Will Family Settle For 10k A Month?

[inlove]

Boy fall for simple girl.

Family want 15k a month to help out family.

Mom and pop and 3 kids.

Im ok with 10k a month, am i being reasonable or not?

[mrt273nva]

ask them for a receipt. you should also check to see about their return policy. do they include a warranty so that she can be replaced if she breaks down?

The financing can be tricky. Is she a lease, or a rent-to-own type of deal?

[bachelor]

why support the family if your taking the daughter on ?

[MiG16]

yes, give what you can

dont feel obliged, you will only resent it later.

so always, do what you are comfortable with. if at any point you see them going through some hardship and WANT to help with additional one off amounts, then do so. or if there are exceptional circumstances then I would do it. but it all depends on what you can afford, what you are willing to give.

theres no set rules.

I would also speak to the wife so she is aware you are able to do it now, but it might not be something you can do in perpetuity (never know what the future entails, so best to prepare them with practical expectation)

congrats on the wedding

[mizzi39]

Boy fall for simple girl.

Family want 15k a month to help out family.

Mom and pop and 3 kids.

Im ok with 10k a month, am i being reasonable or not?

Oh boy! To give or not to give that is the question? You really need to evaluate your situation RIGHT NOW. If it were me, I would be telling the family that i will give what I deem appropriate and will do so WHEN and IF I can. Fortunately my in laws are self sufficient, so I have never had this problem nor would I set myself up for it! Good Luck!

[PoorSucker]

Where do they live?

Condo in BKK

[MiG16]

actually, the above comment Ive posted is something Id like all farang guys to consider. Ive seen so many threads on TV over the years...how much should I give, should I or should I not.

I think in every case the above sentiment applies. the amount of it will vary depending on how much you earn, how much you want to give

but the principle should be the same I think....

[ChangMaiSausage]

I believe you should only give only if you want too.

They have raised children and survived todate so what is going to change? did your wife/girlfriend send money home previously? if so how much? base your estimate if any on her response.

Remember you are marrying her not her family (ha heard this before)

Good luck

[LiveSteam]

I think that 15K is an outrageous amount, but if you can afford it for the rest of your life go ahead. Remember this doesn’t count for all their emergencies that will arise every few months. Did you pay the mother the down payment and gold yet? That should count for something. Did your future wife ask for it or did her parents? Did you explain that you might be getting a house or property and that it was going in your wife name? Does anyone else bring cash into the family? Why not buy 20 rai of rice land and make them work for it.

Anyway I think I know what you are going though and I know you will do just about anything to get her because you love her but remember it does ware off a bit after awhile.

Just a warning and a few thoughts, good luck I hope you both are happy.

LiveSteam

[teacup]

Your GF should have no trouble telling the parents of your wish and the willingness amount “of this free money” to pay from you. But if she does have a problem saying “NO” to her parents, this will always be a chronic problem in the future if you marry her, then they will want all your money too.

Personally I would stay away from a girl that has the combination of:

Just can’t say “NO” to her parents, combining with the parents is so aggressive in wanting your money.

Unless you can make them understand, otherwise it will be hopeless future with maaany troubles !!!

[saraburioz]

I think it is a silly amount to give, unless you are ugly and she beautiful or miss-matched in some other way, in which case it is a pure business transaction. Alternatively, you could be a mug, in which case wake up dude.

NO NO NO= problems galore!

[ShugNorris]

I paid Sin Son 300 000 Baht and they kept 100 000 and gave 200 000 to her. I'm not supporting them every month. They seem alright though, her family, and have a few rai of rubber trees which gets them by. BTW the 200 000 was effectively back to me because now she can pay the deposit on a car herself. I'll send her (the wife) some money every month to pay for land and house etc. I thought it worked out nicely.

If they asked me to send them 15 000 per month I wouldn't have been too chuffed, no chance. I'm marrying her, not her family and if she doesn't like it then divorce me, cut my losses and fly back to UK and get a new phone.

[mrt273nva]

and fly back to UK and get a new phone.

just get a new sim card. why go back to the UK?

Edited August 5, 2008 by mrt273nva

[PoorSucker]

I only send 5000 baht every six months.

