Thais Touching Your Kids

[loong]

This is stupid, I've just realised that my last 2 replies to this topic have been disallowed because " You have posted more than the allowed quoted blocks of text". I only quoted 1 post but it already had too many quotes

Quote from Neera nam

No, I had no idea.

Ask any Brit, they'll confirm it.

The UK police force were told that they HAD to recruit more ethnic minorities some years back and so for a while were turning down more suitable candidates simply because they were white. The strange thing is that the PC crowd would not accept that this was reverse discrimination.

In the USA the PC crowd (including Obama) lobbied that the banks were discriminating against ethnic minorities by not offering the same mortgages as they were to more financially stable people that happened to be white. We all know what that led to.

I realise that my posts may appear racist to a degree, but I assure you that I do not have a racist bone in my body.

[loong]

I think your pushing it. what is Positive discrimination???

Ok so you say "Black is Beautiful" Dose that automatically mean that Fair is ugly???? ofcouse not! It's just a compliment of one's skin tone, like "My Fair Lady" It's not discrimination if it dosn't disrespect anyone. You can love yourself and your own without hating others.

Many Thais could use such a lesson and trash all that chemical whiting bleach crap and stop trying to look like Koreans & Japanese.

You obviously don't come from the Uk or you would understand.

Yes in the Uk you can say that Dark haired, dark skinned, dark eyed Thai ladies are beautiful. This will be accepted as a compliment to the beautiful Asian people.

If you say white skinned, blond, blue eyed people are beautiful then you must be a Nazi!

[digdug]

yo some dude tuches my kid id be stompin his head for like hours n he wont be messin wit kids no more when his busted up head scares em all awawy

[jts-khorat]

Well in the OP's case It would depend on what it looked like, if it was just a simple touch on the arm and the guy seemed sincere I would say thank you and tell the girl "What do you say?" Prompting her to say "Thank you" also which would probably just be adorable.

If the guy looked creepy I would pull my daughter back and give him the glare that says "I will kill you." (and I do have one of those in stock for just such situations lol) along with a nod and a monotone "Thank You".

I'm sure that would do the trick though 99% of the time it's probably just genuine admiration.

The OP and other posters here are clearly overreacting (and very badly so if they think violence is in order); Thai people do think nothing of putting their children under observation by others or having physical contact with the children of other people.

An example situation: I was recently in the village at a temple fair; a woman asked my girlfriend if she could carry her toddler to her house as she had her hands full. I was thinking immediately that they must know each other well but my girlfriend told me that she barely knew the family of this girl. I was quite uncomfortable with this situation, especially as the baby grew heavy and I had to carry it, my girlfriend laughed about me and could not understand why I would be worried... and after thinking about it if must say she is right as the baby in this story and the child of the OP never were out if visible range and parental control.

As such I would assume at first that the Thai man touching the OP's daughter on the arm and voicing a compliment about the kid to him was absolutely harmless and innocent; I would assume even a harsh answer would create nothing but confusion on the Thai side -- one more situation where we foreigners are just crazy and 'think too much'.

Acting violently as some here have suggested would create, my assumption, the same amount of confusion by the police, which would be siding (rightly) with the Thai man; PC lunatics have no place in this society, especially not if they are not tourists where different social norms can be expected, but if they stay here so long as to have integrated visibly (eg founded a family and have children).

[sanook2me]

This is stupid, I've just realised that my last 2 replies to this topic have been disallowed because " You have posted more than the allowed quoted blocks of text". I only quoted 1 post but it already had too many quotes

Quote from Neera nam

No, I had no idea.

Ask any Brit, they'll confirm it.

The UK police force were told that they HAD to recruit more ethnic minorities some years back and so for a while were turning down more suitable candidates simply because they were white. The strange thing is that the PC crowd would not accept that this was reverse discrimination.

In the USA the PC crowd (including Obama) lobbied that the banks were discriminating against ethnic minorities by not offering the same mortgages as they were to more financially stable people that happened to be white. We all know what that led to.

I realise that my posts may appear racist to a degree, but I assure you that I do not have a racist bone in my body.

