You Know You Are In Thailand When....

[tracer5050]

Although the ubiquitous shoulder rub by the bathroom "guy" that used to happen while standing at the urinal seems to have disappeared. Now that freaked me out.

A simple "Mai Ow Krup" would have solved that. (I'm old enough to remember this too).

Just say mi ben dri krup and they will leave you alone

[JimmyConway]

You know your in Thailand when........the plane lands at Bangkok <deleted>? do you need any more clues?

[mattias33]

You know your in Thailand when........the plane lands at Bangkok <deleted>? do you need any more clues?

Good one!

[yogi]

you know you are in thiland when you see 5 tailor shops on single road

[bonsaimax]

You know you are in Thailand .......

...... whe strangers go out of their way to help you

...... when the cab driver gives you candy or gum along with your change

...... when ppl touch their ears when they burn their fingers.

...... when workers mix concrete using a hoe.

...... when your host peels prawns for you.

...... when your barber runs the razorblade through your forehead and earlobes.

...... when you don't have to fill petrol yourself

...... when your Thai friend has a new name every time you meet because a monk told her to change it.

...... when a faulty circuit breaker causes blackouts, so the mother in law invites monks instead of an electrician

...... when you pay for damages because a stupid motorbike hits your parked car

...... when you come back home with tons of plastic bags after shopping

...... when you cannot renew your driver's license before it expires

[ballpoint]

Although the ubiquitous shoulder rub by the bathroom "guy" that used to happen while standing at the urinal seems to have disappeared. Now that freaked me out.

A simple "Mai Ow Krup" would have solved that. (I'm old enough to remember this too).

Just say mi ben dri krup and they will leave you alone

... when the language is bastardised and the locals are too polite to correct it.

[xbusman]

When you have toilet paper in every room...... except the bathroom.

When you own a motorcycle helmet but no motorcycle.

When you have to go next door and buy a spare phone line from a neighbor.

When the spare phone line doesnt work because the last owner did not pay the bill and you have to pay it up to get it connected.

When it costs 3 million dollars to buy a cheesy built condo along the BTS line but $400 a month to rent it.... including furniture!

When the cop takes approximately $3 in bribes to let you go, and you have'nt done anything anyway, and you are glad to pay it and move on.

When you consider the dotted white line to be the motorcycle lane and get a little jai rawn when the cars encroach.

When you pick your nose in public and cover your mouth to use a toothpick

When you spice up your food with various table things... before you taste it.

When driving a motorcycle with a bag of soda is acceptable.

and smoking a cigarette at the same time.....

while talking on a cell phone....

on the sidewalk...

going the wrong direction...

fast....

When you kick your shoes off at the door.... and put your motorcycle inside the living room.....

When you actually watch Thai TV, you have been here way too long.

[Pakeha]

...... when your barber runs the razorblade through your forehead and earlobes.

Haha. That one still baffles me.

[sendbaht]

When you see one of those old Toyota Cressida's and think, wow, look at that large luxury car.

[Pakeha]

When you think it's normal to feed the dog rice... and not to have any hair!

[dave9988]

you hear the word ageist spoken

[G54]

When even a small job of work takes endless debate between 3 or 4 people and still you cannot get a straight answer.

I and my trusty interpreter took a rear view mirror to the local car shop wanting to have it stuck back on the windscreen with a new pad / glue. First the shopkeeper looked at the mirror, palyed around with it while he - seemingly - tried to decide what it was and how it worked. Next I was asked to drive the car into the work area. 2 of them climbed in the car and debated the problem while a third one looked on and gave his advice also. After 10 minutes of them debating the problem I started to get irritated and asked, 'Can they do it or not?'.

I was told to wait.

10 minutes later they said they could not do it as they did not have the materials.

Surely they knew that without having to climb in the car to inspect and discuss for forever?

This sort of situation happens so often here it is like some comedy.

[Samuian]

YKYAITW: People discussing the "short comings & weird habits " of the locals endlessly but still insist they wouldn't want to live somewhere else.

[65Craig]

Although the ubiquitous shoulder rub by the bathroom "guy" that used to happen while standing at the urinal seems to have disappeared. Now that freaked me out.

A simple "Mai Ow Krup" would have solved that. (I'm old enough to remember this too).

Still happens... I saw a couple of rock shows at the Mandalay in Chiang Mai fairly recently (Retrospect and Big Ass) and the workers in the bathroom did that. I said "Mai Ow Khrap" but didn't do the trick. I then went with "Mai Don Jap" (Don't Touch Me) and purposely removed the Khrap, because you just don't mess with a man while he's peeing. The latter did the trick... Probably thought I was an a-hole, but who cares, I don't want a massage while I'm peeing, and if I did, I would have brought my wife in with me (she was at the shows too).

[lost_in_space]

When you see 2 Uni gals, one a Muslim covered up from head to toe, the other in a mini skirt, walking down the street holding hands and laughing. (At least on my soi).

[mahtin]

When you can smile at a child without setting off an alarm.

When you can smile at a young lady without getting a look of horror in return.

When you can smile at a guy without (see above.)

When someone smiles at you.

Land of Smile

[spud1]

When a tuk tuk/taxi driver refuses your fare even tho there going to drive passed the destination you require.

[kalasin]

Yoy know your in Thailand when you at the local shop ask for three beer chang and ten baht ice.

[01322521959]

I could write an entire book about this topic...but i will only add 2-3...

