Dealing with the inevitable demands for money from a Thai

[mstevens]

It all comes back to the sort of relationship you wish to have.

 

Some guys are happy to be in a relationship with a lady they support financially. This is often the case if you're dating a much younger lady / a former bargirl / a lady who would otherwise be out of your league. In relationships like this, money is certainly a bit part of the reason she's with you.

 

Personally, I prefer to date a woman closer to my own age who is educated, enjoys work and values a degree of financial independence.

 

If you are dating a lady and supporting her financially, you need to be clear from the outset the level of financial support you're able to provide AND STICK WITH IT. It might be that you pay for everything and give her 20,000 baht per month which she can do with as she pleases She then has to plan how to use that money accordingly. If she runs out of money before the end of the month, she has to wait until the calendar rolls over to the next month.

 

Many of the problems with constant requests for money are because reasonable boundaries were not set from the outset. Be fair, but firm.

[Geoff914]

4 minutes ago, Celsius said:

 

From what university?

I don't know. 

[Geoff914]

3 minutes ago, mstevens said:

It all comes back to the sort of relationship you wish to have.

 

Some guys are happy to be in a relationship with a lady they support financially. This is often the case if you're dating a much younger lady / a former bargirl / a lady who would otherwise be out of your league. In relationships like this, money is certainly a bit part of the reason she's with you.

 

Personally, I prefer to date a woman closer to my own age who is educated, enjoys work and values a degree of financial independence.

 

If you are dating a lady and supporting her financially, you need to be clear from the outset the level of financial support you're able to provide AND STICK WITH IT. It might be that you pay for everything and give her 20,000 baht per month which she can do with as she pleases She then has to plan how to use that money accordingly. If she runs out of money before the end of the month, she has to wait until the calendar rolls over to the next month.

 

Many of the problems with constant requests for money are because reasonable boundaries were not set from the outset. Be fair, but firm.

It is interesting that you said out of their league then quote the case of dating a bar girl. I learnt from my first relationship, and some what mirrored by you youngest brother. Is to stick with your own social standing and education attainments. Yep bar girls were fine for the first few holidays to Thailand, in my case in the early 80s, great fun but no means to sustain a long term relationship. I am not interested in teaching a bar girl how to speak conversational English. To me out my league is a high flyer, confidence by the ton, first class degree. I don't see bar girls as out of league. Most of then now are fat and not even stunners. Oh and you have to like tattoos.

"Personally, I prefer to date a woman closer to my own age who is educated, enjoys work and values a degree of financial independence." I go along with that, may be not too close my own age.

 

[Celsius]

17 minutes ago, Geoff914 said:

I don't know. 

 

Met her friends?

[Geoff914]

3 minutes ago, Celsius said:

 

Met her friends?

Yes.

 

[DonniePeverley]

4 hours ago, it is what it is said:

 

not inevitable at all, i've dated countless thai women, not one wanted money from me. in fact my current gf wants to buy me a condo. i feel the OP hasn't been to thailand, dosen't understand thailand,

 

 

 

This didn't happen did it?

 

Bless for the imagination though. 

[scubascuba3]

Are you paying her a monthly salary on top of these extra amounts?

 

If you don't want to pay just say you can't and make any excuse they do it all the time.

 

The more you pay the more they don't like you

[SAFETY FIRST]

7 hours ago, Geoff914 said:

Dealing with the inevitable demands for money from a Thai

I love these Dear Abby threads 😂

 

Geoff, my girlfriend Fon, knows your girlfriend, they talk regularly, you're gf is constantly complaining to Fon about you. Your gf prefers to have sex with a younger, fit, good smelling dude but she puts up with your bad habits, you being overweight, your old, wrinkly skin, bad breath, your poor diet and choice of clothing, your constant whinging and whining about your money situation. 

 

I think it's time to dig a bit deeper, find the money Geoff, she will leave y ou.

A smart, pretty, young woman don't grow on trees. These women require money to maintain their quality appearance.

If you are out of money, there's a thread running about cleaning up a homeless chick. 

 

 

 

[short-Timer]

3 minutes ago, SAFETY FIRST said:

you're gf is constantly complaining about you being overweight, your old, wrinkly skin, bad breath, your poor diet and choice of clothing, your constant whinging and whining about your money situation.

How could any these old farangs (who are concubine shopping in Thailand) be so flawless? Surely he has to have a few faults?

[Geoff914]

26 minutes ago, scubascuba3 said:

Are you paying her a monthly salary on top of these extra amounts?

