1 minute ago, SAFETY FIRST said:

Porky pies mate

We all know why you are divorced, just have to read your many annoying comments.

AN forums should have an emoji to symbolise a divorce

AN forums should have an emoji to symbolise a divorce 😂

All you know about me is what I've said. That you think otherwise is on you, as you weren't there. You have 6 kids, and don't spend much time with any of them (your words), as your work is more important. I have 6, and raised them all mostly by myself. You date girls that look like teenagers. I date mature women, and always have. You insult foreigners, lumping most into a group. I'm not prejudiced against anyone besides idiots. Maybe you can't see the difference here.

3 minutes ago, Rockyroad said:

You don't even know what a fact is. Funny a few hours ago you had no clue about dating age statistics!

Another assumption, as I didn't comment on it, as it had nothing to do why Thai women prefer their own. Prefer is a choice. You go by AI, as you have little knowledge otherwise, and are still always proven wrong.

20 hours ago, Stevey said:

I’ve been in a relationship with my partner for 12 years and living half the year on average here in NongKhai, but this year the mask finally slipped. For a long time, I struggled to understand why she was constantly broke. I provide a 10,000 THB monthly salary for the household, and she has additional income from a factory job and a rubber plantation. Yet, every month, the money vanished within days.

I eventually gained access to her phone and used AI to help me decipher the local Thai slang and transaction history. What I found was a "dirty scene" of illicit substance transactions. The evidence is in the bank transfers: consistent payments of 400 and 800 baht to individuals known in the community for dealing. In this part of Thailand, where pills are cheap, these specific amounts suggest she isn't just a casual user; she’s buying in quantities (10–20 pills at a time) that indicate a heavy, daily addiction.

The behavior matches the "Yaba cycle"—extreme mood swings, narcissistic deflection whenever I ask a direct question, and strange excuses for disappearing to "the farm" for hours. When I confronted her with the screenshots and the receipts, she didn't deny it—she just tried to turn the argument back on me. Between the financial drain and a recent health scare (an STI she likely contracted through the high-risk circles she's frequenting), the reality is clear. My support isn't going toward our future; it’s funding a Yaba habit that she refuses to acknowledge. I’m looking for advice from anyone who has navigated the legal and personal fallout of drug addiction in a long-term relationship here.

Report her to the cops. If they bust her and find yaba, then she'll be placed in a medical program, although if she is holding too much it could mean prison - but it might save her life.

A word to you? Proximity. If you're living with a person who is busted holding methamphetamines, you can end up being charged with trafficking as well.

So report her to the cops on your way out the door.

19 hours ago, Stevey said:

It doesn’t matter what she does. I’m not leaving.

It's gonna suck when the police raid your house, find 20 meth pills, and you're both tossed into prison for trafficking drugs. The bar for trafficking is very, very low. But as we all say in Thailand - "up to you!"

I'll be waiting for the eventually AN local news article:
Nongkai Expat and LT GF busted for yaba trafficking, face lengthy prison sentence

Edited May 10May 10 by connda

@Rockyroad Stop trolling other members unless you'd like a time out.

Several off topic bickering troll posts and replies have been removed as this topic is about:

Just discovered LT Girlfriend is a Methamphetamine Addict

This entire thread has gone off topic and has turned into a trolling match to see who can issue the most insults. Multiple members are involved.

STOP!

Get it back on topic and stop this incessant, juvenile bickering. Everyone - grow up and act like adults.

17 hours ago, OldHand2541 said:

Talking from my own experience years ago, with a woman who I found out was addicted both to ya-ba and ya-ice.

She wasn't on the p4p game, just a typical thai woman, or so I thought.

A few months into the relationship, her extreme moodswings made me suspicious.

Some days she could sleep 20 hours per day (when she detoxed, I learned later)

Other days she could be awake for 48 hours when she was 'high'.

