Promptness Is A Big 'mai Pen Rai' For Thais

[plachon]

The most classic experience of mine relating to this issues was some 10 years ago when I had a meeting arranged with a work colleague for 6pm on a Tuesday.

This meeting had been confirmed the Thursday of the previous week.

I had already arrived at the restaurant in Siam Square by 5.45 and was accustomed already to the 30-40 minute delay for Thai colleagues.

However, by 6.30 I did call him to establish how much longer he might be?

He told me that we was stuck in traffic on Sukhumvit and should be turning into Rama 4 soon (made sense as it was rush hour and the BTS was under construction at that time along Sukhumvit)

Another 30 minutes passed, I called him again. "nearly there but the traffic is bad!"

Then 7.30 I called again "still bad traffic, dont know why it's so bad on Rama 4 tonight?"

At 8.15 I called again...no answer!

8.30....no answer!

9pm...no answer!

I then was pretty fed up and went home at 9.30

The next day I went to this guys office to enquire what had happened as I was somewhat concerned that he did not answer his phone the previous evening.

I was informed by his assistant that the guy had left for Chiang Mai Monday afternoon for an unexpected meeting and would not be back before Friday!

Therefore this business about traffic on Sukhumvit and Rama 4 on the Tuesday night was being relayed to me by the guy who was somewhere in Chiang Mai at that moment!....you figure the logic behind that?

He just didn't have the heart to tell you he wasn't going to make it, so rather than let you down and tell you straight, he made up the story of being stuck in traffic and hoped you'd hook up with someone else in the meantime. Really he was just trying to grengjai you in that sweet ol' Thai way of evading hard facts. See..........there's always method in the madness.

[Smithson]

I'd agree Thais generally aren't that punctually, but I'm not perfect either.

For all those saying it's terrible and is a trait across Asia. Have you ever been to Korea? They are always punctual, but they don't have the easy going carefree nature of the Thais. Korea rates very low in surveys on expat happiness.

[Pierrot]

I'd agree Thais generally aren't that punctually, but I'm not perfect either.

For all those saying it's terrible and is a trait across Asia. Have you ever been to Korea? They are always punctual, but they don't have the easy going carefree nature of the Thais. Korea rates very low in surveys on expat happiness.

I work in South China, people are rude but very efficient, or very efficient but rude, depends of the mood of the day. Every time I do business with Thais, it drives me crazy. But I love living here.

[barky]

So somebody runs a bit late......slow down guys get a life.....it is inconvenient.....not the end of the world.......

Oh and if you require respect.......I doubt you'll get it continually critisising the people YOU chose to live among....

possibly aimed at me, but do yourself a favour and actually read my post, at no point do i mention any particular race, nationality or group of people, it annoys me wherever i am in the world, i am very respectful when dealing with people, unless they choose to be late. my attitude mirrors the person i am dealing with, however nothing annoys me more than holier than thou attitudes and 'oh look at me, i have adjusted to everything' attitudes of some posters on here.

i dont think i have read a thread on here yet without someone constantly feeling the need to defend thais and berate people who have the nerve to give an opinion.

the biggest <deleted> on here is when people try and compare Thailand to somewhere else to try and justify thailand, i don't know if you noticed this is a thai forum where we discuss thailand, so what if the problems are the same as elsewhere, i couldnt give a shiny <deleted> if people drive bad in south america, i dont live there.

lets just accept that everything is not rosy here and accept its a thai forum where people can discuss issues relating to them or thailand.

The fact is, however many people on here want to counter it that more often than not a thai will be late, whether its a contractor or a friend, i even had the majority of thais coming for an interview late.

ok rant over

Well done werbs. I tend to agree with almost every point you put forward. Cheers.

[Pakboong]

Several years back, I played in a weekly poker game with several Thai women. The games were in the US and started every Friday evening at 7:00 pm. These women were from all walks of Thai society and education levels. I had known several of them for years and had never known any one of them to be on time for anything. Except, for the poker game. I used to make jokes about it and ask how they could never make it to social happenings on time but could always make to the poker game on time. Several chiime in with "the poker game is important."

My then Thai wife was late for work 17 days in a row and her explanation, which she sincerely believed to be accurate, was that the traffic was bad. go figure.

