Question For The Unfaithful Guys Out There

[Naam]

Yet crossing the road to get there is still more risky- no need to rationalise it away to make oneself feel better.

Why would anyone want or need to cross a road? What if your umbrella bearer gets tangled up in between the cars and motorcycles?

good question! "this" side of the road is anyway much better

[Dakhar]

OK, I'm not an unfaithful guy - I'm a girl - here's my answer anyway.

I take care of my husband, and make sure that he gets EVERYTHING he needs from me. Basically, I am my husband's girlfriend.

You are feeling guilt about it because of having to lie about it. All the reasons you have for cheating may totally hold water, but you made vows in the begninning - 'forsaking all others...', and as a human being with a heart and soul, you feel guilt.

If you're not getting what you need from your Mrs., why don't you tell her so? It's a wife's duty to keep her man satisfied so long as he isn't an addict or abuser. If she recognizes what she needs to do, then you'll be one happy man.....If she refuses, then she is breaking her vow as well - and you both need to figure things out!

Buy her this book: 'The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands'. Read it first, and then find a way to give it to her. She may freak out at first, but be patient.

Lying is never going to feel good. Nor are the diseases you will probably get by sleeping with loose women. Try to fix your marriage so you can have that bond - keep your vows - and get everything a man needs and deserves. But seriously - find that book. Good luck.

If you ever become single again (sounds highly unlikely) please let me know!!

But more seriously.. as garro said.. there is a high value placed on "new". Even if new is not better than old/current, that quality of being "new" is the key. I reckon only the most talented women can overcome this if unlucky enough to be married to a man with the obsession for "new". I have a couple of married friends in London who swear by roleplay.. changing hair colour, etc.. for me it wouldn't be real enough.. but then I've never tried. Plus how would you overcome the fact that the mans brain finds youth attractive, even though his body and your body do not get any younger. I think you can do everything in your power as a talented, intelligent and attractive women and still fail to keep a man, thanks to things out of your control. Thats if you are unlucky enough to have married that type of man, which I propose is the majority, based on no research whatsoever. Please dont take my comments personally- you're just words on my monitor screen.

Wow, a woman that finds pride in giving her husband satisfaction, lots of women today find that to be demeening. Make no mistake, I do find my wife to be sweet, attractive intellegent, a good mother etc etc.... sex.... well as I said, we do not talk about it. Why? Because it leads to arguments. Again, things went warped after the baby, and trust me I do not resent my son. We used to have a very good sex life together. Lots of it in fact.... any how, no reason to dwell on it, there is no sollution... I just gave up on it.

[britmaveric]

What you have is a good mother - not a wife. I'm not trying to be harsh, but this is unacceptable - least it would be for me. Shagging isnt everything, but you def deserve it least once a week bare minimum even if she doesnt care for it. It's called making your partner happy and showing love/affection. I'd take her to counseling and see what the true root of the problem is. Something is just really off about this situation.

Edited April 13, 2008 by britmaveric

[OlRedEyes]

OK, I'm not an unfaithful guy - I'm a girl - here's my answer anyway.

I take care of my husband, and make sure that he gets EVERYTHING he needs from me. Basically, I am my husband's girlfriend.

Maybe. My experience is that 'good' wives give everything they THINK, or wish to believe, their husband needs. There's most often a world of difference.

Monogamy is unnatural, and has proven a failure throughout history. But society clings desperately to it, just like they do to religion.

Some people love to espouse that they have intelligence that overrules their biological programming. Haven't seen too much evidence of intelligence in the human race during my journey.... myself included. Imagined intelligence, yes.

Sex and procreation is THE purpose of life. (Not monogamy). We are born from sex, for sex. All other life functions are merely in support of this goal, 'intelligence' included. This is why religion has to demean sex. It is in direct competition with it.

Edited April 13, 2008 by OlRedEyes

[Dakhar]

What you have is a good mother - not a wife. I'm not trying to be harsh, but this is unacceptable - least it would be for me. Shagging isnt everything, but you def deserve it least once a week bare minimum even if she doesnt care for it. It's called making your partner happy and showing love/affection. I'd take her to counseling and see what the true root of the problem is. Something is just really off about this situation.