When I brought home a test for amfetamine, she went mental. It was a living hell. After a few days with the silent treatment from her, she finally admitted her addiction.

The next 2 months, she managed to stay off her addiction. The third month she started using again, became very aggressive and hateful towards me. I knew there was only one thing to do. End our relationship. I had to do it, to keep my sanity.

It took me a year or so alone, to move on, open my heart and find another woman. Today I'm very happy that I did. No regrets.

You are attached to the 8 year old boy that is not yours, and you don't want to leave him.

Do you want to continue live together with the woman and her son then?

Or do you want to legally adopt him if even possible, (which I doubt), and move to another place?

Can't imagine any attorney can do anything, unless the mother allow you to adopt her son, and get sole custody. Is that what you want?

Isaan lawyers or others can advice you, but for most of us who read your story, it sounds like mission impossible. "Cut your losses, move out", move to another part of the country.

I know this is not what you want to read.

But you're looking at months or years with legal fees, (still) unlikely that you will get anywhere. You just lose more time and lots of money in legal fees. Where goes your limit?

Her addiction is not going away, many of her friends also use. Can you continue live with that, and her lies, moodswings, tantrum, and maybe also cheating?

Consider your own mental health and stress level, in this extreme sad situation.

Wish you all the best, sincerely.

Thanks for relating your experience. Yes I have thought the mood swings were her being bi-polar or similar mental condition. She is literally a different person from one day to the next. She screamed the place down yesterday as I’ve learned everything from her phone that I’ve managed to access on the times she’s left it unattended and she gave me the code. I thought I was just up against gambling and her cheating on me because I have given her zero attention over the years we’ve been together. One could say she could have asked me for sex instead of looking elsewhere but she didn’t. The has become in the last 2 months something she wants daily so that’s not an issue so all I had was the gambling to deal with. The gambling I thought was the big financial drain and I feared, although I never had any intention of clearing it, that she most likely had a 100,000Baht debt somewhere. That thought hasn’t been a hindrance to me commencing this new sexual awakening (?) we’ve had in the last couple of months. But the fact that I’m now visualising an unhinged grubby meth addict wasting the money I could have put into an ETF on little red pills is not a turn on at all.

Just for clarity we’ve been together about 12years where the relationship was a distance one based in HUaHin where she was a batgirl then split for 3 years while she had a Thai man. She retired from the scene when her cousin gave up the bar called (I’ve removed the name)bar in Hua Hin where she wasn’t really a bar girl as such she was a family member there by request to supervise along with other sisters of her Cousin who had the bar bankrolled by Colin her husband in the diving game.

The real relationship started 7 1/2 years ago when I stopped by when I was on hols in early 2019 and found a girl in her mid 30’s in house that was barely finished up here in PhonPhiSai NongKhai. It was 4 walls a steel roof no ceilings no paint and no concrete outside just stepping out onto mud. As for her she had black teeth. That alone convinced me the boyfriend that had given her the 1 year old kid she was rocking in a cot has done one. I was convinced he would be around but Colin who was now semi retired in the next Soi after giving up the bar for rent to others advised me. The biological father who had given up a good job as head chef in top hotels in Hua Hin to follow her up to the village where she had had this house I’m in the toilet of now and get a job at the Centara hotel 45mins away in NongKhai as a chef. The house build had been paid for by Colin who had been tricked for the 200th time by his missus into buying my girlfriend’s small strip of land in the middle of a field surrounded by other land. He thought he was buying a prime strip somewhere from someone else. So her cousin had just turned her life around and give a shell of a house to live in in the village. As I say that’s when I turned up and my life in NongKhai started proper. One I realised I could have a dog, she had one puppy, I was sold. I looked at it all and thought yeah I could do this. She’s on her arse so how much could it cost?

