How do you manage ending a friendship that has run its course? What do you do when you realise that someone you once called a friend has become toxic and being around them sucks your energy and makes you feel bad wheai n you are around them?

 

Do you just slowly withdraw from them, and choose not to respond to their messages or calls? Or do you explain to them why you are retreating from them, saying that you feel the friendship has run its course.

 

I am currently faced with this dilemma and don’t know the best way to handle it.

 

A few people I once called friends have changed in ways that make it hard for me to remain friends with them. A couple have become bitter and toxic and are now so unpleasant to be around that in the case of one guy, his Thai wife has told me that she has had enough of him and is about to leave him. A couple of other friends have changed and we have almost nothing in common anymore. They each wish to continue to meet up while I no longer have any interest in doing so.

 

If it were a relationship of a romantic nature, I’d sit down and explain where things were at. But with friendships, I’m not sure the best way to go about it. My tendency in life is to be open and honest – but my experience has been that some people don’t like to hear the truth.

 

Said friends are in their 60s of early 70s, retired and long-term Thailand expats.

 

If you have faced a similar dilemma, how did you handle it? Or am I overthinking this all and I should just block them on all forms of communication and be done with it?

Just tell them if wanting to meet up somewhere, that you got something important to do, like ..

... laundry

... wash the car / MB

... busy baking bread, that takes 2 hr

... tell 'em you're gay, or if gay, straight

... found someone, in a relationship

... watching a movie

... you're in rehab, and have to avoid all friends for time being

... oh yea, you could just block 'em on your devices, if see them in public, then your lost you devices

Sooner or later they'll take the hint.

Edited August 10Aug 10 by KhunLA

Just start making excuses, respond slower and slower with messages, busy doing other things, better doing it that way than having a confrontation

A troll post baiting another member has been removed:

• Avoid flaming, trolling, or stalking other members.

Like KhunLA said, find excuses to be elsewhere. They'll eventually get the picture and won't bother anymore. To the extreme, there's a movie with Brendan Gleeson and Colin Farrell called The Banshees of Inisherin. About the same thing but a little heavy.....................

Edited August 10Aug 10 by fredwiggy

3 hours ago, SBNZ said:

Or do you explain to them why you are retreating from them, saying that you feel the friendship has run its course.

This one. I always explain. Do unto others...

Stop wasting your time on toxic people...when asked to meet up just tell the truth....doesn't work for me. Soon enough they will get the hint and likely be even more toxic. Run forest run.

51 minutes ago, pomchop said:

Stop wasting your time on toxic people...when asked to meet up just tell the truth....doesn't work for me. Soon enough they will get the hint and likely be even more toxic. Run forest run.

Thanks for the thoughts. With a couple of them, I think I might just block them from all forms of communication but I have to say that even though they have become toxic, I still feel guilty doing that!

8 hours ago, SBNZ said:

Thanks for the thoughts. With a couple of them, I think I might just block them from all forms of communication but I have to say that even though they have become toxic, I still feel guilty doing that!

Blocking isn't ideal with someone you know, it can make them worse. Try replying slower and slower until eventually they give up

It's the same as dealing with a person who's NPD. They're easy to recognize, will blame you for any negative interactions, and will only get worse. This link might help you.................https://navigatepsychology.com/blog/dealing-with-toxic-friendships.

Edited August 10Aug 10 by fredwiggy

I have a childhood friend who I still consider a friend but we don't speak much any more as he is a HUGE Trumper. Loves Trump. What's really hypocritical is that he used some Obama era government subsidies to put a rehab business together and is now very wealthy thanks to Democrats. I've looked my longtime pal in the eye and told him Trump is a crook and a con man, you've been duped.

OP if you can't man up and look the person in the eye and say "I don't want to be around you as all you do is b*tch and moan, and I'm done unless you change" then as others have suggested, don't block, just ignore.

7 minutes ago, Priorexpat said:

I have a childhood friend who I still consider a friend but we don't speak much any more as he is a HUGE Trumper. Loves Trump. What's really hypocritical is that he used some Obama era government subsidies to put a rehab business together and is now very wealthy thanks to Democrats. I've looked my longtime pal in the eye and told him Trump is a crook and a con man, you've been duped.

OP if you can't man up and look the person in the eye and say "I don't want to be around you as all you do is b*tch and moan, and I'm done unless you change" then as others have suggested, don't block, just ignore.

So you ended it with your friend because he supports Trumps, kinda stupid

56 minutes ago, scubascuba3 said:

So you ended it with your friend because he supports Trumps, kinda stupid

Nope, ended nothing, he still my friend as I wrote, guess you missed that which is "kinda stupid". Just not as much communication these days as in the past.

Once the MAGA cult scenario is gone I'm sure we'll get back to hanging out occasionally.

Sadly, I have been in a similar situation a few times here.

They have changed, and I have changed.

