Farang Vs Asian

[sego]

We have never talked how the Farang girls feel towards Asian women.

Do we hate them because they have more success than us?

I have been in Thailand for almost a year now and I have both Farang and Asian girlfriends.

I have never felt we were in competion on the men question.

Both of races have relationship problems with their men.

Both races are cheated on by their men.

My girlfriends and I, when we meet, instead of fighting because the Asian have more success than the others, we help each other to solve our men problems.

Why do we get along together so well instead of fighting for the men?

Are we more clever than the guys who want us (Farang girls) to think that we should hate you?

[britmaveric]

Sego- u are all women that alone is a common denominator. (asian/farang who cares) Why should you fight over men? I think if you are interesting, have personality the rest will happen in due time - there is someone out there for everyone.

[Dickie]

I have been in Thailand for almost a year now and I have both Farang and Asian girlfriends. 

I have never felt we were in competion on the men question. 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Well... let's face it... there is no competion.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

[elsie]

My girlfriends and I, when we meet, instead of fighting because the Asian have more success than the others, we help each other to solve our men problems.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

That's what friends are for, sweetie. Asian, European, it doesn't matter. Or maybe we are just nice people.

I won't fight with my girlfriends over a man. I've met enough bastards to last a lifetime anyway. The point is.. our friendship is much more important than some guy who might turn into a @!$% later on. And I am sure we all feel the same way.

[Jai Noi]

My girlfriends and I, when we meet, instead of fighting because the Asian have more success than the others, we help each other to solve our men problems.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

That's what friends are for, sweetie. Asian, European, it doesn't matter. Or maybe we are just nice people.

I won't fight with my girlfriends over a man. I've met enough bastards to last a lifetime anyway. The point is.. our friendship is much more important than some guy who might turn into a @!$% later on. And I am sure we all feel the same way.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Besides, anyone has different situation. Men are not worth to fight for???

[elsie]

Men are not worth to fight for???

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

No, they are not.

Well, most of them anyway.

(Gotta add the second line before I get flamed )

Edited December 5, 2004 by LovelyCutie

[Jai Noi]

Men are not worth to fight for???

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

No, they are not.

Well, most of them anyway.

(Gotta add the second line before I get flamed )

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Thanks for the answer, obviously.

[elsie]

You are really Jai Noi, aren't you?

C'mon. You know what I mean. There are million and million people out there. I can't see why one should fight with her/his friend over someone.

[donna]

Very true. I don't see why we should fight over a man.

I've got lots of Thai girlfriends here and we don't even have the same tastes.

Most of them are happier being single anyway as they have been burnt before and don't want to risk it again.

On the other hand, some of them are real players and play the men for all they are worth and then spit them out at the end.

A friend of mine at home had given up on meeting anyone at all. She had resigned to a life of singledom at 43. Then, she met an amazing guy, fell in love, and married him a few years down the track. They have the fairytale and are loving it.

But back to the question about being in competition with the Thai ladies? Hardly.

[sbk]

What competition? I am hardly interested in other men as I have one of my own. I find that the women I know are less competitive than the men I know, and besides, almost all of the Thai women I know are married so what's there to compete about?

As for friendships, I find it difficult because I live in a rural area where most of the women got married right away and had a baby and that was their main goal in life. Very few have much education or have travelled much. It's not that we aren't friendly, we are, but we just don't have much basis for a real friendship. Of the female Thai friends I have one is unmarried and one is a university graduate with a farang husband.

LC, I agree, when I was single my friends and I made it a point to never let a guy come between us. A girl who goes for her friend's man is no friend.

And boys, I am glad some of you made those oh so predictably idiotic remarks. Reaffirms my faith in you.

[elsie]

And boys, I am glad some of you made those oh so predictably idiotic remarks. Reaffirms my faith in you. 

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[snowleopard]

What competition? I am hardly interested in other men as I have one of my own. I find that the women I know are less competitive than the men I know, and besides, almost all of the Thai women I know are married so what's there to compete about?

Then... the beautiful "Mia Noi" enters the equation and...it's on!

Snowleopard.

[Jai Noi]

What competition? I am hardly interested in other men as I have one of my own. I find that the women I know are less competitive than the men I know, and besides, almost all of the Thai women I know are married so what's there to compete about?

Then... the beautiful "Mia Noi" enters the equation and...it's on!

Snowleopard.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

That man might be killed.

[honeyen]

Why we don't compete for men? NOT WORTH IT!

[kat]

I don't compete for men, because they are either interested, or they're not. And I don't go after other women's men. That is a process of civility that I learned in my late twenties. Secondly, if we are talking about Thailand, possibly even more than other parts of the world, there are plenty of Thai women that compete for each other's men without dragging foreign women into it.