That year in 2019 I went back another two times. I would sit outside the shack of a night having a beer with Gati the dog who was now my faithful companion, I have 10 now. She would go to the house opposite and as she put it “ eat food with Isan people. It occurred to me one night as a watched her laughing sitting on a table with her local friends, only one another female, could she like I develop an affection for one of these men which is totally natural. I caught one of those men talking to her alone at the family rubber farm a couple years later then in mid 2022 I found a device she had not signed out of on FB messenger which showed a chat going back to early 2020 proving they were lovers for at least 2 years and maybe longer if that started in 2019 prior to the chat history. She said it was over obviously I didn’t believe that but after my reading ability 3 years later and with the availability of AI I was now seeing that the chat I was looking at in July 2022 was her breaking his heart two as she was losing interest in him. The chat history that I made a video of and always have gone back to when we have fallen out for some reason consisted of them arranging to meet up at where ever generally a rubber plantation he worked/owned where she would bring him food. In 2020 when I was in UK Covid lockdown she would take Dang my Lad. Her boyfriend Lam Per-ee (after the poisonous yellow flower you see about) had fallen in love with Dang over the year I’d been away. Dang’s affection it turned out was for me only and little Dang pointed out the plantation to me as we rode past when he was older after I had discovered she was cheating in 2022. She would take him food. The chat also was her paying small money to casino games that they seemingly played when they were together.

In 2021,2022&23 I was around full time and she must have been taking opportunities to be with him when I was out in the day or running at night. We have Apple FindMy app so she knew my whereabouts so to avoid me finding her with him.

Pre July 2022 I was oblivious and genuinely thought she was asexually. I was faithful anyway getting by with porn when the feeling took me. What I plonker I was. When i discovered the truth and more interestingly that she was a sexual being I was actually massively turned on by it, to be honest. We started having sex for the first time in years since we had met. Unfortunately because the money trickery which led to bad feeling between us never stopped I quickly turned my back on her, literally.

So 3 years later on the 6 month trip over here I’m 3 months into I decided that this abstention from sex was ridiculous and I would put it on her like I do when I’m in the ring smashing my opponents, but in a loving way. I said Bon were alone with no children let’s go to the room, her answer was to look out the window and say “ are you crazy?” How weird I thought. “ Bon how is it crazy ? We’re together? “ “ I’m not ready she said. I was heart broken, she must have something going on and she doesn’t want to betray him. If we don’t do this now I won’t ask again ever. She relented and we went to the bedroom and broke the 3 year drought. She was ecstatic and I sort of pitied her in that I had held back what she wanted. The next week sex was every day instigated by her one night actually taking to me in a way she has never done telling me she just thought I didn’t like sex or her.

A week later the ole chap was stinging when i pissed. I went to the local private hospital where after some tests I was knocked out to hear it wasn’t a UTI but gonorrhoea. I went home and laughed while telling her that she’d give me ‘ Nong Nai ‘ she shook her head say she didn’t know what it was. After I made her aware exactly what it was. So she couldn’t deny it I then asked her when was the last time she went with somebody without protection and I was flabbergasted to hear that it was just before we had started having sex again. I couldn’t be more turned on.

To be continued when I’ve had a coffee

4 minutes ago, Stevey said:

Just for clarity we’ve been together about 12years where the relationship was a distance one based in HUaHin where she was a batgirl then split for 3 years while she had a Thai man

Bargirl, drug addict. Does she have tatts? I'm amazed it took you 12 years to work out she is no good.

These rollercoaster relationships just aren't worth it, should have ended it as soon as you saw the signs

17 minutes ago, Stevey said:

coffee

To have any chance of changing her behaviour, you need to change her environment. You must remove her from the village, her former lovers and her friends and fellow drug addicts.

So cross Hua Hun and Issan off the list of potential places to live.

