Thai Girlfriends

[Ted]

Still being in my 20's (all be it nearer the 30 side rather than the 20 side), when I see farang / thai couples with vast age differences (20 years plus) 3 things usually go through my head and usually in this order

- I can always rely on Asia when I'm older if I don't fidnd 'the one'.

- Will that be me in 20 years time?!

(perhaps after splitting up with 'the one')

And finally,

- What happens when they take them home?

Now, when a family member of mine took his Thai wife (nunber 4), 30 years his junior, back to Blighty, there were some raised eyebrows in my family. But, he either didn't notice or just wasn't concerned. He'd lived in Asia for 20+ years and has no intention of coming back home. I think it would have been a little different had he been back for good.

For a start, surely your 20 something girlfriend must get a ###### of a lot of unwelcome attention? Does an element of paranoia set in? What about your colleagues at work? I mean you kind of get conditioned in Asia that this is normal. Not sure people see it the same way inthe West. Can you GF / Wife make friends with your older mates wives? I know that these relationships can work (seems like there is evidence to support this from members of the forum) but surely there has got to be a heck of a lot of teething problems at first.

Any stories, positive or negative, to bring to the forum?

[Jockstar]

You forgot number 4.

I wonder if shes a prostitute?

[Ted]

Good Call Jockstar!!!

Edited December 24, 2004 by Ted

[tuky]

Ted, it seems we are in the same age group...my wife is 4 years younger than me and we have a youg daughter. I have taken my wife "home" twice now, first time before we had our daughter, 2nd time just recently.

I have to say that my family really love my wife, my old nanna is a JW, and I remember years ago she told me races should not inter marry, my old nanna also does not like kids. Now my nanna is the biggest fan of my wife and my daughter. My wife takes great care of my baby and keeps her cleans etc, this meant the world to my nanna and she actually told me she thinks my daughter and my wife are great. I do not want to live in my mother country, but if I had to I know that my family would accept and love my wife, perhaps more so than a farang girl.

Mine is a positive experience.

[Ted]

I'm happy to hear that tukyleith. Your family has clearly accepted her into the family and thats great to see.

In keeping with the thread, had you been 20 or 30 years older do you think your family would have been so accepting?

[tuky]

to be honest Ted, I think that all that matters to my family is that I am happy.

I have dated catwalk models from Singapore, a Dr in korea but these girls did not make me happy like my Thai wife does, success is measured by happiness my family thinks and they see me as being very successful nowdays, even if my wife was a former working girl it would not matter as long as I am happy.

(she isn't a former working girl by the way, just for her feelings I clarify that).

whats your story mate?

[Ted]

Single and living in Singapore.

Now you don't happen to still have the numbers of any those Singaporean catwalk models do you?!

[OlRedEyes]

Still being in my 20's

As you get older you may find yourself being less concerned with other peoples' opinions of your life.

Chill, have a drink, live and let live.

[chingy_]

Still being in my 20's

aren't you suppose to be in school(college) and get some education. instead of worrying about girls.

[Spee]

And finally,

- What happens when they take them home?

Now, when a family member of mine took his Thai wife (nunber 4), 30 years his junior, back to Blighty, there were some raised eyebrows in my family. But, he either didn't notice or just wasn't concerned.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

After spending the last several months working in ol' Blighty (which I happen to generally like BTW) people tend to raise eyebrows at anything out of the ordinary. People in the UK, like people in the states, seem to like to to get into and stay in their "comfort zones" and anything outside of that zone tends to raise an eyebrow. But I think they would be surprised at the number of Brits married to Thai ladies and other Thai-related goings-on in the UK. Heck, I was stunned just the other day, when I noticed in the London metro yellow pages, there are something like 75-100 Thai restaurants in greater London.

When it comes to family, your family seems no different than mine. You know the old saying, you can pick your friends but you can't pick your family. Several people in my family just don't seem to be happy unless they are stirring up trouble in the family, or cracking wise about people behind their backs. If your family member is happy and his wife is happy, then what's the big deal? Live and let live! Life is too short!

Sorry if I'm rambling. I'm sitting in Heathrow waiting for a flight home and had some time to kill ...

Cheers and happy holidays !!