[Ijustwannateach]

I've cleaned up this thread a bit, and personal attacks and blatantly racist remarks have been removed (and the offenders punished). I would like to request the remaining parties to show restraint in characterising each others' opinions; there has been an over-use of accusations of 'bigotry' in this thread for what is more likely to be lack of experience or ignorance. Seeking to educate through details and examples is more appropriate here than namecalling.

"S"

[Lucifer]

I've cleaned up this thread a bit, and personal attacks and blatantly racist remarks have been removed (and the offenders punished). I would like to request the remaining parties to show restraint in characterising each others' opinions; there has been an over-use of accusations of 'bigotry' in this thread for what is more likely to be lack of experience or ignorance. Seeking to educate through details and examples is more appropriate here than namecalling.

"S"

Why is it that I never get to read these comments before they get deleted? Perhaps I'm always late.

How about moving these ''comments'' to another section, where curious people like me can read them?

[yabaaaa]

Westerners. (myself included)

We drive fast. We play hard and work harder. we are efficient. We are easily insulted. We get ulcers. We get angry and complain about our frustrations on forums. We die of cancer after a life of hard work.

Speak for yourself. I gave up being insulted and getting angry many years ago. Never had an ulcer, and don't intend to. Perhaps that is why I like the laid-back lifestyle of the Thais ....

I don't have ulcers or cancer either. I was trying to be metaphoric. Of course I was overgeneralizing, but it was to make a point.

I am trying to convey that we need to question why it is that we are so "time orientated"

I myself have begun to adjust to the Thai way of life and I find that in some ways I am better off.

When people are late I look at it as an opportunity to read or just enjoy some rare alone time.

When strangers want to befriend me I don't rush hurriedly on, I stop and make some new friends.

I may accomplish less daily goals, but I find I am much happier. This is part of my love for this place.

I think there are many people here who come to appreciate the differences.

I feel sorry for the guy who is so unable to adjust to the Thai Way that he angrily walks past the man he has an appointment with. It would probably be better for him to leave since he cannot adjust to this culture and can't imagine that it even is a cultural issue. Most of the posters here have somewhat adjusted but it isn't until you truly realize that you can't change their value system here that you can truly fit in. Ironically, it is after that point that you may actually be able to therefore change their value system.

Tell you what you can discuss this with my Thai wife she'll meet you sometine in 2009 outside a shop somewhere she'll be wearing something, she'll look for a man spending his time reading or something. Please don't be late she absolutley hates Thai time keeping, bad service and rudeness. She asked can she make that a definite maybe?

Edited October 29, 2008 by yabaaaa

[yabaaaa]

Of course I was overgeneralizing, but it was to make a point.

Nice to know as I almost replied to your original post. You painted a one sided picture. Thais do not brush off our anger. They'll even respond with anger of their own...

I am trying to convey that we need to question why it is that we are so "time orientated"

I myself have begun to adjust to the Thai way of life and I find that in some ways I am better off.

When people are late I look at it as an opportunity to read or just enjoy some rare alone time.

When strangers want to befriend me I don't rush hurriedly on, I stop and make some new friends.

I may accomplish less daily goals, but I find I am much happier. This is part of my love for this place.

I think there are many people here who come to appreciate the differences.

I feel sorry for the guy who is so unable to adjust to the Thai Way that he angrily walks past the man he has an appointment with. It would probably be better for him to leave since he cannot adjust to this culture and can't imagine that it even is a cultural issue. Most of the posters here have somewhat adjusted but it isn't until you truly realize that you can't change their value system here that you can truly fit in. Ironically, it is after that point that you may actually be able to therefore change their value system.

Although I've come to mostly shake my head instead of blowing up, it's taken since '94 in SE Asia. Previously, I was hot tempered. Now, I'm much more relaxed (but not quite there).

Someone doesn't show up for a promised Sunday outing out... ok... no problem. No harm done. I have other things I can do. And I'll keep a watch on the next arranged meeting so if missed, there won't be a third. Problem solved.

(Thais do not have a monopoly on being late and missing meetings. I've known people in the west who were habitually late or used lateness as a control factor (or that's what I've told myself it is). For one, her friends would tell her a meeting was at 4 if they expected her to show up at 8. For the other, well, he didn't have many friends...)

But when a BKK contractor doesn't show up for months after stringing me along by multitude of promises and out right untruths, then I do lose my temper out of frustration. They've lost my respect, my business, and any business that might have come their way so we both lose.