14 minutes ago, Stevey said:

Thanks for relating your experience. Yes I have thought the mood swings were her being bi-polar or similar mental condition. She is literally a different person from one day to the next. She screamed the place down yesterday as I’ve learned everything from her phone that I’ve managed to access on the times she’s left it unattended and she gave me the code. I thought I was just up against gambling and her cheating on me because I have given her zero attention over the years we’ve been together. One could say she could have asked me for sex instead of looking elsewhere but she didn’t. The has become in the last 2 months something she wants daily so that’s not an issue so all I had was the gambling to deal with. The gambling I thought was the big financial drain and I feared, although I never had any intention of clearing it, that she most likely had a 100,000Baht debt somewhere. That thought hasn’t been a hindrance to me commencing this new sexual awakening (?) we’ve had in the last couple of months. But the fact that I’m now visualising an unhinged grubby meth addict wasting the money I could have put into an ETF on little red pills is not a turn on at all.

Just for clarity we’ve been together about 12years where the relationship was a distance one based in HUaHin where she was a batgirl then split for 3 years while she had a Thai man. She retired from the scene when her cousin gave up the bar called (I’ve removed the name)bar in Hua Hin where she wasn’t really a bar girl as such she was a family member there by request to supervise along with other sisters of her Cousin who had the bar bankrolled by Colin her husband in the diving game.

The real relationship started 7 1/2 years ago when I stopped by when I was on hols in early 2019 and found a girl in her mid 30’s in house that was barely finished up here in PhonPhiSai NongKhai. It was 4 walls a steel roof no ceilings no paint and no concrete outside just stepping out onto mud. As for her she had black teeth. That alone convinced me the boyfriend that had given her the 1 year old kid she was rocking in a cot has done one. I was convinced he would be around but Colin who was now semi retired in the next Soi after giving up the bar for rent to others advised me. The biological father who had given up a good job as head chef in top hotels in Hua Hin to follow her up to the village where she had had this house I’m in the toilet of now and get a job at the Centara hotel 45mins away in NongKhai as a chef. The house build had been paid for by Colin who had been tricked for the 200th time by his missus into buying my girlfriend’s small strip of land in the middle of a field surrounded by other land. He thought he was buying a prime strip somewhere from someone else. So her cousin had just turned her life around and give a shell of a house to live in in the village. As I say that’s when I turned up and my life in NongKhai started proper. One I realised I could have a dog, she had one puppy, I was sold. I looked at it all and thought yeah I could do this. She’s on her arse so how much could it cost?

That year in 2019 I went back another two times. I would sit outside the shack of a night having a beer with Gati the dog who was now my faithful companion, I have 10 now. She would go to the house opposite and as she put it “ eat food with Isan people. It occurred to me one night as a watched her laughing sitting on a table with her local friends, only one another female, could she like I develop an affection for one of these men which is totally natural. I caught one of those men talking to her alone at the family rubber farm a couple years later then in mid 2022 I found a device she had not signed out of on FB messenger which showed a chat going back to early 2020 proving they were lovers for at least 2 years and maybe longer if that started in 2019 prior to the chat history. She said it was over obviously I didn’t believe that but after my reading ability 3 years later and with the availability of AI I was now seeing that the chat I was looking at in July 2022 was her breaking his heart two as she was losing interest in him. The chat history that I made a video of and always have gone back to when we have fallen out for some reason consisted of them arranging to meet up at where ever generally a rubber plantation he worked/owned where she would bring him food. In 2020 when I was in UK Covid lockdown she would take Dang my Lad. Her boyfriend Lam Per-ee (after the poisonous yellow flower you see about) had fallen in love with Dang over the year I’d been away. Dang’s affection it turned out was for me only and little Dang pointed out the plantation to me as we rode past when he was older after I had discovered she was cheating in 2022. She would take him food. The chat also was her paying small money to casino games that they seemingly played when they were together.

In 2021,2022&23 I was around full time and she must have been taking opportunities to be with him when I was out in the day or running at night. We have Apple FindMy app so she knew my whereabouts so to avoid me finding her with him.

