3 nights ago I was out and about and my eye was a bit itchy, like some dirt got in it, the next morning i woke with a thin crust of eye 'stuff' on my eylash, I thought 'great! that must have been that bit of dirt getting washed out'

Not so

Since then my eye has gotten puffier and more leaky, I made an appointment with the eye specialist at the hospital but that meant waiting until this afternoon at 4pm. This morning I woke up looking like rocky, I stood in the bathroom looking in the mirror trying a few 'Yo Adriaaan's' and it looked good.

Driving is a bastard with one eye closed over, self treatment wasn't so good either, the eye drops I bought were easy enough, the eye bath was a bit of a bugger, I keep dribbling it into my mouth - tastes like a very fruity leibfraumilch - the shock of drinking eye bath leads to a knee jerk reaction which usually creates a vaccum with the plastic eye bath, this enduces panic fuelled leaping in the air and a good spread of the fruity eye bath juice all over my shirt - not sexy.

Not painful but itchy and it keeps weeping this sticky clear fluid, <deleted> me what is it?!! has anyone had anything similar happen to them? will I be a fly by the end of the week? I will be going to see the specialsit in a few hours but I'm getting a bit nervous!

Move along, there's nothing to see here.

It was just a normal, run of the mill bacteria-in-eye type infection, how gay of me. The doctor recommeded I give up my membership of the poo fight club.

First rule of Poo fight club; Don't talk about Poo fight club