And thirdly, the vast majority of the men in Asia are here because they are fixiated on Asian women. So there really is no competition because their attractions are completely racialized. Fourthly, in my experience so far, I'm not attracted to the vast majority of foreign expatriates. Hence, I'll second the other comments that there really isn't a competition, either here or in my own country, for the majority of these men.

[Boo]

Gotta agree with you Kat, if the guy aint interested then where the competition.

Women tend not to compete with each other as we realise that most men aren't worth it

[Boon Mee]

You are really Jai Noi, aren't you?

At least she's not Hua Lan Kee Jai Noi as so many puuchai can be!

[donna]

I don't compete for men, because they are either interested, or they're not.  And I don't go after other women's men.  That is a process of civility that I learned in my late twenties.  Secondly, if we are talking about Thailand, possibly even more than other parts of the world, there are plenty of Thai women that compete for each other's men without dragging foreign women into it.

And thirdly, the vast majority of the men in Asia are here because they are fixiated on Asian women.  So there really is no competition because their attractions are completely racialized.  Fourthly, in my experience so far, I'm not attracted to the vast majority of foreign expatriates.  Hence, I'll second the other comments that there really isn't a competition, either here or in my own country, for the majority of these men.

Couldn't agree more with all you have said. I think that women who chase after another womans man are dirty cows. Why not find one of their own? And if he wants her after she persues him, he can ###### well HAVE her.

So many Thai friends of mine say that Thai men are all playboys, but who are these Thai men fooling around with? Thai women in the majority of cases. And many of these women know that the man is already taken. I am not speaking from hearsay. I've had it done to me before in Thailand and it wasn't nice. But it hasn't put me off of Thai men. There has to be some good ones out there.

Now, I have many female and male friends who are Thai. Please don't think that I am saying that ALL Thai women are doing this because I know that they are not.

As for a mans attractions being completely racialized, I couldnt have said it any better.

Imagine if the men were in their own home countries and groups of particularly unattractive women were in town to specifically pick up men of a particular build, colour and level of attractiveness. Wouldn't be a pretty sight would it? But if these women were waving around lots and lots of lovely money, just how many of these men would jump at the chance? No matter how unattractive the woman offering was?

[sbk]

I am not particularly worried about a mia noi snowleopard. My husband isn't the type to cheat. His father has never cheated on his mother, and as he has gotten most of his values from his parents I feel confident that he is just as decent, honest and faithful as he has seemed these past 16 years. . Nice try tho.

As for other married women, well, at least where I live, times are changing and many of the younger women strenuously object to a mia noi. Like, with a frying pan.

There was one girl who made a play for my husband shortly after we got married. I guess the thinking was, "well, can't really be married to a farang can he? He's not poor so there is no need to marry her. Must just be a fling". A few well chosen evil glances and very cold shoulders quickly gave her the message. He thought she was being friendly! And, funnily enough, after all these years, she's still afraid of me

[snowleopard]

I am not particularly worried about a mia noi snowleopard. My husband isn't the type to cheat. His father has never cheated on his mother, and as he has gotten most of his values from his parents I feel confident that he is just as decent, honest and faithful as he has seemed these past 16 years.  . Nice try tho.

As for other married women, well, at least where I live, times are changing and many of the younger women strenuously object to a mia noi. Like, with a frying pan. 

There was one girl who made a play for my husband shortly after we got married. I guess the thinking was, "well, can't really be married to a farang can he? He's not poor so there is no need to marry her. Must just be a fling". A few well chosen evil glances and very cold shoulders quickly gave her the message. He thought she was being friendly! And, funnily enough, after all these years, she's still afraid of me

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

A very good answer SBK!

I wish you and your husband lots of happiness.

Cheers,

Snowleopard

[Dickie]

Imagine if the men were in their own home countries and groups of particularly unattractive women were in town to specifically pick up men of a particular build, colour and level of attractiveness.  Wouldn't be a pretty sight would it?  But if these women were waving around lots and lots of lovely money, just how many of these men would jump at the chance?  No matter how unattractive the woman offering was? 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

To be honest: very few. If they stuffed enough drink down our throats then we may give them some rod, but to actually start up anything with a fat, ugly, smelly slapper, just because she has lots of money? I don't think I'm far from the norm in this respect.

[Boon Mee]

Imagine if the men were in their own home countries and groups of particularly unattractive women were in town to specifically pick up men of a particular build, colour and level of attractiveness.  Wouldn't be a pretty sight would it?  But if these women were waving around lots and lots of lovely money, just how many of these men would jump at the chance?  No matter how unattractive the woman offering was?  

To be honest: very few. If they stuffed enough drink down our throats then we may give them some rod, but to actually start up anything with a fat, ugly, smelly slapper, just because she has lots of money? I don't think I'm far from the norm in this respect.