Over time, as you get to know people in more depth, you may find their attitudes and behaviours noxious or repulsive or toxic, etc. Following previous responses, I have just avoided seeing and communicating with these "ex-friends".

The last thing we want in our advancing age is more stress in our lives.

46 minutes ago, Priorexpat said:

Nope, ended nothing, he still my friend as I wrote, guess you missed that which is "kinda stupid". Just not as much communication these days as in the past.

Once the MAGA cult scenario is gone I'm sure we'll get back to hanging out occasionally.

You forgot you said

1 hour ago, scubascuba3 said:

I have a childhood friend who I still consider a friend but we don't speak much any more as he is a HUGE Trumper

You don't speak much because of Trump, still kinda stupid that you can't be friends if someone's got different political views, just accept it

I would slowly cut them off, and stop replying to their messages. If you confront them, then you have burned a bridge. Some day in the future, under other circumstances that you can't imagine now, you might need something from that person. I prefer to keep my options open, because you never know what the future might bring.

1 hour ago, scubascuba3 said:

You forgot you said

You don't speak much because of Trump, still kinda stupid that you can't be friends if someone's got different political views, just accept it

WE ARE STILL FRIENDS. "just accept it".... Look, brain hemorrhage, I got a text yesterday from him our group msg, happy bday blah, blah, blah you are missing the message that because Trump is the biggest a*****h**le in the history of man kind that my buddy and I will be back WHEN TRUMP IS GONE. All good, move on mate.

Just start acting very crazy, and stop with bathing and all other hygiene.

It is always best, however, to be honest.

Be honest and direct in the kindest and most direct way.

Fortunately, I have never had a friend who I wanted to get rid of.

In every case, it is my friends who have chosen to get rid of me.

And, I have always appreciated their honesty.

On 8/10/2026 at 3:21 PM, SBNZ said:

How do you manage ending a friendship that has run its course? What do you do when you realise that someone you once called a friend has become toxic and being around them sucks your energy and makes you feel bad wheai n you are around them?

 

Do you just slowly withdraw from them, and choose not to respond to their messages or calls? Or do you explain to them why you are retreating from them, saying that you feel the friendship has run its course.

 

I am currently faced with this dilemma and don’t know the best way to handle it.

 

A few people I once called friends have changed in ways that make it hard for me to remain friends with them. A couple have become bitter and toxic and are now so unpleasant to be around that in the case of one guy, his Thai wife has told me that she has had enough of him and is about to leave him. A couple of other friends have changed and we have almost nothing in common anymore. They each wish to continue to meet up while I no longer have any interest in doing so.

 

If it were a relationship of a romantic nature, I’d sit down and explain where things were at. But with friendships, I’m not sure the best way to go about it. My tendency in life is to be open and honest – but my experience has been that some people don’t like to hear the truth.

 

Said friends are in their 60s of early 70s, retired and long-term Thailand expats.

 

If you have faced a similar dilemma, how did you handle it? Or am I overthinking this all and I should just block them on all forms of communication and be done with it?

Block him on social media and phone.

Just tell them you’re gay now and fancy them.

Been blessed with some very good friends, some of whom I have known for decades. Great souls. People I love hanging out with. I have issues with some of them, and visa versa. But, not to the point where it is difficult or unpleasant to hang out with them. And sometimes, one finds that an old friendship just is not working anymore. So be it. Friendships devolve sometimes. Some people you just let go of, after many years. 

And some friendships are deep enough, where these kinds of irritants can be discussed and worked through. Real adult conversations. 

Friendship is a truly fascinating relationship. It is one of the only relationships we have, that is entirely voluntary. We engage, because we want to engage. Friendships tend to evolve and change over the years. Some get better, some get worse. Some people become better versions of themselves as they get older, most don't. 

On 8/10/2026 at 8:58 PM, SBNZ said:

Thanks for the thoughts. With a couple of them, I think I might just block them from all forms of communication but I have to say that even though they have become toxic, I still feel guilty doing that!

It depends what type of person YOU are.

In other words, notice how different people behave differently on this forum.

For some people, if there is someone they don't like, they may become confrontational.

For others, they may just not respond or block them.

There are pros and cons to both.

If you just ignore them, you don't have to do the "dirty work" of basically bringing to light the shadow aspects of their own personality which they may not even be fully conscious of. And even if you do confront them, they may never address their issues. So it just drains a lot of your own energy.

Also, if you just ignore them, they may never even know why and just repeat the same patterns with everyone else they meet.

Whereas if you do confront them, they might become more aware and change. So when they meet new people, they may behave differently.

Or the other alternative is the other person may even change their behavior towards you and can maintain the friendship.

But most people don't change that easily.

A cash settlement usually sweetens departure.

On 8/10/2026 at 3:21 PM, SBNZ said:

How do you manage ending a friendship that has run its course? What do you do when you realise that someone you once called a friend has become toxic and being around them sucks your energy and makes you feel bad wheai n you are around them?