Edited December 24, 2004 by Spee

[logical]

I find comfort in the fact that even when I am old and grey I can still find a beautiful 'mail order bride' from any poor country.

&lt;deleted&gt; what other people think. I gaurantee they will be using up more synapses thinking about me, than I will them.

Jingle &lt;deleted&gt;...

[Harmonica]

Ted, do your parents know what you are doing? Merry Christmas!

[taxexile]

when i took my thai girlfriend as she was then back to blighty there were some raised eyebrows , folded arms and mutterings (whats he gone and done now ?, it'll all end in tears, mark my words,i say mark my words, yeah we all know why he's shacked up with her dont we ) , not because of age difference (its only 9 years) but because as a thai she was a completely unknown quantity, brought into a tight knit family , but she soon charmed them all and very quickly became the undoubted favourite family member, so much so that all the family constantly wonder why she married me when she could have done so much better for herself !!

as tukleith said if parents see their children happy then the reason for that happiness is always accepted whatever the background , and if they cant accept a foriegn partner in a good marriage then maybe its time to put some distance between you and the family.

as for friends well you will soon find out who your real friends are.

we have met lots of happy thai /falang couples in the uk with age differences of 20, 30 and in one case 40 years and although we have heard comments (out of earshot of the couples in question) , they have all been good natured jests , never heard anything malicious. its hard to be negative about couples who are obviously happy and well matched, whatever the age difference , and those who make negative judgements are probably leading unhappy lives themselves and in some way envious of the happiness of others.

best to ignore it. happiness is not easy to find , so when you find it its best to hang on to it and not be too concerned about what others may think.

[budsc]

How about young falang with older thai wife, my wife is 5 years older than me and we have been married since 1970 of course back then none of my family could afford to come to LOS, so only her family there.

Her sisters have taken me on as a brother and her brother is another story.

My father and mother fell in love with her within the first week we were back in the US. and this is from people that live in the deepest holler in Kentucky. Other relatives didnot really show any emotion, would have made no diff any who. My wife became their daughter and lived with them for 6 months while I was overseas arrange for her visa etc (she really learned to cook good ol country food at that time) It was my wife that was with my father when he passed at his request.

ok thats enough my two bits do what the H*** you want and live for the present

keep on fishin

bud and bung

[penelope]

Still being in my 20's

aren't you suppose to be in school(college) and get some education.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I have known countless people in my life that were well educated (masters), by their early 20's, well travelled and financially secure(cash, investments, home ownership) by their late twenties.

[Boon Mee]

to be honest Ted, I think that all that matters to my family is that I am happy.

I have dated catwalk models from Singapore, a Dr in korea but these girls did not make me happy like my Thai wife does, success is measured by happiness my family thinks and they see me as being very successful nowdays, even if my wife was a former working girl it would not matter as long as I am happy.

(she isn't a former working girl by the way, just for her feelings I clarify that).

whats your story mate?

When I was single and working/living in Singapore I too had some "stunner" girlfriends of the non-working girl variety. In the end, they all put me off with their incessant preoccupation of how many shares of Malaysian Rubber or some other stock I was supposed to have. Sorta reminded me of the west coast California Material girl who I definitely did not want to take home to Mom & Dad.

Been married to my Thai wife >24 years now & never hesitated to take her back "home" for a visit although some of those rednecks thought she was from Taiwan!

[mbkudu]

There are horror stories. One of the latest Stickman stories, 'Moving Onward' was hard to read. Pretty sad .

Edited December 27, 2004 by mbkudu

[Insight]

(whats he gone and done now ?, it'll all end in tears, mark my words,i say mark my words, yeah we all know why he's shacked up with her dont we )

They always know best

[toyicebear]

Hi everyone.....

well...one lets point to the facts of everyday living.....

On average every marriage consumed worldwide is finished within 2 years world wide!!!!!!

So thats a 50/50 chance...right.....

Well, use ur head and figure it out.......

Have Fun...

[sonthaya]

I have now been married to a Thai girl for 12 years, it's my 6th marrige and the longest lasting, and the best, age difference 10 years and no problems fro my family, including my two grown up children from a greek wife.

[ProfessorFart]

6th Marrige!! Not bad going Sonthaya!