Advice On Common Problem, Thai Farang Relationship

[bajaman]

Have a good laff because most likely other gullible lads ensnared in her web. I seriously doubt she is sticking to just one now - too much dosh to be had.

Well said Maveric , OP , take a good look in the mirror and repeat daily "Mirror mirror on the wall , who is the most stupid of them all , and why am I ? " . As long as you are a gullible nitwit , you will continue your trip into the meaow trap , admit defeat and move on .

Dumball, so far you have made a number of inane comments on this thread which are neither helpful nor accurate. If you read the original post you will see that I have admited defeat and moved on. Some emotion is involved in this given the timing. This thread is not about me, it is about helping the other guy and saving others from making the same mistakes.

If you have nothing sensible to add I suggest you find somewhere else to post your comments. **flame removed**

Edited January 25, 2009 by sbk
no flaming!

[Tyree D.]

Have a good laff because most likely other gullible lads ensnared in her web. I seriously doubt she is sticking to just one now - too much dosh to be had.

Well said Maveric , OP , take a good look in the mirror and repeat daily "Mirror mirror on the wall , who is the most stupid of them all , and why am I ? " . As long as you are a gullible nitwit , you will continue your trip into the meaow trap , admit defeat and move on .

Dumball, so far you have made a number of inane comments on this thread which are neither helpful nor accurate. If you read the original post you will see that I have admited defeat and moved on. Some emotion is involved in this given the timing. This thread is not about me, it is about helping the other guy and saving others from making the same mistakes.

If you have nothing sensible to add I suggest you find somewhere else to post your comments.

The response I was gonna give was already given (move on and worry about yourself) but you haven't.

When I was in Thailand I lived in several red light districts and I was the one writing e-mails and text messages for the bargirls writing the sob stories getting free food and drinks as a reward. I've also seen over 100 relationships and 30 marriages from start to finish. I knew women getting money from 4 guys at once. It's all a game and learn to play it. Move on to a better woman that has never worked in a bar. There is a Bangkok rule about not informing guys that they are being screwed over...maybe they like it.

Edited January 25, 2009 by sbk

[DMasut]

If you fish in a poisoned pond, the risk is great that you will get poisoned fish.

If you fish in a clean pond, there is still a chance of catching a poisoned fish... but the risk is minimal.

If she works bar, she lies for a living.... to EVERYBODY...EXCEPT YOU OF COURSE... BECAUSE YOU ARE DIFFERENT.... BTW... THAT'S A LIE!!!

Do you know why these girls do this? Because of men like you that make it possible... SO THEY CAN!!!

Sounds like you haven't heard the story of the Scorpion and the Frog?

In Thailand, the allure of pretty, innocent looking women who found themselves in the "UNFORTUNATE" situation of working bar is similar to that of a bee to honey.

I can say with loving kindness to all men who find them in similar situations.... "The cost of your education will be in direct proportion to how fast a learner you are."

Based on your post... NOT VERY FAST... but maybe it just means you are a slow starter out of the gate.

I have lived and worked as a Journalist, business owner and even spent time as a Buddhist monk. I have never met a farang man who had a successful relationship with a girl who worked bar... and rarely met a farang who met a girl outside of the bar with the exception of a few who learned enough about the language, culture and workings of Thailand to understand. The girls were from good families from outside of the major cities, were devout Buddhist or Muslims who put honesty before material possessions and loved their men enough to detach themselves from the 'peer pressure' of taking advantage of the farang from their family, friends and others.

Edited January 25, 2009 by DMasut

[bonobo]

Some men just never want to seem to hear the truth.

When I was first divorced and coming to Thailand for business, I met a doctor who had some very freewheeling and interesting ideas on sex. This suited my purposes at the time, and when we were together, it was pretty exciting, and she really liked to push the envelope. I did notice that she could not meet me all the time, claiming duty at the hospital, but since my ex was a doctor, this made sense to me.

After a few months, I received an e-mail from a guy in Switzerland telling me he was her fiance, and he got my e-amil address from her account (into which he had hacked.) It turns out that she was sleeping with many, many men, sometimes two or even three a day.  I told him that I would back out (I never had any emotional attachment to her), but he kept writing me and asking for advice. I did contact her to let ask her just what she felt, and she said she loved the guy, but she needed sex and lots of it. She wanted to marry him, but she also wanted a steady supply of willing partners.

