Is paying the bar to take a girl out of the bar justified? Or just a scam?

[Bruce Aussie]

Fools and their money are easily parted 

Pay a pimp for a prostitutes, with luck you might evade a dose of the clap or a fall from an upper floor.

Bar flies.😄

[khunPer]

16 hours ago, BusyB said:

 

Highly unlikely with that age difference. In 10 years he'll be 67, retired and growing older, at least starting to ponder death ... mentally and physically in a totally different place to her. She'll be 36 and in the prime of life, bursting with beans, libido and energy with a whole life to look forward to. Chances of that holding in a mutually beneficial and happy way are minimal.

 

Tell him not to build a house or go near high balconies in Pattaya.

Not unlikely at all. It's totally depending of personality and life-style. I met my present Thai girlfriend when I was 54 and she was 23. So, about same age difference. I'm 75 years young now, and we are both still in prime of our life and in same both mentally and physically place...

[baansgr]

33 minutes ago, madone said:

never have a seen such a confidently spoken complete crock of <deleted>. The hookers family will lose face if she quits the job.

for <deleted> sake, get real

 

You're obviously a newbie 👍 

[paddypower]

On 6/19/2025 at 8:08 AM, frank83628 said:

Why on earth do you old guys think these girls like you

my wife & I (both western)  were chatting to 2 young (mid 30's sisters (both divorced) who are friends/acquaintances ( we  buy health supplements from the company they work for company for) . Their answers  sort of shocked us into realizing that western preconceptions are wasted here. whether you're talking about bar girls, or not.  to answer your question why ? ' because 'older men from the West are soft and make better husbands'., no wonder Thailand is called LOS 

[paddypower]

2 minutes ago, khunPer said:

Not unlikely at all. It's totally depending of personality and life-style. I met my present Thai girlfriend when I was 54 and she was 23. So, about same age difference. I'm 75 years young now, and we are both still in prime of our life and in same both mentally and physically place...

if true , that is awesome .

[Hummin]

27 minutes ago, MalcolmB said:

 

 

The 40,000 baht loan is secured by the lenders with a family rice field in Burirum supposedly. And she is claiming that she didn’t loan the money herself, it was someone else in the family and used to pay off another debt.
 

If it isn’t done this week he will be walking away and leaving her in bar with her never ending debt problem.

He has been with another girl the last two nights. 
 

Looking increasingly likely he will pull out and she will eventually lose the rice field.

I’m sure this is a wind up, but we all heard the story before, and know 100% this is just the first step to disaster. 
 

Not many people are that stupid starting a relationship with a lady in trouble caused by family.

 

It will be a never ending misery. 
 

Nobody pays a girl to quit a bar. Many girls travels frequently with long time bf’s, and come and go as pleases them. 
 

Most bar owners let their girls go and come back, because good staff is difficult to get. 
 

A man who starts their long time relationship buying them out of bar or dept, should understand this only the beginning 

 

There is one simple rule to start a relationship 

Know her family and friends, and is there anyone who creates problem for the girl, leave her alone, she already got to much luggage.

 

Talks bad about ex’es and her friends, troubled family, you know what you get. 

[kingstonkid]

On 6/19/2025 at 7:20 AM, henryford1958 said:

It's a job, she quits end of story. 

 

 

Not always that easy.  Chances are that when she came here (wherever that is) the mamasan may have hooked her up with a place to stay and be one of the people she owes money to.

 

What does he pay in fines when he comes to visit?

 

As far a quitting yeah she can do that it is as easy as evryone thinks but if there id money involved.

 

Also There is a very good chance that this is a scam and she may have other friends paying her.  Some of these girls do well with scheduling friends.

 

Personally I would walk away from this.  The next question though is how does he really now that she is going to quit and move  to Buriram and be a good girl while he is in the UK>

[khunPer]

13 minutes ago, paddypower said:

if true , that is awesome .

Thanks... it's indeed very true...

[MalcolmB]

10 minutes ago, kingstonkid said:

Personally I would walk away from this.  The next question though is how does he really now that she is going to quit and move  to Buriram and be a good girl while he is in the UK>

Video calls.

[kingstonkid]

1 minute ago, MalcolmB said:

Video calls.

 

LOL  You do realize that backgrounds can be faked, cameras can break and they can get busy.  

 

There is o fool proof way to know what she is doing after you have paid all the money.  

