If You Had Only 3 Months To Live...

[camerata]

Suppose you've just been told you have a terminal disease and have 3 months to live. There is an operation that offers a one in a million chance that you can continue to live, so of course you'll try it. How would you deal with the situation mentally as you waited a couple of months for the operation?

As a Buddhist, do you think you would not think about it, meditate a lot, make merit a lot, chant, pray to Buddha, pray to God, pray to God and the Buddha, read Dhamma talks, consult a monk, consult a counsellor, buy a Buddha image...? What do you think would reduce the suffering for you? Would you abandon Buddhism and go back to Christianity or some other religion? Would you go out and get drunk every night?

This situation happened to a couple my parents knew. The wife had a rare hormonal problem. AFAIK, the husband promised God if she pulled through he'd go to church the rest of his life. She did, and he kept his word.

The reason I ask, is that some popular Buddhist practices make a lot more sense when you are feeling totally helpless. A young colleague of mine died last week and the Pali chanting we did for her seemed to take away that feeling of not being able to help. I don't really know what I'd do in the above situation. I'd meditate - if I could. I'd probably find some comfort in a Buddha image to remind me of what the Buddha discovered and achieved. I'm sure I'd read a lot of Dhamma. I'm sure I'd make merit in some way.

[harrry]

Suppose you've just been told you have a terminal disease and have 3 months to live. There is an operation that offers a one in a million chance that you can continue to live, so of course you'll try it. How would you deal with the situation mentally as you waited a couple of months for the operation?

.

I am not a budhist by your probable definitions although I subscribe to the value system that it contains.

I can only say what I did when I had to decide between almost certain death in 6 months or a one in three chance of surving and having a reasonably succesfull operation.

Yes I took the operation.

I looked at the options found out all I could about the operation and its possible consequences and took the decision that the chance was worth taking. I can honestly say that when I looked up into the eyes of the nurse taking me to the theatre wondering if they were the last I would see. I was not particuarly worried though as I had allready decided that what would happen would and one way or the other I was in for a new experience.

Edited May 4, 2009 by harrry

[surayu]

Does it really matter in the end, for how long a person is going to live? just one day or a 100 years do not really matter to me, try to live your life at is best as long as your actions will not make other's lifes worse (unless you have a reason for it, ie: chasing a scammer), we could be gone any days and for any given reasons, the trick stays in making sure we live decently without risking to have a worse life tomorrow, in addition to this i will also suggest to never procreate, as i really see this as a really irresponsible and selfish act, people seems to prolificate just to make sure they get some sort of "back up" later during the life cycle, how can someone do something like that? it doesn't matter how rich they will be as the sufference a human being will be subjected to during their life is surely not worth the ride, think, you will get sick, see almost everything and everyone you love or care about die, being destroyed, etc, sorry if i might sound kind of pessimistic but that's how i see reality, so, enjoy your life at it's best but be responsible!

[Avante]

Read The Secret 1000 times. Stay positive and maybe the person can kick off the disease completely off and live till 1000 years old.

Ask the Universe..and u shall recieve...

[phetaroi]

Suppose you've just been told you have a terminal disease and have 3 months to live. There is an operation that offers a one in a million chance that you can continue to live, so of course you'll try it. How would you deal with the situation mentally as you waited a couple of months for the operation?

Actually, with those odds I would not consent to the surgery. If it were a 10-20% chance of success I might. 30-40% I would go for it.

As a Buddhist, do you think you would not think about it, meditate a lot, make merit a lot, chant, pray to Buddha, pray to God, pray to God and the Buddha, read Dhamma talks, consult a monk, consult a counsellor, buy a Buddha image...? What do you think would reduce the suffering for you? Would you abandon Buddhism and go back to Christianity or some other religion? Would you go out and get drunk every night?

Given that, I would not suddenly try to change my lifestyle to "reduce my suffering". I might become more mindful of the way I am living my life and improve, but I would not think I could suddenly change what I had already done. Pray to Buddha and God, yes, as I do now.

This situation happened to a couple my parents knew. The wife had a rare hormonal problem. AFAIK, the husband promised God if she pulled through he'd go to church the rest of his life. She did, and he kept his word.

The reason I ask, is that some popular Buddhist practices make a lot more sense when you are feeling totally helpless. A young colleague of mine died last week and the Pali chanting we did for her seemed to take away that feeling of not being able to help. I don't really know what I'd do in the above situation. I'd meditate - if I could. I'd probably find some comfort in a Buddha image to remind me of what the Buddha discovered and achieved. I'm sure I'd read a lot of Dhamma. I'm sure I'd make merit in some way.

In the situation you mention here, I probably would make merit, but not to improve the deceased "chances" (that was up to the deceased and in my opinion cannot be altered by others). And not to find false comfort for myself. Rather, I think that there comes a time when it is healthy for the person who is suffering from a loss to take actions (prayer, meditation, etc.) to bring some sense of closure to the event. I just experienced a great loss that for nearly a week brought me to tears repeatedly. Then I reached that point when I could remember the happy times and think of things that made me smile about that lovely past.

