Need Help! Asap

[meemiathai]

Good question.

But standard for men is different, I think.

[cdnvic]

meemiathai I've never seen you say anything about farungs that isn't bitter and nasty. Makes me wonder why you bother hanging out here.

And before you call me a typical stupid farung... I say the same to people who do nothing but slag Thais too.

Whatever happened in the past to make you so bitter, get over it.

cv

[Flummoxed]

I expend a lot of energy telling people not to always go with the crowd and to think for yourself, not to live their lives by cliches, act on your own information etc etc. I'm particularly annoyed by people back home assuming a Thai Wife is/was a prostitute. I will always take some time to assess people and find out where they're really coming from, whatever their background...

... Having said that, a friend of mine in England recently told me he met a Russian girl on the internet. After a while, he told me he was going to send her what is quite a large amount of money to her to assist in her obtaining a visa. I was furious with him, telling him that he needs his head examining for sending money to a woman he has never met and that he was clearly being fleeced etc etc etc. I was being exactly the sort of idiot that pisses me off, assuming the worst of this Woman. Maybe she is fleecing my friend but I failed to give him objective advice (I have since corrected that).

I guess what I'm trying to say is... Don't make potentially life changing decisions on what others tell you. Go and find out for yourself my friend, or you may regret it.

[meemiathai]

meemiathai I've never seen you say anything about farungs that isn't bitter and nasty. Makes me wonder why you bother hanging out here.

And before you call me a typical stupid farung... I say the same to people who do nothing but slag Thais too.

Whatever happened in the past to make you so bitter, get over it.

cv

There are A LOT of good things about farangs!

But I like to mention only the also a lot of bad things about them.

[meemiathai]

If I don't hang out here, I won't know how good and bad they are.

[andyadam]

lol those were my fears exactly...yea ill probably stick with my instinct before hiring someone though, as she decided to not tell me about this job for a few weeks ( despite daily contact )

ce la vi! just please lord dont let it be the fetish bar!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

You never know, could be fun!!!!!!!!!!!!

[CanadianBacon]

well trust me, any decision i make i will make on my own, i was simply gathering information to help me with that decision. I dont give a f@@ if she works in a bar, its the simple fact that i dont want to be stuck in a relationship where i never know whats the truth and whats not. I just thought i should find out what kind of bar it is first. Because thier is a big difference between a "hostess" bar, and a regular disco.

Ill most definatly still say hello when i come back to bkk, but i just dont wanna always have to worry wether or not my girls lying( and i know all people lie, but thiers lies, and then thiers lies that ###### with your head ). who knows, somthing might happen again, things change , but for now ( this decision is probably helped by the fact im not thier right now ) ill listen to my brain and call it off.

[udon]

Rasher, you had better get used to lieing from bar girls, it's all about FACE and avoiding confrontation.

[stroll]

What's the obsession with 'truth'?

Unless I finance her life or mutual vows of being faithful are made, I don't even ask what she's up to. In my experience, Thais are even less likely to reveal potentially embarrassing and damaging information than westerners. I think udon is on the right track, imagine what you would say to 'save your face'? It's not such an alien 'Asian' concept, really.

[Gazza]

It's simply a woman's perogative to lie about certain things. Doesn't every adult male know that?.

[snoophound]

Me not lie

Me just not tell you everyting

Me newer lie

It's simply a woman's perogative to lie about certain things. Doesn't every adult male know that?.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

[cdnvic]

It's simply a woman's perogative to lie about certain things. Doesn't every adult male know that?.

Doesn't every adult male do it too?

cv

[mouse]

well trust me, any decision i make i will make on my own, i was simply gathering information to help me with that decision.  I dont give a f@@ if she works in a bar, its the simple fact that i dont want to be stuck in a relationship where i never know whats the truth and whats not.  I just thought i should find out what kind of bar it is first.  Because thier is a big difference between a "hostess" bar, and a regular disco.

        Ill most definatly still say hello when i come back to bkk, but i just dont wanna always have to worry wether or not my girls lying( and i know all people lie, but thiers lies, and then thiers lies that ###### with your head ).  who knows, somthing might happen again, things change , but for now ( this decision is probably helped by the fact im not thier right now ) ill listen to my brain and call it off.

But if you give her up you may never know the truth and it will likely bug you for a long time to come. As for working in a bar; What if she was a lawyer and only went out with rich clients in Manhattan and then she left one of those rich clients just to be with you? What then?

You have to understand that we all want to marry beautiful virgins that never lie, give us beautiful chidlren and that are capable of being w***** in bed. Just cannot have everything. Usually two out of three is a good beginning in Thailand. Surpise her and visit her and only then will you know for sure. Try not to let us negative veterans on this forum spoils a chance for you. You never know.

Oh! Be sure to let us know the final result. Were always ready for what Paul Harvey calls the rest of the story. Good Luck!