I'm from England and I can confirm PC is crazy - the liberals have taken over since the 60's we need some sold right wingers in charge .....

"where are you maggie?"

[fiddlehead]

More and more people move here and then have a problem with the culture.

I agree that it's more of a good thing than a bad one.

My kid gets touched a lot too and sometimes it irritates me.

but i realize i'm not in the country or culture that i grew up in and i see them doing it to many Thai kids too.

Get over it.

[loong]

yo some dude tuches my kid id be stompin his head for like hours n he wont be messin wit kids no more when his busted up head scares em all awawy

Are you serious????

You know that people are concerned that a person who touches the arm of their children may be a threat, that's fair enough. But most people have the brains to evaluate the situation and react accordingly. Most people are blessed with common sense thank God.

I can assure you Mr digdug, that if you have children in Thailand, then somebody WILL touch your child. If you do what you say, you'll certainly live to regret it in a Thai prison.

Judge "Why did you stomp this man's head?"

DD "Because he touched my child's arm and told me that my child was cute"

Judge "What are you - some kind of maniac? Case proven"

[Thaifever]

I should think 99.9999% of the world aren't kiddy fiddlers as opposed to the papers suggesting they are everywhere.

Agreed. The media perpetrates a lot of bs, which feeds people's fears.

Something we can learn from Thai culture. Thais are not afraid to touch strangers, it brings about a communal feeling in people. We are to rigid and suspicious in the west.

[ALFREDO]

My 3 mixed European-Thai sons, 7, 5 and 1,5 young are lucky.

They look same me and NOBODY wants to touch them! or ?

[GuestHouse]

You overly protective Westerners know nothing Thai culture and arrived yesterday - right?

Your totally out of order the PB.

As parents we have an absolute responsibility to our children to protect them - Nothing about being over protective and everything about being a good parent.

And an observation on Thai culture - Thais do not go around touching, pinching, picking up, tickling or in anyway messing with the children of other Thais that they do not know - IT DOES NOT HAPPEN.

But hey, their's a foreigner with his little foreign 'Duk-a-taar' let's go play with it.

I'll give you an example:

When our daughter was at tot I took her with me shopping to Mike's Department store in Pattaya - Like many parents in Thailand I was quite happy to let her run around as I could always find her by simply looking at the shop assistants to see where they themselves were looking - basic geometry - all looking at where the little-un was tottering around.

But also like most parents you get a second sense when something's wrong - I knew without asking something was wrong by the look of the face of one of the shop assistants - I ran around the counter to find a Thai woman with a pair of scissors cutting a chunk out of our daughter's hair - I went F@cking berserk - took the scissors off her and cut a chunk of hair off her head that left her half bald.

Over protective - not understanding Thai culture my backside - My kids, my duty to protect them and my right to do so.

[GuestHouse]

Mind there's a flip side.....

On an earlier occasion I was with my then infant daughter in Bookazine browsing the books with my daughter perched in one arm - All of a sudden the a young French women to the left of me let out and explanation - My daughter had got both hands inside the woman's top trying to get one of her tits out....

I remarked... "I'd better get her home, I think she's hungry'.

[rixalex]

Mind there's a flip side.....

On an earlier occasion I was with my then infant daughter in Bookazine browsing the books with my daughter perched in one arm - All of a sudden the a young French women to the left of me let out and explanation - My daughter had got both hands inside the woman's top trying to get one of her tits out....

I remarked... "I'd better get her home, I think she's hungry'.

Haven't we all rushed home for a bit of tit at one time?

[rixalex]

You overly protective Westerners know nothing Thai culture and arrived yesterday - right?

Your totally out of order the PB.

And an observation on Thai culture - Thais do not go around touching, pinching, picking up, tickling or in anyway messing with the children of other Thais that they do not know - IT DOES NOT HAPPEN.

You are right, in general Thais don't go round touching other Thai people's kids, but if you think that's because it's socially unacceptable, i think you are wrong. The only reason they don't touch these kids is because they have no urge to - they've seen these sorts of kids hundreds of times before.

[Crushdepth]

Maybe I'm over-protective towards my girls?