 

Answer this

 

He You pay the money.  She moves back to Buriram for a few weeks (BTW there are bars there as well)  

 

She then moves back to Bangkok or wherever and takes up her job again.

 

What can he do about the money he spent (Nothing)

[Issanraider]

Is your friend a new visitor to Thailand if not surely he must be aware of the many scams that go on to relieve gullible farangs of their money?

The girl can leave the bar at any time but as correctly stated above she would struggle to get employment in any bar in close proximity to the bar concerned in future.

Unless your friend is living here permanently it is almost certain that the girl will be straight back to bar work as soon as he is heading back home only to return to Buriram a short while before his next visit.

I know this from experience many years ago when despite being a regular visitor to Thailand I made the mistake of falling for a stunning bar girl of about the same age as your friends girlfriend and I asked her to give up bar work and go back to her village.

 I Was sending her money every month and making weekly phone calls and every time I visited her she met me with her family at Udon Thani airport.

 I found out after a year or so that she was going back to her bar as soon as I headed home and had 2 other farangs sponsoring her!

You friend should realise that the age difference between him and this girl means that there is absolutely no future in this relationship and he should bale out asap.

Feel free to show him this post or message me although I’m sure his response will be “this girl is different from the others”

[Satcommlee]

Two options...

 

1) She is colluding with the bar and wants to be alaays welcome back.

 

2) She sleeps with so many customers the loss if revenue for the bar is genuine!

 

 

[madone]

45 minutes ago, baansgr said:

You're obviously a newbie 👍 

yeah the last 30 years went by in a minute.

[Sydebolle]

Sick buffalo alarm going off again! 

[baansgr]

44 minutes ago, madone said:

yeah the last 30 years went by in a minute.

See, newbie

[frank83628]

1 hour ago, khunPer said:

Not unlikely at all. It's totally depending of personality and life-style. I met my present Thai girlfriend when I was 54 and she was 23. So, about same age difference. I'm 75 years young now, and we are both still in prime of our life and in same both mentally and physically place...

What did you have in common with that age gap culture and language differences?

[MalcolmB]

11 minutes ago, frank83628 said:

What did you have in common with that age gap culture and language differences?

Sounds like a dream to me.

100 times more fun than listening to some old western Karen.

[cowellandrew]

Next months exciting episode is how do I get my 26 year old girl friend a visa to London!

 

🤔😂😂😂😂😂

[khunPer]

23 hours ago, frank83628 said:

What did you have in common with that age gap culture and language differences?

Plenty. I'll tell slightly detailed, as others might be also be interested in how it worked well for me and her.

1) For the language gap I invested in en English language school to improve her already modest English. Doing that is a benefit for both me – if the relationship lasts – and her, as good English skills improve job possibilities and salary. The same school also had en IT-course, so Word and Office got included in the tuition. We are back in 2004, where IT and computers were uncommon in Thai school-system, even rare in many government offices.

 

I had her to quit her work as receptionist in a small hotel or guesthouse, se she could learn full time. I paid her living costs and we had long-time rented a bungalow bungalow in a different part of the country, to where she had been working; i.e. she moved from Hua Hun to Samui, if you wish the details. The rest is a matter of mutual trust in each other – thais are also sceptical about farangs... 

 

2) Culture gap is depending of both parts, if both are ready to learn and accept other culture. Part was leaning my future girlfriend about my Western culture. So the following European summer I "invited" her the visa-possible periode three month to Denmark, and furthermore started with more impressions of European culture by a holiday to Paris in France. Visiting neighbouring Sweden was self-understood, also some of the Danish cultural stuff like castles, museum and other events.

 

Living in my country was a compromise of two cultures, where we had Thai food when she cooked, and I made farang-food when I cooked; and when we were dining out it was foreign food for her. She also learned how to make farang food and was an excellent host for summer garden parties taking care of BBQ-steaks and accessories.

 

The following two years we repeated the same in the summer, having holiday trips to Italy – Rome, Neapels and Venice – the next year, and Britain the third year. Each year new culture events to visit in Denmark. We mingled with my Danish friends – only one of them had a Thai wife – so there was not what often happens when a Thai girlfriend visit a farang in his home country, where the circle of friends change to be Thai-oriented – the whole idea was to teach about my home country's farang-culture.

