A while back I met a girl on a dating app and we got to chatting. Within 5 minutes she was telling me that she loved me and wanted to marry me. She started doing some mad dances for me in front of the camera and blowing me kisses etc.

 

After 30 minutes she said I was the love her life, even though I had hardly said a word to her and she couldn't speak any English.

 

I hung up the call and blocked her.

There really are a lot of fruit cakes out there!!

3 minutes ago, Elvis Presley said:

There really are a lot of fruit cakes out there!!

Yup.  Posters like bob/colin/susan/ and elvis, there are 4 right there!!🤣

10 minutes ago, Elvis Presley said:

A while back I met a girl on a dating app and we got to chatting. Within 5 minutes she was telling me that she loved me and wanted to marry me. She started doing some mad dances for me in front of the camera and blowing me kisses etc.

 

After 30 minutes she said I was the love her life, even though I had hardly said a word to her and she couldn't speak any English.

 

I hung up the call and blocked her.

There really are a lot of fruit cakes out there!!

You lucky sod.

5 minutes ago, Stiddle Mump said:

You lucky sod.

I think I doged a bullet to be honest mate 😅 

18 minutes ago, Elvis Presley said:

even though I had hardly said a word to her and she couldn't speak any English

If a woman doesn't talk too much then I see this positive.

Maybe she thought the same. 

19 minutes ago, Elvis Presley said:

She started doing some mad dances for me in front of the camera and blowing me kisses etc.

Where is the video?

 

4 minutes ago, Elvis Presley said:

I think I doged a bullet to be honest mate 😅 

Hold the gun closer to your head next time and save us the pain

....and then you woke up....

39 minutes ago, Elvis Presley said:

 

There really are a lot of fruit cakes out there!!

 

and they post here too.... don't they "elvis" !

27 minutes ago, Ralf001 said:

 

and they post here too.... don't they "elvis" !

Not sure.

 

You have any inside info Ralf? 

1 hour ago, Elvis Presley said:

There really are a lot of fruit cakes out there!!

Not only out there. 

 

We've got quite a few here 

13 minutes ago, SAFETY FIRST said:

Not only out there. 

 

We've got quite a few here 

I know.

 

I've noticed since joining a few days ago! 

Ah, BotBoy Bob, sorry, I mean Elvis Pansy now, is it? A true man of mystery, constantly reinventing himself like a cheap Jason Bourne suit, but with more complaints about motorbike seats and bar tabs. Tell us, mate, what prompts these frequent identity changes? Are you confused about your own identity or on the run from a scorned 7-Eleven cashier? A vengeful taxi driver still reeling from your righteous one-star judgment? Or perhaps the legions of lovestruck dating app maidens, devastated by your swift and merciless blocks?

 

But back to your latest harrowing ordeal in the treacherous world of modern romance. A poor, innocent geezer like you, just looking for a bit of wholesome companionship on a dating app, only to be ambushed by a deranged temptress with the audacity to love you long-time and unconditionally within just minutes. The horror! The sheer madness!

 

One can only imagine your plight, a handsome, well dressed East-end bloke like you staring in abject bewilderment as she twirled her rump and pranced before you, showering you with digital affection while you sat there, throbbing todger in-hand, radiating raw masculinity through the screen. And yet, despite your minimal effort, she declared you the love of her life! Truly, the burdens of irresistible charm must weigh heavily on your broad and weary shoulders. Who would have thunked it aye, Bobby-Bubbles?

 

But fear not, gallant Colin, uh, I mean Smelvis, for you made the noble choice. You hung up. You blocked her. You protected the sacred purity of your DMs from yet another lunatic minger whose only crime was loving you too much, too soon. Stay strong, mate. The world of online minge milking is treacherous, but your valiant efforts to document these perilous encounters are an inspiration to us all!

1 hour ago, Elvis Presley said:

There really are a lot of fruit cakes out there!!

As the master baker you should know!

5 minutes ago, ChumpChange said:

your valiant efforts to document these perilous encounters are an inspiration to us all!

If you promise to deliver more of your hilarious critiques of Bob et al then I will have to agree with your comment above!

If not then it is just another of Bob's untruthful and pointless posts!

1 hour ago, Flyguy330 said:

....and then you woke up....

Bob never wakes up, he just stays in LA LA land all the time!

53 minutes ago, ChumpChange said:

Ah, BotBoy Bob, sorry, I mean Elvis Pansy now, is it? A true man of mystery, constantly reinventing himself like a cheap Jason Bourne suit, but with more complaints about motorbike seats and bar tabs. Tell us, mate, what prompts these frequent identity changes? Are you confused about your own identity or on the run from a scorned 7-Eleven cashier? A vengeful taxi driver still reeling from your righteous one-star judgment? Or perhaps the legions of lovestruck dating app maidens, devastated by your swift and merciless blocks?

 

But back to your latest harrowing ordeal in the treacherous world of modern romance. A poor, innocent geezer like you, just looking for a bit of wholesome companionship on a dating app, only to be ambushed by a deranged temptress with the audacity to love you long-time and unconditionally within just minutes. The horror! The sheer madness!

 

One can only imagine your plight, a handsome, well dressed East-end bloke like you staring in abject bewilderment as she twirled her rump and pranced before you, showering you with digital affection while you sat there, throbbing todger in-hand, radiating raw masculinity through the screen. And yet, despite your minimal effort, she declared you the love of her life! Truly, the burdens of irresistible charm must weigh heavily on your broad and weary shoulders. Who would have thunked it aye, Bobby-Bubbles?

 

But fear not, gallant Colin, uh, I mean Smelvis, for you made the noble choice. You hung up. You blocked her. You protected the sacred purity of your DMs from yet another lunatic minger whose only crime was loving you too much, too soon. Stay strong, mate. The world of online minge milking is treacherous, but your valiant efforts to document these perilous encounters are an inspiration to us all!

Did study creative writing at college?

 

You are pretty good I'll give you that!

22 minutes ago, Elvis Presley said:

Did study creative writing at college?

 

You are pretty good I'll give you that!

Thank you Bobby Saville. I never got a chance to go to college because I joined the YMCA. Alas, I thought Elvis had already left the building? Or is he still hiding out in Soi 6/1 running a Thai sausage stand?