Europeans Flocking To Isaan In Search For Wives

[kat]

Sabaijai:

But one can also say that in the case of Issan it is just a matter of prolonged exposure and opportunity: there was an American military base in Issan during the wars, which also jumpstarted the rest and relaxation business.

This has led to a certain, um, agglomeration of Issan mixed-marriages that has forged a wider network enabling more Issan women to find foreign husbands through introductions, contacts, etc. than in the North.

[Heng]

While is not too hard to find a woman to wait on you hand and foot, which is what I gather some of these guys in the article are looking for, I've found that the women from Isaan (my wife of 5 years and best friend of 9 years included) just tend to be more practical and reasonable in daily life.

Given that the Issan that come to me for funding are probably the less responsible of the bunch, I've found that in general they are the most impractical and unreasonable group of Thais there are. Rarely (and I mean as in maybe only 2-3 cases ever) do they want funds (at X% interest per month) to do anything that will produce an income stream (as in invest in a business of some sort). It is almost invariably that they want to buy something or need to throw a party or pay for a wedding (weddings are typically okay as the funds usually come back quickly, but it's still hardly a "practical/reasonable" use of borrowed funds) or something. I'd wager that poor man's finance firms such as Easy Buy, Aeon, Quick Cash, and what not have the Issan as their primary customer base.

But yeah, on the positive side they are quite laid back and do know how to have a good time (even when under massive debt that is accrueing interest with every glass of whisky they drink).

[amarka]

I give my Isaan girl a reasonable monthly allowance... more than enough for her and her 2 kids. She recently told me about her Brother getting his girlfriend up the duff, meaning they must marry urgently. Her Mother instructed her to ask me for 30,000 baht to help pay the dowry for him.

My response of 'F@cj 6ff xxx amndk w@@';;.,fsf-e' conveyed the fact that there was no way I was going to bail the stupid <deleted> for not wearing a condom and that it wasn't my problem.

Did I do the right thing?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

hi flummoxed...

if i were you i would give her the 30,000bht.. its hardly going to break the bank is it ?

never mind if they ask for more at a later date.... this is to be expected and will happen.... dont make her lose face with her family, you will pay for that.

if you dont love her enough to support her when she or her family have problems then maybe she's not right for you?

treat her right and forget all the tight *r*e doubters who post here who just want to use and abuse their little thai slaves ....

and dont even think about getting involved with the abortion....

she's your girl right ? think of the alternatives....

amarka

[sua yai]

Where do I start?

I was the first farang into a small village 30 km from the Cambodian border in Buriram province 9 yrs ago with my then g/f.

Everyone dumbstruck etc. Over the years and frequent visits lasting 2 weeks or more, I was less of the "tourist attraction".

The only thing that really got to me were the toothless wonders - nothing to do with the family - who thought I was manna from heaven. Ie, any cigarettes or booze on the table outside was fair game. I took this behaviour for a number of years and then on a really hot day told the two worst culprits to go forth and multiply. The family applauded me.

I had great times up there. The family shared what little they had with me etc.

Went back for the last time 18 mths ago. Farangs driving around in four wheel drive vehicles down the dusty lanes. Construction of houses going up etc.

AND, to think that my ex and I introduced girls from the village to work in our bar. Guess where most of these girls met their pay check? Good luck to all of them. The village will never be the same again.

[Zoltan]

Great subject i enjoyed reading everyones response.... carry on guys and gals good stuff.

[LaoPo]

If the Europeans are going to Issan for wives, where do  Americans go for theirs? 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Colombia!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Agencies from the US take airplanes full of them to Colombia

[bdmike]

O.K. , To all you experienced Issan girl lovers...How about some tips and ideas on how to tell early on in a relationship if the girl is only about the money, or if there is truely an emotional attachment. After reading so much that it's about ... the money, the money, the money, .... You've all got me paranoid. Let's hear some concrete information, based on experience, of how to avoid the ladies that are only in it for the money!!! Thanks!

[acesalan]

yo fellow foreign sai-mee from all parts of the globe, I agree with some of your observations about Issan women marrying Westerners. But a word of caution though. Avoid the generalisation that Issan women jump upon every opportunity to start a relationship with someone from abroad. There has to be a pair to tango.

