1 minute ago, Hummin said:

I can’t help you if you don’t see the connection. Context matters.

You are welcome show me the context within the thread, as I might have missed it. I joined late.

Did someone ask you what life was about and you gave them that reply or did you just think it was time to disperse your 'wisdom' to all and sundry?

2 minutes ago, IsmeUno said:

I don't need your points, But thank you anyway.

It's simply a discussion from differing perspectives. Each one framing their particular views of life as universal. They are not. They are simply the solutions of the individual to their own struggles.

This is true. All just opinions based on past history.

4 minutes ago, Rockyroad said:

Life is about surving one day at a time.

Life is about survival would have done it.

30 minutes ago, Hummin said:

💎 Hummin nugget

Life is about seeing the solutions beyond the negativity.

Definitely a big part of living. Seeking solutions instead of banging your head against the wall and worrying about things already done. Using your resources to look at another way lowers stress and wrong thinking.

Made me think of a great song by a great artist, Gerry Rafferty- "Wrong Thinking"

Is this a state that you can't control
Or don't you care who you're talking to
Each time when things get out of hand
Why it's the same thing you always do
You start to point out other people's mistakes
Sometimes you even show contempt
How come the way you exclude yourself
Can't you see that you're not exempt?

Wrong thinking gets the better of you
It only takes a moment or two
Comes stealin' like a thief in the night
Changes every little thing in sight
Wrong thinking gets the better of you.

Well it's the same old thing that happens
Every time you react that way
Tomorrow you'll want to forget
Everything you said today
But everytime something reminds you
You play the same old game inside
Any excuse in the book will do
Everything can be justified.

Wrong thinking gets the better of you
It only takes a moment or two
Comes stealin' like a thief in the night
Changes every little thing in sight
Wrong thinking gets the better of you
Better of you. Gets the better of you...........https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U-eQk-luppQ.

Edited August 1Aug 1 by fredwiggy

5 minutes ago, IsmeUno said:

I don't need your points, But thank you anyway.

It's simply a discussion from differing perspectives. Each one framing their particular views of life as universal. They are not. They are simply the solutions of the individual to their own struggles.

I agree. No one’s view of life is universal.

3 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

Definitely a big part of living. Seeking solutions instead of banging your head against the wall and worrying about things already done. Using your resources to look at another way lowers stress and wrong thinking. Made me think of a great song by a great artist, Gerry Rafferty- "Wrong Thinking"..........https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U-eQk-luppQ.

😊

You are funny.

4 minutes ago, Hummin said:

I agree. No one’s view of life is universal.

That's my point. Now if you prefaced your original statement with My, I would not have commented at all.

It's not just you, so don't imagine that I'm singling you out. I just assume that you do think and are capable of understanding.

21 hours ago, Hummin said:

Any activity that gets you out to meet other people, and not necessarily a bar and alcohol involved.

I don't particularly want to meet any people .

Many Westerners in Thailand are a bit weird , strange .

They often also just want something from you .

On 7/31/2026 at 1:04 PM, Freebird13 said:

I have been "retired" to Pattaya now for about a year. I wanted to post a little about my expectations moving in vs the reality of being here (without writing a book). Each point listed below is numbered in the expectations category vs the reality. You can reply with your own down below if you would like to contribute to the list.

Expectations

1. A young socially vibrant scene in an upscale condo building.
2. A nice pool with many young women swimming and sunbathing & having fun.
3. People around in the evening & night partying and drinking.
4. Women open to conversation and being friendly outside of an "arrangement" setting or venue.
5. People from all over the world visiting and interacting in a relaxed casual manner.
6.. A lot of India type guys who are not very friendly outside of their own group.

Reality

1. An older scene with many retired single guys that are not very social. Building & facilities are good and upscale.
2. A small handful of the same guys (50 - 60ish) meeting daily to bob up & down in the water together.
3. It's quiet with people in their rooms. Many of the rooms seem empty with lights off in one of the newest/best buildings in the area.
4. Freelancers looking at their phones who shun eye contact or simple greetings in the elevator.
5. Older guys kind of just sitting around in various venues not saying much and not really having much to say.
6.. A lot of India type guys who are not very friendly outside of their own group.

It just increasingly seems to me that it's not a happy casual place. You do have the high octane nightlife, women and company in nightlife areas but it only seems to happen under that particular umbrella where there is an obvious financial gain there, not as a natural interaction. I hope I am making sense.

The idea you had of Pattaya must have come from a dream. Anyone on here would tell you the idea you had is not the Pattaya in Thailand.

12 minutes ago, IsmeUno said:

That's my point. Now if you prefaced your original statement with My, I would not have commented at all.