No what I have is a good co-worker. In the US we had a clear distinction, I worked she was a wife and a stay at home mom. Now, since moving here, all kinds of things changed. But I think one of the many main issues is that we spend too much time together. She has been like a PA at work, but to be honest YOU DO NOT WANT A WIFE FOR A PA AT THE OFFICE. But like I said things are changing job wise, and I just found a great PA so I hope things work out for the better.

Counselling yes that would probably help, but I think there needs to be some changes made, such as the work environment which like I said is changing.

Truth is, like in real life, I do not see any point in gabbing about here or anywhere. But maybe I am just delaying things?

[the highlander]

What you have is a good mother - not a wife. I'm not trying to be harsh, but this is unacceptable - least it would be for me. Shagging isnt everything, but you def deserve it least once a week bare minimum even if she doesnt care for it. It's called making your partner happy and showing love/affection. I'd take her to counseling and see what the true root of the problem is. Something is just really off about this situation.

I agree 100%

Being a martyr and just accepting the fact that your wife does not want you to have sex will do you no good in the long run!!

You are a man and obviously you still want sex! Do not apologise for that!

As for the risk of Aids from some of the scenarios listed above make me laugh so hard!!

I am a gambling man so I understand odds!

People who live in LOS and worry about contracting HIV through protected sex, when there such is carnage on the roads everyday makes me wonder if they are at all rational!!

[koto]

...and i know there are a ton of you, probably more than half of you are unfaithful to your wife or girl friend. logically, i don't see the harm in cheating but my conscience keeps getting the best of me. how did you get over your fear? i tell myself

1. your sex drive is stronger than hers

2. you think about sex a million times more than she does and initiate sex 90% of the time

3. you are still there for her and do not love her less if you cheat on her

4. its not your nature to be with one women only

5. you only want the other women for sex

6. you dont like everything about yourself but you cant change yourself

but still, i cannot get over the long years of living in the West and the stuff they filled my brain with. there is always the fear there. comments? Obviously most Thai males do not having any fear in this area.

Never get over your fear, wife, brother, boy friend, 2nd cousin, find out, maybe you die or come close, love the one your with or cover your back jack, live with the fear, or don't play the game, a younger lady should want it more then us elders, unless your a bad lay, get some training films and start giving some good face, take 100mg Viagra and don't call me in the morning, "The life of the people is in the heart and the land"

May health and happiness be with us all.

Koto Keeper of the ocean

[koto]

As a dear friend of mine once said.....

"There's more than enough for any man at home - It's just some guys can't reach it"

Now that's what i'm talkin about, if you ain't got the love going on both sides and your just the baht guy, Your renting someone and you will never feel complete one should stay single and do many till you drop, finding sex that you pay for is easy, finding love, and you still pay for it, is true happiness, cha,cha,cha

[worldfun]

Does US laws not include sex into the duty of the wedding wows?

Anyway if you could have a divorce in LOS I'm sure LOS laws could be applied or?

Probably even better try out that counseling & do it fast is my advice!

If sex was great before there is no logical reasons why it couldn't be again?

Else pair up with a nice 'gik' - internet is a great place to meet one if you have the free time ;-)

Anyway thanks for the tip on the 'proper care and feedings of husbands' book - I'll see if there's some new tricks in there I forgot to teahc the girls LOL

[GuestHouse]

Let's just get rid of a few myths.

Firstly this idea that monogamy is a western/non Thai thing - Yeh right! - If that was indeed true Thai women would not have the reputation they have for cutting dicks off cheating husbands.

Secondly men want more sex than women - Yeh right! - You personally might want more, but it's been my experience that a woman in a loving and secure relationship will (going back to the plenty enough for any man at home) want as much sex as any husband/boyfriend could dream of. So maybe its more a case of not being able to reach what's already available.

Men want sex and getting lots of sex is manly - Yeh right! - If you are a man (ie have a backbone, the courage of your own convictions and are able to stand by your decisions) you wouldn't sneak out for a crafty shag on the side, you use your balls to face up to your partner and explain to her you've decided you need sex outside of your relationship.

