A Story Of Naivity In Thailand

[Boo]

Gisele, you are so strong, I know you probably don't feel it at times but you have managed to organise a place to go & to sort out the remians of your life in NST all the whilse still being hounded by this loser. it just goes to show what a powerful person you are.

I'd like to hope that by your actions, your husband may learn to be a better person & not to do this to another women in the future but I fear he is too much of selfish person to learn a thing

Good luck with the move & keep strong.

[eek]

I cant see in this thread if you mentioned if you have a support network in China. You said you were returning, does that mean you have friends and people who you know who can be around you?

Its great that you have a job to focus on, but a good network of friends (especially if old friends) would, im sure, be very good for you.

[kat]

I agree with eek and Boo, Gisele. You are very strong, and I admire your courage. You did what needed to be done, despite the huge leap into the unknown and standing alone. It is better to stand alone, then to nothing left to stand for. The tears are going to come, because you are a good person and you gave of yourself, and that is not going to be switched off over night. All of his actions have confirmed your decision. Things are hard now, but in due time, you are going to look back on this and be so glad and proud of yourself for doing the right thing.

Keep your chin up and look straight ahead.

[sbk]

I couldn't have said it any better kat. Glad to hear you are getting out of there, gisele, and that you are moving on and up. Its okay to mourn the loss of a relationship you thought was good, just don't let it affect your attitude towards life and become bitter. Its easy to do but certainly won't make you happy. Know that you can be happy some day, living well is the best revenge

[kat]

You too, SBK.

[donna]

gisele, you have done an amazing thing here. this man has, in the past few weeks, proven what he wanted from you. when you didnt give it to him, he found another source.

what was that old song again? 'some days are diamonds, some days are stones'?

i wish you many diamond days.

[gisele]

I'm spending a few days in Samui, staying at my friend's home. It feels good to be out of Nakhon for a bit.

The movers came Wednesday morning. One more thing done.

I lived in Beijing before so I don't know anyone in HK yet. I will meet people soon enough at my new job.

I am looking for an apartment on line right because I don't feel like putting myself through days of looking at places, any thing i cn do to avoid stress right now is good I think.

I am trying to find a place for my cat, I've had him for 4 years, I was hoping to take him to HK but he would have to be 4 months in quarantine, I just can't do that to him.

so I asked my husband if he can take care of my little Misha, he said sure,

but I should pay for his food in advance for the coming YEAR.

Apparently, my husband pawned his motorcycle to get the 10,000 baht he wanted so urgently. No more truck, no more motorcycle. He says I am not being responsible by not wanting to give him the "little" money he is asking for.

The ringer on my phone for messages is a recording of: "I will survive"

[donna]

and you WILL survive girl!

what a cheek to ask you to pay for the cat food for a year. as if the cat would see any of it! how silly does he think you are?

enjoy samui. and welcome to your new shiny life!

[kat]

The ringer on my phone for messages is a recording of: "I will survive"

I like it. No matter how miserable you feel, try to laugh every day. You will be feeling better in no time.

[desi]

He says I am not being responsible by not wanting to give him the "little" money he is asking for.

Until this point I wasn't sure if he even knew the meaning of 'not being responsible'. May it extract (from him) large chunks where it hurts the most.

(apologies, but I couldn't help myself)

The ringer on my phone for messages is a recording of: "I will survive"

And you will. Hugs.

[eek]

Oh, my ex did something similar (regarding the cat food thing). When we broke I went to stay with my brother to try sort out my head, stayed 3 months, then moved into my own apartment back in the UK until we sold our home. If i recall correct, when we got round to putting the apartment on the market, about 8 months had passed. Even though the inheritance from my Grandmother paid for the deposit of our home (which i wouldnt get back because we didnt state it in the paperwork, unless i went to court) and also paid for fixing up inside the apartment, he didnt want to split the profit 50/50. He said I owed half of the mortgage for those months (even though i wasnt living there and was paying double what he was for a studio room in London and even though he was keeping ALL of the furniture etc), that I owed some money for bills/maintenance, that I owed half cat food/vet bill money (as well as payment for the cats for the future, as it was agreed he would keep them). I just thought "BLoody hel_l!!!" We were together nearly eight years, and I thought i knew him well enough for him to be a reasonable person. Hah! (He didnt get those payments btw!)

Anyway, my point is (hmm do i have a point???), I guess its that I look back now and I am glad im out of it all. At first it was hard, but so many wonderful things have happened and I certainly would not be here living in Thailand. Good things are ahead for you! As always, keep being strong.

[sbk]

Wish I could take your kitty Gisele but my dogs have a nasty habit of hunting and killing (everything, lizards, snakes, and cats )

What about your friends in Samui? I'd hate to see your poor cat end up with this guy.

Glad to hear you are away and moving on. Please do remember to keep in touch with all of us

[Meg_2003]

so I asked my husband if he can take care of my little Misha, he said sure,

but I should pay for his food in advance for the coming YEAR.

Don't give him the money, but supply him with enough cat food to last a year

[seville]

Heart Breaking... Don't leave your cat with him. If you can't find someone to take him, your kitty would be better off four mos. in a cage where he will be feed and not neglected. He clearly isn't concerned about taking care of his children, he certainly isn't going to give a rats **** about your kitty.

[mickey001]

What ever you do don't leave the cat with him. He will not take care of it and he might even lose, hurt or kill him just to spite you.

[DirkGently]

Thanks for the pride to post your problems.

