Thai Girls Leaving Their Home Country?

[ThaiLover1]

ThaiLover, you've gotten many fellas (and one girl) in happy relationships to post their thoughts here -- is any of this helping you?     

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I agree, the stories are very positive and happy.

It sure beats the horror stories I have heard from a few traveling friends about Thai wifes scamming the foreigner for all the money he has, keeping a secret Thai boyfriend, divorcing him (when the US greencard is in hand) and moving back to Thailand to stay with another sucker for money etc. I have heard several stories like this. (no joke)

But, Thai girls are so cute.

[ThaiLover1]

Her I am getting married.

Matt

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Thanks for sharing. Very nice picture!

How much did the wedding set you back? How much for the dowry?

[Harmonica]

ThaiLover, you've gotten many fellas (and one girl) in happy relationships to post their thoughts here -- is any of this helping you?     

I agree, the stories are very positive and happy.

It sure beats the horror stories I have heard from a few traveling friends about Thai wifes scamming the foreigner for all the money he has, keeping a secret Thai boyfriend, divorcing him (when the US greencard is in hand) and moving back to Thailand to stay with another sucker for money etc. I have heard several stories like this. (no joke)

But, Thai girls are so cute.

The fellows with the horror stories make the most noise -- its no wonder people get the impression that "everybody" or the majority of TG/farang relationships are scams -- this thread is one of the few where +ve posters on the subject showed up to tell their stories.

[gburns57au]

I wasnt aware that a non bar girl Thai would have any different reactions to moving to a new country or experience any different problems than a bar girl Thai. After all they are all Thai women.

Excuse me!? In this thread we are not talking just talking about the hot and cold weather - and other effects that might happen to Thai girls. We are talking about cultural effects, including economic. Bar-girls are still people, but a totally different breed of people. Not better or worse - just so different.

No offense intended, but from what I hear the bargirls are mainly in it for the money - not for the love relationship. Non-bar girls can still be in it for money, but they are usually more interested in love!

I never plan to marry a hooker (bar-girl), so if we can limit the discussion to non-bar girls I think this becomes easier. Here is another picture of a sweet office girl.

Well excuse me too!?

Do you think a Bar girl is any less cultural a Thai than a non Bar girl ??? Do you think that a bar girl would miss her family, friends, food and Thainess any less than a non Bar girl.

Most bar girls do marry a farang out of love not love of money, if it was the money there were after they would stay in their jobs. Most are looking for emotional security, sure if they marry a well off person than it is good luck for them. I was married to an Isaan non Bar girl and it turned out she was only in it for the perceived (by her) money, so it is not only bar girls who do that.

If you dont want to marry a Bar girl that is your choice, but the only difference between a bar girl and non bar girl is the choice of employment, there is no difference culturally or in any other way. Many farangs have married bar girls and have great and lasting relationships.

Remember that marrying a non bar girl doesnt automatically mean that you will have a true and honest wife who loves you for yourself, She will still have the same expectations as the bar girl.

[Gazza]

I never plan to marry a hooker (bar-girl), so if we can limit the discussion to non-bar girls I think this becomes easier. 

Perhaps it would easier still, if you didn't mention bar-girls yourself. Especially so soon after your statement.

It sure beats the horror stories I have heard from a few traveling friends about Thai wifes scamming the foreigner for all the money he has, keeping a secret Thai boyfriend, divorcing him (when the US greencard is in hand) and moving back to Thailand to stay with another sucker for money etc. I have heard several stories like this. (no joke)

[ThaiLover1]

(1) Do you think a Bar girl is any less cultural a Thai than a non Bar girl ??? Do you think that a bar girl would miss her family, friends, food and Thainess any less than a non Bar girl.

...

(2) Remember that marrying a non bar girl doesnt automatically mean that you will have a true and honest wife who loves you for yourself, She will still have the same expectations as the bar girl.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I totally agree on point (1). On point (2) I disagree. Ask around and check Internet sites and you will find:

Bar-girls are far more dishonest and more interested in money than straight girls.

This is generally speaking, but you can write it on the wall so you do not forget this rule. Bargirls are looking for sugar-daddies and will generally leave when the money runs out. This is their job. It is not that they are evil - it is just their business and training.

I started this thread and would like to limit the experiences reported to non-bar girls. So far, I read more positive stories than negative. It is very educational.

