drama, to me it's real life. So attribute your "queen" title accordingly.  About real question I guess you weren't taught how to read between the lines.  Then go back to school would be your best bet, if it isn't too late already.

[watthong]

2 hours ago, bunnydrops said:

I left everything I couldn't get in the car and left her a note saying she could have everything else. That was 50 years ago and I was young. Much easier to do then. Believe it or not, she is still one of my best friends. 

 

I can believe that...Sometimes what appear to be foes turn out to be great allies, same with mismatched lovers could be life long friends afterward, as in your case. To me this kind of silver lining often happenned in a "dog eats dog" work place environment (manager vs subordinate), as opposed to romantic one.

[watthong]

2 hours ago, novacova said:

All this of course should be at the forefront of any long term planning dependent on a relationship while living in a country on a temporary immigration status, anything at any moment unexpectedly can happen. As for myself, I can cutout at any moment and move to the other side of town or another province if the wife goes berserk.

 

Absolutely. In the back of my mind,  I always consider that living in another "country on a temporary immigration status" sets you up for  the "nuclear-code container" suitcase state of mind. The one you take with you on AirForce One and out of Washington.

Edited 18 hours ago by watthong

[mogandave]

As long as it’s big enough for your passports,  all your Rolexes and a box of condoms that’s all you really need! 

[alanrchase]

Did you buy the Rolexes from Bob when he left?

[JamesPhuket10]

I don't see what the problem is.

 

I have my UK banks on my iPhone as apps, the money is available anywhere in the world.

 

My property is in the UK hence untouchable here, I only send what I need to live on to my Thai Bank account which is also an app.

 

I have three thousand pounds in cash in case I need a quick exit.

 

The 800k baht in my Thai bank account used to extend my annual visa can be sent to the UK at the click of a button.

 

I have been living in Thailand for two years full time but have been visiting for thirty years, I know it is not permanent seeing as I am only allowed a year-by-year extension, and as the rest of us are temporary farangs, I have to report to the cops every 90 days.

 

Anyone who thinks they are living here permanently is living in cloud cuckoo land. 

 

[JamesPhuket10]

And of course, we are only hearing one side of the story. 

[kwaussie]

Just ditch everything and move on with your life, one door closes another opens.

[JamesPhuket10]

3 minutes ago, kwaussie said:

Just ditch everything and move on with your life, one door closes another opens.

 

 

But @watthong is trying to make sure the door does not slam into his face. 😃

Edited 9 hours ago by JamesPhuket10
typo

[GinBoy2]

Just pack what you absolutely need, couple of suitcases, pay the bag fees at the airport, shut the door and leave.

 

No one is going to chase you down in the US.

 

Just dust yourself down and start again

[FruitPudding]

Who even sees Thai women as relationship worthy?

 

They are only good for 1 thing.

[SAFETY FIRST]

16 hours ago, scubascuba3 said:

ok sounds like you are being a drama queen anyway, no real question in the op, just waffle that you want to talk about you

You are correct but it is the Pub forum, got to be expected. 

We have many drama queens here 

Edited 7 hours ago by SAFETY FIRST

[Luuk Chaai]

I was in a restaurant in New Orleans with my ( soon to instantly be my ex and 6 of her NY  Wall St stuffed shirt friends

 half way thru dinner I said I have to go .. they all assumed I was just going back to the hotel ...

I went and packed my suitcase , went to the airport and jumped on the next flight back to NY  ..  game over

Never looked back !

[Lacessit]

1 hour ago, FruitPudding said:

Who even sees Thai women as relationship worthy?

 

They are only good for 1 thing.

Mine is good for a lot more than that, and has proved it multiple times.

 

Sounds to me like you got burned.

[jippytum]

So you regail us once again with the fall out From your failed relationship.  In panic mode ecaping back to the States. 

Why don' t you grow a pair and look for another partner in Thailand. 

 

[spidermike007]

Once a relationship gets to that point, it is over. The sooner you leave the better. Pack all essentials, lock the door and leave. Change your phone number, email, etc. Don't leave a trace. No goodbyes. See ya! 

 

Life is way, way too short for this kind of nonsensical drama, unless you want to need the drama. Some guys do. 

[Yagoda]

Why would you be going back to the USA now ruled by the Big Orange Satan?

[Yagoda]

6 minutes ago, spidermike007 said:

Once a relationship gets to that point, it is over. The sooner you leave the better. Pack all essentials, lock the door and leave. Change your phone number, email, etc. Don't leave a trace. No goodbyes. See ya! 

 

Life is way, way too short for this kind of nonsensical drama, unless you want to need the drama. Some guys do. 

Yeah like dudes who still rant about Trump.

[Celsius]

55 minutes ago, Lacessit said:

Mine is good for a lot more than that, and has proved it multiple times.

 

Sounds to me like you got burned.

 

But then again you are paying her a salary.

[FruitPudding]

2 hours ago, Celsius said:

 

But then again you are paying her a salary.

 

Exactly.

[richard_smith237]

7 hours ago, alanrchase said:

Did you buy the Rolexes from Bob when he left?

 

I think he was dating Bob Smith...   !!! 

 

 

22 hours ago, watthong said:

the other person has moved out (but still comes back almost daily ostensibly t to pick up stuff  but actually to moan and groan.

[richard_smith237]

6 hours ago, FruitPudding said:

Who even sees Thai women as relationship worthy?

 

They are only good for 1 thing.

 

Given the 'drama queen nature' of the post, as highlighted by scubascuba below - I'm guessing the ex-partner is male...

... not that it makes any difference, but it does lend the a better understanding of the dramatisation of a breakup... 

 

Ops plans to move back to the US...   so he's going to have to leave most of his stuff behind anyway, or pay more than its worth to transport it. 

 

Two computers: Wipe them and sell them if they are worth much.

Moving out early: he will forfeit his deposit (which may be two months).

He should at least pack-up and clean his rented accommodation.

 

I'm not sure what else he is asking...  is he asking anything or just opening up on the forum ?

 

 

21 hours ago, scubascuba3 said:

ok sounds like you are being a drama queen anyway, no real question in the op, just waffle that you want to talk about you

[Lacessit]

4 hours ago, Celsius said:

 

But then again you are paying her a salary.

True. It's quite rare for Thai women to bring equal income to a relationship with a foreigner, and I am highly skeptical of those posters who claim they do.

 

All I can say is I am getting excellent value for money, for those who want to view our relationship in those terms.