(note: this was the contractor who did the renovation on my condo, not one out of the phone book, so we did have what I thought was a decent working relationship. And aren't contractors known for this the world over?)

I realise that I have a long way to go before I understand the Thai way of doing business and conducting personal relationships. And I do try in my day to day relationships to mai bpen rai wherever I can. It's when frustrations build that I get into difficulties. It's when a feeling of a loss of respect comes into play.

A loss of respect... Just a thought... I learned a new Thai word recently, เกรงใจ (greng jai). It's no great secret that westerners are notorious for keeping to timely meetings (just reading through this post at the emotions, it's apparent that those dealing with westerners have been on the receiving end more than once). I believe there's even a Thai saying about farangs and rushing around so there's no real excuse for not being aware out of BKK. So, shouldn't Thais brought up with greng jai (who are aware), make a effort to respect this touchy subject?

I obviously know all about this being their country and all... I'm asking the question in the hopes that a Thai will respond.

Just return the favour to the Thai builder when he wants his money, make excuses for 6 months and see what happens!!

[Thanh-BKK]

Hi

But it does also work the other way round.... like when i had my UBC installed.

The day before i made an appointment "5 PM tomorrow" because i was working.

Next day at 12:30 my phone rang: "We are standing in front of your door and nobody opens!" said the UBC guy. I replied "of course, as i am at my office and will be inside my room at 5 PM as our appointment says!"

At 4:20 the phone rang again: "There is still nobody at your place!". My reply: "Yeah, because i've told you it's 5 pm, 40 minutes from now!"

I was home at 4:50..... and the UBC guys showed up at almost 7 pm.

Apart from that, i have made many good experiences (people being on time or early, like myself - i am always early) but also many bad - people not showing up at all (and no call or other message, neither picking up THEIR phone) or, half an hour after the appointed time, receiving an SMS "Sorry can't make it". This i also see happening at my office almost daily - these SMS stating "i'll be late" or "i can't come today". Attempting to call them ALWAYS results in the call either being manually rejected or going to voice mail, and calling from a different number (which they don't know!) as soon as they hear your voice "sorry can't hear you" followed by a hang-up and the phone being turned off. This is with Thais and Farangs alike, by the way!

And the best of all is my boyfriend's sister... MINIMUM two hours late for EVERY appointment. This includes missing long-distance buses and even flights. Like the one time me and my BF were at the airport (Don Mueang) for him and his sister flying to Chiang Mai, half an hour before departure she hadn't even left her apartment. and when they started boarding the aircraft she had just gotten on a taxi for the 50 kilometer ride. Needless to say she ended up taking a bus as there were no available flights

Best regards.....

Thanh

[stickman]

I operate by the "15 minute rule". If a person is mroe than 15 minutes late then I am out of there. I'm sorry, but my time is precious and I always have things to do. I appreciate some people are willing to hang around but I am not. I do think the OP's checklist was very good however!

The only exception would be if they called me well before the appointed time to let me know that they had been unavoidably delayed. Funny thing is, that has never happened...

[thaihome]

... It blows your mind that a non-retarded person would value things differently than you do. This is a big world and you will find that people value many things that you do not. This does not mean that they are wrong and that you are right.

...

Great line, but sadly wasted I'm afraid, simply because of the truthfulness of the remark itself.

TH

[fr33space]

'Promptness' is just something at the very tip of a highly flawed 'iceberg' as seen in Thai society. Thailand's societal flaws are now back-firing in a not-so-surprising, violent way. The lack of 'introspection' by many Thais (although it's taught in Buddhism) acts as a hard shell preventing many from noticing the self-inflicted injuries they relentlessly inflict upon themselves.

While promptness can be a rather light, 'relative' trait - which a lack of can be experienced in the countryside of any nation anywhere in the world - there is a mixture of several flawed traits within Thai society, finally coming to a point, and it's up to Thais to navigate a way through their own mess.

Edited October 29, 2008 by fr33space

[bkkjames]

'Promptness' is just something at the very tip of a highly flawed 'iceberg' as seen in Thai society. Thailand's societal flaws are now back-firing in a not-so-surprising, violent way. The lack of 'introspection' by many Thais (although it's taught in Buddhism) acts as a hard shell preventing many from noticing the self-inflicted injuries they relentlessly inflict upon themselves.

