Well lads, been stinking up me kit this trip, all sweaty socks and curry-stained keks, so I figured I’d take matters into me own hands instead of coughing up for a laundry service. Them places that employ people to do the washing charge by the kilo and it ain’t cheap, is it. Spotted one of them coin-op joints near me digs, grubby little setup with buzzing machines and a fan spinning like it’s clinging to life. I think, “Easy work, Lewie. You’ve got this.”

 

March in like I know what I’m doing, chuck me smalls in, bung in some coins, splash in some neon detergent, and reckon I’ll sit back with a cold bevvie while the machine does its bit. But soon as the cycle starts, the thing goes berserk. Suds pouring out the front like a foam party, machine rattling like it’s possessed. Locals giving me the side-eye, and I’m stood there nodding like it’s all perfectly normal.

 

Eventually it coughs to a stop, but me boxers come out looking like modern art. Calvin Kleins now Calvin Clowns. Everything’s either a different colour or still soaked like it’s done laps in the Chao Phraya. I could’ve wrung out me pants and filled a fish tank.

 

Think it can’t get worse? I cram the whole soggy mess into the dryer. Thing jams halfway and starts clunking like a drunk bar-tart. Shirts come out half-dry, half-manky, and everything stinks like used toilet paper.

 

Back at me gaff, I try drying it all under the air-con and with the hairdryer. Room ends up smelling like wet socks and melted plastic. Got me undercrackers hanging off the balcony like flags at a budget parade. Only clean bit of kit I’ve got left is the stuff I wore to the laundry in the first place. I’m sat here now in me last pair of pants, staring at a bin bag of ruined threads and wondering why I thought I was some kind of washing wizard.

 

So yeah, lesson learned. I ain’t cut out for this washerwoman life. Next time I get the bright idea to save a few baht, someone slap the coins out me hand and remind me I’m not a laundry queen.

 

Where did I go wrong, lads? Or is this just part of the rite of passage?

3 minutes ago, Lewie London said:

Where did I go wrong,

You went off your meds.

My first and probably last experience with a Thai coin operated laundromat was not good. Two machines were OK, but the third one started agitating when water level was maybe foot deep, and tore my underwear to shreds. Nowadays, if home washer goes out, and really have to wash something before repairman shows up, I just do it by hand.

Another day ..another problem for wor Bob ,just stay in and watch porn,

hopefully that will keep you out of trouble

 

regards worgeordie

Ask GG, he is the god of washing machines, air conditioners, coffee makers, electric dildos, anal vacuums, and every other home appliance one could ever want.