Younger Sister Just Lost Twins

[N47HAN]

Hi All,

Just had some pretty bad news......

My younger sister was rushed into hospital yesterday after bleeding ,

She went into labour and both twins were sadly stillborn .

Im just not sure when I should call her. My father has told her hes given me the news.

What the hel_l can anyone say on the phone ? Should I call straight away or leave it for a few days , she has so much to sink in, I dont want to add more to her plate now.

Not sure if there is right time , but if anyone has experienced something similar , any advice thankyou.

[JUDAS]

Hi All,

Just had some pretty bad news......

My younger sister was rushed into hospital yesterday after bleeding ,

She went into labour and both twins were sadly stillborn .

Im just not sure when I should call her. My father has told her hes given me the news.

What the hel_l can anyone say on the phone ? Should I call straight away or leave it for a few days , she has so much to sink in, I dont want to add more to her plate now.

Not sure if there is right time , but if anyone has experienced something similar , any advice thankyou.

My brother and his wife had similar experience recently. My thoughts were the same as yours so I called my sister first. She's got common sense!! First thing she said was " They want to know you care" Phone your sister, won't be easy but will mean a lot to her.

[eek]

I really dont know if what i can suggest would be of any use im afraid. I havent experienced similar and only you know your sister well enough to answer your own question. But if i were in your sisters shoes, i would want to hear from you right away, even if it was an awkward bumbling call. Even telling her that you are lost for words, but that you are thinking of her and wish her strength and that you love her is enough. Its letting her know you care. If other family members have already spoken to her then maybe call one of them up first to ask advice if that helps. Personally i think the longer you leave it the more uncomfortable it will get for both parties.

Im very sorry for your sisters loss.

[nidge]

Hi All,

Just had some pretty bad news......

My younger sister was rushed into hospital yesterday after bleeding ,

She went into labour and both twins were sadly stillborn .

Im just not sure when I should call her. My father has told her hes given me the news.

What the hel_l can anyone say on the phone ? Should I call straight away or leave it for a few days , she has so much to sink in, I dont want to add more to her plate now.

Not sure if there is right time , but if anyone has experienced something similar , any advice thankyou.

I would call her immediately. This is a very sad piece of news. I am sure your sister needs all the support she can get. I am very sorry for you and your sisters loss.

[girlx]

aw that is very sad, best wishes to your sis.

[PeaceBlondie]

We lost 2 or 3 babies in the first trimester, and later we had twins born one week after their due date. You need to call your sister, tell her you love her, admit that you do not understand just how she feels, but that you feel very sorry for her.

[qualtrough]

I am sorry to hear the news. I second the opinion of the previous posters-get on the phone and call her to let her know you care.

[Sheryl]

As everyone else said -- call at once. No need to say anything more than that you are terribly sorry for her loss and thinking of her. Then just listen to whatever she has to say.

And keep calling at frequent intervals, so that you provide a shoulder to cry on or someone to ventilate to if and when she needs that, and an awareness that she's got support throughout.

[Aussietraveller]

Sorry to hear your sisters sad news.

Get on the phone ASAP. You sister just needs to talk to people who love her.

You don't need to say anything profound, you just need to call.

[leisurely]

Excellent advice from everybody. I had a miscarriage at 24 weeks which was horribly sad, the better of my friends acknowledged what had happened, the rest glossed over it and said silly trite stuff. Phone her as soon as possible

[N47HAN]

Thanks to all,

I have called and spoken to my sis just.

Shes obviously very upset, they are due to have the funeral later this week .

I asked if she wanted to get away for a bit , she and her husband should come over (my treat)

looks like they may take me up on the offer so at least ill get to see her.

glad i called , helped me strangely enough aswell.

thx again all

[nidge]

Coming over to you is a great idea too. Getting away from the usual surroundings will help and perhaps stop them both thinking too much.

[Mossfinn]

Great advice everyone, in my opinion.

Nathan, I am sorry for your families loss.

When my brother died, apart from Family that came around or phoned, I always remember the friend who came round to see me the very next night.

Also a couple of older Female Friends came round, I always remember them too, you did the right thing, just being there, is always enough.

Moss

[Neeranam]

Coming over to you is a great idea too. Getting away from the usual surroundings will help and perhaps stop them both thinking too much.

Agreed.

N47HAN, when you see her try to convince her that she can have plenty more kids. NOT now but in a few weeks.

My wife had a similar experience. This can be a very hard time for her and she needs ALL the love and support she can get.

[onethailand]

Condolences to your sister, N47HAN. I agree with what Neeranam said in the post above - in fact I agree with all the posters in this thread.

[Goldenbead]

I am very sorry to hear of your sister's loss. Glad to hear you called her. I hope she is able to find peace and move past this terrible experience. Be there for her.

[N47HAN]

I really am touched by everyones responce ,

kinda brings your faith back in human compassion

[Patsycat]

I'm glad that you called her and invited her and hubbie for a change of scenery. I am sure you will have long chats and shed a few tears while she visits, but probably a good thing too.

Hey, we are not all heartless neanderthals here!!

RIP for the babies (little angels) and strength to your sis and her husband.