How many guys do I know that give it the 'one of the guys - loads of women' verbal garbage, but when they get home they turn into Mr Mouse!

Edited April 13, 2008 by GuestHouse

[Dakhar]

Does US laws not include sex into the duty of the wedding wows?

Anyway if you could have a divorce in LOS I'm sure LOS laws could be applied or?

Probably even better try out that counseling & do it fast is my advice!

If sex was great before there is no logical reasons why it couldn't be again?

Else pair up with a nice 'gik' - internet is a great place to meet one if you have the free time ;-)

Anyway thanks for the tip on the 'proper care and feedings of husbands' book - I'll see if there's some new tricks in there I forgot to teahc the girls LOL

It varries from state to state, and the state we got married in, is a state known heavily to patronize women.... and then there is child support. The type of money I make back home.... well, lets just say she would be doing GREAT in Thailand for sure, and there is no way around that. I have to have a license issued by the state in order to do the type of work that I do. If you do not pay child support (as one should) the license is revoked.

Look folks, some of you guys are saying I am being a martyr, and I am not. I have learned to cope and I just do not let it get me down any longer. No discussion of details or admonissions to be made here, but the "gik" approach is not going to work. Heng pegged me very well. Not too mention there is more than a sexual ellement missing... I am talking, the careing touch, the caress.... the smelling of hair the holding of a shoulder....

Heck, 60 years a go it was common for married folks not to sleep together, I know my grand parents did not, and I know old folks don't have sex... so what is the big deal? Frankly, I would prefer to go without, rather than all the baggage that comes with it via gicks etc. (but in some respects I miss things)

Any how I thought I would share with you folks something.... just so you know what men can go through.

http://health.yahoo.com/experts/sexualheal...less-marriages/

[Dakhar]

Let's just get rid of a few myths.

Firstly this idea that monogamy is a western/non Thai thing - Yeh right! - If that was indeed true Thai women would not have the reputation they have for cutting dicks off cheating husbands.

Secondly men want more sex than women - Yeh right! - You personally might want more, but it's been my experience that a woman in a loving and secure relationship will (going back to the plenty enough for any man at home) want as much sex as any husband/boyfriend could dream of. So maybe its more a case of not being able to reach what's already available.

Men want sex and getting lots of sex is manly - Yeh right! - If you are a man (ie have a backbone, the courage of your own convictions and are able to stand by your decisions) you wouldn't sneak out for a crafty shag on the side, you use your balls to face up to your partner and explain to her you've decided you need sex outside of your relationship.

How many guys do I know that give it the 'one of the guys - loads of women' verbal garbage, but when they get home they turn into Mr Mouse!

In some respects I would say you are correct. I was in one relationship with a woman that honestly, she was a N3mpho. I mean 3-4 times A DAY. Every day, if not more. We were poor, and I blame it on the fact the only furniture we had was a bed, and we did not even have a TV (college)....

Well obviously that relationship ended. After 10 years or more, she e-mailed me and said she still thinks about those days.... me, I can't believe they ever exsisted! Ehhh any how, off to bed.

[lardy]

if you use a condom its almost impossible to get HIV.

can't you just go visit a friend in bangkok or pattaya or join a charity organization every now and then?

If I use a condom its almost impossible to enjoy sex its like licking an ice cream with your tongue in a plastic bag!

[bkkblueeyes]

In other words to the OP your just really horny.

I can give you a few tips on getting over the fear.

But I’m not going to.

Instead ill suggest buy a X-Boy 360 or a PS3. Or even the lasts PC .Shoot some Golf.

Buy a sports bike. Anything that is cool.

In your free time drink with your mates and Shag your girl hard when you get back home and go and play the Computer games again.

If you break up find a rebound girl or 2 until you in the next one.

You’ll get the hang of it.

Its just the media and these short skirts with nice asses messing with your head!!

The most powerful thing a human can do is beating temptation.

And as many people pointed out, when you’re not in a relationship then you can ad the notches to your belt

As for you DARKAR!

Grow some balls man.

Seriously!