The guy ended up writing me on-and-off for about a year, and he did marry the woman. I was honest in my evaluation that while I believed that she loved him, she was never going to be faithful. He kept asking me if I thought she could change. Even when I said no, he kept along that line of thought.  He just could not see the truth. To top it off, this guy was a psychiatrist. So if he could not see the truth, then I can understand where many other men can not as well.

I hold no animosity towards the woman. She never gave false pretenses (other than maybe why she could not meet on a certain night)  She promised nothing and gave a rather good time. But as she even admitted, she was never going to change this apsect of her personality.

[Chaimai]

Dumball, so far you have made a number of inane comments on this thread which are neither helpful nor accurate. If you read the original post you will see that I have admited defeat and moved on. Some emotion is involved in this given the timing. This thread is not about me, it is about helping the other guy and saving others from making the same mistakes.

If you have nothing sensible to add I suggest you find somewhere else to post your comments. **flame removed**

Post of the day. Applies to many, and "stop being a <deleted>" is not a flame in my opinion.

[bajaman]

Have a good laff because most likely other gullible lads ensnared in her web. I seriously doubt she is sticking to just one now - too much dosh to be had.

Well said Maveric , OP , take a good look in the mirror and repeat daily "Mirror mirror on the wall , who is the most stupid of them all , and why am I ? " . As long as you are a gullible nitwit , you will continue your trip into the meaow trap , admit defeat and move on .

Dumball, so far you have made a number of inane comments on this thread which are neither helpful nor accurate. If you read the original post you will see that I have admited defeat and moved on. Some emotion is involved in this given the timing. This thread is not about me, it is about helping the other guy and saving others from making the same mistakes.

If you have nothing sensible to add I suggest you find somewhere else to post your comments.

The response I was gonna give was already given (move on and worry about yourself) but you haven't.

When I was in Thailand I lived in several red light districts and I was the one writing e-mails and text messages for the bargirls writing the sob stories getting free food and drinks as a reward. I've also seen over 100 relationships and 30 marriages from start to finish. I knew women getting money from 4 guys at once. It's all a game and learn to play it. Move on to a better woman that has never worked in a bar. There is a Bangkok rule about not informing guys that they are being screwed over...maybe they like it.

Fair enough, when I said I had moved on I meant I had made my own decision to end the relationship and would not go back regardless of what happened in the future. I have learned my lesson.

The guy has contacted me for help and I want to do so. What he chooses is entirely up to him. I don't agree with the Bangkok rule so it isn't for me

thanks anyway

Edited January 25, 2009 by bajaman

[mrtoad]

She is having a lesiban affair behind his back.

Perhaps he's hoping for some action on that front and thats why he sticks around.

Two for the price of one, can't be bad.

[dumball]

Have a good laff because most likely other gullible lads ensnared in her web. I seriously doubt she is sticking to just one now - too much dosh to be had.

Well said Maveric , OP , take a good look in the mirror and repeat daily "Mirror mirror on the wall , who is the most stupid of them all , and why am I ? " . As long as you are a gullible nitwit , you will continue your trip into the meaow trap , admit defeat and move on .

Dumball, so far you have made a number of inane comments on this thread which are neither helpful nor accurate. If you read the original post you will see that I have admited defeat and moved on. Some emotion is involved in this given the timing. This thread is not about me, it is about helping the other guy and saving others from making the same mistakes.

If you have nothing sensible to add I suggest you find somewhere else to post your comments. Stop being a <deleted>

Excuse me !! What is a '<deleted>' , something you have lost and is now no longer obtainable to you . Inanity , what is that ? Basically a refusal to admit that which is as obvious as the nose on your face . Accuracy , how can one define that logically to one who has no percieved perception to particpate ? You have not admitted defeat , you have not moved on . you are in a state of animated suspension , you pass on YOUR frusrations as 'It is about the other guy ' , "and save others from making the same mistakes " Why would anybody take advise from some-one who never took advise offered by other caring people ? Also , you still have not nor will you show any intention of learning that which has been recounted a zillion times on this forum . Read on my disgruntled companion an TV , you have much to learn as i Learnt , because I was prepared to listen and evaluate the advise and scenarios presented here on Tv , you represent the 3 monkeys admirably , live your dream until you finaly wake up and realise that is all it is , flaming and derogetary comments will teach you at least one leson in a hurry .