Edited January 25, 2005 by ThaiLover1

[Nokkeow]

"Excuse me!? In this thread we are not talking just talking about the hot and cold weather - and other effects that might happen to Thai girls. We are talking about cultural effects, including economic. Bar-girls are still people, but a totally different breed of people. Not better or worse - just so different." Quote from ThaiLover1

"Bar girls" "hookers" or whatever you label them are not a breed, like german shepards or bulldogs. They are individuals, each with their own unique story and reasons for chosing the path they did. My experience in limited to knowing several former bar girls in the US who married Americans, and based on this I am not able to make the kind of sweeping generalizations that you do. I will say that I have not based my opinions on urban legends and disgruntled internet postings. About the only common denominator with the ladies I am familiar with is that they were faced with the kind of extreme poverty and lack of opportunity that most Westerners can't comprehend. They made a decision about how to make money that went against what they were taught growing up, a decision that most regretted a lot. I have often wondered what I, or one of my sisters, would have done in similar circumstances. Would I have somehow pulled myself up from grinding rural poverty, gotten a university education and become financially successful and started to send money home to support my poor relatives? I would like to think so, but...

Your seeming lack of empathy for women in these difficult circimstances is not unusual, and perhaps even helpful since it makes it easier to just consider these women as another "breed" who are all schemers looking to take your money. The truth from what I have seen is more complicated, and it breaks my heart to think that so many young, attractive rural Thais and Brumese end up selling themselves to western (or Thai) men because they feel they have no alternative. It really is a human tragedy of massive proportion. That said, I agree that I don't think if I were single I would enter into any sort fo relationship with a current/former bargirl. That that probably says more about me and my own prejudices. But I don't think that would make me smart or wise or clever...I have a great deal of respect for the guys who can love a woman for who they are, regardless of what they did before they were married. I have seen several of these marriages work out wonderfully. These guys are better men than me...and maybe you as well.

If you don't think you could handle the issues associated with marrying a bar girl, that's fine, but best not to label them all as a different, lesser "breed" than the office girls, university students etc you are looking for...

Edited January 25, 2005 by Nokkeow

[Khutan]

Her I am getting married.

Matt

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Thanks for sharing. Very nice picture!

How much did the wedding set you back? How much for the dowry?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

After working for contracts and negotiations for a multinational, the dowry was low... Offensively low when I look back.

party was about 5,000 ish say7500, and I also gave my wife 3 baht of gold.

The wedding present from me to her was a bit bigger than expected....

The House, land, everything. So in all I gave up about 1 million, and I don't care - we have alot of happyness.

Here is the house...

[Head Snake]

My gf has a younger sister that married an older man and moved to the US. This allows me to see if my gf wants to do the same. I think my gf is a looker; but, her sister is a STUNNER. I saw pictures of her before; but, in person, WOW! When they both get made up and walk around, life is good.

I know her sister has gone through all the rough spots over the last 2 years and she has perservered. I met her a couple of months ago and will meet up with her and her husband in the coming week.

My gf has noticed that her sister is more aggressive and more outspoken. That's to be expected as that seems to be an american cultural aspect. Is it good or bad? well, lets just say her sister knows how to shut guys down. I laughed my butt off listening to her tell some guys she was going to kick their @ss for them asking her which bar she worked at

I know her sister has had to learn that all guys do not the best intentions for her. She's had to adapt to but basically she is perservering and I can sense she's making the transition. I can also sense she maintains her thai/asian qualities as well. She reserves that for people she knows and cares about.

I'd hate to see my gf's personality get rougher. SHe is such a sweety; but, if I want to stay with her long term and also move back to the states, I expect she will change to adapt too. I also don't want to hear her speak proper english. I like the broken english and thai speaking nuances.

One last thing. Her sister can power a wicked golf swing. SHe can drive from the mens tee. My gf's golf swing is still feminine. I guess when my gf hit a 200 yarder, I'll know she's been westernized.

[thaihome]

To all Western men:

I am interested to hear your experiences about bringing a non-bar Thai girlfriend (or wife) to another country for a long term stay.  I am not asking about immigration issues, but simple things about possible hassles from the Western culture and the impact on the love relationship with your sweet and caring girl from Thailand.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Your poll is incomplete as it does not include the option for what I consider the ideal situation, that is living with your Thai wife (or GF) in a country (probably non-English speaking) other then Thailand or your own home country. For me, doing this has cemented our relationship over the past 6 years as nothing else could. I am friends with or have meet at least 50 Farang-Thai couples in this situation, and virtually everyone one of them prefer this to living in their own country.