Just 6 months down the Track form now.

You can work out time to time. Eat A bit Healthy!! Lose some weight and get a bit fit.

Change Beer and Fatty Meats To Whisky and Spicy Noodles.

When you feeling a bit more confident about your self.. Go shopping around on the market for something to slip in your wife’s to get her in

the mood.

And play a little rough.

I don’t think romance is going to turn her on. But Power and control will.

Have a secret savings account as well to give you some added confidence.

But most important just do it for your self and don’t go down with out a fight.

More I wan to say but I want to cook some noodles.

John rambo.

Live for nothing or die for something.

Peace.

[jayhech]

say you been with a girl for a few years and everything is perfect except everytime you go out you cannot take your eyes off the other girls. you do not want to learn their names. you do not want to take them to lunch. you do not want to become emotionally attached to them. you just want to ravish them.

now the standard line is to say that you should not be in a long term relationship, that these two life styles or instincts cannot co-exist... while i obviously understand that its unethical to cheat when you have agreed not to, I will never for a second accept this notion that once you 'fall in love' it means that no longer want to sleep with other women or that if you want to sleep with other women you 'arent ready' for a long term relationship. ]

lets not forget that in many places, like Thailand, its the norm for men to sleep with multiple women. Monogomy in the West is just a culture thing, just like having 4 wifes in muslim lands is cultural.

i guess i should go break my gfs heart now.

"you don't love me anymore?"

i still love you.

"then why do you want to sleep with other women?"

because my body tells me too.

i never thought i would be here either. i spent all my life watching movies where the guy cheating looks like a huge scumbag. i guess i am that scumbag now.

YoungFarang13, are you really sure that everything between you and your gf is perfect? Are you believing that she's actually the one you're happy with? Because if she is, you won't be sleeping around. You're just not brave enough to break up with your gf and be single because you know so well that after that one night stand shag night after night, at the end of the day, you are single and no one's there for you. There's no one that you can trust, that you can really talk to. I think you're actually using your gf as a loneliness buffer.

I'm not a shrink but as a woman (sorry to pry this topic it's really interesting to read many replies here) I think maybe it's time you step up and be brave if you're not happy being in the relationship with your gf then stop wasting your time, stop wasting her time and, most importantly, avoid screwing up your gf's life in a long run.

[jstumbo]

She has been like a PA at work, but to be honest YOU DO NOT WANT A WIFE FOR A PA AT THE OFFICE. But like I said things are changing job wise, and I just found a great PA so I hope things work out for the better.

Maybe if the wife helps out with the duties of a PA, the new PA could help out with some of the duties of a wife?

[siamamerican]

Let's just get rid of a few myths.

Firstly this idea that monogamy is a western/non Thai thing - Yeh right! - If that was indeed true Thai women would not have the reputation they have for cutting dicks off cheating husbands.

Secondly men want more sex than women - Yeh right! - You personally might want more, but it's been my experience that a woman in a loving and secure relationship will (going back to the plenty enough for any man at home) want as much sex as any husband/boyfriend could dream of. So maybe its more a case of not being able to reach what's already available.

Men want sex and getting lots of sex is manly - Yeh right! - If you are a man (ie have a backbone, the courage of your own convictions and are able to stand by your decisions) you wouldn't sneak out for a crafty shag on the side, you use your balls to face up to your partner and explain to her you've decided you need sex outside of your relationship.

How many guys do I know that give it the 'one of the guys - loads of women' verbal garbage, but when they get home they turn into Mr Mouse!

I disagree with most of this post, except the that monogamy isn't a western thing. The rest seems to ignore reality. The differences between men and women is what attracts them to each other. Why does LOS attract disproportionate number of men?

Most men I know act like one of the guys. We would rather dream of women, tell stupid stories, and admire beautiful women than shop or decorate the home. Are we Neanderthals? No, we are confident enough to be ourself.

[kat]

....sorry Heng but that one went rightover my head too....Im not taking the mickey but "Alpha" males surely unlike lions its not just based on strenghth,leadership yes otherwise Mick Mcmanus would be a sex god..someone will have to explain to me what makes an"Alpha"male...can someone define "alpha" male....i thought it was "power"....wiki says power.....political,social etc.....maybe thats why i don't understand some of your posts Heng you must be big and hairy right?

