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Scampy's Diary

The Gentleman Scamp
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12call Silver Member

12call

Posted
Posted
Right off topic on page 1 - more postings like the above and I'll soon have the longest running thread no worries! :o

BTW - Cheers Doc r.e. title change. :D

UPDATE: NING JUST RANG TO ASK WHAT I'M DOING AND MAKE SURE I DIDN'T SHOW SPLITLID THE PART OF THE HOME MOVIE WHICH BRIEFLY REVEALS HER BOOBIES. :D  :D

I think auld Splitty has seen them already scamp.

Stop shit stirring Paddy.

I've done you a favour and contributed to your return, don't abuse it now. :D

Your 48 hrs to make a decision on a job in BKK has expired.

The Gentleman Scamp Platinum Member

The Gentleman Scamp

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  • Author
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Why did you and ning break up?

Was it really a dad in Ireland?

Where is she now?

Are you getting back with her?

Still not sure we have.

Yes.

Lampang - bored with granny.

She's very beautiful but that's no basis to get back with somebody so I doubt it.

Stocky Ruby Member

Stocky

Posted
Posted
hey scampi , was this a daily or weekly diary ? :o

I think it should move to weekly installments.........

.........presently it's like watching paint dry, sorry Scamp. :D

The Gentleman Scamp Platinum Member

The Gentleman Scamp

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  • Author
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OCT 6th (Wednesday)

Sorry for the lull everybody. :o

After spending all day on the bus on Monday I arrived in Phuket where I am now staying in a nice self contained bivouac.

Driving here is a nightmare, I dressed up all smart today and went to a language school that currently has no vacancies... Not good, down to about 7,000 bht and need to find something soon, ANYTHING.

motorbike accident

On Monday night Tornado took me to the Tai Pan bar and I have also been re-united with Mod (Long story which I will paste later) who I have not seen for two years - she's still working at Joy's bar.

Last night - my first night on the road in Phuket - I had an accident.

I was going up hill, doing about 50, when I hit a brick sized rock, front wheel first.

Every sense I had and some I didn't know I had, kicked into action and God only knows how, but I stayed on the bike and stopped it.

The wheel was buckled and luckily for me the Thai guys in the truck in front of me took me and the bike to a repair place and I was on the road again withing 45minutes, scanning every square inch of the road and changing my headlights so I didn't miss an oil patch, let alone any obstacles.

Subsequently I missed the turn off to Chalong.

There's an old geezer who owns a bar in Soi Eric who is from my town in Buckinghamshire*, I met up with him briefly but he only wanted to talk about how dire Chesham is and Chelsea FC.

I think Mod is more of a useful friend to have as her sister's boyfriend is a teacher.

I hate the idea of teaching again but hey, beggars can't be choosers.

Mod stayed with me last night but we didn't have sex because A: I've known her too long and she's like an old friend now. B: It only causes complications. C: She's piled on a few pounds since I last saw her. D: I just wanted company.

blood

Before we went to bed last night, Mod acidentally knocked a glass of my bedside table and when I heard the noise from the bathroom I walked out barefoot right onto the shrapnel.

I can't recall ever producing such a large, thick, dark puddle of blood.

Have you seen Cape Fear? The Robert DeNiro one? The bit where Nick Nolte walks into the kitcken and slips up on that big pool of blood? It was almost that big but not quite and the ensuing feeling of dizziness contributed to a good sleep.

Sex was the last thing on my mind. My face was red and my eyes were puffy and I was wearing a left sock full of claret sodden tissue.

fatigue

Sleep was the only thing I needed more than a job last night...

I finally had a lie in today where I actually slept - until LC rang to say she'd arrived.

I fear Tornado thinks I was up all night shagging and drinking which couldn't be further from the truth, I turned down lots of free bargirl whiskey last night for the simple fact that I needed a real sleep, i.e. not one fulled by alcohol.

Finally - Ning called today, asking why I had not called to wish her a happy birthday. I felt a little bad but I have bigger things to worry about at the moment. It's also a week this evening since she left Hua Hin.

I'm off to eat something and see what RDN looks like.

*When I say 'my town', I wasn't born there, but I lived there for most of the past twelve years. I was born in the Isle Of Wight.

Wolfie Ruby Member

Wolfie

Posted
Posted

Yeah gotta watch the roads out here mate...

My secret is to close my eyes, imagine total chaos, coupled with a healthy dose of insanity and that normally gets me to where i want to go without incident. Exception to that rule is the last 10mtrs from my house where im quite prone to coming off the bike (happened a few times now) must remember to clear away that gravel.

RDN Ruby Member

RDN

Posted
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I was born in the Isle Of Wight.

