Thai Girls Leaving Their Home Country?

[ThaiLover1]

To all Western men:

I am interested to hear your experiences about bringing a non-bar Thai girlfriend (or wife) to another country for a long term stay. I am not asking about immigration issues, but simple things about possible hassles from the Western culture and the impact on the love relationship with your sweet and caring girl from Thailand.

For example issues like this:

- Will the Thai girl lose the charming "up-to-you" attitude, and become more independent and Western thinking?

- Will she be bored and watch soap-operas on TV all day and become another couch potato? Willl she become a party freak and want to go dancing with local Farangs? Or, will she pick up and do some postive activity (read: go to school or start a business)?

- Will she adopt some of the “strong” attitudes of Western women where divorce court is just around the corner for a 50% split of all marital assets? The Thai girl might even enjoy to learn from her new Western women friends that the major income earner (read: Western husband) will pay for the legal costs for both parties in a divorce!

- Will she be hassled by other men - because she is Thai, young and beautiful? Perhaps an older man (like me) with a 20s young girl will be seen as fair game for a young romantic Western male, or does the Western male keep his distance and respect?

- Does the Thai girl show disinterest when approached by an interested Western male, and does she decline to get involved with needless chat and refuse to give out her cell phone number etc? In my experience Thai girls do not like to say “no” to a phone number request, even if they have no intention to start a romance.

- Will she adjust to the new Western culture, without convenient food vendors offering food and fresh fruits wherever you turn?

- Will she get used to the Western middle class suburbia, without taxies and people walking around in the neighborhoods? Things may be very quite and boring compared to sanok Thailand.

- Do you have any other cultural comments to help to set me straight on whether to bring my future wife to America or not?

PS Please hold all your flames that I should find a Western girl around my own age in my own local country.

[lional6]

Twice I took them home with me. never again. It's all too hard for them.

[ThaiLover1]

Twice I took them home with me. never again. It's all too hard for them.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Care to explain why you were having trouble with your sweet Thai thing?

(Picture of an unknown Thai lady from a business conference.)

[lional6]

The first wife was Lawyer was bored to death not able to work. The first winter she almost died (she did get very sick) it was 20 odd years ago, there was no Thai Food in the west. The second almost the same plus she was 18 years younger than me, yes a trophy wife, to make wife number one get most upset.

[ThaiLover1]

The first wife was Lawyer was bored to death not able to work. The first winter she almost died (she did get very sick) ...

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Why did she get sick? Did she have problem with the cold weather?

My Thai girlfriend complains when it gets below 25C, and sometimes starts wearing a scarf. I always laugh when I see this. To me it is summer weather when it is 25C.

(Yet, another Thai sweet thing.)

Edited January 23, 2005 by ThaiLover1

[lional6]

The cold is something they have never had to deal with. She was 42kg no body fat she lost body heat so quickly. They are hot to touch that is there natural way do deal with the Thai all year summer, plus they don’t cope very well with a 40c plus summer.

[ThaiLover1]

The cold is something they have never had to deal with. She was 42kg no body fat ...

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Yes, you are right - Thai girls have a low body-fat. Perhaps this is also one of the reasons we like them so much. (smile)

The body-fat percentage of my GF is only 9% ! This is almost unheard of in Western countries, unless you are an athlete.

Did you girl get a serious cold or flu? Any more details to help me understand?

[lional6]

Hypothermia and it wasn’t that she was in snow or long periods outside. She loss control of her body heat so being rugged up was no help. She was tall for her time 5’7” 42kg less than 20” waist.

[ThaiLover1]

... I think my wife has addapted extremely well to the cultural changes.

No complaints from her and none from me.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

It is nice to hear such a good report.

I like to think I am confident and secure in my being. However, I am asking the questions in this thread because most of my Western friends that go to Thailand on a regular basis advice me against bringing a Thai girl back to the US. This question is a point of education and what to expect.

The Internet is all about information from the masses. I hope to hear from several people regarding the questions raised in the beginning of this thread. It saves time and research, and can help make the transition more easy for my Thai girl, if we decide to make the move to a Western country.