Seems her family wants to stop work.

[mikethevigoman]

Smells like a troll but here goes,. why pay anything ?.. have you had her finish working and stop supporting her family ? ,. if so then you can give them something if you want, however unless she is disabled id say let her get a job and do what she wants with her wages,.did you support employed girlfriends in your country ?

[CCCP]

You sound as gullable as i once was. No offense intended.

[jayjayjayjay]

Boy fall for simple girl.

Family want 15k a month to help out family.

Mom and pop and 3 kids.

Im ok with 10k a month, am i being reasonable or not?

h3ll no, haven't you heard of inflation, me thinks 1.5 million a month would be much more in order. Just think about what they have done for you. Least of all they've turned you into a troll... Gas/Petrol/Rice and list goes on. There gunna need 100 times more than there asking for!

ShugNorris, you've been fleeced already by my standards! She'll likely divorce you within the year. Who's gonna pay for the monthly payments on the car, and BTW, who's name is the car in.............. hello............. wake up and smell the somtum!

Edited August 5, 2008 by jayjayjayjay

[Chaimai]

Boy fall for simple girl.

Family want 15k a month to help out family.

Mom and pop and 3 kids.

Im ok with 10k a month, am i being reasonable or not?

I know i will regret this, but I will bite.

The family have ASKED for 15k a month.

How much was their daughter providing before your arrival, will she be in a position to continue contributing now you are on the scene.

No doubt you will wish to buy your new teelak a phone, maybe some nice clothes and shoes, gold - that will figure somewhere and then move on to getting a 5m house put in her name.

So, you are significantly improving her lifestyle (I assume) from which the family will benefit and you will no doubt want to slip the parents a few bob now and again AND send $500 for Mothers Day. Fathers Day is 5th December so you may as well prepare for that as well. Oh and they will probably need a new house as well at some stage.

And you want to give 15k p.m. as well - you are either a complete MUPPETT or a TROLL.

Disappointing response from our new mod MiG16 - please pre-empt your new relationship advice with the standard government health warning:- Open your eyes and make an objective decision on whether you are being viewed as the eternal man in her life who will be respected by the family for taking care of their daughter or, just another MEAL TICKET !

[Pushit]

Dread to think how many guys are sending 15K a month to her "family" already. It's a very old scam and the "lady" does very well but involves a lot of visit scheduling.

[lannarebirth]

Let's say you're an American, though I don't think you said which country you're from. If you deposit about $171,500.00 in the bank at 3.5% interest I think you can draw out about 15k baht per month (actually when your CD matures).

"Up to you". as they say.

[HarryHacker]

yes, give what you can

dont feel obliged, you will only resent it later.

so always, do what you are comfortable with. if at any point you see them going through some hardship and WANT to help with additional one off amounts, then do so. or if there are exceptional circumstances then I would do it. but it all depends on what you can afford, what you are willing to give.

theres no set rules.

I would also speak to the wife so she is aware you are able to do it now, but it might not be something you can do in perpetuity (never know what the future entails, so best to prepare them with practical expectation)

congrats on the wedding

Its not you who he is going out with is it?

[binnsy]

Hey,I was in a bar along with 5 other Farang and we were talking about this and that and a newbie to the area stated that he gave his outlaws 10k per month as soon as he mentioned it we all looked in amazement at the amount upon further discussion it seemed the most any of the other 5 were paying was 4k per month.This is in the Issan not BKK.

If you are in BKK then maybe 5k to 10k per month would be more than plenty

[ozzydom]

Boy fall for simple girl.

Family want 15k a month to help out family.

Mom and pop and 3 kids.

Im ok with 10k a month, am i being reasonable or not?

Are you bored CL.

[Sabum]

actually, the above comment Ive posted is something Id like all farang guys to consider. Ive seen so many threads on TV over the years...how much should I give, should I or should I not.

I think in every case the above sentiment applies. the amount of it will vary depending on how much you earn, how much you want to give

but the principle should be the same I think....

Right, ok, those of you with the same sentiment: NEVER forget you bought your wife. And as long as you keep making your payments on time her family would never let her leave you, after all you are a GOOD CUSTOMER.