It's not just you, so don't imagine that I'm singling you out. I just assume that you do think and are capable of understanding.

A nugget is just that, a nugget. It was written in the context of the discussion, not as a universal truth. It is a thought to reflect on,

10 minutes ago, Nick Carter icp said:

I don't particularly want to meet any people .

Many Westerners in Thailand are a bit weird , strange .

They often also just want something from you .

Most of the tourists are fine. The expats are the weird ones. No hobbies or goals in life. Living off a pension. House in wife name or banging hookers. Not exactly Einsteins.

10 minutes ago, Nick Carter icp said:

I don't particularly want to meet any people .

Many Westerners in Thailand are a bit weird , strange .

They often also just want something from you .

The older I get, the less patience I have for crap statements and the same old discussions that never end. I still enjoy meeting people for activities, a drink, or dinner, but it usually stops there.

Compared to when I was younger, there are only a few people I want to travel with or spend a lot of time with. It is a hard realization, and maybe just part of getting older and a little wiser. Or was it just older and grumpier?

3 minutes ago, Rockyroad said:

Most of the tourists are fine. The expats are the weird ones. No hobbies or goals in life. Living off a pension. House in wife name or banging hookers. Not exactly Einsteins.

Meeting new people on the road, and the first thing they start talking about is politics, immigration, or the last hooker they banged… you know you’re probably not going to become lifelong friends.

2 minutes ago, Hummin said:

A nugget is just that, a nugget. It was written in the context of the discussion, not as a universal truth. It is a thought to reflect on,

Personally I don't think it qualified as a philosophical nugget, as it doesn't ring true. It's just personal to you.

Perhaps Happiness may be attained by seeking solutions other than negativity. But to state Life is about...

Anyway, it's just a discussion. Nothing too serious.

15 minutes ago, Nick Carter icp said:

Many Westerners in Thailand are a bit weird , strange .

The weirdo’s are easy to spot and avoided…

21 hours ago, Hummin said:

Any activity that gets you out to meet other people, and not necessarily a bar and alcohol involved.

Then try getting out more and meeting real people instead of weirdly posting on the internet everyday for hours on end.

2 minutes ago, Hummin said:

Meeting new people on the road, and the first thing they start talking about is politics, immigration, or the last hooker they banged… you know you’re probably not going to become lifelong friends.

Or , "I really like Thailand and I would like to live here , how you earn money in Thailand"

They want to do what you are doing to earn money to stay in Thailand .

Or they are hoping you are going to say : I got job washing dishes in a restaurant 2000 Baht day cash in hand and there's a vacancy if you want a job start tomorrow

8 minutes ago, IsmeUno said:

Personally I don't think it qualified as a philosophical nugget, as it doesn't ring true. It's just personal to you.

Perhaps Happiness may be attained by seeking solutions other than negativity. But to state Life is about...

Anyway, it's just a discussion. Nothing too serious.

    What does not kill me makes me stronger.” Nietzsche

8 minutes ago, novacova said:

The weirdo’s are easy to spot and avoided…

Then try getting out more and meeting real people instead of weirdly posting on the internet everyday for hours on end.

I could show you what I actually do besides posting here, but no one would believe me anyway. It would probably just turn into accusations of bragging, showing off, criticizing my food, calling me a gym rat, or something else.

Convincing you that I actually have a life means very little to me. I know what I manage to do every day, and that is enough.

Yesterday I hiked 8.7 km while picking blueberries, raspberries, and cherries, looking out over beautiful fjords and hills. But here, even that would be considered bragging and showing off, especially if you also show the food you eat. It is not a place for inspiration, but rather a place to bring everyone down.

Nice attempt, at least ;-)

I live in Bangkok, not Pattaya, but I see the same sort of people in BKK that gravitate to Pattaya for retirement. I can walk my area and see the same guys in the same seats in the same al fresco bars every day, sometimes even early morning when I'm heading to the gym. If that is 'living the dream', good for them. I doubt it is, however.

If the goal is a laid back lifestyle in a new culture, with weather that is a break from bitter winters, with a chance to play a favorite sport outdoors the year round, Pattaya might do just fine. Sadly, I get the impression---perhaps wrongly---that too many guys have a delusional fantasy about what retirement in Pattaya will be like. They seem to think they will somehow turn into babe magnets just by virtue of passing through 6-12 time zones. When they first see it fails, they seem to think, "Maybe if I got some bad boy tattoos......."

Old, chubby and on a limited pension does not a babe magnet make. Sure, such a guy might be able to purchase fake affection, like the AN member previously of Cambodia who boasts continuously of that practice, but I doubt that will be satisfying over the long term. Also, since a good many of the men who retire to Pattaya hold similar delusions, "friends" one meets in Pattaya are unlikely to make for stimulating conversation. Guys who came both well prepared and with realistic expectations are more likely to find kindred spirits and build a strong social network.