PLEASE REMEMBER TO VOTE - THANKS (at the top of this this web page)

Edited January 23, 2005 by ThaiLover1

[Nokkeow]

I met my wife in the US while she was a college student. She is gregarious and makes friends easily with people from all backgrounds and nationalities and is not the slightest bit self-conscious or shy. I have never had to worry about her sitting home alone unhappily pining for Thailand/Thai food food/Thai friends to talk to. We have lived in several states, and we always visit a local Thai temple upon arriving at a new place, which starts the process of her making new friends.

Most of her Thai friends over the years have been Thai-expats who have adjusted well to life in the U.S. They run the gamut from Thai wives with Thai husbands to former bar girls married to servicemen (unlike some Thais I have seen, she is not judgmental about Thai ladies' pasts, I think in large part due to her strong religious beliefs-I don't believe all Thais feel this way). She loves the winter weather and snow, and her least favorite part about Thailand is the hot and humid weather. She normally goes home once or twice a year, which is plenty for her. About the only thing that bothers her is that many of the Thai ladies we have met over the years have been gossips who form cliques. And then there is that initial questions we have both answered many times "So, where did you meet your wife/husband?" which seems to often be code for "did you meet your wife in a bar?" and revealing a prevalent stereotype many Americans have about Asian women, and for Thai and Filipino women in particular. That used to bother me, but I don't really care anymore (it might be different if I HAD met my wife working in a bar, however).

I believe I am extremely lucky to have found someone who has adapted so well to life in the U.S.

From my observations I would say how a Thai adapts to life in the U.S. depends largely on the person and, to a lesser degree, where you would be living. I think it would be harder to adapt to living in rural America where there were few if any Thais in the area, particularly if the female was shy and lacking language skills and confidence. Having a temple nearby helps a lot I believe, since it provides a solid link to Thai culture and a place to meet other Thais.

[tutsiwarrior]

when people ask where I met my wife I always say 'in a buddhist church...she was singing in the choir...'

[Harmonica]

ThaiLover,

Why did you suddenly stop posting those fine pictures? Here I was -- prepared to keep reading your posts with such enticing background scenery and then without warning, you just got lazy and stopped the flow. Keep them a-coming amigo.

You're worrying too much -- and about too many things.

If she really digs you, ALL your doubts will be swept away and, no she will not be tempted by other fellas -- or should I say -- as we never will ever know -- tempted perhaps, but followed thru', NO!

A TG in love, makes an excellent companion, perhaps the best in the world.

Many have already put up with a torrent of abuse from their Thai boyfriend/hubby and are just looking for a fella who won't cheat on them, beat up on them -- AND someone who will take care of them financially and generally speaking, take care of MAMA too.

If you take her stateside and discover after a few years that she is unhappy, it might be worth a shot then to move to Thailand permanently. You'll live longer and feel much better --- this I can promise you.

Send more pictures.

[ProfessorFart]

I think that there are two sides to this.

Some guys would say that getting them away from their families is a good thing, but then theres the boredom, cultural isolation, cold weather etc. to contend with.

Others may argue that being in Thailand is better because of the cost of living, climate and the fact that she won't be bored or isolated.

At the end of the day there are pros and cons to both situations from what I can gather from these pages.

[ronz28]

My Thai lady and I have lived together in the US for almost 35 years now and its been good, I have always wanted to live in Thailand but when I landed a job there once she said no at the time because she wanted the kids to grow up in the U.S. It depends too on where you live in the U.S. A Buddhist temple nearby helps and living in some areas of the U.S could be negative. I am certain every person is different but our experience has been as follows:

- Will the Thai girl lose the charming "up-to-you" attitude, and become more independent and Western thinking? Nope, she still offers me the first bite after cutting an orange to eat, etc. Things have not ever been totally up to me but the Thai attitude has never changed.

- Will she be bored and watch soap-operas on TV all day and become another couch potato? Will she become a party freak and want to go dancing with local Farangs? Or, will she pick up and do some positive activity (read: go to school or start a business)? Mine went to college and got a job. She has now retired from it and watches Trading Places and other home remodeling shows now- not soaps. Since retiring a year ago she has painted and reorganized every room in the house. Not a party girl and it takes a lot to get her to go out for an evening.