Pre July 2022 I was oblivious and genuinely thought she was asexually. I was faithful anyway getting by with porn when the feeling took me. What I plonker I was. When i discovered the truth and more interestingly that she was a sexual being I was actually massively turned on by it, to be honest. We started having sex for the first time in years since we had met. Unfortunately because the money trickery which led to bad feeling between us never stopped I quickly turned my back on her, literally.

So 3 years later on the 6 month trip over here I’m 3 months into I decided that this abstention from sex was ridiculous and I would put it on her like I do when I’m in the ring smashing my opponents, but in a loving way. I said Bon were alone with no children let’s go to the room, her answer was to look out the window and say “ are you crazy?” How weird I thought. “ Bon how is it crazy ? We’re together? “ “ I’m not ready she said. I was heart broken, she must have something going on and she doesn’t want to betray him. If we don’t do this now I won’t ask again ever. She relented and we went to the bedroom and broke the 3 year drought. She was ecstatic and I sort of pitied her in that I had held back what she wanted. The next week sex was every day instigated by her one night actually taking to me in a way she has never done telling me she just thought I didn’t like sex or her.

A week later the ole chap was stinging when i pissed. I went to the local private hospital where after some tests I was knocked out to hear it wasn’t a UTI but gonorrhoea. I went home and laughed while telling her that she’d give me ‘ Nong Nai ‘ she shook her head say she didn’t know what it was. After I made her aware exactly what it was. So she couldn’t deny it I then asked her when was the last time she went with somebody without protection and I was flabbergasted to hear that it was just before we had started having sex again. I couldn’t be more turned on.

To be continued when I’ve had a coffee

I think you see by now, in your own thinking plus what a few here have said, that you might want to just look for another. Everyone knows the attraction a woman can have on a man, and that makes us blind, especially if we care about them. Sooner or later you see what's really there, and move on to a place where you can be happier and not have to worry so much.

Your own line, "I thought I was just up against gambling and her cheating on me because I have given her zero attention over the years we’ve been together" This should tell you what you need to do the next time.

Most everyone takes their partners for granted a little over time, but it's imperative you do what you can not to, as it's the same person you fell in love with before, and they need the same attention you gave them when you wanted to be with them in the beginning. Sex gets routine, so you look at them for who they are, and not just a body to have fun with. That's maturity, and it takes a will to want to be that way.

Everyone ages but the heart should stay the same. You give yourself to them, and they to you, and that's what makes the love making better. Care and not just a want to get off. This is how people grow old together. You can make a good choice in the beginning, and she of you, but if you let that get stale, that leaves the door open for cheating and indifference, which is worse than hate.

Look at what you can do to make yourself a better man for the next one, and hope your next choice is a better one for you. Again, you already know what you need to do, and no one can tell you how you are or feel in your life.

If you love her, help her.

If you don't, leave now. Meth freaks can NOT be trusted. Ever.

8 minutes ago, MelanieK said:

If you love her, help her.

If you don't, leave now. Meth freaks can NOT be trusted. Ever.

Exactly. This type of addictive drugs needs a lot of measures to get out of a system. Will power helps but outside intervention is usually necessary as it takes control of their lives, and has them doing things they never would before to get a fix.

Those with them become enablers and get dragged down into it. Make excuses for them, feeling bad for them while they're only feelings is the next high.Hitting rock bottom is the best thing that can happen. Going into a program is how they get a start towards a better life.

Lie, cheat , steal or kill until they see for themselves how things are, and want to get the help they need. You can love them to death but their motives aren't anything more than how they know they feel after the drug takes hold. Like a person with depression, all you can do is listen, give support, and hope they take a little advice, asking them if this is how they want to feel. Wasting your money, cheating and gambling aren't part of a healthy relationship.

Edited May 10May 10 by fredwiggy

18 hours ago, fredwiggy said:

Quite true as a person who's self medicating from depression will use stimulants to get up to "normal", although their thinking and actions will still be off.