[bajaman]

Why would anybody take advise from some-one who never took advise offered by other caring people ?

Which is clearly the reason I posted the original message, so that he would not have to take advise from me. He would maybe see advice from other caring and more experienced people such as your good self

Thanks again for you input, I would like to say it is appreciated.....

Edited January 25, 2009 by bajaman

[Tyree D.]

Have a good laff because most likely other gullible lads ensnared in her web. I seriously doubt she is sticking to just one now - too much dosh to be had.

Well said Maveric , OP , take a good look in the mirror and repeat daily "Mirror mirror on the wall , who is the most stupid of them all , and why am I ? " . As long as you are a gullible nitwit , you will continue your trip into the meaow trap , admit defeat and move on .

Dumball, so far you have made a number of inane comments on this thread which are neither helpful nor accurate. If you read the original post you will see that I have admited defeat and moved on. Some emotion is involved in this given the timing. This thread is not about me, it is about helping the other guy and saving others from making the same mistakes.

If you have nothing sensible to add I suggest you find somewhere else to post your comments.

The response I was gonna give was already given (move on and worry about yourself) but you haven't.

When I was in Thailand I lived in several red light districts and I was the one writing e-mails and text messages for the bargirls writing the sob stories getting free food and drinks as a reward. I've also seen over 100 relationships and 30 marriages from start to finish. I knew women getting money from 4 guys at once. It's all a game and learn to play it. Move on to a better woman that has never worked in a bar. There is a Bangkok rule about not informing guys that they are being screwed over...maybe they like it.

Fair enough, when I said I had moved on I meant I had made my own decision to end the relationship and would not go back regardless of what happened in the future. I have learned my lesson.

The guy has contacted me for help and I want to do so. What he chooses is entirely up to him. I don't agree with the Bangkok rule so it isn't for me

thanks anyway

Thanks for replying and changing your font so I could see it. The only advise is "Walk Out!". There are no contracts. I've met several guys like that. I lived in the district. Buy me a couple of beers and I will give you the girl's entire bio (and real age!) The majority of the guys still didn't back out. I did everything to warn them. One guy I know still got one woman pregnant twice and another one thought life wasn't worth living anymore. And this was after I already warned them about the specific woman they were with.

This other guy had already gotten your help and still won't back away. You've done your part. Now find a new TGF.

[bajaman]

Thanks for replying and changing your font so I could see it. The only advise is "Walk Out!". There are no contracts. I've met several guys like that. I lived in the district. Buy me a couple of beers and I will give you the girl's entire bio (and real age!) The majority of the guys still didn't back out. I did everything to warn them. One guy I know still got one woman pregnant twice and another one thought life wasn't worth living anymore. And this was after I already warned them about the specific woman they were with.

This other guy had already gotten your help and still won't back away. You've done your part. Now find a new TGF.

Yes, not too sure what happened with the font. I did the reply in 'word' then did a C and P so I stuffed up somewhere.

Comments are appreciated, all good advice

[dumball]

Thanks for replying and changing your font so I could see it. The only advise is "Walk Out!". There are no contracts. I've met several guys like that. I lived in the district. Buy me a couple of beers and I will give you the girl's entire bio (and real age!) The majority of the guys still didn't back out. I did everything to warn them. One guy I know still got one woman pregnant twice and another one thought life wasn't worth living anymore. And this was after I already warned them about the specific woman they were with.

This other guy had already gotten your help and still won't back away. You've done your part. Now find a new TGF.

Yes, not too sure what happened with the font. I did the reply in 'word' then did a C and P so I stuffed up somewhere.

Comments are appreciated, all good advice

Posters on this forum tend to appear a little harsh at times , or even descending , some of us even come across as inane , but can I express something , take the whole picture as a collage , there is a wide divergance of thoughts and opinions , somewhere in the midst of all this seeming confusion and contradictory dialogue(Diatribe) , there is some form of sense that fits a given situation , but if you read between the lines , most comments seem to converge on a common denominator , use this to your particular advantage .