Yep I think so. Thais love genuinely kids, it's the culture so get used to it (that's why it 'often happens). In my opinion the way they treat kids is much healthier than in 'the west'.

So take a chill pill and relax.

[Neeranam]

As parents we have an absolute responsibility to our children to protect them - Nothing about being over protective and everything about being a good parent.

And an observation on Thai culture - Thais do not go around touching, pinching, picking up, tickling or in anyway messing with the children of other Thais that they do not know - IT DOES NOT HAPPEN.

But hey, their's a foreigner with his little foreign 'Duk-a-taar' let's go play with it.

Absolutely GH.

That's the annoying thing - they think we'll smile and say , "thank you" like many here in the poll who think they understand Thai culture but don't really have a clue.

[qualtrough]

If someone coming up and touching your daughter's arm and complimenting her upsets you, you really should not be living in Thailand. I have two young daughters and I wasn't even aware that seomthing like that should be something that offended me. I simply find it amazing all the comments on racism, sexism, etc. So, so glad that I don't live back home.

[qualtrough]

And an observation on Thai culture - Thais do not go around touching, pinching, picking up, tickling or in anyway messing with the children of other Thais that they do not know - IT DOES NOT HAPPEN.

Guesthouse, I really wonder if you live in Thailand? If you are here, just what part of Thailand do you live in? Thais regularly touch, hold, pick up the children of other Thasi that they do not know. Not saying that they all do it, but it is not even close to being unusual. I am simply stunned that in all your supposed time here you could say that. I would be interested if other people living here for some time would comment on whether Guesthouse's observation is accurate or not.

Edited April 24, 2009 by qualtrough

[basjke]

Mind there's a flip side.....

On an earlier occasion I was with my then infant daughter in Bookazine browsing the books with my daughter perched in one arm - All of a sudden the a young French women to the left of me let out and explanation - My daughter had got both hands inside the woman's top trying to get one of her tits out....

I remarked... "I'd better get her home, I think she's hungry'.

Your daughter must have your genes for sure.

[amasus]

As a Thai, I'd like to share our (Thai) thought, we think that your kid is adorable, truly. Remember that in case that it's a touch only, not stroke or hit!!!

Thais obsess 'Look Kreung' (half Asian + half Western), we see that every Look Kreung is Suri Cruise!

However, I had learned from parent's reaction both from my touch or other's. So I stop doing this even WE do the same with every kids including Thai kids.

I understand your feeling because I heard lots of complaints of my sis when my nephews & niece were little. We are all Thai-Chinese clans and be afraid of hygiene rather than other thing else.

PS: I am female, so touching kid is more acceptable than male

[Huey]

I think your pushing it. what is Positive discrimination???

Ok so you say "Black is Beautiful" Dose that automatically mean that Fair is ugly???? ofcouse not! It's just a compliment of one's skin tone, like "My Fair Lady" It's not discrimination if it dosn't disrespect anyone. You can love yourself and your own without hating others.

Many Thais could use such a lesson and trash all that chemical whiting bleach crap and stop trying to look like Koreans & Japanese.

You obviously don't come from the Uk or you would understand.

Yes in the Uk you can say that Dark haired, dark skinned, dark eyed Thai ladies are beautiful. This will be accepted as a compliment to the beautiful Asian people.

If you say white skinned, blond, blue eyed people are beautiful then you must be a Nazi!

I don't buy it, I have had a couple of lovers from England and Ireland and I complimented them on their fair skin and red or blond hair, emerald green eyes..all without them saying I'm a Nazi LOL... I think you just have a problem.

[loong]

You overly protective Westerners know nothing Thai culture and arrived yesterday - right?

Your totally out of order the PB..............And an observation on Thai culture - Thais do not go around touching, pinching, picking up, tickling or in anyway messing with the children of other Thais that they do not know - IT DOES NOT HAPPEN.

..........

When our daughter was at tot I took her with me shopping to Mike's Department store in Pattaya - Like many parents in Thailand I was quite happy to let her run around as I could always find her by simply looking at the shop assistants to see where they themselves were looking - basic geometry - all looking at where the little-un was tottering around.