 

The plan had all time been that I would change four seasons with pleasant all-year-summer – she was not interested in moving to mu country, she told me right from the beginning – so, the remaining 9 month of each European cold period I commuted between Denmark and Thailand, 6-7 times a year ("Always look at the bright side of life": THAI punished me with a gold card and always upgraded me to business class, my lovely girlfriend never tried a monkey class trip to Europe...😀).

 

After I moved to Thailand we still travelled to Europe as tourists, and also visited Singapore and Cambodia.

 

In Thailand I would buy her any books she wanted – she loved to read, and there was no soap-opera TV in the bungalow – to improve her interest. She chose mainly Thai-translations of Western book, among these the Harry Potter-series and Dan Browns book beginning with "The Da Vinci Code". This was great, as we could enjoy the films together when they appeared, and furthermore first years European trip to Paris included Louvre, which was part of the da Vinci Code – the reason for my choice of destiantion, because it had meaning for her – next year Rome and the Vatican, as that was the following year's Dan Brown-book.

 

3) Our age gap is almost 32 years – me from 1949, her from 1981 – but I works well. She considers me to teach her due to my longer life-experience. I need her to teach me about Thai culture – many of the several books about Thai culture and relationships came later – it was especially important when visiting the Isaan-area, where she originated from; she comes from the Khmer-area. Also, I'm more into contemporary music than nostalgic 60s and 70s stuff. And then I like partying in the nightlife – that one of the reasons to chose Samui – and enjoy the funky newer music; I'm actually a fair, if not cool, dancer and prefers house music.

 

Age gap becomes small in time. I was more than double her age when we met – 22 vs. 54 – now we heading for only one third,  44 vs almost 76. We still head out in the night life together, enjoys concerts together, both dine out or candlelight dinner for two at home, some times shopping together – some times better to be alone, when I look for things a man is interested in, and she wish to try an endless row of clothes or similar check of makeup – seeing new films or taking a trip up to Bangkok for some event like a concert, etc. Furthermore we daily talk about what happens in the news, both Thailand and the World; She would normally by little more up to date with the Thai news as I have to wait until ASEAN NOW and other English sources gets it translated next day, while I might be a bit on the forefront with World news.

 

But we also – and that might be equal important – give each other time. So, she is better of alone with her friends than taking a farang to sit alone in a corner not interested in what girls chats about and hardly understand it, if he was interested. The same when some of my Danish friends visits me. Subject might not be of interest for a Thai – some talks much about the happy old nostalgic time – and often change of language to Danish is preferred, as not all are that good in speaking English, which is needed to be polite to the Thai, sitting by the table. In that way we avoid boring situations, when we do not share interests.

 

- - -

A young lady with no children might be interested in having family, and since I never had found money and time for it at home, I was also interested in having an heir. Therefore the single moms in their 40s in my home country, who was interested in me, had no interest at all from my side. So, a young girlfriend would be a perfect match – and we got a daughter together, she is soon leaving the teen-era.

 

In conclusion: "Nobody is perfect", but "some like it hot", a young or younger partner og spouse – we are not married, just boyfriend/girlfriend, it's more easy. So far we have been able to share a fair level of culture and interest for 22 years; and as I'm planning for at least 22 more years, she might at one point need to accept to take care of a grumphy old man...

[BusyB]

On 6/22/2025 at 10:45 AM, khunPer said:

Not unlikely at all. It's totally depending of personality and life-style. I met my present Thai girlfriend when I was 54 and she was 23. So, about same age difference. I'm 75 years young now, and we are both still in prime of our life and in same both mentally and physically place...

 

Enjoy. I did say 'highly unlikely'.

[Equatorial]

10 hours ago, khunPer said:

In conclusion: "Nobody is perfect", but "some like it hot", a young or younger partner og spouse – we are not married, just boyfriend/girlfriend, it's more easy. So far we have been able to share a fair level of culture and interest for 22 years; and as I'm planning for at least 22 more years, she might at one point need to accept to take care of a grumphy old man

 

Good for you, @khunPer! Most people are cynical simply because they got burned. But I believe it takes two to tango, and one's experience is a function of keeping a positive attitude and making the right decisions. 

[Magictoad]

I think it is absolutely justified because when she leaves the bar the customer will buy less drinks. The girls are there for 8 hours and during that time they will be charming, cajoling, persuading customers to buy them drinks. If they leave they are not in the bar to encourage the customers to buy drinks. That is profits lost. The "bar fine" covers that lost profit.