[a2396]

There's at least 3 Thai ladies in our village running several Farangs at the same time, probably the same in every village in this green and pleasant land. It seems perfectly acceptable to this society and I think its actively encouraged and out in the open. The only person who doesn't know is the farang cash Cow. I put it down to sheer stupidity on the farangs side. These Guys are totally under control and certainly not allowed around to ours for a beer our two, lest the truth come out. What advice can we give you ? I'm sure were a total laughing stock.

I should add that its not all Farangs , some have two Japs, or two guys from singapore if it makes any difference. I can't keep up with who's with who.

Agreed. This is a common story here. If the guy doesn't live in LOS is is quite impossible to verify the truthfulness of these ladies activities. I have lived here for 4 years & still find it very dificult to determine the truth with many of them. They are such accomplished liars that even they fully believe the fabrications they tell at the time they are told.

[HumDiddy]

Have a good laff because most likely other gullible lads ensnared in her web. I seriously doubt she is sticking to just one now - too much dosh to be had.

Well said Maveric , OP , take a good look in the mirror and repeat daily "Mirror mirror on the wall , who is the most stupid of them all , and why am I ? " . As long as you are a gullible nitwit , you will continue your trip into the meaow trap , admit defeat and move on .

Dumball, so far you have made a number of inane comments on this thread which are neither helpful nor accurate. If you read the original post you will see that I have admited defeat and moved on. Some emotion is involved in this given the timing. This thread is not about me, it is about helping the other guy and saving others from making the same mistakes.

If you have nothing sensible to add I suggest you find somewhere else to post your comments. **flame removed**

Hi Mate

We have all made mistakes in Thailand know matter what every one saids on here. The thing is move on and keep going out there on the p**s and have a crack!!!!!!!!!!! Dont get emotionaly invovled but whwn it happens it happens!!!!!!!

The way you dealt with it was sound goog luck mate!!!! I cant wait to get back to Pattaya but I have to take Thai wife NOT THE SAME!!!!

[a2396]

I am asking for some reasonable comments for a situation which happens time and time again and one I have myself, fallen into. As you will see however, the advice is not for myself.

Background - In early 2007 I met a Thai girl from Isaan when visiting Thailand. Yes, she worked in a bar, behind the bar and pretty well ran the place but all the same, she worked in a bar. We corresponded after the event and of course a relationship grew. I have been to visit her again and we kept in daily contact through phone, sms, email. I was moving towards a position of being able to build on the relationship because my own marriage was at an end so I was effectively free to do as I wished. We talked often of the future and of course I sent her the obligatory ATM card for access to funds to help her and her family. I was constantly assured that she had no other person in her life as a relationship partner, and if she ever did, that she would tell me and we could part company.

I spent two or three weeks staying with her in her apartment getting to know her even better and we travelled a bit around Thailand. Whilst I had my suspicions of someone else in the background at times, I took her word that she was totally honest and would at least tell me the truth about this.

The problem I had was that my business and main source of income was in another country and I was certainly not wealthy enough to support her if I left my business. We looked at opportunities of a business in Thailand and this was a possibility. She said that she would be prepared to live part of her life in my country but of course needed to support her own family.

We were working well towards this and towards the end of last year things were stating to take shape.

I followed this forum a lot and in doing so many alarm bells rang. She spent a lot of time with her brother, phone turned off many times, disappeared for days on end and of course when I asked pointed questions, I always got the standard answer of "Don't think too much'.

It is true that in the back of my mind I always felt something was wrong but i chose to not believe it.

Just prior to Christmas I received an email from her with some photos. The problem was that the email was one that had previously been sent to another guy with the same photos. Cutting a long story short, it turned out that she had this guy in exactly the same position as me since before I had met her and was running at least two of us.

I discussed this and she of course had to come clean to some degree and I ended the relationship as it was, but agreed to retain the friendship. I further agreed to not make contact with the other guy. I felt it was not my place to do so and seriously wanted her to be happy.