While promptness can be a rather light, 'relative' trait - which can be experienced in the countryside of any nation anywhere in the world - there is a mixture of several flawed traits within Thai society, finally coming to a point, and it's up to Thais to navigate a way through their own mess.

Reading this nonsense makes it feel like I am one self-inflicting brain damage on myself.

[fr33space]

'Promptness' is just something at the very tip of a highly flawed 'iceberg' as seen in Thai society. Thailand's societal flaws are now back-firing in a not-so-surprising, violent way. The lack of 'introspection' by many Thais (although it's taught in Buddhism) acts as a hard shell preventing many from noticing the self-inflicted injuries they relentlessly inflict upon themselves.

While promptness can be a rather light, 'relative' trait - which can be experienced in the countryside of any nation anywhere in the world - there is a mixture of several flawed traits within Thai society, finally coming to a point, and it's up to Thais to navigate a way through their own mess.

Reading this nonsense makes it feel like I am one self-inflicting brain damage on myself.

"Ignorance is bliss". Mai pen rai mate

That's enough of me on this board ...

[bkkjames]

'Promptness' is just something at the very tip of a highly flawed 'iceberg' as seen in Thai society. Thailand's societal flaws are now back-firing in a not-so-surprising, violent way. The lack of 'introspection' by many Thais (although it's taught in Buddhism) acts as a hard shell preventing many from noticing the self-inflicted injuries they relentlessly inflict upon themselves.

While promptness can be a rather light, 'relative' trait - which can be experienced in the countryside of any nation anywhere in the world - there is a mixture of several flawed traits within Thai society, finally coming to a point, and it's up to Thais to navigate a way through their own mess.

Reading this nonsense makes it feel like I am one self-inflicting brain damage on myself.

"Ignorance is bliss". Mai pen rai mate

That's enough of me on this board ...

Don't give up after only 12 posts. I am sure your 13th will be much more satisfying.

[Wandering]

I know a lot of people on this forum claim to be agnostic but by many of these responses I think that there are many "closet Thiests." What I mean is this. If there is a "God" or "absolute power" in the universe then one could conclude that life is not random and that there is an absolute moral standard for humans to attain to. If there is no Creator then there is no standard (mai pen rai). (If you want to know more, there are thousands of philosophy books by brilliant scholars of whom over 90% (yes this is only a guestimate... it's probably higher) have agreed to this base stipulation/theorem.)

Thiests hold that there is an ultimate standard for humans to attain to (such as don't murder each other, or don't steal from others, or don't be late.)

If you therefore insist that there is a moral code that others around you should practice so that you are not inconvenienced then "deep down" you believe that there should be a "set of rules and guidelines" under which humans should act. Every time you cry out for Justice and common sense..... you are telling the world that you believe that such a thing exists. You are telling the world that you believe in a God.

So which is it. Do you believe in God? Or will the Atheists/Agnostics cut the Thai's some slack if they betray your standards of right and wrong.

On a personal note, I disagree. I think that "God" would have a different perception of time than any of the worlds cultures.

[bkkjames]

I know a lot of people on this forum claim to be agnostic but by many of these responses I think that there are many "closet Thiests." What I mean is this. If there is a "God" or "absolute power" in the universe then one could conclude that life is not random and that there is an absolute moral standard for humans to attain to. If there is no Creator then there is no standard (mai pen rai). (If you want to know more, there are thousands of philosophy books by brilliant scholars of whom over 90% (yes this is only a guestimate... it's probably higher) have agreed to this base stipulation/theorem.)

Thiests hold that there is an ultimate standard for humans to attain to (such as don't murder each other, or don't steal from others, or don't be late.)

If you therefore insist that there is a moral code that others around you should practice so that you are not inconvenienced then "deep down" you believe that there should be a "set of rules and guidelines" under which humans should act. Every time you cry out for Justice and common sense..... you are telling the world that you believe that such a thing exists. You are telling the world that you believe in a God.

So which is it. Do you believe in God? Or will the Atheists/Agnostics cut the Thai's some slack if they betray your standards of right and wrong.

On a personal note, I disagree. I think that "God" would have a different perception of time than any of the worlds cultures.

According to my wife and what I have seen around my office, Chula Time seems to be the dominent code practiced here.