 

If you don't want to pay just say you can't and make any excuse they do it all the time.

 

The more you pay the more they don't like you

I don't pay her a "salary". Normally pay when she asks but the amount has been creeping up, almost like I am being tested. I did make it quite clear that I had expenses that I had to meet this month. Along side the standard fixed costs they were the Thai accountants annual fee, work on the house I have been trying to get done for over a year. Ask anybody from the UK what it is like to get plastering done. Finally found one who can do it and not charge a small fortune. I laid it on the like then the first thing that she wanted was 13,000 baht for her credit card. Had last month she not asked for an additional £528 sending her 13000 baht wouldn't have been a problem. I don't need to make an excuse. Normally the accountant is doing the accounts in March but I think he forgot this year and only did them last month. Had he been on time his fee would have been paid 4 months ago.

[Geoff914]

7 minutes ago, short-Timer said:

How could any these old farangs (who are concubine shopping in Thailand) be so flawless? Surely he has to have a few faults?

Right, if farang men are so bad the Thai women could always hitch up with a Thai man. I wonder what is stopping them.

[Geoff914]

5 hours ago, it is what it is said:

 

 i feel the OP hasn't been to thailand, dosen't understand thailand,

 

 

I first went to Thailand in 1980. I don't suppose your father had even met your mother then let alone done the business.

[lamyai3]

8 minutes ago, Geoff914 said:

I don't pay her a "salary". Normally pay when she asks but the amount has been creeping up, almost like I am being tested. I did make it quite clear that I had expenses that I had to meet this month.

 

Test her back. Just reiterate you've got no spare cash at all this month due to many bills, hope you'll be able to help out in August and remind her you just paid her more than usual which has left you a bit stretched. And see how much grace she reacts with. 

[short-Timer]

22 minutes ago, Geoff914 said:

Right, if farang men are so bad the Thai women could always hitch up with a Thai man. I wonder what is stopping them.

 

Sorry, but the more I read your replies, the more it sounds like you’re just wailing into the void about your petty financial problems. It’s bordering on pathetic. Sounds like a windup already. You’ve got two options: cut your losses and move on, or live with it while wallowing in your self-pity. Do you really think some mystical nugget of wisdom is going to drop from the heavens onto you from AN? Or are you just desperate for a dry shoulder to cry on? Maybe start a GoFundMe if you really want to milk it for all it’s worth, mate. 

[Geoff914]

9 minutes ago, lamyai3 said:

 

Test her back. Just reiterate you've got no spare cash at all this month due to many bills, hope you'll be able to help out in August and remind her you just paid her more than usual which has left you a bit stretched. And see how much grace she reacts with. 

That is exactly what I am intending to do.

[SAFETY FIRST]

1 minute ago, Geoff914 said:

11 minutes ago, lamyai3 said:

Test her back. Just reiterate you've got no spare cash at all this month due to many bills, hope you'll be able to help out in August and remind her you just paid her more than usual which has left you a bit stretched. And see how much grace she reacts with. 

Expand  

That is exactly what I am intending to do.

Ha ha, watch the sex dry up. 

 

 

 

[Geoff914]

8 minutes ago, short-Timer said:

 

 Do you really think some mystical nugget of wisdom is going to drop from the heavens onto you from AN? 

You know what, the thing that really put me off thinking of retiring to Thailand was coming across all the miserable old gits on Thai Visa. Same miserable old gits just a new name.

[jerrymahoney]

9 minutes ago, Geoff914 said:

You know what, the thing that really put me off thinking of retiring to Thailand was coming across all the miserable old gits on Thai Visa. Same miserable old gits just a new name.

But a good part of AN/TV is that, if you choose your lifestyle and location appropriately, you will ONLY have to deal with the miserable old gits on AN/TV.

[Geoff914]

4 minutes ago, jerrymahoney said:

But a good part of AN/TV is that, if you choose your lifestyle and location appropriately, you will ONLY have to deal with the miserable old gits on AN/TV.

5555555555

[scubascuba3]

51 minutes ago, Geoff914 said:

I don't pay her a "salary". Normally pay when she asks but the amount has been creeping up, almost like I am being tested. I did make it quite clear that I had expenses that I had to meet this month. Along side the standard fixed costs they were the Thai accountants annual fee, work on the house I have been trying to get done for over a year. Ask anybody from the UK what it is like to get plastering done. Finally found one who can do it and not charge a small fortune. I laid it on the like then the first thing that she wanted was 13,000 baht for her credit card. Had last month she not asked for an additional £528 sending her 13000 baht wouldn't have been a problem. I don't need to make an excuse. Normally the accountant is doing the accounts in March but I think he forgot this year and only did them last month. Had he been on time his fee would have been paid 4 months ago.