Gyms in Bangkok are a great place to meet people. Regulars eventually recognize each other and begin to converse. Friendships form. Women even approach guys who don't look as if they're on the hunt (even if they are). I don't know, but I get the impression this is not true in Pattaya. In Bangkok, there are still plenty of folks holding down jobs, both foreigners and Thai women not in the field of P4P. One can meet them at gyms.

Maybe a good rule of thumb, factoring in the changes Thailand has seen in the last 20-30 years, is to imagine how one could live at home if his pension was twice as large. That is maybe how far that non-doubled pension could go in Pattaya. $100K a year does not a kingly lifestyle make anymore, not even in Thailand. Second, if one was not successful with women up until the point of retirement back home, best not to fool oneself and think that same appearance, charm and character will work any better in Pattaya. If a guy couldn't score back home, he'll only score in Pattaya with women paid to pretend they are enjoying themselves. Of course, such guys' choice could be the post-menopausal, mother of three by 3 different men former bargirl now working in a beer bar looking to score a trick for 500 baht. If that is good enough, Pattaya might fit just right.

Dreams might die hard, but die they do when smacked upside the head by reality. There's a reason one of the more famous "clubs" in Pattaya is the Flying Club. Know beforehand, so that one never joins that infamous club.

4 minutes ago, Hummin said:

What does not kill me makes me stronger.” Nietzsche

I don't believe that. Knowledge makes you stronger. If you have a tough experience and don't learn from it you won't benefit from it.

1 minute ago, novacova said:

The weirdo’s are easy to spot and avoided…

Then try getting out more and meeting real people instead of weirdly posting on the internet everyday for hours on end.

Honestly...how many 'real' people does anyone want to meet on a daily basis? Most people have a core of friends and family. Other than that, most meetings are fleeting and thank goodness for that.

Can you imagine being stuck with this lot the whole time? It great that we can engage and disengage at will.

We can argue and we can assist. Those who can do that will appreciate and enjoy life much more than those with closed minds.

There are examples of this everywhere. People insisting that certain places are 'dumps' whilst having no real experience at all. Closed minds pretending to be open.

Let's take another unnamed member for example. Twice now, I have offered to help him with obtaining items for himself and his daughter. But in his mind, discussions here have spilt over into his real life. He is unable to separate discussion here, with real life and is unable to even decline politely. They either fly into a blind rage or simply ignore completely.

Expectations vs Reality.

My world is not like that. There are no enemies. I'll tell you my truth, however harsh because it's better to tell the truth than to mislead. Because facing harsh truth is to what I am used. That's what gives me strength. That I am not afraid of mere truth.

It's not about the external. It's internal. People who aren't used to that, might see it as a harsh, even toxic environment. Realists and pragmatists may see it differently. Fantasists don't appreciate their bubbles being pricked.

Wherever you go, there you are. You want a vibrant social scene? Create it.

On 7/31/2026 at 2:19 PM, mran66 said:

Just curious how did you come up with those defined expectations?

22 minutes ago, Photoguy21 said:

The idea you had of Pattaya must have come from a dream. Anyone on here would tell you the idea you had is not the Pattaya in Thailand.

There's actually a lot of people around who think Pattaya is great, but they are seeing it from other angles.

I think the mistake I made was believing it was right for me, when it was other people talking/vlogging/youtube who I did not have much in common with. I should have limited opinions to those I had much in common with, same age bracket and from the same areas I was living in or grew up in. If I flew people I know from Santa Cruz in here right now I doubt they would want to stay long term, though they would have a good time for a week or so. The values and interactions are just not here that we appreciate and they can't be changed easily.

The other part of it is just my fault and wishful thinking. I took a chance and figured that any place would be the same or better then where I was and I could live that way for far cheaper. Maybe a lesson there that the "grass is not always greener" on the other side. Another lesson may be that there is no such thing as getting an equivalent for a cheaper price, there's always a trade off when you are not paying as much unless you get lucky. Fortunately, I'm still relatively young, healthy and mobile so it's not road kill, just a bump on the road.

Edited August 1Aug 1 by Freebird13

8 minutes ago, Wingate said:

I live in Bangkok, not Pattaya, but I see the same sort of people in BKK that gravitate to Pattaya for retirement. I can walk my area and see the same guys in the same seats in the same al fresco bars every day, sometimes even early morning when I'm heading to the gym. If that is 'living the dream', good for them. I doubt it is, however.