- Will she adopt some of the “strong” attitudes of Western women where divorce court is just around the corner for a 50% split of all marital assets? The Thai girl might even enjoy to learn from her new Western women friends that the major income earner (read: Western husband) will pay for the legal costs for both parties in a divorce! No such attitude change and no experience here for me with that.

- Will she be hassled by other men - because she is Thai, young and beautiful? Perhaps an older man (like me) with a 20s young girl will be seen as fair game for a young romantic Western male, or does the Western male keep his distance and respect? Never had that problem though she is good looking but always dresses appropriately.

- Does the Thai girl show disinterest when approached by an interested Western male, and does she decline to get involved with needless chat and refuse to give out her cell phone number etc? In my experience Thai girls do not like to say “no” to a phone number request, even if they have no intention to start a romance. She knows how to say no but has not been hassled.

- Will she adjust to the new Western culture, without convenient food vendors offering food and fresh fruits wherever you turn? Yes but still enjoys eating out at Thai restaurants and cooks Thai food daily.

- Will she get used to the Western middle class suburbia, without taxies and people walking around in the neighborhoods? Things may be very quite and boring compared to sanok Thailand. Yes, but she must have her own car, access to the internet, time at the Buddahist temple and some even need Thai cable TV. Don't forget to get her a dog that can live in the house.

- Do you have any other cultural comments to help to set me straight on whether to bring my future wife to America or not? I believe Thais get along well in places like California, Washington State, Hawaii, Austin, Ft Worth and Dallas Texas. I don't think my wife would like living in the country (small town with no Thai community or Thai food) so , to me, it really depends on her and specifically where you want to take her. We are thinking of moving to Thailand when I retire but she is a little negative on the idea and just wants to vacation there. Good luck.

[bmanly]

My wife came to Australia 16 years ago. She likes it here better than Thailand and I like it better in Thailand that's probably why we spend 6 Months a piece in each. My wife and I are both mid 40's so no funny looks here. It does look weird to see a 60 yo man with a 20 yo Thai woman and in the west you will be labelled. People will say things like how much are you paying her or shes a mail order bride.

When my wife was younger she was verbally abused a few times by jerks but I was there to help her and comfort her. I remember 1 particular case where a jerk said to her in a club "wanna &lt;deleted&gt; for $10" and she came to me crying. I took her out of the club and we went for a drive and I said her "welcome to Australia, you have to understand you are different and jerks will always try and target you". I said to her if you want to live with me forever you must accept that when I am not around these jerks will come out, can you handle that? She said as long as I got you I don't care I only care about you.

Anyhow 16 years latter now she has no hassles and there are many Asians living in Australia. She works part time in a regular job and loves to go to op shops and meet with the old ladies. She does not have any Thai friends only aquaintences, she likes it that way. We have all the Thai food you can get in Thailand here so we don't miss out on that. She likes the cool weather better than Thailands hot weather. She likes being far away from her family too, she doesn't get the problems that way. In this country we have 2 Thai broadcasts a week on SBS radio she likes that too. Plus I taught her how to use the internet and she spends a lot of time reading Thai newspapers too. She still loves, Buddha and the King and she is still 100% Thai but just prefers to live in OZ and the OZ way.

It all depends on the person and this is probably the wrong thing to say but if I was 60 yo and I had a 20 yo Thai partner I would probably chose Thailand over the a western country but in my case it doesn't matter. There are many other Thai women I know who didn't work out as well as my wife did and did chase younger guys or end up going drinking. If I was 20 yo I would rather be out and about having fun that sitting around doing nothing but that's me.

I hope that helped somewhat, this is just my experience, good luck mate.

[mydrawingtable]

Hello

I'm Thai (female) who leaving my home country to live with my husband in Denmark. We are quite happy together and we fight once in awhile just like other couples. My husband is an engineer who is very busy with his work and almost never home. So, most of the time I'm home alone.. no, I'm not lonely..just alone. If I'm going out alone or with some Danish girlfriends and some guys talk to me or ask for my telephone nr., then I just show them my wedding ring. I think Danish gents respect that.