[IMA_FARANG]

My Thai girlfriend had a brother who died from cancer. He knew there was a treatment he could take, but it was far to expensive for his family to afford. It would have meant spending all his family's savings (and selling their land) on treatment...which might have extended his life for a year or so. He chose not to take the treatment. His cancer eventually took him, and the end of his life was spent fighting the pain. It took about a year, not the 3 months mentioned here. He chose to take care of his family, not himself.

I don't know if I could do that or not.

But I guess as a Buddhist he felt was his fate anyhow. And he truely loved his family.

That was his choice.

[DragonQuest]

I WILL GO TO PATTAYA BABY!

[agent69]

Baddha used to ask Phra Arnon how often he reminded himself of death. Phar Arnon answered a thousand times a day. The Buddha said he was still negligent in his practice. He said to him that he reminded himself every breathing in and out.

So guess what a real buddhist would do ... nothing more ... nothing less. Those who are ready it does not matter when.

[Svenn]

I was not particuarly worried though as I had allready decided that what would happen would and one way or the other I was in for a new experience.

I think this sentiment is what most people are generally surprised to find themselves feeling- more mentally relaxed than they thought they'd be when they're told they're going to die. I think it might feel like a big weight off your shoulders- you would quickly loose the terrifying sense of the unknown. But who knows, if I couldn't attain any concentration or samadhi, I might just take a lot of ecstasy and go to pattaya or something

[rockyysdt]

Suppose you've just been told you have a terminal disease and have 3 months to live.

Accept enlightenment wasn't meant to be in this lifetime.

Continue to live in a way which doesn't harm others.

Tidy up outstanding issues.

Love my family & friends.

Help inspire others & give.

Read inspirational text.

[sabaijai]

Read The Secret 1000 times. Stay positive and maybe the person can kick off the disease completely off and live till 1000 years old.

Ask the Universe..and u shall recieve...

The Law of Attraction: A vain and feeble attempt to avoid the Law of Karma

[khaowong1]

Baddha used to ask Phra Arnon how often he reminded himself of death. Phar Arnon answered a thousand times a day. The Buddha said he was still negligent in his practice. He said to him that he reminded himself every breathing in and out.

So guess what a real buddhist would do ... nothing more ... nothing less. Those who are ready it does not matter when.

very good... we, at least I, forget the breathing part of our lives... we take it for granted... I will use your example and concentrate more on my breathing in and out... thanks...

[appleman]

You would probably have to go through Kubler-Ross' 5 stages of dying, i.e. Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance. In an episode of The Simpsons, Homer thinks he is dying (from eating the fugu fish) and he goes through the 5 stages, in about 5 seconds. Then he is fine with it all. There is a really interesting Tibetan meditation technique. You meditate on what happens to your body when you die. All life systems stop, you begin to putrefy, the bugs come and eat you, and eventually you are all dust once more. Sounds morbid but if done correctly will help lead to that last stage "acceptance" (since not all of us are as enlightened as Homer). Even the Bible tells us "for dust you are and to dust you will return", Genesis 3:19.

I personally would make sure that I did the two things that I believe need to be done before we move on. I would make sure that I forgave those people who I believe have wronged me. It is pretty important to make sure you forgive you parents. And then I would hope for forgiveness of those I may have wronged. I would especially ask my children to forgive me, not so much for me but so that they can move on. Having done these two things I would settle down and eat as much fried chicken skins, fatty lamb chops, and butter almond ice cream as possible. No need to worry about my weight or cholesterol now.

[Neeranam]

I WILL GO TO PATTAYA BABY!

You must be joking?

I'd try to help others, very selfish to diappear off to a temple.

[NotYetArahan]

I think it is an excellent question everybody should ask him/herself. The answer could provide some focus for the future.

Actually the Buddha said you should contemplate that the out-breath you do now will be the last one. No more in-breath. (Or was it that the spoon of food you take at this moment will be the last one? Anyway, you are advised to contemplate that death could be just one breath away. This will help focus on living in the here and now.)

[fabianfred]

Suppose you've just been told you have a terminal disease and have 3 months to live.

Accept enlightenment wasn't meant to be in this lifetime.

for me...aiming for enlightenment in a single lifetime is too much...... better to aim for stream-entry

practice mindfulness up until the last moment....

One who seriously practices can expect to attain nirvana in seven days...or months ....or years.....or lives (...= Sotapanna)

[asianbravo]

i would sell everything i have got ........... get the money wine and dine ......... merry and live the best 3 months of my life.............

if i ain got a family or commitments ........... to think about it ......... even i had a family it will not be much of a problem ....... insurance will take care of it .......... pattaya or maybe las vegas would be good

[fabianfred]

i would sell everything i have got ........... get the money wine and dine ......... merry and live the best 3 months of my life.............

if i ain got a family or commitments ........... to think about it ......... even i had a family it will not be much of a problem ....... insurance will take care of it .......... pattaya or maybe las vegas would be good

มาสว่าง......ไปมืด [ ma sawang, pai meud ]

Edited May 15, 2009 by camerata
Added karaoke translation.