I know this is old hat, but I just finished reading Stephen Leather's, 'Private Dancer.' I wasn't particularly shocked by much of it, I guess, because I experienced some of the same of Pete's misfortunes during my years living in Thailand. I did really like the way Leather set up the story with each character using a monologue to tell the story.

Man, is it a sad story! throughout the story I sympathise with both Pete and Joy

because of the tangled cultural psychology they both put each other through. It is just one huge Thai contradiction to say the least. The worst thing about it is that I know people, Thai women friends and Farang friends of mine, who have had relationships like this, but not with what Pete ultimately encounters.

After reading it I feel very fortunate that I found a good, decent Thai woman that I have had a good marriage with so far. I guess I might be in the minority, I don't know.

I know this is old hat, but I just finished reading Stephen Leather's, 'Private Dancer.' I wasn't particularly shocked by much of it, I guess, because I  experienced some of the same of Pete's misfortunes during my years living in Thailand. I did really like the way Leather set up the story with each character using a monologue to tell the story....

Couldn't agree more - a brilliant book. With just a few name changes some of the events could easily apply to me or my male acquaintances. (Won't call them "friends" because they're not in Thailand anymore).

My apologies to BGs with good hearts (I know there are plenty out there), but here are some extracts from the book:

Page 10

PETE

I got back to Bangkok early evening, dropped my stuff off at the hotel and rushed around to Zombie. Joy wasn't wearing the gold chain, or anything else for that matter, just the boots. She grinned and waved when she saw me and I ordered a gin and tonic and waited for her dancing shift to come to an end. She wrapped the leopard-print shawl around her waist and rushed over, giving me a big hug and kissing me on the cheek. I bought a cola and put my arm round her. "I not think you come back, Pete," she said. I couldn't stop myself grinning. She'd remembered my name. "I said I would." "I think I not see you again." I asked her where the gold chain was and she averted her eyes. She looked like a schoolgirl who'd been caught with her hand in the cookie jar. "I sorry, Pete," she said. "I no have money." My heart sank. The gold had no sentimental value, but I'd hoped that by wearing it she'd be thinking of me. "Did you sell it?" I asked. She shook her head. "Not sell," she said. She made a gesture with her thumb, pressing it down. Nigel had told me that Thais often pawn their gold and they leave their thumb print instead of their signature. She'd pawned it. She smiled brightly. "If you give me three thousand baht, I get back for you." She glanced down, suddenly shy, and my heart melted. There was no way I could be angry with her. "Okay," I promised, "I'll give you the money." She grinned and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek.....

JOY

I was quite surprised to see him again. Actually, I'd forgotten all about him. I'd pawned the gold chain the day after he gave it to me and used the money to pay the month's lease on the motorcycle I was buying. Luckily I was dancing when he walked into the bar because I'd forgotten his name. I asked a couple of my friends if they knew who he was but they didn't. I had to wrack my brains but eventually remembered. Pete. He was a writer or something. Anyway, as soon as I was finished dancing I ran over and made a fuss of him. I made sure I used his name, that always makes farangs feel special. He noticed right away that I wasn't wearing the gold and I told him I didn't have it any more. I told him I could get it for him if he gave me 3,000 baht. He did, too. And he gave me another 3,000 baht for staying all night. He obviously earned a lot since he didn't argue about the money. He kept saying that he liked my hair. Most farangs do. I reckon that eighty per cent of farangs like long hair. I'm always surprised at the girls who cut their hair. Working in the bar is all about attracting farangs: you can't make enough money just dancing, they have to buy you drinks and pay your bar fine....

Page 148:

JOY

It's true about Khmer girls and the invisible tattoos, but I'm not Khmer, I'm Thai. Thai girls don't need magic to get farangs to do what they want. It's technique, it's something you can learn to do. You have to know what farangs want, and be prepared to give it to them. And what do farangs want? Some just want sex, and they're the easiest to satisfy. Sex is easy. You just lie back and open your legs and let them get on with it. Some farangs who come to Thailand on holiday want a temporary girlfriend. They want sex, but they want someone to show them around, take them to the Grand Palace, that sort of thing, then wave them off at the airport. They're easy to deal with. Some farangs want you to love them, and that's easy to fake, too. It's not magic that Thai girls use to keep farangs, it's psychology. Sunan and Mon taught me how to do it, and now I teach the girls who come down from our village. The first thing you have to teach them is not to be scared of farangs. I tell the girls to think of them as water buffaloes. They're big and they can be intimidating, but they're basically stupid and very easy to lead by the nose. And it doesn't matter if you don't speak very good English. The farangs will always play stupid games with you, and they'll speak really slowly and mime. All you have to do is to be sweet to them. When you first go up to them, you shake their hand or wai, and then you ask them if it's okay to sit down next to them. And you never ask them to buy you a drink, they have to think it's their own idea. That's the big trick, to make them think they're giving, rather than you taking. I never ask a customer to pay my bar fine. I wait for them to ask....

I know this is old hat, but I just finished reading Stephen Leather's, 'Private Dancer.' I wasn't particularly shocked by much of it, I guess, because I experienced some of the same of Pete's misfortunes during my years living in Thailand. I did really like the way Leather set up the story with each character using a monologue to tell the story.

Man, is it a sad story! throughout the story I sympathise with both Pete and Joy

because of the tangled cultural psychology they both put each other through. It is just one huge Thai contradiction to say the least. The worst thing about it is that I know people, Thai women friends and Farang friends of mine, who have had relationships like this, but not with what Pete ultimately encounters.