About four weeks later I got an email from the other guy. He had apparently already discovered about me some months ago by finding one of my printed e-mails in her apparement. He had asked her about this and she had told him that the relaitonship with me was over and he had nothing to worry about.

the guy is a very reasonable guy and made contact with me to ask me to help him by not making further contact with her. He stated he loves her and wants to try and put all of this behind him and move on. He has asked me some detail which i am happy to give but the problem is that anything I say in relation to advising him on future protection will seem like sour grapes or a desire to hurt their relationship.

He is currently hurting very badly, as of course am I but at least I have made my decision and walked away. He intends to stay the course. I have advised him to make decisions with his head and not with his heart, but I thought that if I posted this message on here there may be some independant advice which would follow and I can point him to the thread. I really want to help this guy to make the right decision, whatever that may be.

At least then he can make his own mind up with the benefit of decent informaiton rather than simpy following his heart and maybe getting it wrong.

It is possible of course that once she has a man in her life 100%, she will change. The fact that she ran a least two of us may just be her method of fishing, place a few hooks out, play with the fish and take any that truly bite. If this is so, he may have a wonderful life ahead with her. My experience through reading this board says otherwise.

I am happy to add informtion if it is needed to clarify any points.

Thanks

How much money were you giving her per month, if I may ask?

[loong]

Tell your new friend that IF he is going to move to Thailand and be with this girl 24 hrs a day, then there might be a chance. But if he is going to continue with a long distance relationship, sending money to forget it!

How many Tee Ruks does she have? She already proved that she's a liar and a cheat (not a very clever one apparently). I have no idea how much he is sending every month, but tell him take a holiday in Thailand without telling her. If she's in Pattay, go Phuket or Vicew versa. He will probably find that this girl has no fatal attraction after all. If he does i hope that he will have the sense not to replace one bloodsucker with another. He will probably save the cost of the holiday by not sending any more money!

Edited January 25, 2009 by loong

[GuestHouse]

I do not exagerate when I say I've seen guys creating more arguments over sharing a car than over sharing the same woman.

[HumDiddy]

Dumball, so far you have made a number of inane comments on this thread which are neither helpful nor accurate. If you read the original post you will see that I have admited defeat and moved on. Some emotion is involved in this given the timing. This thread is not about me, it is about helping the other guy and saving others from making the same mistakes.

If you have nothing sensible to add I suggest you find somewhere else to post your comments. **flame removed**

Post of the day. Applies to many, and "stop being a <deleted>" is not a flame in my opinion.

He has stopped being a <deleted> he said he dumped her when he found out!!!!!!!!!!!!

[losworld]

Do not underestimate the bar girls. They are closely knit veterans of the game of money for sex. They are almost intuitive in their ability to find vulnerable males and can work a certain degree of magic in making you drop your guard with a soft touch and a warm smile. These women stick together and work together to maximize their profits. Many men are most vulnerable due to recent breakup, divorce, aging, white knight syndrome, guilt for having money, romantic delusions, etc. The problem is further exacerbated by an almost total lack of communication (sometimes intentional) due to a language barrier. While you may delude yourself into thinking she would make a great asset to your home overseas or here in Thailand the reality is that the odds are stacked against you. I would approximate that maybe one out of ten marriages to a Thai bar girl are enduring and that one out of one hundred relationships with a Thai bar girl advance to marriage. My best advice is to never forget this is a monetary transaction where you can act out your fantasy and she can act really interested. Other than that your money is best served in an interest bearing account of a different kind.

I'm not saying Thai women are not sweet, kind, attentive and attractive as they certainly are but rather that they are doing a job and you are the customer. If you can get beyond this barrier then you have a chance. I also believe that many of these women nobly support their families and most believe all falang are loaded so the ends justify the means in their minds.

P.S. Some of these girls are great actors. Academy award material.

[Svenn]

Bajaman- depending on her situation in life, it could have been very reasonable for her to play a couple guys at the same time until one 'became a sure thing' as you said- if she truly had to work in a bar to survive, she has a right to be just as suspicious of customers asking her to depend on them as the customer would be of her. When a poor girl attaches to a foreign friend, she alters her whole life and becomes utterly dependent on him to provide for her... something all of us rich westerners couldn't understand. Moreover, if she's really young (under 24 I'd say), she could still be in the 'shopping around' mode all young people should be in where they look around and try living with other people before they choose marriage too hastily.