Was saying that alphas don't need to fit any preconceived notions of what they might be doing during Songkran, since alphas tend to give themselves/create the freedom to do whatever they want. Of course like all things, it's still relative. Alphas aren't gods, everyone has limits - and there's always someone higher and lower in the big scheme of things. But as it pertains to this thread, IMO restricting your libido and desire for sexual variety is anti-alpha and might even make one less competitive in say business or sports. That said, I do believe concepts like 'traditional monogamy,' 'organized religion,' and 'paying your taxes in full' IS a good thing for the world as a whole. ...it's just not for me. I say "good job folks, keep following those rules!"

Happy Songkran to you as well.

I like the idea of creating the freedom to do whatever they want, when it comes to real talent or ability to construct that freedom. But, I hope you understand that the freedom to buy women or people doesn't make you an alpha.

I would just like to add Dakhar. I spent some time working as a palliative care nurse,and I can assure you that your deathbed is the wrong time for regrets. Live life while you are still alive. Unfortunately being alive sometimes means taking risks and one of these risks will likely kill you one day. That's life.

Nice post.

[kat]

I'm a serial monogamist, so if I can't stay faithful or commit to someone, I don't.

If I can't trust someone, I don't

In part the divorce rate in the West is so high because there are so many people that should remain single who don't.

But then again, I'd much rather remain single than be in a marriage based on fear and need. That is my choice.

Education and fearlessness has been a good antidote in that regard.

[TheDon]

Let's just get rid of a few myths.

Firstly this idea that monogamy is a western/non Thai thing - Yeh right! - If that was indeed true Thai women would not have the reputation they have for cutting dicks off cheating husbands.

Secondly men want more sex than women - Yeh right! - You personally might want more, but it's been my experience that a woman in a loving and secure relationship will (going back to the plenty enough for any man at home) want as much sex as any husband/boyfriend could dream of. So maybe its more a case of not being able to reach what's already available.

Men want sex and getting lots of sex is manly - Yeh right! - If you are a man (ie have a backbone, the courage of your own convictions and are able to stand by your decisions) you wouldn't sneak out for a crafty shag on the side, you use your balls to face up to your partner and explain to her you've decided you need sex outside of your relationship.

How many guys do I know that give it the 'one of the guys - loads of women' verbal garbage, but when they get home they turn into Mr Mouse!

I disagree with most of this post, except the that monogamy isn't a western thing. The rest seems to ignore reality. The differences between men and women is what attracts them to each other. Why does LOS attract disproportionate number of men?

Most men I know act like one of the guys. We would rather dream of women, tell stupid stories, and admire beautiful women than shop or decorate the home. Are we Neanderthals? No, we are confident enough to be ourself.

Yeah I agree with that.

[kat]

double post.

Edited April 13, 2008 by kat

[kat]

Let's just get rid of a few myths.

Firstly this idea that monogamy is a western/non Thai thing - Yeh right! - If that was indeed true Thai women would not have the reputation they have for cutting dicks off cheating husbands.

Secondly men want more sex than women - Yeh right! - You personally might want more, but it's been my experience that a woman in a loving and secure relationship will (going back to the plenty enough for any man at home) want as much sex as any husband/boyfriend could dream of. So maybe its more a case of not being able to reach what's already available.

Men want sex and getting lots of sex is manly - Yeh right! - If you are a man (ie have a backbone, the courage of your own convictions and are able to stand by your decisions) you wouldn't sneak out for a crafty shag on the side, you use your balls to face up to your partner and explain to her you've decided you need sex outside of your relationship.

How many guys do I know that give it the 'one of the guys - loads of women' verbal garbage, but when they get home they turn into Mr Mouse!

I disagree with most of this post, except the that monogamy isn't a western thing. The rest seems to ignore reality. The differences between men and women is what attracts them to each other. Why does LOS attract disproportionate number of men? ... No, we are confident enough to be ourself.