Ahhh... that explains a lot.... :o:D

totster :wub:

Amazing isn't it? I was born in Pompey - just across the Solent from the I o. W :D

Anyway, a good night out, good chat, good pool - even though he beat me :D . Hope he can find a job soon 'cause he's a nice genuine bloke. Now lets see what Friday brings... :D

dr_Pat_Pong Star Member

dr_Pat_Pong

Posted
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I was born in the Isle Of Wight.

Ahhh... that explains a lot.... :o:D

totster :wub:

Amazing isn't it? I was born in Pompey - just across the Solent from the I o. W :D

Anyway, a good night out, good chat, good pool - even though he beat me :D . Hope he can find a job soon 'cause he's a nice genuine bloke. Now lets see what Friday brings... :D

Friday will bring the next thrilling and totally enthralling episode of ' The Life of Scampy '

12call Silver Member

12call

Posted
Posted

Maybe she was the ONE Scamp!!!

Is it getting better

Or do you feel the same

Will it make it easier on you now

You got someone to blame

You say...

One love

One life

When it's one need

In the night

One love

We get to share it

Leaves you baby if you

Don't care for it

Did I disappoint you

Or leave a bad taste in your mouth

You act like you never had love

And you want me to go without

Well it's...

Too late

Tonight

To drag the past out into the light

We're one, but we're not the same

We get to

Carry each other

Carry each other

One...

Have you come here for forgiveness

Have you come tor raise the dead

Have you come here to play Jesus

To the lepers in your head

Did I ask too much

More than a lot

You gave me nothing

Now it's all I got

We're one

But we're not the same

Well we

Hurt each other

Then we do it again

You say

Love is a temple

Love a higher law

Love is a temple

Love the higher law

You ask me to enter

But then you make me crawl

And I can't be holding on

To what you got

When all you got is hurt

One love

One blood

One life

You got to do what you should

One life

With each other

Sisters

Brothers

One life

But we're not the same

We get to

Carry each other

Carry each other

One...life

One

The Gentleman Scamp Platinum Member

The Gentleman Scamp

Posted
  • Author
Posted

I enjoyed re-reading it.

Only problem is it has caused a diversion from the thread - a detour to Farang Pub - fun, food, entertainment and Expat life.

Oct 7th - Yesterday.

I am a bit hungover, you know, dehydrated.

After spending all afternoon in Tornado's 4x4 looking for jobs, I couldn't find any so we went to a bar and drunk solidly for nine hours - maybe more.

I got so drunk that I got booed off stage singing My Way and spent the latter part of the night feeling sorry for myself and watching my fellow members go in and out of focus.

I think I was drinking Tiger beer - LC had turned up in a rent-a-jeep, wearing a Union Jack smock and a wry smile, Wolfie was drinking glasses of rum and human blood and looked a bit like that bloke from X-Men with the blades wot shoot out of his wrist only without the sideburns (and Wolfie's eyes are mustard yellow whereas Hugh Jackman's are blue.)

I remember inviting myself on stage a second time to sing Better Man by Robbie Williams and I got booed off doing that also... Or was that before I did My Way? The audience didn't look amused and the sliding door to the pool room had been slid shut but I stood my ground and focused on RDN's head which was floating left and right around the pool table - he was doing rather well, better than I was singing, that was for sure.

By the way, when I say his head was 'floating', I don't mean all by itself, it was of course attached to his neck and the rest of his body which was out of focus but yes, RDN does have a neck - Wolfie can confirm this as he had been staring at it until LC arrived.

I think Tornado drunk the most, but he was a true gentleman, reassuringly informing me that I should refrain from singing when inebriated. He kindly escorted LC to the ladies and even ordered a taxi so we could all go home safely.

Wolfie however was nowhere to be seen so we went without him, though LC says she saw a bat flying into the Phuket sky as the taxi pulled away from the clifftop and down Soi Winnits.

Wolfie Ruby Member

Wolfie

Posted
Posted

I can confirm that Scampy is not a good singer... i've heard tourtured cats that sound better... sorry scamp, but i had to say it :D

RDN does indeed have a neck, although i couldnt get close enough for a bite. LC offered me her neck several times, but the garlic she'd been eating earlier put me off a little bit... :D

:o

The Gentleman Scamp Platinum Member

The Gentleman Scamp

Posted
  • Author
Posted
I can confirm that Scampy is not a good singer... i've heard tourtured cats that sound better... sorry scamp, but i had to say it :D

RDN does indeed have a neck, although i couldnt get close enough for a bite. LC offered me her neck several times, but the garlic she'd been eating earlier put me off a little bit... :D

:o

I am a good singer, I was just too pissed.

I was hitting all the right notes but the band were too slow, they were playing as if they wanted to stop.

I am a good singer I am, Valerie from Food Records told me so.

RDN Ruby Member

RDN

Posted
Posted
I am a good singer, I was just too pissed.

I was hitting all the right notes but the band were too slow, they were playing as if they wanted to stop.

I am a good singer I am, Valerie from Food Records told me so.