[Pakeha]

actually, the above comment Ive posted is something Id like all farang guys to consider. Ive seen so many threads on TV over the years...how much should I give, should I or should I not.

I think in every case the above sentiment applies. the amount of it will vary depending on how much you earn, how much you want to give

but the principle should be the same I think....

Right, ok, those of you with the same sentiment: NEVER forget you bought your wife. And as long as you keep making your payments on time her family would never let her leave you, after all you are a GOOD CUSTOMER.

<deleted>. We send 5k per month usually. Thai GF and me both work so both contribute to our family income. Mother in law has no income, husband has died and 5k is nearly what I spend on ciggies a month so I don't think it's unreasonable for my MOTHER IN LAWS total monthly income. If you resent it it will never work though. My gf gets pissed off when mother in law plays the lotto.... I tell mother in law to enjoy herself - it's her money she can do what she wants with it!

Who knows - fingers crossed our kid will pay attention for when we're old.

By the way - I would never pay any sort of dowry.

[fred2007]

I think it is a silly amount to give, unless you are ugly and she beautiful or miss-matched in some other way, in which case it is a pure business transaction. Alternatively, you could be a mug, in which case wake up dude.

NO NO NO= problems galore!

[whatsoever]

So what would her family do if you decided not to marry? I have been married for many years and never contributed more than the occasional few thousand baht - out of good will.

Some Thai familys literaly destroy their daughters chances of a future by putting financial pressure on them. If they are a bunch of uneducated peasants from the sticks then 15k is a Doctors salary

[GuestHouse]

So erm... you get married and you pay the family Bht15K a month.

How exaclty are where they getting by in life before you came along?

And what if you say no?

Is the marriage dependent upon you coming up with this money? If so, then are you sure this is a marriage contract or some other kind of contract?

[a2396]

Boy fall for simple girl.

Family want 15k a month to help out family.

Mom and pop and 3 kids.

Im ok with 10k a month, am i being reasonable or not?

Are you intending to marry this woman or are you already married? Is this 15,000 an expected lifetime annuity or does it have an end date? Does either Mom or Pop have a job? Many, if not most of thes families, think lifetime support from a farang is their birthright, once their daughter has a realtionship with one.

[soic]

This is your chance to find out A LOT about your prospective wife. You will truly be able to see what she's marrying, you, or your wallet. My wife watches our money like a hawk. When we married, we (I) put a lot of money on the table and called it a dowry (200,000 baht). After the wedding, my wife gave her Mom 10,000 and the rest went back in the bank. Her family never asks me for money, they never ask my wife for money. They aren't rich either... they're just independant and not moochers. I am the one that is loose with money to the family. I don't give a lot, but when I go home, I pay my mother-in-law to babysit, take them all out to dinner, and often take them to the beach or a get away.

Your new wife can go a long way in getting that money requirement either erased or greatly reduced. She should be as angry as you are if her parents are trying to fleece you. You should also know about their living conditions on your own. If they are destitute and your new wife was a working girl, or at least worked to support the family, they very well may have been depending on her for support. Your marrying her would then be ending the support that she provided for them, in which case, you should be obliged to replace, at least for a time; until they could replace that income on their own. In Thai society, they youth support the old and the family. They are not like our western society where we pack the parents and/or grandparents off to the old folks home, start selling off the estates and begin the perpetual party. Do some investigation on your own... have a heart to heart with your wife, go meet the parents... and do what you're led, and what you can afford to do. There's more to the money that just the amount or what you call the payment.

Don't base your decision on what advice you get from one or more of the people here. For the most part, all mean well... the problem is, many have been fleeced, many are frugal, many are gullible and many have been too generous. Your situation is "your situation", it's unique to your relationship, there is no one size fits all answer. Take the time to go out and find out what the answer is to your delimma, it's not going to be found here. There's certainly some terrific advice to be gleaned, but it is after all only advice. "Advice is simply nostalgia; it's a way of taking out the past, wiping off the dust and recycling it for more than it's worth" Baz Lurhman. Everyone learns from their own mistakes... you will have to learn from yours.