Been here a few years now, married to a Thai, living outside a city with no expat bubble to fall back on. My Thai is embarrassing. Point at things, smile, hope for the best. I'm done with that.

The problem is every time I try to figure out where to start, I get pulled in different directions. Some people say learn to read first — that the script teaches you the correct tones and stops you developing bad habits from romanised phonetics. Others say just get out there and speak, mistakes and all, and the reading can come later. Both arguments make sense to me.

What I do know: Thai has 5 tones and no real equivalent in European languages, which means the ears need training, not just the mouth. Getting a word right once doesn't mean you've got it — you need to hear yourself get it right consistently.

A few approaches I've seen recommended that seem legitimate: daily vocabulary with phonetic notes in a pocket book (small, consistent, daily), YouTube channels built specifically for teaching foreigners (there are several decent ones), and immersion by deliberately shopping and running errands alone without defaulting to English.

For those who live upcountry or in Isaan specifically — central Thai and spoken Isaan are not the same thing, which adds another layer to this.

So what actually worked for you? Not what you read about, what you actually did and stuck with. Any honest input welcome — including "I gave up and why."

Thanks for any help.

Thais not only listen to you times, they listen to the context and can guess what you mean.

I bought a copy of the Fundamentals of Thai Language, read it, did the tests. Then read it again three times.

A friend said to me, Thai is all around you, on signs, billboards and menus. Try reading as it helps recognize words.

I started learning new words every day. Write them in a notebook. Separate verbs, adj, nouns etc.

Days of the week. Months of the year.

Learn simple sentence structure.

You can pay for online beginner lessons or just watch YouTube videos for free.

My Thai is decent, but I still watch videos every week just to practice.

You have a wife to practice with too.

Learning should just be fun.

Start reading after you've learned many new words. Good luck.

I learned Thai by writing it but I don't think that's really necessary.

My advice: Practice speaking Thai with a Thai person WHO DOES NOT speak English. They are far more accommodating to your leaner status.