[CanadianBacon]

well, thanks all for the comments and advice, interesting to see all the perspectives of this one problem...made me think of somethings i would not have otherwise. Will definatly just not get any deeper and see what happens when im in bkk. And since i promised it in the begining ill buy beers for the ones with most helpfull advice when im back , but its up to you to remind me

[gburns57au]

well, thanks all for the comments and advice, interesting to see all the perspectives of this one problem...made me think of somethings i would not have otherwise. Will definatly just not get any deeper and see what happens when im in bkk.  And since i promised it in the begining ill buy beers for the ones with most helpfull advice when im back , but its up to you to remind me

Well I wish you good luck because you will need it. Not just with this relationship but with any possible future relationships. In order to have any relationship you need trust but to have a relationship with a Thai girl you also need tolerence and plenty of it, They have a different mindset and if you cant get your head around that, you will always have problems.

One guy here quoted that once in a great while a relationship with a TBG works out and then is only a shallow one....this is absolute BS ....I know many Thai girls here in Oz who have great relationships and are very happy and committed to they farang partners.

If you need to come to internet forums to get help to decide on what you should do, or you are considering hiring PI's, you shouldnt be in that relationship in the first place. Not because she has lied to you or she maybe going off with farangs behind your back....but because you are not ready for a long distance relationship with a Thai girl.

[chonabot]

If you need to come to internet forums to get help to decide on what you should do, or you are considering hiring PI's, you shouldnt be in that relationship in the first place. Not because she has lied to you or she maybe going off with farangs behind your back....but because you are not ready for a long distance relationship with a Thai girl.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Spot on advice.

I've been married to my ex-BG wife for 8 years now ( plus 2 years before marriage) . I had a few doubts , these forums didn't exist back then.

Even if they did , I'm not sure I would use them for this purpose.

I had "friends" who gave their expert advice , without being asked.

Most of them are single or divorced now , out of 8 only one of our old group has kids and is in a happy relationship.

Yeppers it's me.

[kreon]

lets get back to the topic

went to have a lookie at the brick last night

btw nothing to write home about

saw the dj there, a tall gal, gave me her name but have an alcoholic blur

anyhow, she was getting heavenly stucked in a big black guy for a hours or so before i moved on

i hope you don't mind......and now you own me a beer or two

[Ijustwannateach]

CB, I agree with the other posters that your girl's story is slightly dodgy. Whether you care much about that or not is up to you.

It's true that your gal is not necessarily in a gogobar (from the sound of it), but in Thailand that doesn't mean the place and the people working there aren't a bit suspect.

I find that certain types of places in Thailand simply are prone to dodginess, in *general* [yes, yes, I'm sure there are non-dodgy workers occasionally in some of them]:

bar workers (any position, any kind of bar)

karaoke bar/restaurant workers

massage/beauty salon workers

restaurant/department store workers in touristy zones

By "dodgy," I don't mean that you can pay an off-fee and do the gogo thing. I mean that they are *generally* open to suitably respectful (and expensive) "compensated dating," where the compensation is not necessarily payment in crude cash. Entertainment, fine food, discos, transportation, and small tasteful gifts will also do. The fact that they choose to work in such a place rather than a NON-dodgy establishment says a lot about what they're looking for- 'cause there are plenty of attractive people working in other more respectable kinds of jobs here. As a tourist, however, the low level of commitment involved may make it ideal for you.

You pays your money and you takes your choice. Nothing is free.

"Steven"

[WISteve]

" Because thier is a big difference between a "hostess" bar, and a regular disco."

The only difference is window dressing IMO, cb.

The net result at the end of the night is typically the same.

A long distance romance in ANY COUNTRY (including your own) is difficult.

You don't trust her judging by your questions and your suspicions seem warranted. If you do not trust her now, early in the relationship, it's not likely to improve with time. If she's lying to you, or at the bare minimun hiding important facts from you such as employment, it will only get FAR WORSE.

If you will be spending substantial parts of the year (read that as most) in Thailand in the future, pursue this until you are satisfied that she is indeed in the trade. Because that's what's happenning. If you can live with it, fine. But try to protect yourself emotionally now, before you come back. Because you know what you are going to find already.

Take care of YOU!

~WISteve

[Iwrote it]

Read Private Dancer, Stephen Leather, and then rethink!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Just in case you don't know, Private Dancer is now in print and available at all Bookazine branches, or through www.dcothai.com!

[pautai]

well trust me, any decision i make i will make on my own, i was simply gathering information to help me with that decision.  I dont give a f@@ if she works in a bar, its the simple fact that i dont want to be stuck in a relationship where i never know whats the truth and whats not.  I just thought i should find out what kind of bar it is first.  Because thier is a big difference between a "hostess" bar, and a regular disco.

        Ill most definatly still say hello when i come back to bkk, but i just dont wanna always have to worry wether or not my girls lying( and i know all people lie, but thiers lies, and then thiers lies that ###### with your head ).  who knows, somthing might happen again, things change , but for now ( this decision is probably helped by the fact im not thier right now ) ill listen to my brain and call it off.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

just ask yourself a few questions .can she go without a screw and for how long will she abstain from sex ?

how much does she need to live on per month ,rent,eats,phone,travel,taxis, etc

and add up how much and where it comes from .