The crazy thing is that this is the first time I’ve come to Thailand with my newly prescribed ADHD medication which is Liz amphetamine. I remember saying three months ago when I got here what it was and I actually jokingly. As like Yabba except that my Liz amphetamine named Vyvance in the US just keeps me awake not high. I’m prescribed 40 mg but you have to titrate up to that when I’m here and my supply is not enough for the time I’m gonna be here. I sometimes just don’t take it for awhile and then I start again but tight right myself by cutting in the capsules in half and only taking 20 mg that seems to work for me. The reason why I take it is because I have, it is said, an abnormal ability to maintain dopamine in my head which is why I will eat a whole pack of chocolate bars or drink a bottle of wine and load of beers without it, but since I started taking it, I stopped eating chocolate stopped not being able to walk past the alcohol oil for the family size double chocolate cheesecake frozen section without buying it because the dopamine hit I’ve just seen it and then consuming it was what I needed. The moment I started taking Lisdexamphetamine I stopped wanting coffee. I stopped wanting chocolate. I was stopped wanting family sized cheesecakes and wine I recently found out that Liz amphetamine is a treatment for Yarber recovery but not in Thailand. I think they want you to go cold Turkey. It’s such a mental experience that three months ago I told her about that and all along I didn’t know that she was an addict. AI tells me that what happens with you but use us is they destroy whatever it is in the brain that responds to dopamine and it takes a long time for the natural rope dopamine to get them back to a Happy state. The people who can say no to a chocolate bar even if they haven’t had something to eat because I know they can have a piece of bread I’ve got no problems with the amount of dopamine that is residing in their brain.

18 hours ago, Celsius said:

Another quality AN thread.

Classy

I’ll think you’ll find all of my threads that I’ve started. I’ve been at this quality. I’ll have to have a look at what friends you’ve started.

2 minutes ago, Stevey said:

The crazy thing is that this is the first time I’ve come to Thailand with my newly prescribed ADHD medication which is Liz amphetamine. I remember saying three months ago when I got here what it was and I actually jokingly. As like Yabba except that my Liz amphetamine named Vyvance in the US just keeps me awake not high. I’m prescribed 40 mg but you have to titrate up to that when I’m here and my supply is not enough for the time I’m gonna be here. I sometimes just don’t take it for awhile and then I start again but tight right myself by cutting in the capsules in half and only taking 20 mg that seems to work for me. The reason why I take it is because I have, it is said, an abnormal ability to maintain dopamine in my head which is why I will eat a whole pack of chocolate bars or drink a bottle of wine and load of beers without it, but since I started taking it, I stopped eating chocolate stopped not being able to walk past the alcohol oil for the family size double chocolate cheesecake frozen section without buying it because the dopamine hit I’ve just seen it and then consuming it was what I needed. The moment I started taking Lisdexamphetamine I stopped wanting coffee. I stopped wanting chocolate. I was stopped wanting family sized cheesecakes and wine I recently found out that Liz amphetamine is a treatment for Yarber recovery but not in Thailand. I think they want you to go cold Turkey. It’s such a mental experience that three months ago I told her about that and all along I didn’t know that she was an addict. AI tells me that what happens with you but use us is they destroy whatever it is in the brain that responds to dopamine and it takes a long time for the natural rope dopamine to get them back to a Happy state. The people who can say no to a chocolate bar even if they haven’t had something to eat because I know they can have a piece of bread I’ve got no problems with the amount of dopamine that is residing in their brain.

The school my son was in had him taking Buspar, which is a weak prescription for ADHD. He, like many children, was a little over active, especially when young, but it's wrong to just prescribe instead of looking at giving them more to do. He has since gotten his pilot's license, graduated college, and is part owner of a home where he lives.

Teachers think a child must be catatonic. That it makes their job harder if a child is a little over active, seeing they have to take care of 30 other students.

There are thousands of people with an eating disorder and you'll never know. Food is addictive and tastes good, and is a means to aid anxiety, a comfort thing, and some medication can help one wean away from it, like it has you.