[fr33space]

'Promptness' is just something at the very tip of a highly flawed 'iceberg' as seen in Thai society. Thailand's societal flaws are now back-firing in a not-so-surprising, violent way. The lack of 'introspection' by many Thais (although it's taught in Buddhism) acts as a hard shell preventing many from noticing the self-inflicted injuries they relentlessly inflict upon themselves.

While promptness can be a rather light, 'relative' trait - which can be experienced in the countryside of any nation anywhere in the world - there is a mixture of several flawed traits within Thai society, finally coming to a point, and it's up to Thais to navigate a way through their own mess.

Reading this nonsense makes it feel like I am one self-inflicting brain damage on myself.

"Ignorance is bliss". Mai pen rai mate

That's enough of me on this board ...

Don't give up after only 12 posts. I am sure your 13th will be much more satisfying.

Hah, you've drawn me back ... I can feel those 'addictive tendencies' setting right into place.

Cheers, wishing you all the best in the LOS ...

[bkkjames]

'Promptness' is just something at the very tip of a highly flawed 'iceberg' as seen in Thai society. Thailand's societal flaws are now back-firing in a not-so-surprising, violent way. The lack of 'introspection' by many Thais (although it's taught in Buddhism) acts as a hard shell preventing many from noticing the self-inflicted injuries they relentlessly inflict upon themselves.

While promptness can be a rather light, 'relative' trait - which can be experienced in the countryside of any nation anywhere in the world - there is a mixture of several flawed traits within Thai society, finally coming to a point, and it's up to Thais to navigate a way through their own mess.

Reading this nonsense makes it feel like I am one self-inflicting brain damage on myself.

"Ignorance is bliss". Mai pen rai mate

That's enough of me on this board ...

Don't give up after only 12 posts. I am sure your 13th will be much more satisfying.

Hah, you've drawn me back ... I can feel those 'addictive tendencies' setting right into place.

Cheers, wishing you all the best in the LOS ...

and who said number 13 wasn't lucky? I am setting my watch now (attempt to stay on topic, poor one i know, but i am trying) for your 14th.

[klikster]

Lessons to be learned if arranging to meeting a Thai person:

1 Don't be prompt unless you don't mind hanging by yourself for awhile - possibly over 40 minutes, if the other shows at all.

2 Set parameters for what you'll tolerate.

3 - Some things become evident when you hear "just 5 minutes":

a - The other person didn't plan well enough

b - they don't give much value to meeting you

My experiences are considerably different from yours, as are my attitudes

1 - How is that a solution or even reasonable business practice? What if the party you're meeting is on time?

2 - Yes, master! If someone was trying to set a meeting with me, and told me what he would tolerate, I would say, "Never mind."

3 - Very little is evident, more like an assumption.

a - Maybe they go an urgent business call. Should they ignore it?

b - you can't know that .. again, an assumption .. remember, you said "5 minutes"

In light of your comment in #1, who isn't respecting/valuing the time of whom?

[Payboy]

Promptness Is A Big 'mai Pen Rai' For Thais

thailand is amongst the top 15 markets for luxury swiss watches.... 2007 report of the federation of swiss watch industry....

[brahmburgers]

Lessons to be learned if arranging to meeting a Thai person:

1 Don't be prompt unless you don't mind hanging by yourself for awhile - possibly over 40 minutes, if the other shows at all.

2 Set parameters for what you'll tolerate.

3 - Some things become evident when you hear "just 5 minutes":

a - The other person didn't plan well enough

b - they don't give much value to meeting you

My experiences are considerably different from yours, as are my attitudes

1 - How is that a solution or even reasonable business practice? What if the party you're meeting is on time?

2 - Yes, master! If someone was trying to set a meeting with me, and told me what he would tolerate, I would say, "Never mind."

3 - Very little is evident, more like an assumption.

a - Maybe they go an urgent business call. Should they ignore it?

b - you can't know that .. again, an assumption .. remember, you said "5 minutes"

In light of your comment in #1, who isn't respecting/valuing the time of whom?

In truth, I don't adhere to my own advice. Even if I try to be late (knowing the other person will be late) I invariably get to a meeting at the agreed-upon time. Basically, when Thai people are late 20 out of 20 times, it's fair to assume they'll be late the subsequent time.

As for the 'just 5 minutes' thing, come on be real, when (in your experience) has 'just 5 minutes' spoken by a Thai - been 5 minutes?

Promptness Is A Big 'mai Pen Rai' For Thais

thailand is amongst the top 15 markets for luxury swiss watches.... 2007 report of the federation of swiss watch industry....