If the goal is a laid back lifestyle in a new culture, with weather that is a break from bitter winters, with a chance to play a favorite sport outdoors the year round, Pattaya might do just fine. Sadly, I get the impression---perhaps wrongly---that too many guys have a delusional fantasy about what retirement in Pattaya will be like. They seem to think they will somehow turn into babe magnets just by virtue of passing through 6-12 time zones. When they first see it fails, they seem to think, "Maybe if I got some bad boy tattoos......."

Old, chubby and on a limited pension does not a babe magnet make. Sure, such a guy might be able to purchase fake affection, like the AN member previously of Cambodia who boasts continuously of that practice, but I doubt that will be satisfying over the long term. Also, since a good many of the men who retire to Pattaya hold similar delusions, "friends" one meets in Pattaya are unlikely to make for stimulating conversation. Guys who came both well prepared and with realistic expectations are more likely to find kindred spirits and build a strong social network.

Gyms in Bangkok are a great place to meet people. Regulars eventually recognize each other and begin to converse. Friendships form. Women even approach guys who don't look as if they're on the hunt (even if they are). I don't know, but I get the impression this is not true in Pattaya. In Bangkok, there are still plenty of folks holding down jobs, both foreigners and Thai women not in the field of P4P. One can meet them at gyms.

Maybe a good rule of thumb, factoring in the changes Thailand has seen in the last 20-30 years, is to imagine how one could live at home if his pension was twice as large. That is maybe how far that non-doubled pension could go in Pattaya. $100K a year does not a kingly lifestyle make anymore, not even in Thailand. Second, if one was not successful with women up until the point of retirement back home, best not to fool oneself and think that same appearance, charm and character will work any better in Pattaya. If a guy couldn't score back home, he'll only score in Pattaya with women paid to pretend they are enjoying themselves. Of course, such guys' choice could be the post-menopausal, mother of three by 3 different men former bargirl now working in a beer bar looking to score a trick for 500 baht. If that is good enough, Pattaya might fit just right.

Dreams might die hard, but die they do when smacked upside the head by reality. There's a reason one of the more famous "clubs" in Pattaya is the Flying Club. Know beforehand, so that one never joins that infamous club.

Women don't care about looks. They want a guy to make them laugh and support them. Same everywhere in the world. Bangkok people are more busy cause it has a faster pace and with a higher cost of living. Finding a decent woman in Thailand is easy. Learn the language, respect the culture and don't be a jerk.

5 minutes ago, Rockyroad said:

I don't believe that. Knowledge makes you stronger. If you have a tough experience and don't learn from it you won't benefit from it.

Same same...

14 minutes ago, Hummin said:

What does not kill me makes me stronger.” Nietzsche

My grandfather would say that.

5 minutes ago, Rockyroad said:

I don't believe that. Knowledge makes you stronger. If you have a tough experience and don't learn from it you won't benefit from it.

It is not the message itself that matters in an ordinary daily situation. It is the seed it leaves behind, ready for the moment you actually need it. The same way you learn to look beyond the trouble you are standing in and remember that there may still be another way forward.

And you are right, knowledge matters. We read the big thinkers, understand the context behind their words, and keep the essence. Over time, those ideas help form the way we think. The nuggets are only reminders, small keys that can open a much larger room,

4 minutes ago, IsmeUno said:

Same same...

My grandfather would say that.

Maybe when you reach his age, you will agree.

18 minutes ago, Hummin said:

Yesterday I hiked 8.7 km while picking blueberries, raspberries, and cherries, looking out over beautiful fjords and hills. But here, even that would be considered bragging and showing off, especially if you also show the food you eat. It is not a place for inspiration, but rather a place to bring everyone down.

You just told us and no one has claimed that you are bragging...nor is anyone trying to bring you down. Don't clump everything together. There is showing off and there is not showing off. Hiking and picking fruit would not ever be classed as showing off.

Posting pictures of things others might not be able to afford, might require a small side of humility.

1 minute ago, Hummin said:

Maybe when you reach his age, you will agree.

?? How do you know that I didn't agree as a child? You are jumping to conclusions.

10 minutes ago, Rockyroad said:

Women don't care about looks.

Wrong...

8 minutes ago, IsmeUno said:

Wrong...

I'm totally right

See here

Man is a 2

Women is an 8

Expectations and social entitlement never survive contact with reality. However, you will get different results depending on where you reside... the touristy hotspots seem great but living inside them for long years will send you nuts.

It's best to live a little outside them so you can take it or leave it when you want to... or just go somewhere less stressful and abide but it depends on what floats your boat, and party places have a shelf-life for most folks, either financially or mentally resulting in you could easily end up broken in either section.