I don't think confidence is the issue, because there are loads of super confident men that do not relocate to Thailand. In fact, one of my overwhelming experiences of Western men in Thailand was that they were much less confident.

Care to elaborate on your question?

edit: quote

Edited April 13, 2008 by kat

[Heng]

I like the idea of creating the freedom to do whatever they want, when it comes to real talent or ability to construct that freedom. But, I hope you understand that the freedom to buy women or people doesn't make you an alpha.

I'm not buying them Kat, I'm just renting female service providers for no strings attached sex and the endless variety they provide. I didn't say it made me an alpha. I said that denying one's sexual urges and having the same meal everyday is anti-alpha. The renting portion merely is a convenience like 7-11 (where I ALSO don't get the same thing everytime I walk in). All other acquisition-of-sex+variety methods with strings attached would be detrimental to my freedom and yes, home life.

I suppose you believe that the guys who are monagamous and perhaps the one's raising other people's children from other marriages and unions are the true alphas, eh?

[kat]

I like the idea of creating the freedom to do whatever they want, when it comes to real talent or ability to construct that freedom. But, I hope you understand that the freedom to buy women or people doesn't make you an alpha.

I'm not buying them Kat, I'm just renting female service providers for no strings attached sex and the endless variety they provide. I didn't say it made me an alpha. I said that denying one's sexual urges and having the same meal everyday is anti-alpha. The renting portion merely is a convenience like 7-11 (where I ALSO don't get the same thing everytime I walk in). All other acquisition-of-sex+variety methods with strings attached would be detrimental to my freedom and yes, home life.

I suppose you believe that the guys who are monagamous and perhaps the one's raising other people's children from other marriages and unions are the true alphas, eh?

No, not in the least. I just don't think that renting (or buying/paying for sexual services), monogamy, or non-monogamy have anything to do with the construct of "alpha". I am also not a believer in denying sexual urges, or that monogamy necessarily denies these urges or makes a male "anti-alpha". But, I also don't equate women or relationships to meals or something to be "consumed", with all of the wrappings and extra packaging to be disposed of at a convenience store. *That creates a lot of human waste, doesn't it?

I think if there is such an issue with settling down with one woman to the point that one becomes dependent upon rented sex, there are other issues at play besides monogamy.

*added

Edited April 13, 2008 by kat

[siamamerican]

I disagree with most of this post, except the that monogamy isn't a western thing. The rest seems to ignore reality. The differences between men and women is what attracts them to each other. Why does LOS attract disproportionate number of men?

I don't think confidence is the issue, because there are loads of super confident men that do not relocate to Thailand. In fact, one of my overwhelming experiences of Western men in Thailand was that they were much less confident.

Care to elaborate on your question?

edit: quote

I was speaking of my friends, not western men living in Thailand. I agree with you 100% - LOS attracts many men lacking confidence. I stated this on a few posts on different topics, the last few days.

I wasn't clear with my question of why LOS attracts a disproportionate number of men. Many women, families, and young adventure seekers travel to LOS. Also, there are those that visit LOS because of the availability of sex. The tourists of this ilk are predominately men. Hence the disproportionate number of men. No scientific data to back this up - just a personal observation.

[Heng]

I like the idea of creating the freedom to do whatever they want, when it comes to real talent or ability to construct that freedom. But, I hope you understand that the freedom to buy women or people doesn't make you an alpha.

I'm not buying them Kat, I'm just renting female service providers for no strings attached sex and the endless variety they provide. I didn't say it made me an alpha. I said that denying one's sexual urges and having the same meal everyday is anti-alpha. The renting portion merely is a convenience like 7-11 (where I ALSO don't get the same thing everytime I walk in). All other acquisition-of-sex+variety methods with strings attached would be detrimental to my freedom and yes, home life.

I suppose you believe that the guys who are monagamous and perhaps the one's raising other people's children from other marriages and unions are the true alphas, eh?

No, not in the least. I just don't think that renting (or buying/paying for sexual services), monogamy, or non-monogamy have anything to do with the construct of "alpha". I am also not a believer in denying sexual urges, or that monogamy necessarily denies these urges or makes a male "anti-alpha". But, I also don't equate women or relationships to meals or something to be "consumed", with all of the wrappings and extra packaging to be disposed of at a convenience store. *That creates a lot of human waste, doesn't it?