Though we are in Thailand now, my wife would leave tomorrow to go live anywhere my company would assign me.

TH

[Harmonica]

>>>>> Bar-girls are far more dishonest and more interested in money than straight girls.

This is generally speaking, but you can write it on the wall so you do not forget this rule. Bargirls are looking for sugar-daddies and will generally leave when the money runs out. This is their job. It is not that they are evil - it is just their business and training. <<<<<<

If even a worthwile point to debate or discuss, and I think it is NOT -- you've got it backwards, pal

and what's worse is that you've made this a rule, a stable datum, something on which you're basing your future. Dumb, dumb, dumb!!!! But its yur life -- knock yourself out!

[gburns57au]

(1) Do you think a Bar girl is any less cultural a Thai than a non Bar girl ??? Do you think that a bar girl would miss her family, friends, food and Thainess any less than a non Bar girl.

...

(2) Remember that marrying a non bar girl doesnt automatically mean that you will have a true and honest wife who loves you for yourself, She will still have the same expectations as the bar girl.

I totally agree on point (1). On point (2) I disagree. Ask around and check Internet sites and you will find:

Bar-girls are far more dishonest and more interested in money than straight girls.

This is generally speaking, but you can write it on the wall so you do not forget this rule. Bargirls are looking for sugar-daddies and will generally leave when the money runs out. This is their job. It is not that they are evil - it is just their business and training.

I started this thread and would like to limit the experiences reported to non-bar girls. So far, I read more positive stories than negative. It is very educational.

Actually I dont need to check the internet, I am talking from experience, you (by your own admission) have garnered your information from secondhand sources.

I have a lot of Thai friends and many of these friends are current bar girls or ex bar girls. While some of them maybe of the type you describe, I can assure you that they are in the minority. Most of the girls are looking for someone to care for them and look after them. A lot of the girls here are married to men of modest means certainly not the sugar daddy types.

It is unfortunate that people like yourself put this tag on bar girls as being something different to "normal" girls....Go to places like the Thermae in Bangkok where non bar girls go to pick up farang men for money, Uni students and office girls used to go to Lumpini Park to pick up farangs, I believe that they have moved from there to somewhere else now. Go chat up the girl in the corner shop or the waitress in the coffee shop or restaurant, after some time offer her some money to go with you, you would be surprised how many will accept your offer.

I wish you luck in finding your normal girl to marry, but how will you know that she hasnt worked a bar before and decided it wasnt for her, how will you know she hasnt at sometime in the past sold herself for whatever reason. Unless she tells you, you will not know. So I suggest that before you marry your normal girl you send her for a medical to ensure she is intact, but even that is not 100% is it ???

Yes there are a lot of girls who wouldnt work a bar for a living, some who have decent jobs and are doing well for themselves. I have some friends like this also. one is a Vet with her own clinic. Unfortunately these girls are looking for farangs who are in the higher income bracket....as my vet friend said...I could not marry a man that earns less than I do...not even for love, she would lose face.

By all means go look for the "normal" girl but dont make comments about bar girls when you dont know anything about them other than what you have read on net forums or books like Private Dancer etc...

[ThaiLover1]

...

party was about 5,000 ish say7500, and I also gave my wife 3 baht of gold.

The wedding present from me to her was a bit bigger than expected....

The House, land, everything. So in all I gave up about 1 million, and I don't care - we have alot of happyness.

...

Very nice - thanks for sharing!

What part of Thailand do you hold a wedding for 7500 baht?? I am still licking my wounds from going to dinner in a 5 star hotel in Bankok. The bill came to around 3,500 baht for two people. Your wedding costs seems very low. Perhaps you are talking another currency. Please explain.

What is "3 baht of gold"?

Where did you buy your two story 1 Mill. baht house?

[Khutan]

...

party was about 5,000 ish say7500, and I also gave my wife 3 baht of gold.

The wedding present from me to her was a bit bigger than expected....

The House, land, everything. So in all I gave up about 1 million, and I don't care - we have alot of happyness.

...

Very nice - thanks for sharing!