It never been easy when you are far away from your home country. I met many Thais in DK who are unhappy and spend time/money in a casino. Many of them have a wish for the death of their husbands, than they can go back home with some money from his life insurance. Many of Thais who live here are doing quite fine. They are going to school, learn Danish and some of them have good jobs or run their own business.

One question here!

For those pictures of Thai ladies that you posted on the web, Did you get their permittion to post the pictures?

Kind Regards

"mydrawingtable"

ps. My English might be sloppy..sorry.

pps. I'm a newbiz, so don't scare me away, please.

[Mr Red]

My lovely wife has been married (or shackled) to me for over 34 years now. I met her through friends in Bangkok and stole her away from being a university student -- her parents were very worried at that. We spent a year in Thailand, a year in Las Vegas, 4 years in Germany and the rest in Florida. During all that time we had our troubles like any married couple, but stuck it out and we can't imagine being with anyone else.

In the early 70's she toughed out the American way of life without near the Thai culture support system (food, temples, etc) that there is now. I can't give her enough credit for sticking through that. The German experience through another curve at her, but she is the kind of person that perseveres. She went back to school, learned to drive (that was fun!), and established herself in the health industry. Now we have grown kids, grandkids around, and she is getting ready to retire with me and move back to LOS. I am looking forward to moving there myself, primarily because it will make her so happy to be back with her family in the late years.

I think how someone can adapt to western life is an individual assessment. There is nothing magic and no one solution. The main thing is to look for a girl that will stick with something and is a bit stubborn. She will likely have a better chance to stay the course.

Good luck.

[ThaiLover1]

One question here!

For those pictures of Thai ladies that you posted on the web, Did you get their permittion to post the pictures?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

It is nice to hear about your success story from Denmark. I grew up in Scandinavia myself, so I can relate.

Regarding photos taken in public places:

The photographer owns all the pictures he takes in public places, and he can do what he likes with them - including selling them for money. I am sure you have read about the famous photo paparazzi? They follow famous people around like ghosts. Even though I do not agree with what they are doing, they can make big money doing this.

Of course, you can sue a photographer for defamation of your person etc, if he does something harmful to you, for example posting nud_e photos of you in a magazine or internet. However, by this time it is often too late to stop your photo from being circulated all over the world.

Most snapshot - like the ones in this web page - are harmless and only for fun and enjoyment of life. I would remove any picture if asked, but most people enjoy my pictures in a flattering image. In practice I usually ask people for permission - before taking any photos, and I always remove them from my portfolio when asked (even though I do not have to).

In a private setting (inside a house, a photo studio etc) I would never not sell a photo for commercial gain without getting a model release, and I would also pay the girl for her image.

In a public place, take as many photos as you like. You legally own them. Like this girl - her name is "Aum", and she is now perhaps the number one TV star in Thailand. I met her outside of Gaysorn Plaza. Thai people are so nice and approachable - not at all like US counterparts.

Edited January 24, 2005 by ThaiLover1

[gburns57au]

I wasnt aware that a non bar girl Thai would have any different reactions to moving to a new country or experience any different problems than a bar girl Thai. After all they are all Thai women.

[mydrawingtable]

I wasnt aware that a non bar girl Thai would have any different reactions to moving to a new country or experience any different problems than a bar girl Thai. After all they are all Thai women.

_______________________________________________________

----------- THANK YOU VERY MUCH gburns57au

[2 satang]

I am interested to hear your experiences about bringing a non-bar Thai girlfriend (or wife) to another country for a long term stay. 

Hi,

Not wanting to be judgemental here, but why are you judgemental ?

Most Thai gals coming to the west are indeed BGs or ex-BGs, and most of them are fine people as well.

And I do know some non-BG (or lets call them GTGS = GoodThaiGirls) who are real scheming bitches as well. It takes all to make a world.

As for my experience, life with my GF is a bliss here

just my 2 satang

[gburns57au]

I wasnt aware that a non bar girl Thai would have any different reactions to moving to a new country or experience any different problems than a bar girl Thai. After all they are all Thai women.

