You need to grow a set and say No. Tell them you will go to Temple and pray for "Good Luck" for them. That's what Thais do.

I tell them I am open helping with my time to listen, offer advice, and assist if they have business ideas. Otherwise if that's not good enough they need to get a 2nd job.

You do need to understand that depending on the job some are almost breaking even while working.

If they threaten to leave tell them "When one door closes, another door opens"

On 4/19/2026 at 4:38 PM, BritManToo said:

Probably better than losing standing to the parents of a Serbian refugee!

Serbian? Make that Somalian (especially if you come from Minneapolis).

On 4/19/2026 at 10:31 PM, josephbloggs said:

These are people who married bar girls or people much younger than them, right? If so there's your answer.

If not then it sounds like nonsense. All my friends who married girls of an appropriate age and that didn't come from a bar have settled here or in Europe and don't have these issues - none of them.

I was about to say something similar.

Plus these guys mix with other guys in the same situation and think that supporting the Thai wife, her family and the sick buffalo up in a small village in Isaan is the norm.

As a side business I had a 150 seat Thai restaurant in England, 99.5% of the customers were British but now and then there would be an English bloke with a Thai wife they had met in a bar and married, same complaints from them, having to send money to her family in Isaan and telling me it was the norm, I just kept quiet and laughed to myself, "No you idiot, it is not the norm", I thought to myself, one, I did not marry a bar girl and two, all the Thais I am associated with are educated and work hard, that is the norm.

It is the same in Thailand, I was once chatting to a four farangs from different European countries and I listened as the told each other what they paid for a car and a house in the wife's name and how much they paid each month to the Isaan girl's family, they asked me how much I paid and I said nothing, they did not believe me as they though it was the norm to do so, I laughed to myself again.

What desperate idiots they are. 😀

2 hours ago, BritManToo said:

While we can't agree on politics, many other stuff (like this) we can agree on.

But I was very lucky, living togeter after a week, married after the second week (how foolish was that), now 16 years on (and one son now 14) I'm still happy with her.

God bless you, you were extremely lucky, and it's likely that less than one in 500 relationships where the man got together with a woman after week, work out.

Time is always our ally.

I realise I’m going to expose myself to some undesirable responses here, but I have a sincere question. I am a woman myself, and for the record am celebrating 50 yrs anniversary this year.

How is it reasonable (in most cases) is it to think that a woman in her early 30’s is genuinely physically attracted to a guy in his 60’s - 70’s? Isn’t it rather understandable and perhaps inevitable that the young woman in question is seeking financial security rather than “love” in the first place? Hasn’t that thought entered your minds? Of course it’s an exit ticket from poverty and drab living. Should sincere love spring from that - obviously a bonus, but I think it’s quite rare.

I sincerely think many of you guys are taking a lottery ticket hoping to win when you marry someone who, generally speaking, is so far removed from your own culture or, rather has no idea what that culture is, and expect “true love”. You guys, are not spring chickens, neither are you generally in great physical shape, you are expecting her to be your maid, nurse, cook and lover and then “generously” give her occasionally a few thousand Baht and revel in your act of generosity. In many cases, she however, is wondering how long she can put up with this. Shes missing out on true love too, but sadly for many, it’s not an option.

Yes, I think many of these girls become “money grabbers” due to necessity - what option do many of them have?

7 minutes ago, Globalres said:

I realise I’m going to expose myself to some undesirable responses here, but I have a sincere question. I am a woman myself, and for the record am celebrating 50 yrs anniversary this year.

How is it reasonable (in most cases) is it to think that a woman in her early 30’s is genuinely physically attracted to a guy in his 60’s - 70’s? Isn’t it rather understandable and perhaps inevitable that the young woman in question is seeking financial security rather than “love” in the first place? Hasn’t that thought entered your minds? Of course it’s an exit ticket from poverty and drab living. Should sincere love spring from that - obviously a bonus, but I think it’s quite rare.

I sincerely think many of you guys are taking a lottery ticket hoping to win when you marry someone who, generally speaking, is so far removed from your own culture or, rather has no idea what that culture is, and expect “true love”. You guys, are not spring chickens, neither are you generally in great physical shape, you are expecting her to be your maid, nurse, cook and lover and then “generously” give her occasionally a few thousand Baht and revel in your act of generosity. In many cases, she however, is wondering how long she can put up with this. Shes missing out on true love too, but sadly for many, it’s not an option.

Yes, I think many of these girls become “money grabbers” due to necessity - what option do many of them have?

No undesirable response from me - you're spot on.

7 minutes ago, Globalres said:

How is it reasonable (in most cases) is it to think that a woman in her early 30’s is genuinely physically attracted to a guy in his 60’s - 70’s? Isn’t it rather understandable and perhaps inevitable that the young woman in question is seeking financial security rather than “love” in the first place? Hasn’t that thought entered your minds? Of course it’s an exit ticket from poverty and drab living. Should sincere love spring from that - obviously a bonus, but I think it’s quite rare.