As as a male here in Thailand I think the easy ride (no pun inteneded) that western males have is not always because of money, but becuse of how most (not all) men treat women.

I would be ashamed to treat my wife in the way that seems normal here.

[sbk]

Actually, judging from the number of posts here on this forum dirk, it seems that farang men find themselves in just as much trouble or more than farang women.

I think one of the most difficult things to cope with here is the idea that this culture is so different from our own that we most often miss key clues that are obvious to Thais.

[girlx]

I think one of the most difficult things to cope with here is the idea that this culture is so different from our own that we most often miss key clues that are obvious to Thais.

Well said- Thais can easily blindside you...

[mssabai]

Actually, judging from the number of posts here on this forum dirk, it seems that farang men find themselves in just as much trouble or more than farang women.

I think one of the most difficult things to cope with here is the idea that this culture is so different from our own that we most often miss key clues that are obvious to Thais.

Hmm interesting, that was something I had never really thought about. Happens the other way around though too, my Thai friends sometimes miss vital things about farangs that I think are glaringly obvious.

[gisele]

only 12 days till I leave

I am in limbo.

I can't wait to leave. I don't want to leave. I have to leave.

My students come to my office to say their goodbyes, colleagues are taking me out for lunch.

Saying my adieux is hard.

so I choose to believe that I will be back someday, that it isn't goodbye but au revoir.

[donna]

spend as much time with your friends as you can gisele. take lots of photos. have lots of laughs. eat as much yummy thai food as you can. go to the beach.

farewells are never easy, but i do prefer to say seeyalater rather than goodbye.

[mekongmiss]

Hi Gisele

You are such a strong person and I second all the best wishes that have been sent your way. Hope you found a good home for Mischa. All the best in HK. Take good care of yourself over the months to come and let us know how it goes.

[Sheryl]

Good luck in HK, Gisele, I think you are doing the right thing and a new job will give you a real boost.

Please keep in touch here on the forum

If you don't find a home for your cat, please do take her with you - DON't give her to your Ex, for all the reasons that have already been mentioned plus he is just too selfish to be a good pet owner.

In some countries you can get around the quarantine period if you get a blood test to document antibodies to rabies. Don't know if this is the case in HK but worth looking into...

Take care!

[Sheryl]

Addendum --

From looking at the HF giov website it looks like no and also that the 4 month quarantine would be expensive and horrific.

If you cannot find a home for the cat then it looks like the best strategy would be to first send her back to farang-land and then "import" her from there as the whole problem stems from being imported from Thailand which is a "Group III" country in terns of rabies. Most Western countries fall into either group I or Group II and from there you can import a pet without quarantine as long as paperwork is in order.

Just a thought (from a cat lover!)...

[gisele]

Addendum --

From looking at the HF giov website it looks like no and also that the 4 month quarantine would be expensive and horrific.

If you cannot find a home for the cat then it looks like the best strategy would be to first send her back to farang-land and then "import" her from there as the whole problem stems from being imported from Thailand which is a "Group III" country in terns of rabies. Most Western countries fall into either group I or Group II and from there you can import a pet without quarantine as long as paperwork is in order.

Just a thought (from a cat lover!)...

I wish so much I could do that, I am just too broke to afford it.

as it is, from how much I got selling my furniture and help from friends, after paying for my flights, apartment deposit and fees, shipping my belongings, there isn't much left for living expenses until I actually get paid.

All my life I was so careful about spending money, never ever in debt, and now all my savings are gone and my credit cards maxed out. I learnt my lesson, an expensive lesson.

[gisele]

This is my last day at the university, it has been a week of goodbyes,

My colleagues taking me out for meals

my students throwing me a party, tearful, sobbing goodbyes from the students and me.

Some of the girls consider me their second mom and it was really hard to say goodbye to them.

I have said many goodbyes to students at many schools in my life, but leaving was never as tearful as it was here.

[MiG16]

Gisele

all the best with the new journey. I know how difficult it can be, and really hope that things work out smoothly in your new home. if you ever need a friendly ear (which is the most I can offer through this distance and technology), feel free to PM,(Ive kinda been through that myself recently, quit my job, left all my friends and family and moved to a new country with NOTHING except a suitcase and my laptop, no job waiting for me, no apartment lined up. my friends thought I was crazy...I still think I am )

and ofcourse there is the ladies forum with all the wonderful advise and support

take care and I look forward to hearing more from you once you have settled in

[G54]

how could you have been so gullible? You should have known better?

When truly in love women and men accept so much sh*t from their other halves. It takes time for the love to die down and to accept reality. As many have said, you are not gullible, sounds like you are (were) in love.

It seems as if you have invested a lot of time and effort into this relationship and I agree that you should go and stop his money. Let her have him. Though easier said than done.

Best of - with whatever you decide to do.

[gisele]

Last night I went to one local popular farang watering hole to say goodbye, it was nice to see these people one last time before I leave.

It's also when I just found out that my husband was known under many different names, depending on who he introduced himself too.

So it is possible that he went out with several of the ladies.

I always called him by his given name "Panuwat", his usual nickname is Boy, then there is "Thana", and apparently he also is known by the nickname "Jame". Tip of the iceberg.

I was in love with a man that was an illusion it seems, only real to me, others version was seen by others, like dubbed DVDs.

[hellohello]

Best of Luck in HK Hon..

Let us know how your doing, and when/if you come back to LOS please come by for visit again. HH