_______________________________________________________

----------- THANK YOU VERY MUCH gburns57au

Not sure what to say....you have a red angry face and are shouting at me....

But as you are female, I think you maybe thanking me for the comment...

Not sure

[changnoi0508]

When i met my wife four years ago , i invited her to come to Amsterdam.

I'm living and working in LOS but i wanted her to meet my family and friends ,

and the Dutch way of life.

We went there in may and stayed for three months.

She was very surprised to see that Holland had no mountains and everything

was so clean , compared to Bangkok.

Anyway , there are a lot of Thai restaurants and markets in Amsterdam so

foodwise we had no problems.

She did'nt like the Dutch food but tried it anyway.

We traveled to Barcelona and Rome and Paris and she enjoyed it all very much,

but she told me she was happy to go back to her family and friends in LOS.

After our daughter was born we went back to Holland in wintertime , she loved

the snow and even learned iceskating.

At the moment we live in Korat but next month we will be moving back to Bangkok.

I think my wife can cope with life in Europe , she adapts very quick to new

situations.

But it seems we will be staying in LOS and that's ok for me.

My family and friends visit us on a regular basis so no problem in that department.

Only problem maybe when our daughter has to go to school, we are still

having discussions about that.

It's nice to see that succes-stories exist , both in LOS as overseas.

[Khutan]

People will say things like how much are you paying her or shes a mail order bride.............. When my wife was younger she was verbally abused a few times by jerks but I was there to help her and comfort her. I remember 1 particular case where a jerk said to her in a club "wanna &lt;deleted&gt; for $10" and she came to me crying.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Jealousy is such a curse.

Trust me, if they weren't jealous, they wouldn't care. e.g. she was a 50+ year old middle-eastern woman, you think you would ever get the same connemts ?

I have had the same and I have been totally bored of the "When are you marrying her", "when is her visa finished", "Cant you get a proper g/f"".

Anyway, I am happy here, learning new things, and all of that.

Her I am getting married.

Matt

[ryanb741]

Well I met my wife 8 years ago when she was studying in the UK. We got married 5 years ago and we both live and work in London. I will do the pros and cons of London vs Bangkok (her hometown) from her point of view.

Pros (of Living in London)

- Much more multicultural than BKK - my wife loves all the Indian, Moroccan, lebanese restaurants, carnivals (Notting Hill etc). Thailand is much less diverse with less choice. I can eat Tom Yum once a month, more than that and it's boring. But give me a doner kebab any day of the week.

- Work. My wife gets paid 10x what she would get in BKK. She pays for the mortgage on our house in Bangkok and still pays half our rent, food, going out plus saves money.

- Ease of Transport . People knock London's transport but it knocks BKK's into the dirt (even factoring in the Skytrain and Underground). London's transport infrastructure is so much more diverse. Plus she bought a powerful sports car (Nissan Skyline R34 GTR) which we drive on decent roads. Take that baby out on the tracks around BKK and you will need extensive work done faster than you can say 'knackered suspension'

- UK Pubs and clubs. Pubs, bars and clubs in BKK tend to be either full of fat b*stard western perverts looking for some poon tang or otherwise full of the 'hi-so' fraternity looking you up and down all the time. London has maniacal nightspots, nice friendly pubs, hi-tech bars and excellent nightclubs. BKK's just cannot compare

- TV/broadcasting quality. It might sound trivial but the UK has absolutely, 100% the best television on earth. Compare that to the crappy Thai soap operas or the 'oh-so-impartial' news that even though a plane may have crashed onto the vatican will lead with a story on what the Queen was wearing when she visited some village full of lepers that day

Cons (Of living in London)

- The people. Londoners in general are among the most self-absorbed, arrogant bunch of scummers on the planet. Compare that to the friendly thai people and you can see why Londoners piss my wife off

- The cost of living. We pay one and a half thousand UK pounds per month on a miserably small 2 bed apartment in West london. Compare that to the 12,000THB mortgage we pay on a 4 bed house in BKK

- The weather. It's cold and raining today. It will be cold and rainy tomorrow. It just will. Makes you depressed. BKK is nice and warm. Need I say more

- The housing. Like my wife, I cannot understand the UK pre-occupation with living in 'second hand' houses. In the UK an old property is considered 'full of character'. To anyone else, dilapidated. Drab grey, old buildings. Give me Baiyoke 2 any day of the week

- Away from family. That's the main thing she misses about BKK, family Oh, and maybe Somtam!