14 hours ago, pub2022 said:

I really don’t get how some people manage to make such a mess of their own lives. It’s like they actually need the chaos to feel alive. There has to be a name for that kind of sickness.

Adhd and on the autistic spectrum slightly. My dad spent from the age of 50 working tirelessly to build everything in Thailand with his wife who we then found out had HIV and then he finally retired about 67 he ended up having been back issues which had him Bed ridden most of the day and then his wife who to be honest he used to piss off a lot because he is far further on the autistic spectrum than I am would come back from the farmland after drinking with the locals and would start verbally abusing him eventually a few years ago left everything he’d built, which was on her Land in Tha Yang near Cha Am and flared back to England. Which was a good idea because he ain’t got cancer of the tonsils which he is adamant, and ChatGPT which is on the side of the government though, has backed up that it was caused by what he says was oral sex and the fact that she had the HPV virus. When he came back to England, he was able to get aggressive radiotherapy which has thankfully got rid of the cancer. The weight loss fix his back so he’s not walking on a Zimmer anymore and as he said they take that twenty thousand pounds off you to stay here when retired but it helps you because you’ve got £20,000 to go back to England with when it’s all goes to <deleted> plus he’s got his pension so he’s doing great. Can’t remember what I was supposed to be talking about now, but just remember all the stuff I’m saying I am ADHD but I’m not a bad guy even though some people have to speak in me will literally avoid me by turning around in the street 555 which I find quite funny people who can’t take me I just weak and while I’m thinking about it I’ll just say no. My main focus is the eight-year-old the dogs the house where I’ve planted lots of trees which we’ve got mangoes from this year. It’s great. It’s a good life. I’ve got an Isuzu D max I’ve got motorbikes for 10,000 by a month there’s a lot of value there but obviously it’s not nice to think that that money that I could be investing in something else is being squandered but at least now I know I can throw it in her face and say no the money you’ve got has been squandered and I will be now doing something different with next one salary and she won’t be able to argue with you all <deleted>, I’ve got proof of where the money goes when she’s saying she hasn’t got any

16 hours ago, gargamon said:

No. I go deeper than you ever could.

You are a shallow person.

On 5/9/2026 at 2:36 AM, wil iam not said:

We need to stop these sort of posts......................average AN wife. What a load of co88lers.

I would report this but I want all the other AN members with these sort of wives to join me, and tell Safety First (what a stupid name) to eff off.

Come on, join in.

Thou doth protest too much.

The entire OP must be a wind up. No man can be that thick. Thai kids don't get attached to farang wannabe father figures. Lke their mothers, the kids are attached to the lifestyle the farang provides. That boy can probably name every farm labourer his mother is shagging and feels a greater affinity for them than the farang sucker who pays for mamas drugs and the money she 'lends' to her yaba buddies.

OP, look up 'sunk cost fallacy' and salvage what's left of your life. The pride and dignity are long gone but you can get by without those.

On 5/9/2026 at 9:37 AM, Stevey said:

Something I forgot to mention is over the last seven years I’ve been here in NongKhai and although I haven’t built a house I’ve improved it which is not a biggie. I can walk away from the yard 10,000 bar here and there. I have a £13,000 IsuzuD max couple of motorbikes a battery a UPS system for The blackouts. But most importantly, I have. An eight-year-old beautiful boy who calls me Dad. It doesn’t matter what she does. I’m not leaving. It’s just a bastard That since I found out a couple of months ago now that she had given me gonorrhoea so I got us both fixed and we’ve carried on and everything’s been great, she’s just started lying again over morning she took the car out saying she was taking her sister to the hospital last night but then when I looked at her on the Apple Find My app she was heading someone else then told me that place was a veterinary surgery that she was taking a friend to whose dog was sick. Me and the lad turned Gumshoe and we went over there. we talked with the workers and she and her friend had gone over there to take bags of rice to be dehusked. I think the reason why she lied was because the woman she went with borrowed 1500 baht of me about a week ago and selling some rice she just cut from her fields would’ve told me that she had money to pay back not that I’ve hassled her for it but my girlfriend will lie about anything nothing is true. Just the thought of me going back to the UK to work after I’ve been here for a few months had my landing tears this morning because I told him yesterday I had to leave the country on Monday but well I didn’t tell him was that all I have to do was leave the country I was going to come back the same day just too renew my Visa. It’s amazing the absolute psychopath. Expat Community I’ve had people on here and people in real life just say to me just walk away kids are resilient he’ll forget you. She’s a proper narcissist every time I find her out on something even the cheating I found out three years ago by finding a device that she had that she didn’t use anymore that she was chatting with some guy and the chat went back for three years. The chat showed that the brokenhearted guy, who still lives in this village and I know him he’s just a Farm labourer , was distraught because she wasn’t answering his messages anymore., I’m assuming like a lot of women she just moved onto the next one.

Everything just clicked I’ve been so stupid she’s just got these acquaintances around the village who are just the roughest of people and I just think well these are Farm labourer type people but now I realise they are all addicted to Yabba.

You sound like someone who seems overwhelmed and floundering and genuinely looking for help so I'll tell you what I think. What you do with it is your business.

Ever heard of co-dependence?

If you are putting up with years of this kind of living then it sounds to me that irrespective of what s h e does, y o u need help.

When you get help to start dealing with your issues, that landed you here, you will also learn how to deal with the situation positively and constructively, the better for you, the lad, and possibly even your ailing 'partner'. The answers will come.

As far as the lad goes, divorce is often a much better solution when a partnership has deteriorated to these levels. The stress that kid must be suffering under living with the tensions between you and your 'partner' will be rubbing off on him badly, especially over the long term.

Divorce/separation doesn't mean abandoning him. It means a rearrangement of circumstances. Like you living apart from your significant other. Perhaps even with custody. Or shared custody. Or even no custody for a while. Kids can deal with that because the parents are also happier with it over time. There are so many different models that are far better than all 3 sticking around in an addictive hell-hole dizzyingly circling the drain.

His needs are paramount. Divorce would set h i m free as well. And you will be a much better father for it as you will also be free and no longer suffering in the co-dependent addictive cycle. Kids are stronger than we think and as long as there is clarity and honesty and clear boundaries they come through. What destroys kids is dishonesty and obfuscation and secrecy. Using him as an excuse for not tackling this situation is simply part of the cycle of addictive dishonesty obviously running rampant in the family. It only prolongs a destructive situation which will seriously damage him as well. So get help for yourself.

If you are serious, there are plenty of organizations around that can offer help and support and guidance. So don't ask me for any references. Just Google it. If you're serious you'll find what you need.

But first you will have to accept that your problems are as big as hers and stop pointing the finger at her all the time. You can't change her, you can only change yourself.

11 hours ago, flaming dragon said:

Thou doth protest too much.

The entire OP must be a wind up. No man can be that thick. Thai kids don't get attached to farang wannabe father figures. Lke their mothers, the kids are attached to the lifestyle the farang provides. That boy can probably name every farm labourer his mother is shagging and feels a greater affinity for them than the farang sucker who pays for mamas drugs and the money she 'lends' to her yaba buddies.

OP, look up 'sunk cost fallacy' and salvage what's left of your life. The pride and dignity are long gone but you can get by without those.

My protest was to Safety First for his words about AN members' wives, not the OP.

So many judgemental posters on this thread!

1 hour ago, BritManToo said:

So many judgemental posters on this thread!

We all know that going in. The OP is probably a good guy. If I had a friend who told me that story I'd tell him the same as is posted here in the hope that he would wake up and save himself. There might be a couple of slaps added for effect, and I'd expect nothing less from a true friend.