I'd like to share mine. I'm married to my Issan wife and we have one boy (see avartar). While I understand that some Issan women become totally dependent on their foreign husbands after marriage, mine is the opposite. She insists on going back to work so that she can be financially independent. I rejected her plea because junior is too young- only 2 months old- and for her to work during the day, she will need a baby minder. So, this topic is temporarily shelved. But I think it will surface again because she's the independent sort.

Do you guys face this same situation?

She lives with me in Singapore. I'm thinking of opening a personal bank account for her and give her a monthly allowance so that she can save, and hopefully it will give her a sense of financial freedom. Right now, we share an account. And to keep her mentally engaged, we intend to pick up a new hobby together and she will be the main driver while I'm the 'parasite' of sort. She hasn't been working for about 10 months now and she's getting bore being a homemaker all day.

What do you guys think I should do? Let junior and her return to Thailand for a few years, which means I have to visit them every month. Working in Singapore is ruled out as she doesn't speak any language other than Thai, and Issan dialect. Junior will start school in five years time in Singapore, which means she will have to return to see to junior's education needs while I continue to work.

Any advice? Thanks in advance.

[Sassie]

right forum or farang girls? now married to my isaan husband for a month after a year, and well, he is wonderful (no butterfly from flower to flower). love small town life. peaceful.

sassie

[Sassie]

sorry to have interupted, but are you able to go back to isaan with your wife and child?

sass

[RDN]

The foreigners flocking to Isaan to find Thai brides are too late. I got the best one 33 years ago......

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

:D Good man! But I think there are still lots left

[meemiathai]

The foreigners flocking to Isaan to find Thai brides are too late. I got the best one 33 years ago......

:D Good man! But I think there are still lots left

Shuuuuuuuuuuuu! Can you just not say anything?

[meemiathai]

Don't come!

All thai girls are dishonest and ugly!

[Khun Larry]

I give my Isaan girl a reasonable monthly allowance... more than enough for her and her 2 kids. She recently told me about her Brother getting his girlfriend up the duff, meaning they must marry urgently. Her Mother instructed her to ask me for 30,000 baht to help pay the dowry for him.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Why is that sleazy request not considered insulting and complete disrespect for "your face". In furure i will handle these request with a smile and silence... Thai style .. but no money.

[MichaelH]

Did I do the right thing?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Hi Flummoxed. Sorry, I have a contrary opinion to most of the other posts here. I agree with Amarka (who's said it much shorter than me!).

We Westerners come to Thailand and marry Thais because we choose to (most of us do fall genuinely in love with the caring and nurturing attitude of the Thai ladies we have the good fortune to get to know). We believe there are advantages in doing so over the alternatives open to us. We make a conscious and positive choice to buy into these advantages, which are part and parcel of the Thai lifestyle and culture. It's part of what makes this culture unique and different from ours. And we love it, because it suits us and flatters our male egos!

However, we should also take note of other deeply ingrained traditions in Thai culture as well, which again are different from ours and, because they may hit our pocket book, we're not so prepared to accept them!

I mean that in Thailand, family members are expected to help each other (they can't run off and get loans and overdrafts from the bank, unlike in our society!). This means helping the family when they need it, be it time, moral support or, as in this case, money. Unless you've married into a family of total spongers, the request to you for help was a genuine one and your refusal will not be easily understood or accepted. In fact your refusal will leave them all bewildered, if you have the resources to pay. Don't talk about "not marrying the family". You did so when you married a Thai, and you should recognise this less palatable part of the bargain. Unfortunately, we 'farangs' tend to cherrypick the parts of the culture that suit us and reject the bits that we dont like!

I've been in the same situation as you and I was glad to pay up. The family has never taken advantage of me subsequently and they still remember my support! The family member in question has actually paid my wife back some of the money I gave. More importantly, I have been completely accepted into the family and her brother (and her grateful parents) will do anything for us now and in the future. A favour like this will always be repaid, maybe not in money, but in a way that can be a lot more valuable

If you don't help, you will make your wife lose face, disappoint and bewilder her (as she really won't be able to understand why you refuse), lose the friendship of her brother (and probably her mother and father too). You're lucky that the brother actually wants to marry the girl, many Thai guys just walk away! Suggests that he's responsible and probably loves her.