No woman has ever wanted me, so I thought renting a young attractive one was a great deal.

Not sure she even likes me, but she's stuck around for 16+ years so far.

3 hours ago, spidermike007 said:

I agree with that, but many men come here with such severe levels of emotional vulnerability having been abused to no end in the West by women that are completely unreasonable and ridiculously demanding. So they come here and they find a woman who's actually comfortable manifesting the dignity within femininity and they lose their minds.

Also many men of a considerably less discriminatory nature meet women online, have absolutely no idea what they're dealing with, because they've never spent time together, and then they come here and immediately start engaging in a relationship when in reality they should just be having a cup of coffee to determine whether or not there's any chemistry.

Fools and their money what can you say? The only way to avoid this pitfall is to take your time, take a lot of time, a year or two perhaps, and when the demands start coming push back, learn to say no, and engage at a reasonable pace.

Many women are always trying to push the timetable as it's to their advantage, and it's incumbent upon us to push back.

You are right about taking time , but I would not limit it to a year or two, in fact I don't put a limit on it at all, one always needs to keep one's eye on the ball Its also important to gently let them know, subtly, them that you keep one eye on the ball, Strange things women, they don't like to be ignored

Learning to say "no" is paramount , also tell the wife , insist, from the first time it happens, any requests for money are to be made directly to oneself (not the wife) in person by the relative who is on the scrounge, that will put 95% of them off and if one of them ever does get the courage up to ask , refuse them immediately and that should put the other 5% off once the news gets round

Of course if she has a job and has her own money then that's a different matter,

On reflection it was wrong of be to describe the guys as idiots , The balance of their minds has clearly been disturbed I doubt anybody on here would accuse me of being "woke" and I detest the word "vulnerable" but in my opinion there is no better descriptive for many of the older, "recently single" guys who end up here

I don't think being a "cold hearted money grabbing gold digging whore " is anything to do with a lack of education or low social status, it maybe a career option for some women but there are good and bad people in all social classes.

35 minutes ago, Globalres said:

I realise I’m going to expose myself to some undesirable responses here, but I have a sincere question. I am a woman myself, and for the record am celebrating 50 yrs anniversary this year.

How is it reasonable (in most cases) is it to think that a woman in her early 30’s is genuinely physically attracted to a guy in his 60’s - 70’s? Isn’t it rather understandable and perhaps inevitable that the young woman in question is seeking financial security rather than “love” in the first place? Hasn’t that thought entered your minds? Of course it’s an exit ticket from poverty and drab living. Should sincere love spring from that - obviously a bonus, but I think it’s quite rare.

I sincerely think many of you guys are taking a lottery ticket hoping to win when you marry someone who, generally speaking, is so far removed from your own culture or, rather has no idea what that culture is, and expect “true love”. You guys, are not spring chickens, neither are you generally in great physical shape, you are expecting her to be your maid, nurse, cook and lover and then “generously” give her occasionally a few thousand Baht and revel in your act of generosity. In many cases, she however, is wondering how long she can put up with this. Shes missing out on true love too, but sadly for many, it’s not an option.

Yes, I think many of these girls become “money grabbers” due to necessity - what option do many of them have?

Not every guy is 70 with a 40 year age gap. Women are good under 45yo. After their bodies breakdown.

Why would a man want to date a 60yo woman? She is just as likely to rip you off! Not to mention most white women are annoying, can't cook with unattractive faces.

A man is better off dating a Thai for 10 years then replacing her with a younger version.

On 4/19/2026 at 4:33 PM, soi3eddie said:

Thai families also don't realise that, in Europe, earning is taxed typically 30%-50% (including national insurance). Also, cost of living such as rent, food, utlities and travel are far greater than Thailand.

You are correct but the biggest problem is that because the Thai populace do not receive financial learning in schools they do not understand tax, social security or anything other than the firm belief that we farang really do have a money tree in the back yard.

Whenever we talk to a new lady the first thing she asks is what is your job, you can be assured that even if one told her that your job was breaking wind into a glass jar and slamming the lid on it her reaction would be “aow you velly lich man you get big salary” completely without any understanding because to her every farang is very rich, we after all travel to their country from far and wide when few of them travel out of the village, unless someone marries her and takes her to his country and she then finds out that we work our rear ends off just to make ends meet but she never tells the family because when the light of reality comes on she will lose face.

44 minutes ago, Globalres said:

Yes, I think many of these girls become “money grabbers” due to necessity - what option do many of them have?

Nearly all women are money grabbers. Whites are the worst. They want a guy to work 60 hours a week to pay for a house they can steal with the aid of a court. The food is awful. The attitude is awful. It is amazing guys still marry them.