What part of Thailand do you hold a wedding for 7500 baht?? I am still licking my wounds from going to dinner in a 5 star hotel in Bankok. The bill came to around 3,500 baht for two people. Your wedding costs seems very low. Perhaps you are talking another currency. Please explain.

What is "3 baht of gold"?

Where did you buy your two story 1 Mill. baht house?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Issan is where you have a 7,500 baht wedding party - and for 30 - 50 people, its quite a party. A decent sized pig is around 1000 and the remainder is on Booze and condaments.

3 baht of gold - gold here is sold by the "Baht" a baht (forgive my memory) is about 15 grams, so 3 baht is about 45 grams

We built the souse in Surin, just near the border with Cambodia, thus why the land is so cheap.

Hope that helps..

Matt

[ryanb741]

7500 Baht for a wedding?!!? Blimey, that's good value. When my wife and I got married we had the religious ceremony at a 'hospital' for sick monks in Bangkok and the evening bash at the Oriental hotel. There were about 200 guests (including 5 that my wife's family had flown over from the UK and France) and the total bill was well over a million Baht. Luckily her family(Thai Chinese) paid, but the guests included the then mayor of Bangkok, various 'khunyings' (whatever the ###### they are I don't know but I got a bollocking for giving one a kiss on the cheek and loads of government and military types (the wife's mother is really high up in the Thai Government).

The only thing is I never got to touch any of the food, my wife and I had to stand in front of the ice statues all evening having pictures taken and then I gave a speech in English, French and Thai. Finally I had to 'consumate' the marriage at the time determined by the monks with all the family outside the room, as consumating it at that time was supposed to be lucky (well it was for me at least!)

[ThaiLover1]

... Many 'good' women are not good women and many bar girls are angels. I have said it before and will say it again... The best human being I met in my life was a prostitute. ...

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I agree with you there are always exception to the rules.

However, I still will not forget the night when the "entertainment girl" answered her cell phone and rushed to the bathroom and told me to be quite. I heard her say things like: "I love you", "I am good girl" etc. She told me later she is engaged to marry and will fly to Europe next month!

I have dated a number of straight girls, and I can tell you first hand nothing like the bar-girl cell phone has happened with them. However, I have a good friend that lives in Thailand. He tells me his bar-girls have 'often' been talking to their husband or fiancée on the cell phone while in the middle of &lt;deleted&gt;..ing!!! I have never seen or heard this with straight girls.

However, we all milk our own cows - and I think some men have shutters on their eyes. You are welcome to marry a bar-girl. It is your life - not mine.

[ThaiLover1]

...Finally I had to 'consumate' the marriage at the time determined by the monks with all the family outside the room,...

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Please explain what you mean by 'consumate'? Do you mean having sex with your new wife, next to the wedding party!?

Isn't that a bit contrasting to the "no-kiss and no-touch" attitude of respectable Thais?

Edited January 26, 2005 by ThaiLover1

[Nokkeow]

... Many 'good' women are not good women and many bar girls are angels. I have said it before and will say it again... The best human being I met in my life was a prostitute. ...

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I agree with you there are always exception to the rules.

However, I still will not forget the night when the "entertainment girl" answered her cell phone and rushed to the bathroom and told me to be quite. I heard her say things like: "I love you", "I am good girl" etc. She told me later she is engaged to marry and will fly to Europe next month!

I have dated a number of straight girls, and I can tell you first hand nothing like the bar-girl cell phone has happened with them. However, I have a good friend that lives in Thailand. He tells me his bar-girls have 'often' been talking to their husband or fiancée on the cell phone while in the middle of &lt;deleted&gt;..ing!!! I have never seen or heard this with straight girls.

However, we all milk our own cows - and I think some men have shutters on their eyes. You are welcome to marry a bar-girl. It is your life - not mine.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I don't think anyone is trying to convince you to marry a bar girl or to consider marrying one. Certainly not my issue or concern. Your life, make up your own rules. Who cares? Just don't be surprised that some people have a more nuanced view about ladies that work in bars, or react negatively to your attitude of "I got it figured out, all you other guys are chumps." It is interesting that by your own admission you use the services of bar girls, and you don't seem to have any problem with it. Are you going to disclose that to the "good" Thai girl your are looking for if/when you find her? Most good Thai girls probably wouldn't be too interested in a foreign man who frequents prostitutes...no problem, just lie to her and keep sneeking away to patpong when you get the chance. Nothing like building a relationship on a foundation of lies and double standards, just like many Thai men like to do.