That being said, I doubt many thai bar girls are in as dire straits as what I've described above... I have met a few orphans from Laos or Isaan who justifiablly working in bars, and who I think could play a couple old men without being morally wrong or demonstrating her bad personality... but there just aren't many girls like that anymore. You have to realize how utterly stupid or utterly desperate a human would have to be to work in a situation where they could be exposed to all sorts of deadly diseases every night, or play several different partners at the same time,... the good girls get out as quick as they can.... maybe your's couldn't, but it seems more likely she was just trying to make money. hope this helps

[a2396]

Do not underestimate the bar girls. They are closely knit veterans of the game of money for sex. They are almost intuitive in their ability to find vulnerable males and can work a certain degree of magic in making you drop your guard with a soft touch and a warm smile. These women stick together and work together to maximize their profits. Many men are most vulnerable due to recent breakup, divorce, aging, white knight syndrome, guilt for having money, romantic delusions, etc. The problem is further exacerbated by an almost total lack of communication (sometimes intentional) due to a language barrier. While you may delude yourself into thinking she would make a great asset to your home overseas or here in Thailand the reality is that the odds are stacked against you. I would approximate that maybe one out of ten marriages to a Thai bar girl are enduring and that one out of one hundred relationships with a Thai bar girl advance to marriage. My best advice is to never forget this is a monetary transaction where you can act out your fantasy and she can act really interested. Other than that your money is best served in an interest bearing account of a different kind.

I'm not saying Thai women are not sweet, kind, attentive and attractive as they certainly are but rather that they are doing a job and you are the customer. If you can get beyond this barrier then you have a chance. I also believe that many of these women nobly support their families and most believe all falang are loaded so the ends justify the means in their minds.

P.S. Some of these girls are great actors. Academy award material.

Great advice!! This applies to many "regular" Thai ladies as well. In 4 years here, I have never chosen a GF from a bar or "entertainment" venue, but I have encountered much of the same problems. I have known my current GF for over one year and am still trying to figure out if she is for real or not. The relationship seems to be inching forward, but there are some serious "doubtful" issues. If it turns out that she is on the level, it will be one of the best I have ever found.

[Geekfreaklover]

Do not underestimate the bar girls. They are closely knit veterans of the game of money for sex. They are almost intuitive in their ability to find vulnerable males and can work a certain degree of magic in making you drop your guard with a soft touch and a warm smile. These women stick together and work together to maximize their profits. Many men are most vulnerable due to recent breakup, divorce, aging, white knight syndrome, guilt for having money, romantic delusions, etc. The problem is further exacerbated by an almost total lack of communication (sometimes intentional) due to a language barrier. While you may delude yourself into thinking she would make a great asset to your home overseas or here in Thailand the reality is that the odds are stacked against you. I would approximate that maybe one out of ten marriages to a Thai bar girl are enduring and that one out of one hundred relationships with a Thai bar girl advance to marriage. My best advice is to never forget this is a monetary transaction where you can act out your fantasy and she can act really interested. Other than that your money is best served in an interest bearing account of a different kind.

I'm not saying Thai women are not sweet, kind, attentive and attractive as they certainly are but rather that they are doing a job and you are the customer. If you can get beyond this barrier then you have a chance. I also believe that many of these women nobly support their families and most believe all falang are loaded so the ends justify the means in their minds.

P.S. Some of these girls are great actors. Academy award material.

Great advice!! This applies to many "regular" Thai ladies as well. In 4 years here, I have never chosen a GF from a bar or "entertainment" venue, but I have encountered much of the same problems. I have known my current GF for over one year and am still trying to figure out if she is for real or not. The relationship seems to be inching forward, but there are some serious "doubtful" issues. If it turns out that she is on the level, it will be one of the best I have ever found.

Yes, I hear you there... One problem with dating girls from this country is all the stigma and the stories attached to the farang Thai relationships, as highlighted in the above thread. I've also heard some bad stories about Thai on Thai relationships where one has ripped the other off in one way or another. . .