Some Thais also pay big prices for the sweaty jersies worn by famous soccer players - do such purchases make Thais better soccer players?

You and I know that if a Thai buys an overpriced time piece, the reason is not to get the correct time. For that, a person can buy a $5 Casio copy, or check their mobile phone. BTW, anyone remember, when Thaksin first became PM, how his young son 'Oak' decided to go in to business - selling gem studded mobile phones(?) At the time, government heavies were falling over themselves trying to gain favor with Thaksin, so when a debut (for the phones) was announced, all the yes-men were in attendance - and many forked over the very high prices for the phones. It would be interesting to find out how many are still using (or ever used) the phones which, despite costing near as much as a new car, are 8 years old now.

[klikster]

Lessons to be learned if arranging to meeting a Thai person:

1 Don't be prompt unless you don't mind hanging by yourself for awhile - possibly over 40 minutes, if the other shows at all.

2 Set parameters for what you'll tolerate.

3 - Some things become evident when you hear "just 5 minutes":

a - The other person didn't plan well enough

b - they don't give much value to meeting you

My experiences are considerably different from yours, as are my attitudes

1 - How is that a solution or even reasonable business practice? What if the party you're meeting is on time?

2 - Yes, master! If someone was trying to set a meeting with me, and told me what he would tolerate, I would say, "Never mind."

3 - Very little is evident, more like an assumption.

a - Maybe they go an urgent business call. Should they ignore it?

b - you can't know that .. again, an assumption .. remember, you said "5 minutes"

In light of your comment in #1, who isn't respecting/valuing the time of whom?

In truth, I don't adhere to my own advice. Even if I try to be late (knowing the other person will be late) I invariably get to a meeting at the agreed-upon time.

IMO, 2 pretty lame comments .. and evade my question regarding your attitude.

Basically, when Thai people are late 20 out of 20 times, it's fair to assume they'll be late the subsequent time.

You seem to be on a "lame comment" roll.

As for the 'just 5 minutes' thing, come on be real, when (in your experience) has 'just 5 minutes' spoken by a Thai - been 5 minutes?

It happens.

I wonder if the Thais pick up on what seems like an apparent attitude of superiority on your part and decide they don't want to do business with you.

My experience with Thai business people is that they seldom set exact meeting times. They understand things like traffic may delay them.

[klikster]

Some Thais also pay big prices for the sweaty jersies worn by famous soccer players - do such purchases make Thais better soccer players?

Does it make them worse soccer players?

I might decide to buy a pair of sweaty shorts worn by a 'Hooters' waitress .. but I doubt if it would make me a better cocktail waiter.

[tracer5050]

if you are here you might as well learn to live on Thai time.

[aaron76]

I just don't get it. It drives me crazy. It doesn't happen to me that often because I won't tolerate it, but my wife has told me many stories about friends and even family members standing her up or arriving horribly late with no apology or even a clue that they are out of line.

One episode in particular made me thank my lucky stars I wasn't there.

My wife's family own a resort in Nan. Her mother manages it and is usual staying up there. When she visits Bangkok, they usually meet up and spend time together. So, they all arranged to meet in Chinatown for dinner. As a previous post mentioned, a comfortable meeting place is a good idea. On the street in Chinatown is not.

My wife and her mother waited for HOURS for the other daughter to turn up. Yep, hours. When she arrived she acted like nothing had happened!

I think a problem here is the Thai way of avoiding confrontation. Like I said, I wasn't there personally, but I think I can assume that the girl wasn't given the bollocking she deserved in order to keep the peace.

Yes, she should know anyway, but people tend to do what you let them away with.

If I get a whiff of this unpleasant aspect of Thai "culture" from someone, I stay away. Far away.

[dave111223]

Just had a perfect example today:

Wife is in the process of trying to hire someone for a job. She went to the Department Of Employment and collected a list of names who people looking for a jobs who matched our requirements.

She contacted one woman yesterday and setup a interview today at 11am.

My wife then contacted the woman again at 10am (an hour before the interview) to confirm that she would be coming to the interview at 11am, to which the woman said yes she was.

Well 11am came and went; woman is a no show, and her phone is now turned off.... the worst part is that my wife wasn't surprised and said it was normal!

Why would someone continue to confirm that they were going to be somewhere, when they are well aware that they will not be going there?