Very easy. Block, ignore, don’t respond and just move on. As adults we’re not obligated to anyone outside of marriage, children, work place, the law and debts. So ask yourself why do you feel the need to obligate yourself to this person.

Edited August 12Aug 12 by novacova

On 8/10/2026 at 3:21 PM, SBNZ said:

How do you manage ending a friendship that has run its course? What do you do when you realise that someone you once called a friend has become toxic and being around them sucks your energy and makes you feel bad wheai n you are around them?

 

Do you just slowly withdraw from them, and choose not to respond to their messages or calls? Or do you explain to them why you are retreating from them, saying that you feel the friendship has run its course.

 

I am currently faced with this dilemma and don’t know the best way to handle it.

 

A few people I once called friends have changed in ways that make it hard for me to remain friends with them. A couple have become bitter and toxic and are now so unpleasant to be around that in the case of one guy, his Thai wife has told me that she has had enough of him and is about to leave him. A couple of other friends have changed and we have almost nothing in common anymore. They each wish to continue to meet up while I no longer have any interest in doing so.

 

If it were a relationship of a romantic nature, I’d sit down and explain where things were at. But with friendships, I’m not sure the best way to go about it. My tendency in life is to be open and honest – but my experience has been that some people don’t like to hear the truth.

 

Said friends are in their 60s of early 70s, retired and long-term Thailand expats.

 

If you have faced a similar dilemma, how did you handle it? Or am I overthinking this all and I should just block them on all forms of communication and be done with it?

I would prefer to be honest, in a non-confrontational way, in these circumstances. It eliminates uncomfortable ambiguity and gives them an opportunity to address your issues, should they choose.

Perhaps you would like one of your friends to be suitably honest with you if it was the other way round.

Edited August 12Aug 12 by IsaanT

On 8/11/2026 at 6:12 AM, scubascuba3 said:

So you ended it with your friend because he supports Trumps, kinda stupid

On 8/11/2026 at 8:02 AM, scubascuba3 said:

You forgot you said

You don't speak much because of Trump, still kinda stupid that you can't be friends if someone's got different political views, just accept it

I ended several friendships because of trump. Not politics. Morals.
I will not call friends people who condone lying, cheating, or stealing. Trump's done all three often.

I will not call friends people who condone mocking people with disabilities. Trump does that regularly.

I will not call people friends who make mistakes and blame others. Yet another of Trump's typical behaviors.

I will not call friends people who condone stealing from children's cancer charities. Trump's been found guilty of this in a court of law! Cost him millions.
In 11 years, this man has never once visited Veterans in hospital. Hell, he's never even visited children in hospital! Where is this man's humanity?
It has nothing to do with his politics. It's all about his morals, or lack thereof.
No, I do not want to be around anyone who thinks this behavior is OK! If you think it IS OK, I certainly don't want to be around you, either.

Edited August 12Aug 12 by FolkGuitar

On 8/10/2026 at 2:05 PM, pomchop said:

Stop wasting your time on toxic people...when asked to meet up just tell the truth....doesn't work for me. Soon enough they will get the hint and likely be even more toxic. Run forest run.

Just tell the truth- not in an aggressive or rude manner

Just explain the relationship has run its course- wish them well- and invest your valuable time in those whose company you find positive

On 8/10/2026 at 3:21 PM, SBNZ said:

How do you manage ending a friendship that has run its course? What do you do when you realise that someone you once called a friend has become toxic and being around them sucks your energy and makes you feel bad wheai n you are around them?

 

Do you just slowly withdraw from them, and choose not to respond to their messages or calls? Or do you explain to them why you are retreating from them, saying that you feel the friendship has run its course.

 

I am currently faced with this dilemma and don’t know the best way to handle it.

 

A few people I once called friends have changed in ways that make it hard for me to remain friends with them. A couple have become bitter and toxic and are now so unpleasant to be around that in the case of one guy, his Thai wife has told me that she has had enough of him and is about to leave him. A couple of other friends have changed and we have almost nothing in common anymore. They each wish to continue to meet up while I no longer have any interest in doing so.

 

If it were a relationship of a romantic nature, I’d sit down and explain where things were at. But with friendships, I’m not sure the best way to go about it. My tendency in life is to be open and honest – but my experience has been that some people don’t like to hear the truth.

 

Said friends are in their 60s of early 70s, retired and long-term Thailand expats.

 

If you have faced a similar dilemma, how did you handle it? Or am I overthinking this all and I should just block them on all forms of communication and be done with it?

You have co-dependencies issues so you will have to fix that first.

On 8/11/2026 at 5:19 AM, scubascuba3 said:

Blocking isn't ideal with someone you know, it can make them worse. Try replying slower and slower until eventually they give up

This may possibly lead to more problems than expected the person might become more unhinged and start a stalking campaign and may even lead to violent altercations. The OP should just leave the provenance and change his name to be safe.

Just make yourself unavailable. Over time those you want to unfriend will get the message.