Thay ALL lie, has anbody met a thai gir that can tell the truth non stop ?

emphatically NO .

Trust a rattlesnake before you trust a thai female .especially those involved in the night scene .they just pick up too many bad habits ,and unless you are around full time they will take the piss. its just basic survival .

[pautai]

howdy boys( or all girls who would know of this topic;) ), my gf just got a job in some bar called the brick on soi 33, never been thier, but i would like to know what kind of a place this is

( she was never in a bar when i was thier, so i want to know if shes jerkin my chain by saying "shes just a dj" )

    i would like to trust her, but im not back long term for a few months and quite frankly ive heard enough horror stories to not always trust a thai person ( as it is almost customary to lie to save face for the other person ), and to know many a man has been fooled by his " honest" gf

anyways, my gut is its more than just a dance bar , but i would very much like this confirmed, any help is appreaciated ( ill buy ya a beer when im back)

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

give her a polygraph test and the machine will explode and melt because it cant cope with the load same with any thai girl who works in the entertainment realm .

[amarka]

howdy boys( or all girls who would know of this topic;) ), my gf just got a job in some bar called the brick on soi 33, never been thier, but i would like to know what kind of a place this is

( she was never in a bar when i was thier, so i want to know if shes jerkin my chain by saying "shes just a dj" )

    i would like to trust her, but im not back long term for a few months and quite frankly ive heard enough horror stories to not always trust a thai person ( as it is almost customary to lie to save face for the other person ), and to know many a man has been fooled by his " honest" gf

anyways, my gut is its more than just a dance bar , but i would very much like this confirmed, any help is appreaciated ( ill buy ya a beer when im back)

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

give her a polygraph test and the machine will explode and melt because it cant cope with the load same with any thai girl who works in the entertainment realm .

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

hi guys...

so she's doing what she's doing and probably with others too - just like the rest of us?

so wheres the problem? and what is the alternative? if you think she's going to just sit and wait for you to come and entertain her, then surely you are wrong...

seems to me she is just getting on with her life - same as all the western girls do too when hubby is away...... in thailand ?

amarka ...

[The_Eye_Of_Sauron]

I find that certain types of places in Thailand simply are prone to dodginess, in *general*

(Have we got a spare Nobel Prize knocking around that we can give Steven for his inspired observation?)

'Brick' is called Brick because of the attractive brick frontage slapped on a knackered Thai shophouse. Its not a go-go, its cocktail lounge. The girls don't look like they are accustomed to their chiffon cocktail dresses. As in all the bars on Soi 33, nocturnal proclivities can be accommodated.

[sonthaya]

well trust me, any decision i make i will make on my own, i was simply gathering information to help me with that decision.  I dont give a f@@ if she works in a bar, its the simple fact that i dont want to be stuck in a relationship where i never know whats the truth and whats not.  I just thought i should find out what kind of bar it is first.  Because thier is a big difference between a "hostess" bar, and a regular disco.

        Ill most definatly still say hello when i come back to bkk, but i just dont wanna always have to worry wether or not my girls lying( and i know all people lie, but thiers lies, and then thiers lies that ###### with your head ).  who knows, somthing might happen again, things change , but for now ( this decision is probably helped by the fact im not thier right now ) ill listen to my brain and call it off.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

just ask yourself a few questions .can she go without a screw and for how long will she abstain from sex ?

how much does she need to live on per month ,rent,eats,phone,travel,taxis, etc

and add up how much and where it comes from .

Thay ALL lie, has anbody met a thai gir that can tell the truth non stop ?

emphatically NO .

Trust a rattlesnake before you trust a thai female .especially those involved in the night scene .they just pick up too many bad habits ,and unless you are around full time they will take the piss. its just basic survival .

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Such a negative attitude to Thai women, you must have had some bad experience but they are not all the same, I have now been married for 13 years with a Thai ex BG, and we have many friends in the same situation, all happy, this goes to show don't judge all BG's as bad.

[2 satang]

Not to last poster in particular, but some of you guys crack me up.

I see comments here from people who have never even set 1 foot in soi 33 making silly comments here.

The way I see it -and know it- all bars there are "better" beer bars, all girls working there are hookers. All.

Except maybe 'some' dekservers and some DJ's excluded, although I had a few of them as well in my time.

What else does beacon wants to know ?

just my 2 satang

[udon]

proclivities I'll have to look that one up!

Ahh, here it is!

Edited February 11, 2005 by udon

[dr_Pat_Pong]

proclivities I'll have to look that one up!  

Ahh, here it is!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

The results of all that time in the shed is beginning to show

[udon]

Correct! You can add 2 mice and a rat to my new mates in this bloody shed.

Fruit pigeons don't half make a racket on the tin when copulating, I now keep a small supply of rocks to get rid of the feathered fornicators.

[Sully]

Dude! Do the PI thing..worked for me. My lovely had me convinced she racked up billard balls on soi 19 for a living. Having sensed something was amiss, I got a PI to look into it. Lo and behold...shes on soi 33. Man peace of mind is a great thing. Dont put yourself through this.

addy ose

Sully