But also like most parents you get a second sense when something's wrong - I knew without asking something was wrong by the look of the face of one of the shop assistants - I ran around the counter to find a Thai woman with a pair of scissors cutting a chunk out of our daughter's hair - I went F@cking berserk - took the scissors off her and cut a chunk of hair off her head that left her half bald.

Over protective - not understanding Thai culture my backside - My kids, my duty to protect them and my right to do so.

I see Thai people touch other peoples' kids all the time, so I dont know why your world is so different to mine and so many other people who have posted here.

Then again allowing a tot to run around in a busy shopping mall unsupervised and out of sight is not taking care of the child in my world. If you had kept your daughter with you, the woman would not have been able to cut her hair.

[DarloKnight]

I live in the UK and holiday in Thailand, I feel more safe in Thailand with my 10 year old daughter than I do at home. We have had loads of comments and our daughter being touched (my daughter is big for her age) The Thai's have patted her stomache and have said to me "your daughter is fat" I have not taken this as a insult as I know nothing mean was meant by this, they have touched her and said she is beautiful I have not got worried by this. If this happened back in the Uk I would be horrified has this is not the western way. My daughter was also sick one day at the beach we were sat at a bar and one of the old Thai ladies working at the bar came up and gave her a tablet and said it would make her feel better and let her lie down she really helped us with our daughter.

I just wish that in the UK we were more family and child orientated the Thai have some values we can learn from.

[MidoriApple]

I think it is so wrong!!

In Thai Culture, seriously we DO NOT touch nobody's kids without asking their parents' allowance.

Touching, holding, hugging is not Thai culture, especially to person we don't know or familiar with.

It's true that luk-krueng kids will get more attention and may be asked to be held or even sniffed.

To touch a girl 7yo by MALE is completely unacceptable for Thai, no matter the reason is.

She is considered as a young lady very soon.

I don't see this in Bangkok, seriously, none at all.

May be you guys mostly live in muu-baans, socials there are smaller, people know each other more than in city...

For me, I do hug, hold..even kick my little monkeys (cousins) or my friends' kids, of course!

But no touching to strangers, it's not too paranoid but hygenic purpose.

In my family, we really don't like strangers to touch our little members also.

[GuestHouse]

And an observation on Thai culture - Thais do not go around touching, pinching, picking up, tickling or in anyway messing with the children of other Thais that they do not know - IT DOES NOT HAPPEN.

Guesthouse, I really wonder if you live in Thailand? If you are here, just what part of Thailand do you live in? Thais regularly touch, hold, pick up the children of other Thasi that they do not know. Not saying that they all do it, but it is not even close to being unusual. I am simply stunned that in all your supposed time here you could say that. I would be interested if other people living here for some time would comment on whether Guesthouse's observation is accurate or not.

Be stunned, qualtrough - And if you look back a page you'll see others have agreed with me.

And yes, I live in Thailand... I'm in Thailand....

I see Thai people touch other peoples' kids all the time, so I dont know why your world is so different to mine and so many other people who have posted here.

Then again allowing a tot to run around in a busy shopping mall unsupervised and out of sight is not taking care of the child in my world. If you had kept your daughter with you, the woman would not have been able to cut her hair.

Loong, when I want advice on raising my kids from a bar stool attendant I'll be in touch.

----------

Here's an observation I've often seen demonstrated to be correct.

Having worked and lived in quite a few countries, it has been my observation that the expats who get along with the local culture and are able to work/live effectively in foreign cultures are those who start from a platform of valuing and respecting their own culture first.

Throwing your own values out the window and accepting everything the local culture foists on you (and your children) - well .... OK so your ever so grateful to be here, and wish to demonstrate that by being ever so humble…

I guess some guys get to like the taste.

[BigSnake]

I would think to much into it as it was in your present, and if got it right you said it was a parent, maybe just a goodwill gesture to you and your child. My vote smile and say thank you.