I agree with you, Scampy! You are a good singer - the one you did before "My Way" was best. But the "band" just did not help after that... :D

And you can hit all the right notes - unlike most Thai girls in karaoke bars :o:D:wub:

LC offering Wolfie her neck? :D I do remember LC with her arm around your shoulder at one stage... :D

Totster Star Member

Totster

Posted
Posted
Friday Oct 8th

Yes, as a matter of fact French Fannies there is some news.

It seems I have a job. :D

Wooo Hoooo ..... I'm proud of you also.... :D

totster :o

Tornado Platinum Member

Tornado

Posted
Posted
I enjoyed re-reading it.

Only problem is it has caused a diversion from the thread - a detour to Farang Pub - fun, food, entertainment and Expat life.

Oct 7th - Yesterday.

I am a bit hungover, you know, dehydrated.

After spending all afternoon in Tornado's 4x4 looking for jobs, I couldn't find any so we went to a bar and drunk solidly for nine hours - maybe more.

I got so drunk that I got booed off stage singing My Way and spent the latter part of the night feeling sorry for myself and watching my fellow members go in and out of focus.

I think I was drinking Tiger beer - LC had turned up in a rent-a-jeep, wearing a Union Jack smock and a wry smile, Wolfie was drinking glasses of rum and human blood and looked a bit like that bloke from X-Men with the blades wot shoot out of his wrist only without the sideburns (and Wolfie's eyes are mustard yellow whereas Hugh Jackman's are blue.)

I remember inviting myself on stage a second time to sing Better Man by Robbie Williams and I got booed off doing that also... Or was that before I did My Way? The audience didn't look amused and the sliding door to the pool room had been slid shut but I stood my ground and focused on RDN's head which was floating left and right around the pool table - he was doing rather well, better than I was singing, that was for sure.

By the way, when I say his head was 'floating', I don't mean all by itself, it was of course attached to his neck and the rest of his body which was out of focus but yes, RDN does have a neck - Wolfie can confirm this as he had been staring at it until LC arrived.

I think Tornado drunk the most, but he was a true gentleman, reassuringly informing me that I should refrain from singing when inebriated. He kindly escorted LC to the ladies and even ordered a taxi so we could all go home safely.

Wolfie however was nowhere to be seen so we went without him, though LC says she saw a bat flying into the Phuket sky as the taxi pulled away from the clifftop and down Soi Winnits.

"After spending all afternoon in Tornado's 4x4 looking for jobs, I couldn't find any so we went to a bar and drunk solidly for nine hours - maybe more."

We went to one place and then decided to get on the piss from 3pm onwards.

"I think Tornado drunk the most, but he was a true gentleman, reassuringly informing me that I should refrain from singing when inebriated. He kindly escorted LC to the ladies and even ordered a taxi so we could all go home safely."

I did drink the most I think as I cannot remember 90% of the night. The small part I do remember was standing at the foot of the stage and telling you how sh!t you were at singing and to get the f+ck off the stage. I also did not call anyone a cab (I think) and was definately not taking LC back and forwards to the toilet.

I remember meeting Wolfie and RDN and I remember RDN being a nice bloke and myself and Wolfie having a confrontation about something?????

Anyway it was a full 9 hour session and I have payed for it all day. I just wish that scamp hadnt organised everyone to come down without a plan as I was to drunk to meet new people.

Apologies to RDN, If you recognise me somewhere say hello as I cannot recall what any of you look like. All I remember was RDN being mid thirties and having one gammy leg and Wolfie being a nice bloke. It is all so confusing.

On the upside, Scampy has a place to stay, a job, plenty of mates and he has only been here a week. Yet being a ###### pom, he is still complaining.

And yes, he is terrible singer and it was the first time ever that I had seen someone booed so terribly on stage. The band actually stopped playing so he would get off the stage :o

RDN Ruby Member

RDN

Posted
Posted
.... Apologies to RDN, If you recognise me somewhere say hello as I cannot recall what any of you look like. All I remember was RDN being mid thirties and having one gammy leg ....

Jesus H Christ - I told you not to mention the bl00dy leg! Some mate you turned out to be :o

RDN Ruby Member

RDN

Posted
Posted
Deleated.  :o

I bet this indicates the beginning of a new romance, with the obligatory Scampy hishaps shaping an eventful Sunday... :D

Dear Scampy, I wonder what sort of girl should be your next girlfriend?

1. Do you think she should be a sweet, brown faced girl from the local street market, wears 59 baht shorts, 99 baht T-shirt and plastic flip-flops? Maybe she sells gung or boo with her Mum? Sweet little thing with a lovely smile and a good heart?

2. Or should she be micro-skirted, fish-net stockinged, open-shirted, tattooed breasted, bleach-blonde hair and wears a cowboy hat? Possibly a t*rt?

If you think number 1., then what the **** was Friday night all about??

Just worrying a little about your delicate heart, dear boy :D

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