I’m starting to wonder if the pattern of Thai wives pressuring foreign husbands/

boyfriends to send money back home isn’t mainly a phenomena restricted to guys who have only spent limited time around the extended family and are at the mercy of their Thai spouses who can spin wild and endless hardship stories to play on the sympathies of the unsuspecting foreign hubby.

For one thing, it has not been my observation that many foreign men who are actually living in the Thai spouse’s village and are around the wife’s extended family on a day-in day-out basis are subjected to endless requests for financial assistance. Initially upon first arriving, perhaps, but on an ongoing/never ending basis? That seems to me to be fairly unusual.

It’s also been my observation, especially with younger bar girls, that money sent home is not for support of parents and even less likely to be for siblings, but it is actually for child support for the girl’s own children from a prior relationship. The possibility that she is squirreling money away in her own account for her own benefit in anticipation of or as a hedge in the event she ends up repatriating to Thailand after death of spouse or divorce.

Not being able to communicate directly with family members because of a language barrier also puts foreign men more at risk for being subjected to financial aid requests because it is always easier to make these sorts of appeals through an intermediary in order to save face in case the request is turned down.

On 4/19/2026 at 6:07 PM, Celsius said:

Can you imagine losing standing to a parents of a hore.

SAD

That's really not fair at all.

A third world family is doing its desperate best to survive and thrive. And apparently very successfully so. It's the first world loser of a similar social status as the family who couldn't score decently at home you need to imagine.

He's only getting his just desserts for attempting to exploit their situation. Not a smart move, but then again he's a loser of course. Thought he'd get an obedient sex toy and housekeeper for a pittance. Now he gets the tab.

No sympathy.

1 hour ago, Gecko123 said:

Not being able to communicate directly with family members because of a language barrier also puts foreign men more at risk for being subjected to financial aid requests because it is always easier to make these sorts of appeals through an intermediary in order to save face in case the request is turned down.

They all understand NO!

On 4/19/2026 at 11:54 PM, Rockyroad said:

A 300 baht shirt is often no better than a 50 baht shirt. If you give a woman 3000 baht and she spends it in 48 hours she is a fool. If it lasts at least 5 days she is sensible. You can tell a good one from a bad one with this simple test.

Let's get this straight. In your infinite wisdom, if a woman you've given 3,000 baht holds on to it for 5 days but on day 6 she spends the lot on lottery tickets and buying her friends beers and som tam she is sensible (and a good one). However, if you give a woman 3,000 baht and within the first 48 hours she spots let's say, a second hand washing machine and thinks "that could really help my elderly mum and make her life a little easier" and buys it spending all 3,000 baht she is a fool (a bad one).

Your logic (and I use the term very, very loosely) seems to be flawed.

3 minutes ago, Keeps said:

Let's get this straight. In your infinite wisdom, if a woman you've given 3,000 baht holds on to it for 5 days but on day 6 she spends the lot on lottery tickets and buying her friends beers and som tam she is sensible (and a good one). However, if you give a woman 3,000 baht and within the first 48 hours she spots let's say, a second hand washing machine and thinks "that could really help my elderly mum and make her life a little easier" and buys it spending all 3,000 baht she is a fool (a bad one).

Your logic (and I use the term very, very loosely) seems to be flawed.

If I give a woman 3000bht, its hers and it makes no difference to me what she does with it, or how long she hangs on to it.

Lots of control freaks on this forum.

22 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

They all understand NO!

The point I was making is that if the foreigner cannot communicate directly with the family member there will always be an intermediary, which indirectly ends up encouraging financial solicitations of this type because it allows the borrower to make the request while at the same time avoiding the awkwardness and loss of face that would follow should the request for financial aid be turned down.

31 minutes ago, Gecko123 said:

The point I was making is that if the foreigner cannot communicate directly with the family member there will always be an intermediary, which indirectly ends up encouraging financial solicitations of this type because it allows the borrower to make the request while at the same time avoiding the awkwardness and loss of face that would follow should the request for financial aid be turned down.

My wife also understands NO.

1 hour ago, Keeps said:

Let's get this straight. In your infinite wisdom, if a woman you've given 3,000 baht holds on to it for 5 days but on day 6 she spends the lot on lottery tickets and buying her friends beers and som tam she is sensible (and a good one). However, if you give a woman 3,000 baht and within the first 48 hours she spots let's say, a second hand washing machine and thinks "that could really help my elderly mum and make her life a little easier" and buys it spending all 3,000 baht she is a fool (a bad one).

Your logic (and I use the term very, very loosely) seems to be flawed.

Why are you living with her mum?

On 4/20/2026 at 1:08 PM, connda said:

PhilipHabib is feeling rather racist and ethnically superior today it seems?

Not just today, he's in his normal doing

3 hours ago, Rockyroad said:

Not every guy is 70 with a 40 year age gap. Women are good under 45yo. After their bodies breakdown.