My wife has no Thai frineds in the UK (she met a few but said they were 'dodgy'). She hates the reputation thailand has gotten because of the actions of a relative minority. So her friends in London are English.

We have decided to move to BKK in 2 years permanently (big shock for me that will be - I'll go from earning an absolute packet to a pittance as a TEFL teacher. No more Singapore Airlines business class flights to BKK!). But overall, we BOTH prefer BKK to the UK, it's just much more fun.

[mydrawingtable]

I wasnt aware that a non bar girl Thai would have any different reactions to moving to a new country or experience any different problems than a bar girl Thai. After all they are all Thai women.

_______________________________________________________

----------- THANK YOU VERY MUCH gburns57au

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Not sure what to say....you have a red angry face and are shouting at me....

But as you are female, I think you maybe thanking me for the comment...

Not sure

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Hello

It's was suppost to be a red heart says THANK YOU VERY MUCH but I didn't ware my glasses by that time. so, the red heart turn to be the red face.

[Harmonica]

>>>>>>She said as long as I got you I don't care I only care about you.<<<<<<

Yep, that just about covers it!

ThaiLover, you've gotten many fellas (and one girl) in happy relationships to post their thoughts here -- is any of this helping you?

Regards

[ghengis]

My wife hated living ion the UK for the first six months and she was very homesick. Now, almost three years later she prefers living here to Thailand. She even likes the weather here more because she doesn't like the strong sunshine in Thailand.

The problems when Thais first arrive in the UK are due to a lack of friends and boredom. After attending free English Classes (ESOL) and getting out and about, she has integrated very well. Most of her friends are women from her language classes of various nationalities (Chinese, Indonesian, Iranian, Indian ...) plus a few Thai ladies we have met over here.

Of the Thai women in the UK, the majority seem to come from poor Issan backgrounds and only a few have University education like my wife. Thais can be very hierarchical and those with a poor background or "suspect" former occupation may be looked down upon by other Thais. Negative comments from UK people seem to be based more on jealousy - when a man has a much better looking Thai wife than you might expect if married to a UK woman. In general, most people are accepting of Thai people here, partly because of the large number of immigrants.

If both partners are compatible, then married life outside Thailand can work very well. This is true for all types of Thai women.

[Nokkeow]

one thing I neglected to mention is that my wife greatly enjoys the freedom that comes with living in the US. She is able to completely be herself and do what she wants, when she wants, with whom she wants. To most Americans this seems obvious, but from my admittedly limited experiences this is not always so easy in Thailand. When she returns home my wife frequently chafes under the expections of her friends and relatives. We are often pressured into to going on trips, going to dinner, visiting people, etc when would rather do something else. Saying no can cause hard feelings and recriminations. I suspect this would resolve itself if we actually lived in Thailand since there wouldn't be the need to try and cram in everything in just a few days. Anyway, my point is that living outside Thailand has been a liberating experience for my wife, and she has some trouble adjusting when she goes back home and is expected to resume her former place in the family hierarchy...

[ThaiLover1]

I wasnt aware that a non bar girl Thai would have any different reactions to moving to a new country or experience any different problems than a bar girl Thai. After all they are all Thai women.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Excuse me!? In this thread we are not talking just talking about the hot and cold weather - and other effects that might happen to Thai girls. We are talking about cultural effects, including economic. Bar-girls are still people, but a totally different breed of people. Not better or worse - just so different.

No offense intended, but from what I hear the bargirls are mainly in it for the money - not for the love relationship. Non-bar girls can still be in it for money, but they are usually more interested in love!

I never plan to marry a hooker (bar-girl), so if we can limit the discussion to non-bar girls I think this becomes easier. Here is another picture of a sweet office girl.

Edited January 25, 2005 by ThaiLover1