[Heng]

In general (and just like most of the themes on this thread, it's somewhat of a broad brush): folks will touch your kids if they feel you are of the same or lower class as they are. And like all things, that's not going to be clear cut. Luk krungs and farangs in general, as mentioned on another thread don't have a clear cut place in the hierarchy, so that kind of makes them 'open season' to innocent fondling. The scruffier you and your kids appear (and I know, looks can be deceiving), the more likely they are to get ruffled, and if you keep your kids in real bad shape, people might even give them snacks and loose change because they appear to be street kids.

I find that a slight wave off keeps people from doing that 'cheek pinch' or 'hair ruffle.' I don't do that as much if the person in question appears fairly well kempt, is older, etc.

Edited April 25, 2009 by Heng

[Geekfreaklover]

I think it is so wrong!!

In Thai Culture, seriously we DO NOT touch nobody's kids without asking their parents' allowance.

Touching, holding, hugging is not Thai culture, especially to person we don't know or familiar with.

It's true that luk-krueng kids will get more attention and may be asked to be held or even sniffed.

To touch a girl 7yo by MALE is completely unacceptable for Thai, no matter the reason is.

She is considered as a young lady very soon.

I don't see this in Bangkok, seriously, none at all.

May be you guys mostly live in muu-baans, socials there are smaller, people know each other more than in city...

For me, I do hug, hold..even kick my little monkeys (cousins) or my friends' kids, of course!

But no touching to strangers, it's not too paranoid but hygenic purpose.

In my family, we really don't like strangers to touch our little members also.

Quite right too.

[loong]

I see Thai people touch other peoples' kids all the time, so I dont know why your world is so different to mine and so many other people who have posted here.

Then again allowing a tot to run around in a busy shopping mall unsupervised and out of sight is not taking care of the child in my world. If you had kept your daughter with you, the woman would not have been able to cut her hair.

Loong, when I want advice on raising my kids from a bar stool attendant I'll be in touch.

I wasn't offering advice - and please tell me why do you refer to me as a bar stool attendant? I just pointed out that I was puzzled that your observations are so different to mine.

Your idea of what is taking care of a child is also different to mine. If I took littl'un to a busy shopping mall, she would be under my watchful eye for the whole time. You rely on looking at where the assistants are looking to locate your daughter's whereabouts. Of course, yes that's fine isn't it - as long as the assistants aren't busy or maybe looking at somebody else's child.

You don't even realise that by the time you reacted, your child had already been assaulted and it could have been much worse.

I'm not offering you advice, I just hope that nothing even worse happens to your daughter while you let her run around.

An infamous story

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_James_Bulger

and another

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_Adam_Walsh

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,22444871-1245,00.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amy_Mihaljevic

Of course, there are many more reports like this.

[bungy007]

I'm amazed that so many people would actually be violent because somebody touched a girls ARM and said that they thought she was cute.

I think that most people can tell whether it's a creepy thing or not.

Political correctness out of control again.

Indeed. These days people look for reasons to get offended.

The world has gone mad.

Have to agree! Part of going to school is making friends and that goes for both the children and parents. Perhaps the OP should consider home schooling and adopting a muslim approach to his girls - not allowed out of the house! Next thing you know he'll be complaining about people smiling at them!

[scorecard]

Two years back I had my two year old granddaughter (100% Thai, my adopted Thai sons daughter) sitting in the kiddie seat of the shopping trolley on the forecourt of Lotus.

A farang guy, perhaps late twenties, walked up and suddenly rubbed both his hands all over her face. I quickly insisted he stop and his reaction was 'can't you take a joke'?

To 'impress' him other farang friends (2 or 3, I forget) he then quickly put his face near my granddaughter and started to lick her face.

By this stage I was getting pretty angry and my son also and he had told the Lotus staf to very quickly bring the security manager. In fact the Lotus staff member also called the Tourist Police and asked them to come quickly and they were on site within a couple of minutes.

The police took all the details and our names and telephone numbers, then took the offender away. The Tourist Police called us 24 hours later to tell us the guy had threathen the police and had kicked one policeman, so they took him back to his 300Baht room to get his belongings and took him to the airport and made sure he was promptly on a departing flight.

After the guy was taken away from Lotus his friends quickly apologized and also revealed he had done the same thing several times before.