Why would a man want to date a 60yo woman? She is just as likely to rip you off! Not to mention most white women are annoying, can't cook with unattractive faces.

A man is better off dating a Thai for 10 years then replacing her with a younger version.

And men’s’ bodies remain attractive? 😂

Guess I’m lucky; loving, honest, sincere relationship, financially independent, so

not kept as a circus pet, to be fed and looked after based upon my daily performance and your judgement thereof.

Guess it boils down to what you find important in life.

2 minutes ago, Globalres said:

And men’s’ bodies remain attractive? 😂

Guess I’m lucky; loving, honest, sincere relationship, financially independent, so

not kept as a circus pet, to be fed and looked after based upon my daily performance and your judgement thereof.

Guess it boils down to what you find important in life.

Men are ugly in general. But I wouldnt want to date a 60yo woman. No appeal. Women are great in their 30s, dirty thirties. After that it is all downhill.

Thai women are super nice. Well some of them. White women look like men in a wig.

8 minutes ago, Rockyroad said:

Men are ugly in general.

You are obviously using your personal situation to make such a profound and accurate description with regard to your specific case!

3 hours ago, Rockyroad said:

Not every guy is 70 with a 40 year age gap. Women are good under 45yo. After their bodies breakdown.

Why would a man want to date a 60yo woman? She is just as likely to rip you off! Not to mention most white women are annoying, can't cook with unattractive faces.

A man is better off dating a Thai for 10 years then replacing her with a younger version.

Your statement explains a lot about your current mental assumptions of social existence.

The type of person who considers a women as a consumable that can be replaced every ten years is either a rectal orifice or a MAGA sycophant > Or both !

1 minute ago, 0ffshore360 said:

Your statement explains a lot about your current mental assumptions of social existence.

The type of person who considers a women as a consumable that can be replaced every ten years is either a rectal orifice or a MAGA sycophant > Or both !

So you date old women?

6 minutes ago, 0ffshore360 said:

Your statement explains a lot about your current mental assumptions of social existence.

The type of person who considers a women as a consumable that can be replaced every ten years is either a rectal orifice or a MAGA sycophant > Or both !

The type of person who talks about Trump when the topic is about dating should be in a padded room.

28 minutes ago, Rockyroad said:

Men are ugly in general. But I wouldnt want to date a 60yo woman. No appeal. Women are great in their 30s, dirty thirties. After that it is all downhill.

Thai women are super nice. Well some of them. White women look like men in a wig.

Every time I refresh the page your reputation goes down by 5 points, and these type of replies are why.

Men are average looking in general. There are more handsome men and some, very few, are actually ugly. Bodies go downhill from habits but they generally still look okay but older. There is nothing wrong with older women, as they're more likely to treat you better.

A 60 year old woman who takes good care of herself can still be attractive. The same with the men, as it's all individual. Looks go, decency stays.

Would you rather be with a 35 year old demon or a 50 year old good hearted woman who has your back? Attraction is always going to be there anyway, so you look for someone who's attracted to you, and that you're attracted to, and grow old together.

Soon enough, you'll be old and softer than before, so should your woman toss you aside to find another man who's looking better or stay? Everyone goes downhill. Some faster than others but all do eventually.

Thai women and western women can be nice or loudmouth bitc*es, as I've seen both.

You're a western man. How would you like it if the women all eventually see you as a woman with a five o'clock shadow? I've seen thousands of older western women who are gorgeous, as I'm sure has every western man, especially if they treat the women well. When they don't, and are spurned, then they think all western women are bitc*es.

2 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

Every time I refresh the page your reputation goes down by 5 points, and these type of replies are why.

Men are average looking in general. There are more handsome men and some, very few, are actually ugly. Bodies go downhill from habits but they generally still look okay but older. There is nothing wrong with older women, as they're more likely to treat you better.

A 60 year old woman who takes good care of herself can still be attractive. The same with the men, as it's all individual. Looks go, decency stays.

Would you rather be with a 35 year old demon or a 50 year old good hearted woman who has your back? Attraction is always going to be there anyway, so you look for someone who's attracted to you, and that you're attracted to, and grow old together.

Soon enough, you'll be old and softer than before, so should your woman toss you aside to find another man who's looking better or stay? Everyone goes downhill. Some faster than others but all do eventually.

Thai women and western women can be nice or loudmouth bitc*es, as I've seen both.

You're a western man. How would you like it if the women all eventually see you as a woman with a five o'clock shadow? I've seen thousands of older western women who are gorgeous, as I'm sure has every western man, especially if they treat the women well. When they don't, and are spurned, then they think all western women are bitc*es.

I don't care what type of woman you like. I'm not you.

4 minutes ago, Rockyroad said:

I don't care what type of woman you like. I'm not you.

That wasn't about me.