I think if there is such an issue with settling down with one woman to the point that one becomes dependent upon rented sex, there are other issues at play besides monogamy.

*added

All women aren't something to be consumed. All men aren't wife beaters. If an adult women wishes to engage in a mutually beneficial exchange, I think it's her right. As for sexual urges, again I must say that it's not just the urge, but also the desire for variety in fulfilling that urge. I suppose it wouldn't score any points to say that I'm a rather environmentally conscious "consumer" and do not leave much human waste? I'm the nice guy punter who doesn't consume to relieve stress with anger or anguish, who tips well above the going rate, who doesn't condescend, etc.

I think settling down with one woman and using rented sex can coexist and even enhance a relationship. I know it's hard to believe since you disagree with my behaviour, but my wife and I are a couple who are in fact much envied by our social group of famlies, friends, and peers. We are best friends and tend to only argue about silly things like the color of paint or selection of a sofa. I don't drink heavily, smoke, nor gamble. I don't know if you can tell from my posts, but I rarely get agitated or cranky and I think that much of it comes from the balance I maintain in my eating, sleeping, exercise, and sexing habits.

[kat]

No, I don't find it hard to believe that you are a good husband or person Heng. And yes, I think it does make a difference that you are an "environmentally conscious" consumer and tip and treat them decently. I think it is easy and in some ways preferable for infidelity to be worked out through commercial sex workers. But, I think on both a societal and individual level there are other problems and missed opportunities that arise from habitual use of sex workers as a social or sexual outlet. It misdirects that energy away from your wife, and never enables the person to push through the inability to completely commit.

But, that is just my 5 baht's worth.

[kat]

I disagree with most of this post, except the that monogamy isn't a western thing. The rest seems to ignore reality. The differences between men and women is what attracts them to each other. Why does LOS attract disproportionate number of men?

I don't think confidence is the issue, because there are loads of super confident men that do not relocate to Thailand. In fact, one of my overwhelming experiences of Western men in Thailand was that they were much less confident.

Care to elaborate on your question?

edit: quote

I was speaking of my friends, not western men living in Thailand. I agree with you 100% - LOS attracts many men lacking confidence. I stated this on a few posts on different topics, the last few days.

I wasn't clear with my question of why LOS attracts a disproportionate number of men. Many women, families, and young adventure seekers travel to LOS. Also, there are those that visit LOS because of the availability of sex. The tourists of this ilk are predominately men. Hence the disproportionate number of men. No scientific data to back this up - just a personal observation.

Thanks so much for clarifying. I didn't want to misunderstand you, and I understand you a lot better now, and agree.

[Shah Jahan]

My wife, bless her, has decided sex is something done for procreation only... (I guess that is her thinking). "Her words were something like, I don't want to have sex with you, & I have absolutely no desire too."

wife not wanting to have sex is fine - you should love her no less- and for those recommending divorce and legal means, go back to new york

but however that means

you can demand a burmese maid and start shaggin her in the guest room - no loss of face and little income leak and you wife gets to control her

it just may save your marriage and will probably wake up your wives libido as well.

[Heng]

No, I don't find it hard to believe that you are a good husband or person Heng. And yes, I think it does make a difference that you are an "environmentally conscious" consumer and tip and treat them decently. I think it is easy and in some ways preferable for infidelity to be worked out through commercial sex workers. But, I think on both a societal and individual level there are other problems and missed opportunities that arise from habitual use of sex workers as a social or sexual outlet. It misdirects that energy away from your wife, and never enables the person to push through the inability to completely commit.

But, that is just my 5 baht's worth.

Smart job of 'button probing.' That last sentence would be more of a concern to me than any human rights or breakdown of what makes an alpha male discussion. At the moment I think the energy misdirection is minimal, but yeah, I do agree that it's inevitable. I continually evaluate just about every aspect of my life on a day to day basis, and my habits aren't set in stone.

Edited April 14, 2008 by Heng