Second that sentiment...

[TRIPxCORE]

Men are not worth to fight for???

No, they are not.

Well, most of them anyway.

(Gotta add the second line before I get flamed )

Ahhhh....come on now sweetheart. Don't be so pessimistic. Your dragging my spirits down. Can't we all just love one another?????????

[padma]

As for my experience being a Farang with Asian looks.

I have found that Thai women are uneasy with me.

I have always had male friends and here in Thailand when I hang out with

any of my male friends their tgf seem to get a little uneasy.

Perhaps because I am able to relate to their bf on other levels, the ease of converstation etc.

And perhaps because I have asian looks I have had problems of men hitting on me that wouldn't normally do so back home. That said, I don't believe the attraction is purely based on Asian looks as there is a certain objectification of women here I don't like and based on that I wouldn't be interested in being seriously involved with any "farang" man with a tgf past.

I have dated "farang" men here in Bangkok and they are definately different from the guys back home on how they relate to and treat women.

I think that men here begin to lose the ability to treat and relate to women on a equal level. But also that said I've been dating men younger than I would normally date back home. (for obvious reasons)

Who knows! Life is definately different in Thailand.

Generally I have found everywhere.

Women usually don't complete for men unless you are the new girlfriend of an ex. Men usually will hit on you whether your their bestfriend's gf or they're married.

[kat]

Padma:

I totally agree 100% with almost all of your statements. I have had most of the same thoughts almost verbatim, except for the part about Asian fixations. Most (or the majority, but not all), have self-admitted Asian fixations. Their attractions are completely racialized, and that is an additional aspect of their objectification.

Couldn't agree with you more, by the way, about the level of ojectification. You are the only other person I've heard mention this in exactly those terms. In my experience, the level of obectification here is more extreme than anywhere else I've been.

In terms of men that hit on you that wouldn't do so back home, ditto. And in terms of TGFs becoming uneasy, ditto. On one occassion, the prospect of a jealous Thai wife affected the hiring decision of a job for which I applied.

In fact, just about everything you said rings true for me, which tells me that there are probably a lot of women who have similar experiences.

[britmaveric]

Well I can only speak from my experience, but my gf is very jealous. I could never have lady mates around when I'm out with her. (granted I am working on her- simply a matter of trust) As for asian fixation - well never occurred to me personally I just see a good woman not what race she happens to be.

As for the idea of a lad flirting more so in Thailand then in a Western country I don't really agree. Those that are uncapable of doing so in the west will still have a hard time in the East - shyness, insecurity, lack of confidence, and no communication skills doesn't simply evaporate on a trip to Thailand. If you are prone to chat up this will be the case no matter where you go,

[kat]

I appreciate your honesty Britmaveric. I am not talking about an increase in flirting, I am talking about men that would not normally flirt with me in a Western country so frequently; I am talking about men my grandfather's age. And the methods of flirtation are quite different at times. I have been followed down the street by Western men at least twice that I'm aware. But somehow, it doesn't feel flattering but downright creepy. Also, most of the dating encounters I've had with foreign men (not all farang) have had a controlling edge to them. Needless to say, these encounters did not last long.

Anyway, I made a point of saying that many, BUT NOT ALL, expats have a tendency toward extreme objectification, including Asian fixation.

[britmaveric]

Guess I'd do a runner if an old geezer followed me down the street too!!! However I understand your perspective- can be a bit daunting. However those that are controlling are bound to be a waste of time regardless of where they are..guess its sort of stereotypical view they might have wrongly gained that women in asia should be passive and servile in nature.

[Boon Mee]

including Asian fixation.

Asian Fixation is why the majority of us came here in the first place!

And, as Martha Stewart would say before she went to jail: "That's a Good Thing"!

[Boo]

Brit, Also got to say that a few men who wouldn't normally approach me in the west found no problem doing so (in a blunt manner) when I was in LOS & then were incredulous when I refused their advances stating that they normally wouldn't try with me in the west but thought they stood a better chance in LOS as there were so many women around they could pay for that they thought I would be flattered. AS IF. If I don't fancy someone then no amount of drinks, offers of dinner or crap chat up lines will make me like them more & so what if there are bars full of gorgeous thai women that they could go with, the fact of the matter is, I give mine for free & therefore can afford to give it to a guy I fancy. But these few had spent so long knocking around the bar scene in los that they couldn't comprehend a refusal & one turned nasty as it was obviously more than his ego could handle. Really, we western girls get some funny proposals here in the kingdom that we wouldn't at home that I have to wonder what some of these guys (Western & Thai) are drinking

That said, a lot of the approaches I have had from Thai men too have been laughable at best & downright insulting at worst that I think it must be a gender thing (joke)

Edited December 7, 2004 by Boo