MAGA Man's Concepts of a Deal and the Art of Bankruptcy

[Lewie London]

Lads, so I’m sittin’ in a quiet outdoor cafe midday in Bangers, mindin' me own biz, nursin’ a cold Sing and enjoyin’ the fan blastin’ directly onto me sweaty nipps, when this geezer with a sunburnt red face, no shirt, and a MAGA vest two sizes too tight starts goin’ off about how Trump’s the greatest dealmaker since J.D. Rockefeller. “He's built an empire,” he says, like he’s recitin’ scripture. I nearly upchucked me peanuts.

 

I goes, “Built what? You mean the empire of unpaid bills, lawsuits, and failed logos on water bottles?” Honestly, if Trump’s a master negotiator, then I’m the Dalai Lama of finance. Let’s look at the track record. No less than seventeen businesses of his have gone belly-up, and that’s not me exaggeratin’. That’s not bad luck, that’s a bloody hobby. Trump Steaks? Gone. Trump Vodka? Flat. Trump Magazine? No one read it. Trump Ice? Watered down. GoTrump, Trump Mortgage, Trump University, Trump Network, Trump Shuttle, Tour de Trump. I mean, who names a cycling event after themselves like they’re Lance bloody Armstrong with a spray tan?

 

And don’t even get me started on the bankruptcies. He’s had between four and six major ones, depending on how generous you feel. The Trump Taj Mahal alone racked up $3 billion in debt within a year of opening. That’s not a business, that’s financial self-harm. Trump Castle, Trump Place Hotel, took a profitable place and buried it in £550 million of debt. Trump Hotels and Casino Resorts, Trump Entertainment Resorts, all went tits up mate. This ain’t capitalism, it’s performance art in ruinin’ things with your name on ’em.

 

Even the stuff he didn’t run himself but just licensed his name to, ended up gettin’ flushed. You slap “Trump” on a box of cereal and the milk curdles on contact. The only art here is the art of liquidation. I’ve seen better ROI from a drunk bloke investin’ in crypto during a Coinbase server outage.

 

But here’s the twist, right, this same bloke goes, “Yeah but politically, Trump gets stuff done. Best negotiator since Rothschild.” I says, “Mate, Trump couldn’t close a window in a hurricane.” Even The Economist, not exactly your lefty zine, came out and said Trump starts negotiations all day long but never closes ’em. Great at makin’ noise, sh*te at finishin’ the tune.

 

Take Ukraine. Trump reckons he could end the war in 24 hours like he’s got Gandalf on speed dial. But when he had the power, what did he do? Sends weapons, sure, but mostly tweets tough while Putin plays Risk with real countries. Still no deal. Just more noise.

 

And Gaza? Trump loves to point at the Abraham Accords like they’re the Treaty of Versailles. But the reality? He recognised Jerusalem as Israel’s capital without even pretendin’ to care about the Palestinians. Now the region’s knee-deep in rubble, famine, and war crimes. Trump’s big achievement? Stirrin’ the pot and leggin’ it before it boiled over.

 

Trump’s never closed a good deal in his life, unless you count closing casinos, universities, and bottle factories. So I turns to this MAGA muppet and says, “Mate, if Trump’s a genius businessman, I’m a Thai kickboxer with a PhD in economics.” He looked a bit lost, like he’d just realised his MAGA hat doesn’t pay dividends.

 

Trump’s “Art of the Deal”? More like the art of never closing one.

[Mike_Hunt]

10 minutes ago, Lewie London said:

.

And Gaza? Trump loves to point at the Abraham Accords like they’re the Treaty of Versailles. But the reality? He recognised Jerusalem as Israel’s capital without even pretendin’ to care about the Palestinians. Now the region’s knee-deep in rubble, famine, and war crimes. Trump’s big achievement? Stirrin’ the pot and leggin’ it before it boiled over.

 

Why should anyone care about the Palestinians?  They are useless people. 

[still kicking]

17 minutes ago, Mike_Hunt said:

Why should anyone care about the Palestinians?  They are useless people. 

Racist comment

[Nick Carter icp]

I really don't think that this forum need yet another Trump bashing thread or even needs another   USA political thread 

[chickenslegs]

13 minutes ago, Nick Carter icp said:

I really don't think that this forum need yet another Trump bashing thread or even needs another   USA political thread 

It's satire, and pretty well done (IMO).

 

I'd like to hear his rants on the Dems, UK politics, Hamas, and Netanyahu.

[Mike_Hunt]

29 minutes ago, still kicking said:

Racist comment

Why do you say this?