I know I am in Thaidland when...

Police stops me because i am a farang driving a big bike....

Cop: "lic. pls"

Me: "here you go sir...."

Cop:" well everything is in oder but i want you to pay me 300 baht because..ummm.your bike is black"

Me: "how about 200?"

Cop:" ok"

I dont have 200 bath bills, so i give him a 1000b note and he saids thank you, takes out his wallet....and gives me back 800b !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You know you are in Thailand when you have to look 4 ways before corssing a 1 way street...

You know you are in Thailand when you see Fat, old nasty dudes walking around Pattaya shirtless, while girls scream "Hey, you hansome man".......

[Pakeha]

Yoy know your in Thailand when you at the local shop ask for three beer chang and ten baht ice.

And it's a ten year old selling the beer...

[lebelge]

When farungs tell you hard luck stories and someone they know and Thai Girlfriend

When none them wants to admit that it was them self

When a 62 year old farung proudly introduces their 38 year old Thai wife, with blow up boobs, the 10 minutes later claims she was a virgin when he met her

[Pakeha]

When farungs tell you hard luck stories and someone they know and Thai Girlfriend

When none them wants to admit that it was them self

When a 62 year old farung proudly introduces their 38 year old Thai wife, with blow up boobs, the 10 minutes later claims she was a virgin when he met her

farungs ?

[nigelandjan]

When despite covering every inch of flesh you are still covered in mozzie bites

When despite just having a shower to wash off all the sweat and salt , 5 mins later you need to do it all again

When despite saying mai ped 10 times when you order your massaman gai it still comes with enough chilli to anethatise your mouth to enable an extraction

Mai bpen rai

[yabaaaa]

when you see FOUR people on a motorbike.....................and their dog!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But only when the dogs driving!!!

[yabaaaa]

You know your in Thailand

When you give your builder a box of 6 glass blocks to fit into a wall, and when you come back to see finished work, there is still one in the box.

And the other five are in "his" house.

[Valjean]

When dashing down a street in Bangkok on a motorbike evaporating vinegar from a sidewalk cooking cart catches your breath and stings your eyes.

When it’s 6AM and it’s so hot that reading email is causing you to sweat.

When you’re eating somtom.

When you ask for ice in your beer.

When you’re in a taxi and the drive is listening to luuk-tung and clearly doesn’t know where he’s going.

When you’re offered an insect to eat and you eat it with a smile (and chug of beer).

When you wait 5 minutes at a traffic light and figure it must be normal.

When you’re riding on a taxi motorbike, flying through traffic – without a helmet.

When the sight of university student in her regular uniform cause your heart to skip a beat.

When you have an awesome massage for a few dollars.

When you fart and people laugh.

When you’re at your wife’s family’s house and grandmother has come out of the shower topless.

When you come out of the shower with only a towel and don’t feel in a hurry to change.

When you wake up in the morning to the bird screeching in the trees around you.

When bottle service is the norm not a luxury.

When at a restaurant the waiter/waitress just waits for you to look at the menu and order – no matter how long it takes.

When the food is so good you can’t believe it.

When the sidewalk restaurants have the food so good.

When you can get fresh fruit anywhere for 10 baht.

When sometimes a ladyboy looks good.

When music you’d never listen to at home sounds just perfect.

When you go to a lake or river and feed the mass of fish.

When you make the down payment on your house with an envelope of cash that would make a drug dealer embarrassed.

When you see people picking lice out of each other’s hair.

When you see your girl plucking hair out of her armpit.

When you squat to do your business.

When there’s no toilet paper it’s OK, you know what to do.

When there’s not a bum squinter you’re upset.

When you’re on BTS in the rush hour, packed in shoulder to shoulder, and no one smells bad.

When there’s a topless ladyboy at your wedding.

When you look at a chart in the morning to see the right colors to wear.

When you stand up before a movie.

When you spend 13 hours in the back of a pick-up and you’re still not at your destination.

When you eat with a spoon.

When you eat out of the same plate with 10 people, with that same spoon.

When your neighbor comes over in their pajamas.

When your neighbors, or strangers, ask how much you paid for your house, how old you are, how much you make…

When you wake up in the morning and feel full of thanks for this wonderful life.

When kindness kisses your brow and smiles touch your heart.

When the sun sets on verdant green rice fields, mountains in the distance, children dance on the dusty red road and the music murmur of the village is in the distance.

When your wife is 30 years younger than you and is the anchor, the rock and the touchstone in your life.

When you find yourself kneeling before a golden Buddha in a temple somewhere in the middle of nowhere, for a reason you don’t understand, in a place far from home, tears running down your cheeks from the wonder of this life and a monk comes over and says in perfect English “Where you from?”

[GrahamF]

Nice post Valjean!

[henryalleman]

You know that you are in Thailand when 4 people are needed to replace a tyre, and they did not asked money for it.

Edited February 22, 2009 by henryalleman

[henryalleman]

When you see 2 Uni gals, one a Muslim covered up from head to toe, the other in a mini skirt, walking down the street holding hands and laughing. (At least on my soi).

I see this every day in my home town Antwerp

[loong]

You take your motorbike in for a small adjustment and no charge

The only junk mail you receive is in your inbox

People offer you a glass of whiskey at 6 am (or any time of day/night)

Drivers slow down for a dog in the road, but not for pedestrians

Somebody comes and collects the money for the electric and water at 6am