I'm amazed at the irresponsibility and lack of moral fibre in the advice you're getting from most of the posts. Follow your own good judgement and do what you should in terms of fairness! US$750 really is a small sum from a Western perspective for what you will receive in return, I assure you. Ignore any ridicule you get from 'farang' friends about going 'soft'. Just do the right thing. You wn't regret it.

[kogrutter]

I give my Isaan girl a reasonable monthly allowance... more than enough for her and her 2 kids. She recently told me about her Brother getting his girlfriend up the duff, meaning they must marry urgently. Her Mother instructed her to ask me for 30,000 baht to help pay the dowry for him.

My response of 'F@cj 6ff xxx amndk w@@';;.,fsf-e' conveyed the fact that there was no way I was going to bail the stupid &lt;deleted&gt; for not wearing a condom and that it wasn't my problem.

Did I do the right thing?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Some variables not discussed. What do you consider reasonable? Can you afford to give away $750USD? What's your relationship with your "girl's" family? Perhaps the side benefits from the "bailing out" of your "girl's" brother might outweigh the sting of the money. If you are in a "touch and go" with the "girl" forget the Brother. If you are in a "hard stick" landing, you might think this over again. You might even want confirmation on whether she is pregnant or not. Women have been known to lie from time to time. Even Thai women.

[kogrutter]

Pff, like all Thai woman marry out of financial benefit...

Happy to say that is not the case with me,

and me and her are very happy!

(although not married yet)

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Hope you don't get dissapointed Duke. all GF including Thai eventually become wifes. Tends to change the playing field a bit, of course then like some of us we get children

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

New to this forum so I'll be brief. Variables not discussed: Can you afford to pay $750USD? Are you in a touch and go with your "girl" or a hard stick landing? If you plan on sticking around, you might want to think through your decision again. You would be well advised to check and see if the girlfriend is pregnant. Women have been known to lie about this factoid. Even Thail women.

[Nam Kao]

Guys think about this

Could you ever go back to a lady Falang?

Not me, NEVER

[kogrutter]

Not enough information given to make a response that's fair. Are you in a position to fork over $750USD? Do you plan on sticking around or are you on a "touch and go" training mission? What's your relationship with your "girls" family? Is the girlfriend of the brother really pregnant? If you decide to fund his curtsy payment to the family of the girlfriend you would be well advised to get confirmation. DON'T become involved in any abortion planning. Not your business and could be legal problem for you if you get involved.

[Nam Kao]

Dont give their families a dime. I never did besides helping her mother and

my wife didnt lose face etc.

Some of the brothers and sisters tried to pry some $$ out of me but I just

cried poor-mouth and now they wouldnt even think of asking.

Once you crack open the wallet for 1 - the rest will come running like

blood sucking leeches.

[amarka]

Guys think about this

Could you ever go back to a lady Falang?

  Not me, NEVER

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

hi...

a western falang girl ...no....never!

there are however some others......

but yes I agree thai girls beat the ( western ) falang girls hands down....

that was part of my argument really...

amarka

[amarka]

Dont give their families a dime.  I never did besides helping her mother and

my wife didnt lose face etc.

  Some of the brothers and sisters tried to pry some $$ out of me but I just

cried poor-mouth and now they wouldnt even think of asking.

Once you crack open the wallet for 1 - the rest will come running like

blood sucking leeches. 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

hi...

i guess it depends on what sort of falang and husband you are .. or want to be?

a bit of money goes a long way in thailand and if the relatives have none and you have some.. then don't be greedy...

like i said before " if you can't help the family " then who are you going to help ?.....

all the talk is about LT ST and where can i save my $$$ just to blow it on another whore or beer...

hey i like a good time too, don't get me wrong... you wont loose out by being gererous!

beleive me....

amarka

[Flummoxed]

A favour like this will always be repaid, maybe not in money, but in a way that can be a lot more valuable

My friends and loved ones never have to pay for my favour, so why should I pay for theirs?

Some great arguments for either case in this thread but my opinion is still such... I will love and support my wife and her children but that's where I draw the line. Money or not, I will not be taken advantage of. I give my girl a much better life than she could have with most Thai men. Her family should be pleased for her and not hit me for cash all the time.