[still kicking]

2 minutes ago, Mike_Hunt said:

Why do you say this?

Why should anyone care about the Palestinians?  They are useless people. 

[Mike_Hunt]

11 minutes ago, still kicking said:

Why should anyone care about the Palestinians?  They are useless people. 

That's a fact. 

[blaze master]

1 hour ago, chickenslegs said:

1 hour ago, Nick Carter icp said:

 

It's satire, and pretty well done (IMO)

 

It's really not. It's the same drivel thread after thread. Same style same tone zzzzzzzzzzzz.

 

Wake me up when the next new poster gives it a go.

[newbee2022]

2 hours ago, Lewie London said:

Lads, so I’m sittin’ in a quiet outdoor cafe midday in Bangers, mindin' me own biz, nursin’ a cold Sing and enjoyin’ the fan blastin’ directly onto me sweaty nipps, when this geezer with a sunburnt red face, no shirt, and a MAGA vest two sizes too tight starts goin’ off about how Trump’s the greatest dealmaker since J.D. Rockefeller. “He's built an empire,” he says, like he’s recitin’ scripture. I nearly upchucked me peanuts.

 

I goes, “Built what? You mean the empire of unpaid bills, lawsuits, and failed logos on water bottles?” Honestly, if Trump’s a master negotiator, then I’m the Dalai Lama of finance. Let’s look at the track record. No less than seventeen businesses of his have gone belly-up, and that’s not me exaggeratin’. That’s not bad luck, that’s a bloody hobby. Trump Steaks? Gone. Trump Vodka? Flat. Trump Magazine? No one read it. Trump Ice? Watered down. GoTrump, Trump Mortgage, Trump University, Trump Network, Trump Shuttle, Tour de Trump. I mean, who names a cycling event after themselves like they’re Lance bloody Armstrong with a spray tan?

 

And don’t even get me started on the bankruptcies. He’s had between four and six major ones, depending on how generous you feel. The Trump Taj Mahal alone racked up $3 billion in debt within a year of opening. That’s not a business, that’s financial self-harm. Trump Castle, Trump Place Hotel, took a profitable place and buried it in £550 million of debt. Trump Hotels and Casino Resorts, Trump Entertainment Resorts, all went tits up mate. This ain’t capitalism, it’s performance art in ruinin’ things with your name on ’em.

 

Even the stuff he didn’t run himself but just licensed his name to, ended up gettin’ flushed. You slap “Trump” on a box of cereal and the milk curdles on contact. The only art here is the art of liquidation. I’ve seen better ROI from a drunk bloke investin’ in crypto during a Coinbase server outage.

 

But here’s the twist, right, this same bloke goes, “Yeah but politically, Trump gets stuff done. Best negotiator since Rothschild.” I says, “Mate, Trump couldn’t close a window in a hurricane.” Even The Economist, not exactly your lefty zine, came out and said Trump starts negotiations all day long but never closes ’em. Great at makin’ noise, sh*te at finishin’ the tune.

 

Take Ukraine. Trump reckons he could end the war in 24 hours like he’s got Gandalf on speed dial. But when he had the power, what did he do? Sends weapons, sure, but mostly tweets tough while Putin plays Risk with real countries. Still no deal. Just more noise.

 

And Gaza? Trump loves to point at the Abraham Accords like they’re the Treaty of Versailles. But the reality? He recognised Jerusalem as Israel’s capital without even pretendin’ to care about the Palestinians. Now the region’s knee-deep in rubble, famine, and war crimes. Trump’s big achievement? Stirrin’ the pot and leggin’ it before it boiled over.

 

Trump’s never closed a good deal in his life, unless you count closing casinos, universities, and bottle factories. So I turns to this MAGA muppet and says, “Mate, if Trump’s a genius businessman, I’m a Thai kickboxer with a PhD in economics.” He looked a bit lost, like he’d just realised his MAGA hat doesn’t pay dividends.

 

Trump’s “Art of the Deal”? More like the art of never closing one.

Thank you again.❤️

It's all you have to know about this useless wannabe deal maker/breaker. 

[theshu25]

3 hours ago, blaze master said:

 

It's really not. It's the same drivel thread after thread. Same style same tone zzzzzzzzzzzz.

 

Wake me up when the next new poster gives it a go.

Any clown that starts with ok lads, trying to be funny when all the same every time.Not funny.

[dinsdale]

What's your next name name going to be Bob?

[Mike_Hunt]

Even the Teamsters hate the Democrats.