After reading it I feel very fortunate that I found a good, decent Thai woman that I have had a good marriage with so far. I guess I might be in the minority, I don't know.

i felt more for joy in the book even though she was married she may not have "loved" her husband I think she genuinely loved pete but because pete came from the west being married is a scared thing to a husband and wife and because joy was raised in thailand where love in shown by how much you can support her "money wise"

I was shocked also and it give me a little more insight on that bar world i never been with a bargirl maybe when i was younger i thought about it but i am married now and i would never do that now (thai girl) I like to keep my body parts

I have been peeking at some bargirl websites (porno) and it just breaks my heart one girl they videotaped she look so innocent and after the men talked to her I found out she had only been in pattaya for two weeks she did what they asked but i mean you could tell she wasn't quite sure about having that job.

My apologies to BGs with good hearts (I know there are plenty out there

So it is true then some threads i read makes all of them out to be very evil!!! i don't think this was the case

My apologies to BGs with good hearts (I know there are plenty out there

So it is true then some threads i read makes all of them out to be very evil!!! i don't think this was the case

Of course it's true IamMaiC, the posters of those bad threads just haven't understood why their ex-bargirl girlfriend did to them whatever they did!

I always wanted to see how a regular day for a bargirl was like and I don't mean the sex part at all. Just the dealings with whoever they have as customers and how they interact. I was wondering if the book "Hello My Big Big Honey" was addressing that fact?? I never read it the cover attracted me though Another book is "Even Thai Girls Cry" If it is at all about Bargirls Have any of you read these two books??

I was also wondering are there thai girls that don't work in the major places like nana and patpong that do the same as the bargirls there but works on the side selling her self?? and i don't mean an escort either Thanks

I always wanted to see how a regular day for a bargirl was like  and I don't mean the sex part at all.  Just the dealings with whoever they have as customers and how they interact.....

I spent a year in Bangkok (enough!) and I got to know many bar girls (as 'friends', I might add). One of my favourites was a very pretty girl who was rarely in the bar after 8 or 9 pm because she'd usually been bar-fined by a 'customer'. She wouldn't say 'no' to any youngish man - probably explains why we were just friends, because I'm quite old. Anyway, she had lots of 'boyfriends' and one day my g/f phoned her to find out why she wasn't in the bar because one of her boyfriends was looking for her. It turned out that 5 of her boyfriends had all turned up at the same time, and she'd paid her own bar fine and gone home! LMAO

I always wanted to see how a regular day for a bargirl was like  and I don't mean the sex part at all.   Just the dealings with whoever they have as customers and how they interact.....

I spent a year in Bangkok (enough!) and I got to know many bar girls (as 'friends', I might add). One of my favourites was a very pretty girl who was rarely in the bar after 8 or 9 pm because she'd usually been bar-fined by a 'customer'. She wouldn't say 'no' to any youngish man - probably explains why we were just friends, because I'm quite old. Anyway, she had lots of 'boyfriends' and one day my g/f phoned her to find out why she wasn't in the bar because one of her boyfriends was looking for her. It turned out that 5 of her boyfriends had all turned up at the same time, and she'd paid her own bar fine and gone home! LMAO

does it happen or is it possible to barfine a girl and not have sex?? Can u take her to a movie or dinner?? Is it necessary to sleep with them? I mean believe me I would be tempted if I wasn't already married

You can do whatever you want with them as long as you aren't violent (saddit)

with them. Give yourself time; I can tell you'll brea k down and do it. You're practically chomping at the bit already.

You can do whatever you want with them as long as you aren't violent (saddit)

with them. Give yourself time; I can tell you'll brea k down and do it. You're practically chomping at the bit already.

well kinda hard for me to do it i'm in the states and i do love my wife i was just wondering that's all just trying to find out more about bargirls

You can do whatever you want with them as long as you aren't violent

Only as long as they are consensual! ("Mai dai, toot jep maak maak!")

... violent (saddit) with them

You mean 'sadist', right?

Give yourself time; I can tell you'll brea k down and do it. You're practically chomping at the bit allready.

Can anyone tell me about those two books i mentioned?? "Hello My Big Big Honey" and "Even Thai Girls Cry" do they have anything to do with the Bar Industry??

Can anyone tell me about those two books i mentioned??  "Hello My Big Big Honey" and "Even Thai Girls Cry"  do they have anything to do with the Bar Industry??

Click here;

http://www.dcothai.com/product_info.php?products_id=105

and here:

http://www.bangkokatoz.com/Hello_My_Big_Big_Honey.htm

Can anyone tell me about those two books i mentioned??  "Hello My Big Big Honey" and "Even Thai Girls Cry"   do they have anything to do with the Bar Industry??

Click here;

http://www.dcothai.com/product_info.php?products_id=105

and here:

http://www.bangkokatoz.com/Hello_My_Big_Big_Honey.htm

Thanks RDN I might get those books

Is this thread the 'very first' posted in Bedlam?

Is this thread the 'very first' posted in Bedlam?

Bored suegha?

Rooting around in the Bedlam archives to dredge up old BG threads?

If anyone would like to read Private Dancer, I've attached a pdf copy. I don't think I'm violating any copyright laws by doing so as per the acknowledgement by Stephen Leather at the end of the file.

private_dancer.pdf

Anyway, in accordance with the current rules of Bedlam I'd better close this thread and issue myself a warning for discussing BG's.

/Closed.