[ryanb741]

...Finally I had to 'consumate' the marriage at the time determined by the monks with all the family outside the room,...

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Please explain what you mean by 'consumate'? Do you mean having sex with your new wife, next to the wedding party!?

Isn't that a bit contrasting to the "no-kiss and no-touch" attitude of respectable Thais?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

That's exactly right. The monks had ordained the auspicious time for the marriage to be consummated and we 'did the business' while the folks and close family were waiting outside the door (it was a suite so they were too far away to hear).

I don't know if this is a Chinese thing or a Thai thing but by consummating the marriage at that precise moment it was supposed to lead to luck for a happy marriage

[tuky]

Matt,

Congrats mate, your wife is absolutely beautiful, and your house is great...

Your one lucky guy.

[Harmonica]

>>>> However, I have a good friend that lives in Thailand. He tells me his bar-girls have 'often' been talking to their husband or fiancée on the cell phone while in the middle of &lt;deleted&gt;..ing!!! I have never seen or heard this with straight girls. <<<<<

Some friend you have!

The straight girls on the Jerry Springer show would make these girls look like saints!

[ThaiLover1]

>>>> However, I have a good friend that lives in Thailand. He tells me his bar-girls have 'often' been talking to their husband or fiancée on the cell phone while in the middle of &lt;deleted&gt;..ing!!! I have never seen or heard this with straight girls.  <<<<<

Some friend you have!

The straight girls on the Jerry Springer show would make these girls look like saints! 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Agreed.

Stay informed about bar-girls. Education is power.

Do not close your eyes - just because you believe you and your girl is different from all the rest. I have seen so many Western guys make this mistake in Thailand.

[ThaiLover1]

...Are you going to disclose that to the "good" Thai girl your are looking for if/when you find her?  Most good Thai girls probably wouldn't be too interested in a foreign man who frequents prostitutes...no problem, just lie to her and keep sneeking away to patpong when you get the chance.   Nothing like building a relationship on a foundation of lies and double standards, just like many Thai men like to do.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I have told my woman all about my past, it is an open book. She love me dearly. And, I do not cheat either (no sneaking off to the see bar-girls). She also knows it and likes this integrity.

I am VERY stable and secure. And, I get all I want from my woman at home. Sorry, to break your illusion. Find somebody else to pick on.

Edited January 27, 2005 by ThaiLover1

[ThaiLover1]

Her I am getting married. Matt

Very nice wife, Matt.

Can I ask where you met such a sweet lady?

[Nokkeow]

...Are you going to disclose that to the "good" Thai girl your are looking for if/when you find her?  Most good Thai girls probably wouldn't be too interested in a foreign man who frequents prostitutes...no problem, just lie to her and keep sneeking away to patpong when you get the chance.   Nothing like building a relationship on a foundation of lies and double standards, just like many Thai men like to do.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I have told my woman all about my past, it is an open book. She love me dearly. And, I do not cheat either (no sneaking off to the see bar-girls). She also knows it and likes this integrity.

I am VERY stable and secure. And, I get all I want from my woman at home. Sorry, to break your illusion. Find somebody else to pick on.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Upon reflection some of my comments were inappropriate. I crossed the line from commenting on your comments to making uninformed personal judgments about you. I apologize. Best of luck with your relationship.

[ThaiLover1]

Upon reflection some of my comments were inappropriate.  I crossed the line from commenting on your comments to making uninformed personal judgments about you.  I apologize.  Best of luck with your relationship.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

No problem. It takes guts to appologize in a public forum.

You just earned yourself several big credits. (smile)

[lional6]

I just keep coming back to this thread, to look at the girls.

[snoophound]

well from experience

curious morality with some of these girls

remember they are looking for family support more than a falang gal wld

for every good story prob three bad

just my three satangs

I just keep coming back to this thread, to look at the girls.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

[Scallywag]

They leave the home country and get more money for selling themselves, makes economical sense.

As for the stupid farang who is gulible enough to take one over, he deserves all he gets.

[ryanb741]

They leave the home country and get more money for selling themselves, makes economical sense.

As for the stupid farang who is gulible enough to take one over, he deserves all he gets.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Well I think you are slightly overgeneralising - put it this way, my wife's family are worth about 10 times what my own family is (and my own family are well off by UK standards). So I very much doubt it is always the money that makes the girls come over