If she has her own job and money don't pay, be prepared for her to find someone else who pays more, who cares, loads of replacement girls out there

[short-Timer]

25 minutes ago, Geoff914 said:

You know what, the thing that really put me off thinking of retiring to Thailand was coming across all the miserable old gits on Thai Visa. Same miserable old gits just a new name.

 

Yeah, us “miserable old gits” are just seething with envy whilst your are loving life with your wonderful girlfriend that milks your wallet dry from the other side of the world. Keep living that dream, bro.

[Geoff914]

8 minutes ago, short-Timer said:

 

Yeah, us “miserable old gits” are just seething with envy whilst your are loving life with your wonderful girlfriend that milks your wallet dry from the other side of the world. Keep living that dream, bro.

I think I could survive in Thailand, just make sure that I steer clear of expats and retirees. Anyway I thought that they were all leaving Thailand in droves, can't be many left in Thailand now so steering clear should be quite easy.

[motdaeng]

5 hours ago, Geoff914 said:

Not online. I met her in June 2024 and I left Thailand in August. so spent several weeks together. Returned in early December and left early April. Other sponsors, yes I am aware bar girls have multiple sponsors. She is not a bar girl.

 

i think you forgot to mention "she's different ..."  

 

[short-Timer]

9 minutes ago, Geoff914 said:

I think I could survive in Thailand, just make sure that I steer clear of expats and retirees. Anyway I thought that they were all leaving Thailand in droves, can't be many left in Thailand now so steering clear should be quite easy.

That’s a brilliant plan, mate. Avoid every expat, retiree, sexpat, and especially miserable old gits like me, just a washed-up fossil with a fat wallet, an even fatter waistline, never any Thai girl dramas, and definitely not the type to whinge about it online if I ever did.

[Sandboxer]

8 hours ago, Geoff914 said:

or just plane stupid.

 

Lol....

 

[save the frogs]

17 hours ago, Geoff914 said:

Not online. I met her in June 2024 and I left Thailand in August. so spent several weeks together. Returned in early December and left early April. Other sponsors, yes I am aware bar girls have multiple sponsors. She is not a bar girl.

 

She is not a bar girl and being outside the country half the year is not a real relationship. 

 

[BritManToo]

9 hours ago, Geoff914 said:

I have been in relationships before with Thais before so I know what it is all about. Had a thai gf for a year and we do get on well. Well even the most ardent scammer is going to play along. Demands for cash have been slowly increasing  to the point that last month was unreasonable. Now I have been weighing up for while if she is merely a scammer. A week ago I laid it on the line that in July I had a lot of expenses  myself and that I could not give her any cash in July. I just yesterday had to pay 26,000 baht to the Thai accountant for company accounts and tax and currently by bank account stands at £26. I have an Am Ex bill for £600, Barclaycard is not due until the end of the month. Council tax £200, gas and electric £180, vets bill to put the dog down £140. Planned works on the house been put off for 18 months £3200. That is not to say money wont be coming in through out the month to meet my commitments. So having told the gf she can have nothing this month today she wants 13,000 baht to clear her credit card, and it is only the first of the month.

Now she is not stupid, she has a degree in Business Admin, or something similar, so running a budget should not be too difficult for her. So is she a scammer or just plane stupid. Or am I stupid, I think I know the answer to that.

If the sex is good enough, you'll pay what she wants!

1,000bht a night is a fair enough price.

[Geoff914]

27 minutes ago, save the frogs said:

 

She is not a bar girl and being outside the country half the year is not a real relationship. 

 

You are right it isn't but then I don't think I said that it was.

[Geoff914]

1 hour ago, short-Timer said:

That’s a brilliant plan, mate. Avoid every expat, retiree, sexpat, and especially miserable old gits like me, just a washed-up fossil with a fat wallet, an even fatter waistline, never any Thai girl dramas, and definitely not the type to whinge about it online if I ever did.

Seems you are the only one whinging.

[Geoff914]

26 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

If the sex is good enough, you'll pay what she wants!

1,000bht a night is a fair enough price.

Would 1000 baht cover a repeat session in the morning or is that extra?