You could be going out with the most honest, sweet girl, but still looking out for potentially being ripped off, cheated on etc. If you go into a relationship with this in mind it will cause problems. If you go into a relationship with a 100% trusting attitude it can also cause problems. A balance needs to be found, same as any relationship.

[GungaDin]

Do not underestimate the bar girls. They are closely knit veterans of the game of money for sex. They are almost intuitive in their ability to find

etc....

P.S. Some of these girls are great actors. Academy award material.

This is the best post that I have read all day on this topic !

Spot on mate!

May I ask where you are from?

[britmaveric]

I have known quite a few successful marriages where the lad married an ex-bg and I have known complete disasters of marriage from ordinary thai ladies. Point being - judge each situation on its own merits. If dosh becomes an issue - get out and do so swiftly because heartbreak is most likely on its way.

Edited January 25, 2009 by britmaveric

[Geekfreaklover]

I have known quite a few successful marriages where the lad married an ex-bg and I have known complete disasters of marriage from ordinary thai ladies. Point being - judge each situation on its own merits. If dosh becomes an issue - get out and do so swiftly because heartbreak is most likely on its way.

Wise words.

[patklang]

Not read most of the replys as i know what they will say.This can happen in all kinds or relationships all over the world,so its not a farang/thai girl issue its a man/woman issue.

[G54]

Oh and don't make the mistake of thinking its just ladies from bars - sharks are from every walk of life.

Too right there Brit.

Even the 'good' girls who work in shops, at factories, for the goverment or wherever are likely to be getting some good, sound advice from all and sundry when people learn she has a 'Farang' boyfriend.

Takes a strong minded lady to ignore the 'advice' she oft gets from her 'friends' and family and to make her own decisions with regards to what she wants. And only time tells if you are being playd or not.

Then you look at most postings here and wonder why the <deleted> you bother to try but there are some good ones out there.

And, of course, the sharks does not only apply to b/f - g/f either, as many of us know

[vagabond48]

You have to realize how utterly stupid or utterly desperate a human would have to be to work in a situation where they could be exposed to all sorts of deadly diseases every night, or play several different partners at the same time,... the good girls get out as quick as they can.... maybe your's couldn't, but it seems more likely she was just trying to make money. hope this helps

Sounds like it could also be describing the 1000s of customers frequenting the bars as well.

[bajaman]

Thank you all for posting your comments, they are all appreciated and have done just as I hoped. They have presented a well balanced viewpoint on a situation which happens time and time again but presented from the perspective of people who have "been there and done that" or at the very least "been there and seen that." In other words, qualified opinions with no personal agenda. That makes it a much more independant view than my own.

The only question which has now arisen is wheher or not to point the other guy involved in the direction of the thread. It had originally been my intention to do so, but there seems to be a general opinion of leaving him to find out for himself.

I have explored within myself whether I am wanting their relationship to fail, and in all honesty, if it were to transpire that everything worked out just fine, then I would be happy for them both. I therefore do not think I am doing this out of any vindictiveness towards her or jealousy towards him. Remember that as soon as I discovered the true situation, I contacted her and broke up our relationship. This came from me, true it was caused by her actions and lies, but the choice was solely mine. She asked me to stay in a relationship with her and said she was very sorry explaining that all she wanted was a man to be with her, but I could not agree after what she had done. She did not choose anyone in front of me so I do not feel jealous that he wants to give it a go. If anything, I think he is where I was some time ago, blinded by emotion and feelings of love, fantasy of a future which may or may not be possible.

I would never in my life, knowingly have a relationship with a woman who can lie so easily, and whilst it will appear I have not acted on advice I have read here before, and been blinded by fantasy and dreams, I have truly learned my lesson now and am a much different person to the one I was only a week or so ago.

I do still feel some sense of responsibility. He has contacted me and asked for information. As you can imagine, she is doing the 'don't think too much' thing with him and the silent treatment in the hope it will all blow over. All I wanted ot do was to give him some perspectives to consider when he is looking for confirmation that she is honest and true to him.

He hasn't contacted me for a day or two now so mabe if I hear no more I will leave it at that.

Thank you

Edited January 25, 2009 by bajaman

[GungaDin]

If he does contact you again, point him to the topic, up to him what he does with the info.