I did not mention that I have helped them previously, for things like water pumps, fertiliser for the rice harvest etc etc etc but the requests are becoming more frequent and for higher amounts. It really is the thin end of the wedge when you help the first time. Even if they are good people, they cannot help but ask again and again and for higher amounts.

I have now drawn the line and I will not budge. If they resent me for that, then I'll move on. They have no right to resent me for witholding my money in this matter.... and I beleive most Thais would agree with me.

[capt_canada42]

Isaan ladies are nice ladies I agree especialy my lady who I knew here in Phuket for over 25 years.

I must have slept with almost every lady in town at one time when I first came here. I slowed down after a while and got to know this one lady real well she seemed to care more than the others and would come over and help me with the house and things that required a little work.

Finally I asked here about 10 years ago if she would like to try living together for 3 months to see if it would work. I swear we must have fought most of the time for that 3 months as we were both used to living on our own. When the 3 months were up we stayed together.

Then funny I lost all my life's savings 5 years ago after we had been together for about 5 years.

She said to me, what was I going to do! I said I thought I might go home and look for work as I had no work permit here and no money to start a business and know one wanted me as I was to old.

She said to me don't go know one in the world loves you except me, stay and we will do it together.

We had the rent paid for one month, the telphone bill paid for one month and the UBC paid for one month.

That was 5 years ago and today we are one of the most successful Real Estate companies in Phuket.

I'm 62 years old and have been around and can honestly say I wouldn't trade my lady for all the tea in China.

[amarka]

A favour like this will always be repaid, maybe not in money, but in a way that can be a lot more valuable

My friends and loved ones never have to pay for my favour, so why should I pay for theirs?

Some great arguments for either case in this thread but my opinion is still such... I will love and support my wife and her children but that's where I draw the line. Money or not, I will not be taken advantage of. I give my girl a much better life than she could have with most Thai men. Her family should be pleased for her and not hit me for cash all the time.

I did not mention that I have helped them previously, for things like water pumps, fertiliser for the rice harvest etc etc etc but the requests are becoming more frequent and for higher amounts. It really is the thin end of the wedge when you help the first time. Even if they are good people, they cannot help but ask again and again and for higher amounts.

I have now drawn the line and I will not budge. If they resent me for that, then I'll move on. They have no right to resent me for witholding my money in this matter.... and I beleive most Thais would agree with me.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

hi flummoxed....

well ... your additional information sort of changes things a bit and i agree with you now ..... if you have already given and been generous, then you have to pace things a bit....

sounds like they are really pressing you... so i think instead of you being under pressure, its over to your gf to stick up for you and tell her family to pipe down a bit...

....and the same goes for her if she can't stand up for you then perhaps you are not right for her...

don't worry i have the same problems..... all the time.... its life......but then agin its better than a ( western ) falang girl any time...

amarka

[Darkling]

I give my Isaan girl a reasonable monthly allowance... more than enough for her and her 2 kids. She recently told me about her Brother getting his girlfriend up the duff, meaning they must marry urgently. Her Mother instructed her to ask me for 30,000 baht to help pay the dowry for him.

My response of 'F@cj 6ff xxx amndk w@@';;.,fsf-e' conveyed the fact that there was no way I was going to bail the stupid &lt;deleted&gt; for not wearing a condom and that it wasn't my problem.

Did I do the right thing?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

[Flummoxed]

Spit it out Darkling

[Darkling]

I give my Isaan girl a reasonable monthly allowance... more than enough for her and her 2 kids. She recently told me about her Brother getting his girlfriend up the duff, meaning they must marry urgently. Her Mother instructed her to ask me for 30,000 baht to help pay the dowry for him.

My response of 'F@cj 6ff xxx amndk w@@';;.,fsf-e' conveyed the fact that there was no way I was going to bail the stupid &lt;deleted&gt; for not wearing a condom and that it wasn't my problem.

Did I do the right thing?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Don`t worry too much the 30,000 bht will be extracted in other ways, check the roof and have a look around to make sure there are no pot holes for a buffalo to fall down.

[Flummoxed]

....

[Darkling]

Spit it out Darkling

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Listen i have paid so much out in the past i have only just managed to buy this computer i can`t afford the lessons yet